Doesn’t mean that much to me
To mean that much to you

old_man_speedos

Old man came from here

Old people!

Come on, give me a break.

I know it’s not ALL your fault, but still.

You could be a little more considerate of those around you.

Everywhere I go, old people are ruining my otherwise joyful, carefree, laughter-filled life.

Just the other morning, I was doing my grocery shopping. Oh, how happy I was. Madonna’s “Express Yourself” was playing, and I was pretending that Adam Lambert and I were shopping together and singing along as we slammed our carts into displays of SlimFast.

But when I got to the checkout lane (by which time I had moved on to another fantasy involving Don Draper), there was an old man.

An old man WORKING, as in bagging my groceries. Why is this old man working? Why isn’t he at home, surrounded by rosy-cheeked grandchildren and a faithful lap dog? Why is he my slave? Yes, I can bag my own groceries, but I tend to bristle at that thought. I have a job. I am not above yelling, “We need a bagger at lane 4!” although this has never actually resulted in a bagger showing up.

And I don’t want to insult the old man by pushing him aside to do it myself. Maybe he likes working.

Oh, you KNOW he doesn’t!

My day? Ruined. My Don Draper fantasy? Evaporated.

I hate that old people have to work. Sometimes I like to scare my mom by telling her that she’s going to have to get a job as a hostess at Chili’s. If you think I’m making this up, go to any Chili’s. I guarantee there’s an old lady waiting to seat you. She’s wearing heels even tho she’s on her feet all day. Her back is killing her. She can barely hold those giant menus thanks to arthritis. Enjoy your freaking baby-back ribs.

I’m a hearty eater, but nothing kills my appetite faster than an old person eating alone. Especially an old man. An old man wearing a suit. At McDonald’s. Most likely his wife died and his kids ignore him, but I like to pretend that his wife is a shrew and his kids are jerks. These little outings are his only respite from a miserable life. Aw, heck. There’s no winning with old people.

Are you crying yet?

There is no end to the selfishness of old people. Consider the tattooed old lady or the old man in Speedos. Cruel! When will they stop thinking of themselves? We have to live on this planet, too.

Please, old people. Think of someone else for a change.

Stop being so selfish.

Stop ruining my life.

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67 Comments


67 Responses to “Old People Are Ruining My Life”

  1. 1 Kelly

    how did you get that photo from my honeymoon?!? LOL!

  2. 2 Wendi

    You are hilarious.

    You forgot the old man on the freeway exit holding a sign that says, “WW II vet needs some help.” Dear God, it makes me empty my purse.

  3. 3 Daisy the Curly Cat

    Ah, that made me feel a little bit sad. But do not worry, all the old people will be headed my way soon.

  4. 4 Regan

    I really don’t like old men in speedos. Especially if they have any type of beer belly. One time riding home on the school bus, looking out the window as I normally do, I saw a jiggly, hairy, old guy going outside to sunbathe.

    And I do always feel bad for the old people working at Wal Mart, even though they’ve never greeted me ONCE. But I really hate when old people have to annoy other people, causing these other people to turn in to complete jerks and yell at the old people. It makes me feel bad. :/

    Why can’t old people just sit home and be happy? Because that would make the world a much happier place.

  5. 5 Stephanie B

    Ha! Let ‘em work. I, in fact, work with a number of retired folks and most work more because they want to, miss interactions with other people, like to feel useful, than because it’s that or they’ll be gathering supplies from the dumpster. Of course, I’m working with engineers so they may not be typical.

    I do think you can be happy doing most jobs if you have the right outlook and most older people I meet working seem to be happy.

    On the other hand, I don’t daydream about Don Draper, so that might also skew my perceptions.

  6. 6 Grace

    Ah, yes Adam Lambert, dishy no matter what HIS choices might be and Yes, Yes, YES to Don Draper – oh my!

