It’s just a jab in my vein
Making me scream out in pain again
Image courtesy of D at Seafood Punch!
Oh, how I wish I could describe for you exactly what goes on during a bunionectomy. But for some weird reason, they insist on knocking you out if there’s going to be any bone-sawing, so you’ll have to settle for hearing about my prep.
My story is not for the squeamish.
It starts out great. I feel like I’m at a spa. My lovely nurse Janice helps me up onto the bed, brings me a heated blankie, and plops a pile of magazines in my lap. Then Barb, the other nurse, asks me a bunch of questions, all designed to make sure I’m who I say I am.
“If you ever want to get out of surgery at the last minute,” she confides, “just give the wrong birth date.”
But there’s no need for that. I’m not nervous at all. This is going to be a breeze.
Time for the IV. Here’s a tidbit: I have “good veins.” I’ve been told this over and over. They’re nice and colorful and bulgy. Still, Janice spent a loooong time considering my veins. She tapped, poked, and rubbed. She turned my hand over and over. She prodded, stroked, and pinched. What’s taking so long? Jam it in, Janice! Finally, she chose a vein. In went the needle. A little pinch.
And . . . fail.
That vein wasn’t working. Janice said it was “locked up.” I’m not thrilled with this news, but I have other veins, right? Lots of others! I’m jam-packed with juicy veins, greenish-blue, pulsating, close-to-the surface VEINS!
Janice decides to go get Barb, for her “professional opinion.” Oh, yes, by all means! Let’s get a professional opinion, shall we?
For the next 20 minutes, I lie there, fighting nerves as Janice, Barb, and my arm star in “The Epic Saga of the Search for the Vein.” They are looking at my veins. Talking about my veins. Touching them, poking them, whispering about my veins.
“Oh, but here . . . ?” “No, because see . . .” “Well, then there’s . . . ” “Or you could do . . . ”
All I have to distract me is Patrick Swayze, staring up at me from a People magazine cover. He’s braving pancreatic cancer, so who I am to complain about some stupid vein talk? I’m asked to hang my arm over the side of the bed so the blood will rush to my hand. Janice and Barb are literally kneeling on the floor with my arm between them, their faces inches from my hand.
“But there’s a bifurcation . . .” “And a valve there . . .” “This one’s nice and straight . . .” “But then you’ve got that . . .”
Here’s another tidbit: I’m not afraid of needles. I don’t even mind watching my flesh get jabbed. What I don’t like is thinking about my inner workings—blood, organs, tubes, wires, and, yes, veins. I don’t like thinking about what goes on in there. All this talk of “bifurcations” and “valves” is making me nauseous.
Finally they pick one. In goes the needle. It’s working! But . . . no, it’s not. Same problem as the other one.
“I guess we should have had Dr. Taylor show us that procedure,” says Janice. Barb agrees.
“I think I gave you the wrong birth date,” I say in a quavering voice.
They tell me “anesthesia” will insert the IV and then run off to hide.
Aaaand, here comes Dr. Taylor himself. He is boisterous and hairy. He’s here to show Janice and Barb the proper procedure. On me and my veins.
The vein he chooses is the one on the inside of my wrist, below my thumb joint. He inserts the needle. Nothing to it. We’re all impressed. Dr. Taylor is the man! We watch as he digs the needle down into my vein to secure it and . . .
YOW!!!!!!!!!!!
Damnit!
BLEEEEEEEEP!
And also: %$#@&*$%$#@#!!!!eleven!
Holy crackers, that hurt. But it worked. It’s in. My wrist is throbbing. Maybe it’s heated blanket, but I’m covered in sweat.
Janice says, “I would not have chosen that vein,” to which Dr. Taylor replies, “It’s a last-resort, because of the nerve right next to that bone. That’s why she screamed when I pushed in the needle. But that vein allowed me the best vantage point to show you how to do it.”
I stare at Patrick Swayze to keep from wrapping the IV cord around Dr. Taylor’s hairy neck.
The bunionectomy itself was not nearly so dramatic. It took about an hour—ALMOST as long as the prep—and I got to wake up in time to watch the doctor stitch up my toe. I also woke up with something jammed down my throat—Dr. Taylor strikes again. “You were going ‘urgh urgh urgh urgh,’” he explained, as I clawed at the foreign object in my mouth. “I inserted that to keep you from choking.”
When I was wheeled back to the recovery area, Janice was waiting for me.
“I’m sooo sorry about all the problems with the IV,” she said.
But it’s fine. I look at the three puncture wounds, one on each hand and one on my wrist. Janice removes the IV and carefully places a bandage . . . over a different spot entirely.
Thanks to D from Seafood Punch for the “extra” bunion!
43 Comments
I did not have nearly as much excitement when I had my hysterectomy. I’m pretty sure I’m now going to avoid bunionectomies like the plague… all thanks to you, JD!
Kelly’s last blog post..Small Abstract No. 25
Thank you so much for having a bunionectomy so I wouldn’t have to. Gah! Even the simplest procedures sometimes become so dramatic.
