Happy she and happy he
They’re both as happy as can be

You read that right.

Twenty (20) years of monogamy. “Monogamy” translates to “sex with the same person for the rest of your life.” This was a difficult concept for me, back in my wild youth. But I’m happy to say that everything has worked out terrifically in that department (ifyouknowwhatImean), and altho my eye may have strayed a time or two over the last 20 years, no other body parts did.

Today Dave and I will celebrate by spending the day together. This may not sound like much to YOU, but with our conflicting schedules and Dave’s recent crazy workload, it is the best anniversary gift I could wish for. If you’re anywhere in downtown Chicago today, we will be the ones running wildly along Michigan Avenue, laughing at everyone who has to work, and generally acting like idiots.

Idiots in love.

For yes, you must’ve guessed by now that, despite the constant teasing, the embarrassing photos, and the bitterness over lack of birthday cake, I love Dave very, very much.

And does he love me? Oh, you KNOW he does. (Don’t ever question me like that again.)

But enough of this jibber-jabber. My feelings about Dave and our 20 years together is best expressed not in words but in this special drawing that I keep on my desk:


I hope you all enjoy celebrating our 20 years of married blissitude.


Flintstones came from here

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85 Responses to “I’ve Been Married for 20 Years”

  1. 1 Susan

    That picture confirms what I’ve always thought guys at nudist resorts look like. (Also confirms why you’ve stuck with him for 20 years.)

    Happy happy happy anniversary!
    .-= Susan´s last blog ..Ruby Lee =-.

  2. 2 Barb at WillThink4Wine

    Happy Anniversary! <– that's a different one than I gave you on facebook.

    Loved the Flintstones clip. I haven't seen them in years!
    .-= Barb at WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..And then there were 5 =-.

  3. 3 Lola

    Congratulations! May you celebrate many more happy years together.

  4. 4 TamingInsanity

    If I see you run by me laughing at me while I work, I'll give you a pass on your anniversary. If the giddyness extends to tomorrow though, watch out.

  5. 5 The Incredible Woody

    Happy Anniversary!!

    I love having you as an anniversary twin. Vol Fan and I will be celebrating our 20th this evening over fajitas and margaritas!

  6. 6 Grace

    Congratulations and many more happy years together!

  7. 7 dcr

    Congrats and happy anniversary.

    So, you keep stick figure porn on your desk? That's a new one…

  8. 8 Amy

    Are those you boobs up there above your shoulders?? Dave IS a lucky man =)

    Happy anniversary!!

  9. 9 Shelly Overlook

    Happy Anniversary! 20 years is totally impressive.

  10. 10 Shelly Overlook

    Happy Anniversary! 20 years is impressive. That's a long time to have sex with only one other person. But totally worth it.

  11. 11 Linda R.

    Congratulations on your 20 years together. We celebrated our 23rd back in April.

  12. 12 Ron

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY you two love birds!!!

    ((( JD + Dave )))

    LOVE the photo on your desk! Hope you're having a great day!

  13. 13 puglette

    happy anniversary, my friend! your day sounds like the best way to celebrate to me. we're almost to 19 years, and i couldn't imagine anything else.
    have a wonderful time!

  14. 14 flit

    Happy Anniversary!

    But I do hope you don't mind if some of us aim to do that 20 years for our own selves, also :)

  15. 15 Pricilla

    Happy Anniversary!
    The 20ieth was the last time the male person did anything decent for the publicist – he took her to Hawaii. It's been all fifthwheels, goats and chickens for the last 8 years. She is, to be honest, very scared about what he is going to get her for their 30ieth as he keeps mumbling about turkeys and ducks and guinea hens.

    Can she come live with you and Dave?

  16. 16 seafoodpunch

    hehe. cute. I can only hope to have a successful marriage one day. but unfortunately, most of the guys I date have straying body parts. i love that little picture of you guys. it looks like you have to keep your distance from the guy though, out of fear of getting stabbed.

  17. 17 meleahrebeccah

    Aw! Happy 20th Anniversary!