    As to old folks, I am considered an old folk and I would love to be working. I have been unemployed for a year now and I hate it. I like being useful; I like getting all dressed up; I like being around people; and it is a total waste of my life to have acquired all this knowledge and these skills and have no where to use them. Some of us keep learning. Some of us LIKE to work…

  7. 7 Bingo

    Old people make me think many things, it’s so sad thinking about in the old age because many people are alone and sad but there are old people who enjoy a lot and they are happy so I think it’s matter of attitude.

  8. 8 absepa

    At the grocery store where we used to shop, there was an elderly Hispanic man who was a bagger. He was probably about 4’10″ and 90 pounds, and looked to be around 75, but he would always offer to haul my groceries out to the car. It made me feel terrible! Even if he was working because he wanted to, he shouldn’t have had to lug around heavy bags for perfectly healthy, (relatively) young people like me. I just wanted to give him a hug.

  9. 9 Steve

    I think it’s the fact that the old person is working at unskilled labor when they have such a wealth of experience in -something-. They should be consultants or professional storytellers or managers or something.
    I’m glad you are taking care of all the feeling bad for us. It’s a load off our collective shoulders.

  10. 10 Pricilla

    I am glad the male person goes to work. Otherwise he drives the publicist crazy. A happy publicist is more likely to give me treats.

    So some old people need to work. Or I don’t get treats.

  11. 11 Noelle

    You could probably get a good job as a financial adviser, scaring people into retirement planning. If you want, you can have my job. Although, I’m ready to title a post, “I got a job as a financial adviser so you don’t have to.”

  12. 12 babs - beetle

    It’s too close for comfort with me. I have no answers, just sadness when I think of lonely, elderly people. When I see an elderly man or woman, I always visualize them when they were young, fit and healthy. It always makes me sad.

    I don’t think you can do this one for me JD, though you can try :)

  13. 13 JD

    Kelly: Oh, boy. Please tell me you and your cute new husband spent your honeymoon taking pictures of old men in Speedos.

    Wendi: Thank you. I mean, thank you for putting the image of the homeless vet into my brain, where it will stay for at least an hour and ruin whatever fun I had planned for that time slot. Dang.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: I’m sorry. To be honest, it makes me feel sad too. But also a little bitter. What do you mean, the old people will be headed your way soon?

    Regan: You are so wise for one so young. I’m sorry you were traumatized by the sight of that old man sunbathing. No one should have to live with that. Your insights, as always, are not only wise but hilarious. Those Wal-Mart old people aren’t even greeting you? What the . . . ?

    Stephanie B: Your story warms my heart. I wish more old people could find jobs as engineers as opposed to grocery store baggers, but maybe they had to do some kind of engineering job in their pre-old life. I’d like to believe old working people are happy. It would certainly be less strain on me.

    Grace: Uh oh. I got one mad at me! Seriously, you are not what I consider an old person. I just don’t. And I admire your desire to not just “stay busy” but actually use your talents and gifts, which I’m sure are many. Hey, anyone who likes Adam Lambert and Don Draper can’t be THAT old!

    Bingo: Yes, it really all depends on the old person. I only like to think about happy old people, because sad old people, as I may have said, ruin my life.

    absepa: Aw! Your old man story is so touching. I agree: manual labor is going a step too far. Bagging groceries is hard enough work, I would think—hard on your back, being on your feet. Oh, great. I feel a ruined day coming on.

    Steve: Normally I’m happy to help out, but this one is kind of tough. I do agree: old people are being wasted. Have you seen the movie Soylent Green? I’M KIDDING! No, seriously, it’d be great if old people could find interesting, EASY jobs that made the most of their knowledge and experience. Something easy on the back. My back always hurts when I see an old person working.

    Pricilla: In your case, it’s VERY important that your publicist does NOT work. Tho it sounds to me like she actually works rather hard. All those treats take a toll, you know.

    Noelle: Now that’s a post I’d read! Not that I haven’t read other posts on your blog and thoroughly enjoyed them. There are probably some old people who would benefit from a good scaring. It keeps the blood healthy, I think.

    babs – beetle: Oh, I knew SOMEONE would make me feel guilty. Of course you’re absolutely right, and you express your feelings far more eloquently than my cold, black heart would ever allow. sobs

  14. 14 Barb - WillThink4Wine

    My parents love keeping busy. My Dad is going to be 81 in December and he is always looking for something to do. He does all my yard work and odd jobs around the house.

    My mother will be 75 in October. She quit her job when we moved to Georgia 3 years ago. She was a caregiver and companion to a little old lady in her 80′s who was house bound. My mother would take her to all her doctor’s visits and grocery shopping and fix her meals. Mostly, my mother was just someone to talk to and spend time with for her. She really misses her job terribly, but there isn’t a facility like that near us who is hiring.

    I say hire them and let them feel useful and that they are making a difference.

  15. 15 babs - beetle

    JD, you can always rely on me ;)

  16. 16 kathcom

    I feel the same way when I see old men delivering for delis in New York City. First of all, there’s no way for an old person to earn enough money doing that to live in the city, even on cat food. I wish there were some farm upstate where we could bus them and they could run and play.

    Now you’ve associated Jon Hamm in my mind with sad old people. Thanks a lot, JD.

  17. 17 C.B. Jones

    When I get old and wrinkly, I plan on never wearing a shirt out in public. I wish to bless the world with the saggy man boobs of justice! Muhaahahahgaagawawah!

  18. 18 Rick @ Tamrac Camera Cases

    I hope you’ll remember what you wrote when you’re gumming your Big Mac alone at the roadside Mickey Ds.

  19. 19 Natural

    that poor old man was working cuz he spent all his money taking care of his kids and he has nothing left. poor baby.

    i feel so sad when i see old people working in stores, with their cute little orthopedic shoes on, smelling like ben-gay. awh, yeah i’m crying.

    i don’t want to be old and working at walmart or any place for that matter.

    awh, poor elderly people. we have to take care of them. well i mean i’ll take care of mine…

  20. 20 Daisy the Curly Cat

    Oh, haven’t you heard of “snowbirds”? They are all the retired people who head to south Florida when the weather where they live gets cold, and they stay here until the warm weather arrives again. You can always tell when it’s snowbird season because of the population increase.

  21. 21 Anne

    You know Eskimos set old people adrift on an iceberg (I’m just sayin’) :).

  22. 22 JD

    Barb – WillThink4Wine: Oh! Your parents sound so sweet. I guess I forget that just because I’m lazy and want to retire NOW that not everyone feels that way. I hope all old people who work do so because they want to. The ones who make me sad are the ones I suspect HAVE to.

    babs – beetle: What would I do without you?!

    kathcom: An old people’s farm. Brilliant. Who is going to invent this? I’m sorry about Jon Hamm. He should be associated only with tailored suits, Scotch, and inscrutable smirks. sigh

    C.B. Jones: NO! Think of the children! It’s not even an issue of justice; it’s just WRONG. You’re keeping your pants on, tho, right?

    Rick & Tamrac Camera Cases: You seem a little spammy, but I didn’t want to delete your comment. I only HOPE I can afford McDonald’s when I’m an old lady. Also, I plan on losing my memory but keeping my teeth.

    Natural: Yeah, I’ll take care of mine, too. No Chili’s job for my mom. You know, I smell like Ben-Gay. I guess there’s some sort of message in that.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: OH, of course. I get it now. Thank you for explaining that. I thought maybe you were having some sort of party.

    Anne: That’s actually a very noble way to go, I would think. I wonder what my mom would say about that as opposed to a job at Chili’s.

  23. 23 Kathryn

    Well. That was quite the rant, missy. I can just picture you….driving home in the car….fuming and getting all uppity and thinking of all the times these people keep ruining your perfectly good (insert delectable supermarket fantasy here).
    Wel. The speedo thing? I’m down with that. Maybe they’re wearing the same swimsuit from the ’70′s, when they were “in”. You know old ppl don’t like to throw things away…”still perfectly good”.
    Thing is: in my 20′s, I could ignore them. In my 30′s, I was too busy to even notice ‘em. But now in my 40′s? I’m all too aware that I’ll be turning into one of them.
    Table for four?
    Shall I supersize that??