  18. 18 iannieam

    Happy Anniversary. Enjoy the day. I wish I would have known you were going to do this for me so I didn't have to, it could have saved me from being married to my first husband for 22 years…lol

  19. 19 Jenn of Many Cabbages

    Congrats, JD and Dave! Hope it's a special day!

  20. 20 Christopher Johnson

    Happy Anniversary! I thought I heard some wild screaming when I was out to lunch. That picture on your desk is too funny.

  21. 21 babs (beetle)

    Oh wow! Congratulations! Have a wonderful day of fun and frolicking.

  22. 22 buggys

    Congratulations to both of you! 20 years together is something to be very happy about. I love the sweet, romantic picture of you & Dave!

  23. 23 GoingLikeSixty

    Pretty damn rare! 20 years of marriage. This is a big deal. Best wishes for another 20 more – if that's what you really really want. :)

  24. 24 CatLadyLarew

    Congrats on your twenty years of wedded bliss! May your next twenty be just as much fun!

  25. 25 absepa

    Awww, so sweet. Congratulations to you and Dave!

  26. 26 junkdrawer

    Congratulations to you love birds. I love the picture on your desk. Your boob necklace and Dave's …. er…. Dave's …. um …. Dave's adornment are the perfect touch!

  27. 27 stephanieebarr

    You may have done it FIRST, but I'm planning to do it TOO.


  28. 28 Lin

    I hope you two aren't running around Michigan Avenue naked because that would be scary to other folks. And I hope Dave isn't like his drawing walking around there either.

    Happy Anniversary, pally!! WOWIE–20 years!! That is GREAT. :) Hey, we almost have the same anniversary–ours is Friday.

  29. 29 Sparkle

    Happy anniversary! 20 years – that is a lot! Do you know how long that is in cat years? Like, 100!

  30. 30 MomZombie

    Happy anniversary JD and Dave! Glad it worked out for you (wink, wink) and that you can still run around like idiots in love. (Thanks, too, for changing your background color so I can read the comments.)

  31. 31 daisythecurlycat

    Happy Anniversary! It is so sweet how in your drawing, you two are walking a breast, er, abreast of each other.

  32. 32 sheilasultani

    20 years! Happy Anniversary! He must be doing something right.

  33. 33 JD at I Do Things

    Thank you SO MUCH, everybody. Dave and I really appreciate all the good wishes.

  34. 34 JD at I Do Things

    Hee! Thanks for noticing that, Daisy!

  35. 35 JD at I Do Things

    You're very welcome. I'm glad it helps. Should've done it months ago.

  36. 36 JD at I Do Things

    Wow! No wonder our cats look so impressed!

  37. 37 JD at I Do Things

    Unfortunately, it was too cold to run around naked yesterday.

    Happy Anniversary to YOU, a day early!

  38. 38 JD at I Do Things

    I know you will! And I will celebrate right along with you!

  39. 39 JD at I Do Things

    You're so jealous of my boob necklace . . . just admit it!

  40. 40 redheadranting

    Happy Anniversary! 20 years is amazing, that's like 100 years in dog years of something.

  41. 41 JD at I Do Things

    We are rather pleased with ourselves. Yes, I think I'd like another 20 years, as long as my boobs stay as high as they are in the drawing.

  42. 42 JD at I Do Things

    Sigh. It IS romantic, isn't it?

  43. 43 JD at I Do Things

    Yes, that was us screaming! Maybe we were screaming because it was so cold.

  44. 44 JD at I Do Things

    I'm sorry my “I Do Things” things don't work retroactively. Twenty-two years . . . wow! I hope you're happier now?

  45. 45 JD at I Do Things

    Getting stabbed is the best part!

  46. 46 JD at I Do Things

    The publicist is more than welcome! Although with Hawaii as a 20th anniversary gift, I predict great things for the 30th.

  47. 47 JD at I Do Things

    This is one thing I recommend anyone who wants to do: to do it!

  48. 48 JD at I Do Things

    Thank you, sweet Puglette! And congrats on your almost-19 years. So awesome!

  49. 49 JD at I Do Things

    Don't worry. The giddiness is over. Back to work. Boo.