  24. 24 Your Daily Cute

    Haaaaa! I worked at Chili’s for 9 years, all through college and some beyond. So, so true about the hostesses!

    You crack me up.

  25. 25 Regan

    Nope, they never had. Maybe they detect people who actually aren’t fans of Wal Mart taking over the world? They’re probably robots that detect that sort of thing. They make them old people because really, no one can hate an old person working at Wal Mart.

    One time I went the guy was just carrying on a conversation with some random lady. They’ve never “Thank you for shopping at Wal Mart!’ either.

  26. 26 SiteInsights

    Here’s the thing… Sure I feel just as bad for the chronologically challenged as the next guy. That is… I feel bad until the old lady with blue hair keeps catching the heel of my foot with her shopping cart as she pushes me forward in line, presumably to get all 57 cans of cat food (which in her mind counts as one item) on the conveyor belt of the 15 items or less line before someone calls her out on it, while mumbling under her breath how rude everyone around her is. At that point… All bets are off!

  27. 27 Chunks of Reality

    I found you had dropped on my site at Entrecard and I am so glad to have visited. I love, LOVE your site. Your writing is wonderful and I am just pleased as punch to be here. :)

  28. 28 Amy

    OMG this is so true… someone had to say it.

  29. 29 Muskrat

    This reminds me of the commercial for McDonald’s in the ’80s that came on where the old guy took a job at McD’s, and all the highschool-aged kids heard a “new guy” was coming, and one of the girls said, “I hope he’s cute,” and then he showed up all old and wrinkly and clueless. But then he started helping customers and being nice and polite, and the other kids liked him, and he gave them stupid advice on being a good citizen or some shit, and when he got home, his wrinkled old wife asked how his day was, and he said, “I don’t know how they ever got along without me” or some such lameness. I’ll bet it’s on YouTube. I remember thinking, even as a 10-year-old whose cartoons were being interrupted for this crap: “What kind of loser spends his golden years peddling trans fat? I’ll bet he pissed away his savings on drugs or gambling.” And you know what? I still believe that. Role model? My ass.

  30. 30 Muskrat

    Okay, I found it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEO_EDQBZF0

    Go to 4:10 to see it. I’m amazed at how well I remembered it. Probably b/c it scared the shit out of me to see such a loser on TV. Hence my doctorate.

  31. 31 DrowseyMonkey

    LOL – too funny.

    I hate when I go to Walmart and the cart guy is old ’cause it ruins my usual crankiness – I have to be nice, ya know, cause he’s old. I have to be respectful. So annoying. So I hear ya

  32. 32 Kathy

    For the record, I get “How are you”d to death at Wal-mart.

    Also for the record, old people who are too frail to do much don’t seem to mind when other old people are their slaves. Case in point. My 84 year old father took it upon himself to deliver all the newspapers to the tenants in his apartment building (people are supposed to pick them up from the pile at the front door). He did that for quite a while and the tenants got too used to it. When he finally had to stop (papers are heavy!) they all got cranky about it. I say they should have paid him.

    p.s. Don Draper is delicious.

  33. 33 Ungirdled Passion

    I LOVE me some Don Draper. But I also hate him. But I LOVE him… now I know how Betty feels. (While Don Draper literally knows how EVERY woman around town feels!)

    I try to avoid my Kroger on Senior Citizen Discount day, but I realize I am going to be one of dem folks sooner than I like. Will we really be like that?

  34. 34 Maureen

    Ah, but the REAL problem isn’t the old people AT work.

    It’s the old people GETTING to work. Old men in hats / old ladies with blue hair…. get outta their way!!!!

    I swear we need laws to do driver testing every five years after the age of 65…

    at least until I get that old. ;)

    And yes, yes, yes, on Adam. Yummy.

  35. 35 JD

    Kathryn: Yeah, I think it’s that uncomfortable awareness that has me so agitated. I do NOT want to be a bagger at Jewel in another 25 years. Or now. I mean, nothing against baggers, but all that time on your feet. All the jobs for old people seem to involve being on your feet. As for the 35-year-old Speedo, OK, I can see if they’re being frugal. But how much does a baggy pair of trunks cost? Maybe we can start up a collection.

    Your Daily Cute: Oh, that’s funny! I had a feeling it was going on at every Chili’s. I’ll tell you what, though: those hostesses are topnotch at their jobs. I’m serious. Give me a 70-year-old hostess over a teenager any day. I know I’m getting a good table.

    Regan: Wow. Once again, I’m astonished by your insights. YES! The old people are robots! What a happier way to look at the situation. Of COURSE! Thank you. I’ll sleep much better tonight.

    SiteInsights: You say this lady had blue hair . . . and was buying a bunch of catfood . . . and mumbling . . . Hmmm. Never mind! Yes. I agree. Old people had better be able to defend themselves in situations like this. I once stepped down HARD on an old lady’s foot because she was too close to me in line. We can’t let them take advantage of us.

    Chunks of Reality: Hi! And welcome! I’m pleased too! I know your blog from EC, too, and I admire the hell out of you for being so open and sharing so much. I’m so glad you stopped by, and I hope you’ll settle in. We’re a pretty nice bunch here (despite all the complaining about old people).

    Amy: Yes, someone had to say it, but I kinda wish now it hadn’t been me. My mom is gonna be pretty mad.

    Muskrat: Oh, man. I’m dying just reading your description. I think I remember that, even tho I am an old lady compared to you. Hang on . . . checking out the video . . . Ohhhhh. Um. Yeah. So realistic. I love the way his buddies are agog that he’s heading to work instead of fishing. I’d be agog, too. WORK? Geez, Harry, we’ve worked for 50 years. Sucker. Oh, and thanks for sharing that. Now I’m going to be watching 80s commercials all day.

    DrowseyMonkey: Sing it, sistah. Some of us just want to get through our crabby day without being reminded of nice old people. Happy or crabby—can’t these old people leave us alone?!

    Kathy: Aw. Your dad is so nice. I agree: those mean old people should’ve paid him or at least been grateful. Everyone, beware the frail old people! They WILL suck you dry. (Isn’t it nice to know that Don Draper will never get old?)

    Ungirdled Passion: Yes, any relationship with Don Draper is going to be complicated. That’s what we love/hate about him. I dunno. My mom is technically old at 74, but she truly does not seem old at all. And I don’t think it’s me. She says all the “old people” in her rehab class hate her because she’s young-looking and is extremely fit and active. I hope I’ll be THAT kind of old person.

    Maureen: . . . Adam. Oh! Sorry. Yes, you’re RIGHT! Did you watch the video linked to in Muskrat’s comment above? Old people may ONLY work if they can walk there. And if you must drive, old people? Please, at least sit on a stack of phonebooks so you can see over the steering wheel. We won’t laugh. Much.

  36. 36 Jen

    It is the old people, usually women in big hats and blue hair, who refuse to use their turn signal that get me. I realize that they cannot see over the dashboard and that they may not know they are actually making a turn but still.

    Sorry, I should have read the previous comment before I made mine. As for “greeters” in the stores, this is why I cannot shop at Wal*Mart. Target has a cashier who is not really old but should be. It takes her ten minutes to scan one item and then she has to make a comment about it. I seem to always end up in her line.

  37. 37 Prefers Her Fantasy Life

    Life is hard enough without those old coots reminding us of what lies ahead.

  38. 38 David

    My parents, both in their sixties, essentially work for me as slaves, and I intend to sweat them until they are bloodless shells of their former selves who drop at their desks whilst I sit back with my feet up on my desk, counting my money.

    So, you know. Not all old people are bad.

  39. 39 Winter

    Seriously, bagging groceries is better than having them work in Congress. Or in the Senate.