  50. 50 JD at I Do Things

    Wow, congratulations!!!! Drink a margarita for me, will ya?

  51. 51 JD at I Do Things

    Thank you, Grace!

  52. 52 JD at I Do Things

    Well, if I could draw actual people, I would.

  53. 53 JD at I Do Things

    Yeah . . . I don't think I quite got the anatomy right (at least not on my stick figure).

  54. 54 JD at I Do Things

    It has definitely been totally worth it.

  55. 55 JD at I Do Things

    Congratulations, Linda!

  56. 56 JD at I Do Things

    Thanks, Ron. I can't wait to celebrate OUR first anniversary as girlfriend-gay boyfriend.

  57. 57 Margaret (nannygoats)

    Man, I feel like such a loser. I've only been married for 10 years. And I don't have a boob necklace. Did you get that for your 15th anniversary or something?

  58. 58 JD at I Do Things

    Actually, I got it at 10, so . . . you may need to make some inquiries.

  59. 59 Maureen K

    Yep, it's obvious that Dave is very excited to be holding your hand…. and CONGRATS!! 20 years is quite the achievement nowadays. I should know; we'll be celebrating 30 (oh gad…) in June. Hope you had a great day.

  60. 60 Patricious Delicious

    Congratulations, that's wonderful news! Wow, twenty years is…wow, twenty years and the spark is still there, just look at Dave's side of the picture!

    My fifth anniversary is this coming 21st. 'Marry in May, Rue the Day' was what I heard constantly, but you know what I rue? I rue paying more for everything just because the calendar turned and it's June.

    I used to work at a wedding shop…wait, hold on, my bridal shop PTSD is kicking in…I'll have to save those for another time…breath, Patricia, breath…

    I'm a little concerned about the artwork on your desk. It's a good thing you work at home, as if you were working in an office you'd be sent for a trip to human resources, the guidance counselor of work. And don't think that there may be a time when either Gus or Pru will turn you in…

    I have one more question: Did you have a cake at your wedding? Or did you pay someone to shape some ambrosia into a cake-like mold?


    P.S. You and Heidi Montag Pratt (Gosh, could that couple have a more descriptive last name?) must have the same plastic surgeon–wooo weee those are some breasts, lady!

  61. 61 lauresal

    Congratulations! I can't think of a better anniversary gift than what you've written. Very cool picture. Dave appears to be casting a shadow. Is that a flotation device around your neck?

  62. 62 JD at I Do Things

    Well, wouldn't YOU be excited to hold my stick-hand?

    Congrats to you on your upcoming THIRTIETH!!! Wow, now that really IS something.

  63. 63 JD at I Do Things

    I never said I could draw boobs . . . or, apparently, appendages. Perhaps if I had a bigger canvas?

  64. 64 JD at I Do Things

    I can assure you that altho my breasts are still QUITE perky, they are a very respectable . . . well, I don't even know what size they are because I never wear a bra, but they are not anywhere near poor Heidi's “F's.” Gah. And yes, we did have delicious lemon cake at our wedding, but that must've been before Dave's Cake Hatred kicked in or perhaps he was just being polite.

    So far I haven't rued the day, but if any more of these cake shenanigans occur, there will be some serious ruing.

  65. 65 Patricious Delicious

    I'm in awe that there is a LAW saying how much sillicone you can pop into your chestal area. But, nevermind, there are other countries without those laws…yee haw!
    I was surprised to hear that one of her ten plastic surgeries was 'molding' her back into a 'better position.' As someone whose had several non-elective back surgeries to another person with a bad back–WTF? Why would anyone…<wah wah wah sound like the teacher in Charlie Brown, because everyone totally knows what I'm saying wah wah> I don't know if Spencer Pratt married in May, but you can bet your sweet bippy there is a whole lotta ruing going on right there.
    We ate pound cake with green icing. I will admit to being on klonopin on my wedding day, but I do remember every precious moment, such as maybe telling my new husband that the flower girl was so cute I wanted to kill her. (I assure you, I didn't want to kill her, but rather kidnap her…okay, this is not helping…)
    I used to work at a wedding shoppe, a little boutique place. Every Friday my job was to iron and iron and iron those freakin' gowns, carefully attach them to the special hanger and spread out the train. It took a good two hours minimum. So a bride to be's mother comes in to pick up the dress–but she refuses to take it before *she* tried it on, despite pleadings and rules made up on the spot. So we all just stood there as she tried to squeeze into her daughter's gown. Then I had to iron the sucker again and think about what was up with that lady…

  66. 66 Corrina

    Happy Anniversary! Sorry I'm late. :-) 20 years is amazing… Congratulations!