  40. 40 Puglette

    oh, dear…i like old people. they seem to like me too. i guess it’s because my parents were in their mid 40′s when i showed up. my dad was an old guy and i just loved him. whenever i see an old man, i just want to help him.

    at charlie’s agility trials most of the people there are older women. they are hysterical. they are so nice and friendly. it’s the women my age that are the old cranks!

    i guess i have no snark for older folks, i just love them.
    …and you too.
    hugs,
    puglette
    :o)

  41. 41 Jenn Thorson

    I was experiencing Elderly Person Social Delay Syndrome at the grocery store just now.

    I’m always left not exactly knowing what to do. I get behind an elderly person making their way into the store. I only get a half-hour to pick up my salad bar and eat it, so I don’t have a lot of time. I WANT to zip in and zip out…

    But see, I’m torn. I don’t want to be rude, zip around, and scare nice Mr. Jones and Mr. Smith half to death, as they have an in-depth conversation there with their double-wide shopping carts creeping into the store. But they get kind of… involved. And sometimes they park randomly in the middle of everything.

    So I wait. And I find myself slowing way down and trying to give them berth, so it’s not like I’m some weird chick trying to listen to their conversation.

    But it’s like a slow-speed chase. Like OJ Simpson in the white bronco. It takes forever.

  42. 42 Grace

    Like they say – I may be old but I ain’t dead -

  43. 43 JD

    Jen: ” . . . who is not really old but should be.” HA! Well, obviously these old people drivers are a big problem, if more than one person here has complained. There’s no excuse not to use your turn signal. Old people are notoriously stubborn. I remember my great-aunt refusing to use her seatbelt. “I’ll just hold it over me,” she said. Yeah, that’ll protect you from hurtling head-first thru the windshield.

    Prefers Her Fantasy Life: Right! We have enough problems without having to burst into tears because an old person is bagging our groceries or getting our McDonald’s order wrong!

    David: I like the way you’ve taken this dark cloud and found the silver lining. Your parents must be so proud of you.

    Winter: You make an excellent point. I guess they can’t do too much harm at the grocery store, beyond smashing the tomatoes or crushing the eggs.

    Puglette: Aw, Puglette! This post was not meant for you. You are far too sweet and kind to get drawn into this discussion! And I know you’re not the only one (BABS) who doesn’t find the snark funny, and that’s fine. You are a rare one, and I love you too!

    Jenn Thorson: I have a LOT of trouble slowing myself down if I’m behind an older person or ANYone who’s slow. But, yeah, I hate trying to move past them, because you know they’ll take that exact moment to swing their cane or something. I am literally physically incapable of walking slowly. I’d rather just sit down on the ground and wait for them to make some headway.

    Grace: There ya go!

  44. 44 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Old baggers are as bad as young ones. They put the 6-pack of diet coke on TOP of the bread. I prefer my baggers to be middle-aged. They’re compassionate and experienced. Like Don Draper. :)

  45. 45 Tiggy

    When I’m 75 I’m going to get a job at Hooters. Oh yes I am.

  46. 46 Lin

    Rats, I thought you were gonna be all mean on seniors here. Sigh. And I love hating on seniors too, so I’m bummed.

    I was hoping for a “don’t pull on the jowls of your face while you work out at my rec center” post (true story) or a “could you please change and launder your workout wear every so often, old lady” (true story) or a “hey, old dude–could you not fart on the treadmill next to me” (true story).

    Or how about a ban on seniors driving to McDonald’s for breakfast during rush hour. Or maybe they should drive cardboard cars that don’t “malfunction” and run over scores of innocent people.

    See? I’ve got lots of things to hate on seniors for. Your “hating” is kinda nice in comparison. Sigh.

  47. 47 dcr

    I’ve never seen an elderly woman as a hostess at Chili’s. Unless you consider 22 old. I mean, heck, they’ve been able to drink for a WHOLE YEAR. Geez, those 22 year-olds are as ancient as all get out.

    The thing is, why do retired people have to mow their lawns on weekend mornings? Seriously. They could keep their working schedule and mow on weeknights, like working people. Or, heck, they don’t work, so why can’t they mow on Monday mornings when no one is around? No, they have to mow on weekend mornings. Why, I ask you, why?

  48. 48 MomZombie

    Oh, J.D., I understand your dilemma. On one hand we want to be sensitive to the needs of the elderly. On the other, we want to slap them for taking advantage of our sensitivities. Last week, at Trader Joe’s, an old guy slammed into me and pushed me out of the way to get ahead of me in line. It was quite the spectacle. A few other folks raised their eyebrows and shook their heads when I looked around for validation. What am I going to do? Push him back? I calmed my nerves by thinking: His Depends are leaking and he needs to get out of the store ASAP. I don’t really want to believe someone’s grandpa is a royal a—-hole.

  49. 49 Tracy

    You are too funny!

  50. 50 JD

    Margaret (Nanny Goats: Mmmm. Now the perfect scenario would be to have Don Draper bag my groceries. Naked. “Why, yes, I DO need help out to the car, thank you!”

    Tiggy: And that I will pay to see. Hell, I’ll even order some chicken wings for a ringside seat.

    Lin: Hmmm. Sounds like somebody’s got her own old people rant-post. Although truthfully I could’ve also written about all of those things. Why don’t they have a separate workout area for the old people? I love your idea of cardboard cars. How many needless deaths would be prevented? (Seriously)

    dcr: Those old people mowing on weekend mornings? They’re totally doing it to bug the rest of us. To flaunt the fact that weekend/weekday . . . doesn’t matter to THEM; they’re retired! Oh, it’s Sunday, 6AM? Doesn’t bother ME, I’m old and plan on taking a nap for the rest of the day. Oh, they are devious, aren’t they.

    MomZombie: Well, at least you got the validation you sought (in the form of raised eyebrows, if not in actual shouting and pushing). Boy, you’re more patient than I would have been. But I’ll try to remember that Depends scenario. It might keep me from doing some real harm one of these days.

    Tracy: Oh, thank you. You’re probably not an old person, are you?

  51. 51 Ann's Rants

    ESPECIALLY the homeless ones. What the hell?

    (cracking up at you and Adam Lambert crashing your carts into Kirsti Alley)

  52. 52 Will

    Funny post, but it does make you think. Unfortunately if we are lucky we will all be old someday. Hopefully not in Speedos, though! Those little wrinkled old ladies with tattoos were once young wild things with tramp stamps. The interesting thing is that if you get to know very old people, the thing they all say is that they feel like the same person they were years ago, just trapped in an aging body. That is sad, and scary. So many people older than 65 have to work. It is amazing to me that so many can do it with a smile on their face.

    @MomZombie – How many people have you met that are young and “royal …”? If you run into the same people I do, too many for sure. Most of them will be old someday and still be jerks.

  53. 53 JD

    Ann’s Rants: I KNOW you’ve fantasized about Adam Lambert, too. And not in that way but rather the fun, let’s-be-zany-retards-in-public way. I know it! Oh, don’t even get me started on the homeless old people. I can’t even deal. goes back to Adam Lambert and the unicorn we’re riding together

    Will: Well said. I kind of already feel like an old person trapped in a (somewhat) younger body, thanks to some structural issues, so maybe it won’t all be such a shock. I just hate it that people who SHOULD be retired are working. I’d like to believe it’s because they want to, but . . . McDonald’s? Grocery bagging?

  54. 54 Jac

    I saw a 1,000 year old couple eating at Dennys. Nevermind that I was there alone, I had the comfort of my laptop to make me look less miserable. But the elderly couple didn’t speak to eachother through out the whole meal and it made me more sad than if one had been there alone.

    Super long marriages look boring.

  55. 55 Koolmotor

    I like old people better than young people.

  56. 56 JD

    Jac: Oh, man. Thanks for ruining my evening. A thousand-year-old silent couple? The absolute worst. The least you could’ve done is given them your laptop so they’d have something to do.