  67. 67 JD at I Do Things

    Ohhhh, the ruing. Yes, I cringed when I read about the back scooping. Why, god, why?

    I WAS ON KLONOPIN TOO!!!!! At the time (and for years on and off afterward), I suffered terrible panic attacks. Wedding-day nerves seemed like the perfect recipe for such an attack, and I wasn't taking any chances. But I remember everything too, such as my nieces and nephews playing with the light switches during the ceremony. I cannot stand ironing — and WEDDING DRESSES? Oh, man. I hope you got paid a handsome sum for that.

  68. 68 CarissaJaded

    Congratulations!!! 20 YEARS! Uh-Maze-ing!

  69. 69 Patricious Delicious

    How did people get married without this wonder drug?! Oh, right, alcohol.
    I think this should be a DeBeers Cartel marketing scheme: Free prescription for klonopin with purchase of engagement ring.
    I think I got slightly over minimum wage, but I did get a free sweat-lodge experience and clear pours, so it evens out. Those super-huge tuille numbers were 'in' when I was there, so I had to use a steamer on every layer.

  70. 70 muskrat

    hooray! congrats to you two kids.

  71. 71 liggybee

    Congratulations! That is awesome to hear. I think that it helps a lot, too, that you have a great sense of humor. Your spouse probably does, too! Keep that up!

  72. 72 ladyV

    woo hoo! congrats to you and dave. hope you enjoyed your anniversary. and i'm sorry for the way my mind thinks, i am in therapy, but what the heck is that thing jutting from dave in that drawing?

  73. 73 ladyV

    and i'm stay up all night waiting on a reply, so get on it sister. well um get on answering my question, that is.

  74. 74 ladyV

    i'm still here you know……

  75. 75 yourdailycute

    CONGRATULATIONS! 20 years. Wow. Here's to the next 20! :)

  76. 76 JD at I Do Things

    Well, I hope you're not too tired this morning after waiting up all night. If you don't know what that “thing” jutting from Dave is, then I think you need MORE therapy. Thanks for the anniversary wishes, my friend!

  77. 77 meleahrebeccah

    Where are you JD?
    Its been almost a week and no new posts from you!

    *decides to check facebook for clues/updates*

  78. 78 JD at I Do Things

    Aw, thanks for asking! I'm just in kind of a down period right now. Hoping to have something up tomorrow. I've even let my Facebook wither away. BUT I WILL RETURN!

  79. 79 meleahrebeccah

    Okay. I hope your feeling down time passes quickly!

    And, I really hope you are doing better than you were in that video.

  80. 80 cardiogirl

    Congratulations! I was going to ask if you drew that photo that you keep on your desk because there's a pen hanging on the frame.

    Then I was going to comment on that puffy fur stole around your neck, in the drawing. And then I noticed the sword Dave keeps in a holster around his waist.

    And that's when I thought, that's great that he's protecting your assets while you walk in the sun.

    Good thing he's got your back.

  81. 81 JD at I Do Things

    Yes, that's what a good marriage is all about, isn't it?!

  82. 82 JD at I Do Things

    Oh, yes, MUCH better, thanks!

  83. 83 79sparrows

    THANK YOU for doing this for me! It was very comforting to read, and nice to see something positive about marriage for a change.

    And a belated “HAPPY ANNIVERSARY”!
    .-= 79sparrows´s last blog ..Sh*t My Dad Says =-.

  84. 84 JD

    79sparrows: Thank you! I’ll see if I can pull off another 20 years for y’all.

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