    Koolmotor: I guess that’s a natural way to feel when you yourself are among the “oldest of old.”

  57. 57 foolery

    And here I was thinking I wish I looked that good in MY swimwear.

  58. 58 JD

    foolery: Don’t be fooled. It’s all in the jaunty hat. Get yourself a jaunty hat, and you’ll be stylin’.

  59. 59 Kirk

    man i’d hate to see what you ‘witnessed’ at the grocery lane in person.. where’d you shop for your groceries that time? because i’m not going there… *sob*

    truly enjoyed reading your posts! more power and keep doing things so we don’t have to…

  60. 60 JD

    Kirk: Thank you! It’s my pleasure . . . sometimes. OK, just avoid the Jewel grocery store in Skokie, IL, on Touhy. But you can’t be too careful. Avoid all grocery stores. Just in case.

  61. 61 Jill

    I blame the economy for old people having to work. It makes me sad that after all the years they put into working and making a living, that they now have to work. :(

    Love your blog, though!
    .-= Jill´s last blog ..Not Me! Monday =-.

  62. 62 JD

    Jill: Why, thank you! It makes me sad, too. And sadness ruins my day. I guess I should really be blaming the government, not these poor old people.

  63. 63 Greg Lawrence

    I honestly hope you all die (those of you who agree with them). I’m 12. YOU are selfish. They spent their entire lives working. And you are going to attack them for working now, enjoying what’s left of their life, or them just having normal human fun? You’re saying that you don’t want to help WWII veterans who worked in spite of having been killed, themselves for AMERICA? For religious FREEDOM? You can all go get your asses blown up in fucking somalia, Iraq, Afghan, whatever. But come back here, and let me laugh at you. And the old women, suffering from Alzhiemer’s? You going to insult them too? Wait ’till you grow up. You’ll know how it feels, and you’ll regret all of this. Ignorant bastards.

  64. 64 JD

    Whoa! That’s a lot of anger and bitterness for a twelve-year-old. I suggest you come back in a few years when you’ve developed a sense of humor and understand the concept of sarcasm. Thanks for the comment!

  65. 65 Bababoom

    Nice post.

    I definitely agree with you. Seeing old people working certain jobs truly breaks my heart. I am (or was) a bagger at a grocery store for a while. There was this elderly woman named Maime, working along side me for the day (she was from a different location). She was so frail and small, and quiet. Imagine working in a place surrounded by teenagers. A group of us were talking and she was standing there. I felt so bad because people were ignoring her and she must have felt so out of place. So I struck up a conversation with her for a while. Then later on I saw that a costumer had had the nerve to ask her for help out to her car. So there was this little old lady pushing out a cart taller that her, heaped with groceries. I was busy at the moment or I might have offered to take it (but then again I didn’t want to insult her or anything). But if I were a capable customer I would have NEVER thought of asking her for help out. Finally my boss was letting people go home early and asked Maime first. She declined and I remember thinking how she probably needed that extra hour to pay bills and stuff. So then he asked me and I said sure, which felt bad for later on.

    But anyway sorry for that long story, but I thought it definitely related to your post. I just hope Maime has a caring and loving family, and isnt lonely or anything. It’s amazing how I still think about her every now and again.

  66. 66 JD

    Bababoom: Thanks so much for sharing your story, even tho it broke my heart. There are way too many “Maimes” out there. It’s just not right. We should be taking care of our old people better than this. I know some elderly folks choose to work, but who would choose to work as a bagger at a supermarket? It sounds like Maime really touched you. Bless your kind heart.

  67. 67 Eboli

    You will all be headed that way soon and you will then see how hurtful most of your comments are. Let everyone do what they have to and look like they want. Unless it is hurting you then why do you care. I am elderly and I need to work until the day I am dead unless I want to live on the street or eat cat food. I truly pray that none of you are ever in that position. Please do not look at elderly workers with contempt or disgust look at them and have a feeling of pride for them. Proud to be a contributing member to society. So many young ones are not. And as for what they wear to the beach or int heir own yard. Who cares ?


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