MomZombie’s last blog post..Not quitting my day job
GAW, that thumb/wrist vein sounds freaking painful….I’m okay with getting blood drawn/IV’s in my inner elbow, but even the thought of a needle in my HAND makes my stomach turn. I’m told I’ll probably have to suck it up when I have a baby someday, as that seems to be where they like to put your IV…
Worst vein experience I ever had, I had to get blood tests for hypoglycemia, the kind where you get your blood taken, then you drink some sugary soda stuff, and then you get your blood taken every 1/2 hour for 2 more hours to test your blood sugar levels. 3 of the 5 times getting a needle stuck in me were fine – the other two times, the stupid @#$*#@ nurse stuck the needle in and then DUG around for my vein, rather than taking it out and trying again. She’s lucky she didn’t get my foot in her face.
Angi’s last blog post..Dear IRS
Ooooohhhhhh! I HATE injections! I also hate thinking about the inside workings of my body too! Just do what you have to do but don’t tell me anything about it, pleeeease! You’ve given me the Colly wobbles now ;O)
babs – beetle’s last blog post..And the winners are….
I am very, very scairt of needles. I think when they were looking for the Vein of Last Resort, you should have squinched your eyes tightly shut and pretended to be somewhere else. Anywhere else.
Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..My Toe-tally Awesome Toes!
Gah, that sounds horrible! I have “good veins” too, so they hardly ever have problems finding one–my hands are kind of bony, so the veins are right there. If I end up needing surgery for my shoulder I’ll keep an eye out for IV nurses who don’t seem to know what they’re doing. And hairy, boisterous anesthesiologists.
absepa’s last blog post..Dear Facebook, Please Stop Freaking Me Out
Are you sure this was your bunionectomy and not my last childbirth (Roxy will be 1 on the 11th!)? Oh, it must be because you said the rest was a breeze.
FOUR attempts to insert the IV (not anesthesia, mind you, just the hydration and possible pitocin) in my hand and wrist and I also have excellent veins (and a 4 gallon blood donation pin). I always watch them stick me and I’m not at all squeamish, but this was nightmarish.
Of course, I topped that later (same morning) with an epidural when the anesthesiologist took FIVE attempts to stab me between my vertebrae (which, by the way is way more painful than in the hand) while I was in hard labor (for those contemplating children, each stab=extra hard contraction). In fact so hard, that, BEFORE pain medicine had taken effect (<20 minutes) Roxy made her appearance. And, because I couldn’t lay on my side the prescribe amount of time, I was left with the worst headache in history for six days (bad enough to make me cry when the labor didn’t, bad enough that drilling a hole in my head sounded like a good idea ESPECIALLY if it killed me) that drugs would not touch. Five minutes later, they removed my useless epidural and then, months later CHARGED ME $900 for it (since the anesthesiologist was not on my insurance, a fact no one mentioned at the time).
And it was still worth it for the little darlin’.
Stephanie’s last blog post..More on the Big Picture
ew. I dont know why, but the idea of veins and tendons and all that is just gross. I cant even eat red meat because of all the veins in there. I just have an aversion. It could be because of a traumatic experience i had (apparently everyone did) where my veins were all shriveled up and bending every which way like the guy from the matrix to avoid the needle jabbing is way into my arm over and over again…or an excuse to get the good stuff without the veins and things.
But getting jabbed in the thumb?? that’s just cruel.
D at Seafoodpunch’s last blog post..Quetzalcoatl’s Beans
Don’t you hate it when someone else’s disease steals from your given-right to self pity?
Glad you came through it all right.
Prefers Her Fantasy Life’s last blog post..Thank You Mr. Liberal Unitarian English Teacher of My Tenth Grader
You were so brave- I might have bolted after the first two tries. They always tell me I have “bad” veins, but I have never needed the vein of last resort.
where is the poor bunion?
D at Seafoodpunch’s last blog post..Quetzalcoatl’s Beans
oh dear! jd, i am so sorry that you had all this pain before your surgery! i hope your foot is healing nicely.
i thought i had good veins, but just last week i had blood drawn and the nurse took forever to decide where to jam the needle!
i really hope you are getting some good rest, reading a good book and watching some chick flicks.
Take Care!!
puglette
Puglette’s last blog post..Awards and Certificates!
And that is why I stay away from all things medical – Hope you are recovering nicely..
Grace’s last blog post..Awww Monday
I’d like to enter this post in as a diet. Read it and if you haven’t passed out, then you get to eat.
Side note: I don’t have any experience with men, but I heard that they are not very gentle when it comes to poking you. Just ram bam, thank you ma’am.
Natural’s last blog post..Answer: A River Runs Through It
I hate needles. They are sharp and pointy and they cause pain. Not my thing. Did you get to keep your heated blankie through the whole surgery? I sure hope Janice or Barb didn’t perform it… they could of operated on the wrong foot.
At least Patrick Swayze got to watch you doze off into nothingness for your surgery. I hope you get better soon!!
Oh, do you have any pictures of them stabbing the needle into you? You need to bring your camerca everywhere to take pictures of everything no matter how weird people think you are.
Regan’s last blog post..Girl Scout Cookies
Kelly: I’m sorry your hysterectomy was so boring. Don’t avoid bunionectomies! Just try to avoid the needle-y part.
MomZombie: You’re welcome! I was glad to do it. It’s funny how the drama occurs during the stupidest parts.
Angi: Yup: the hand is the desired IV site. Apparently they only use the inner elbow part for drawing blood. Hmph. Oh, gross. Yeah, it’s the digging part that bothers us, medical people! Stop digging around in there!
babs – beetle: Oh, I’m sorry! But now you’ll have to provide us with a video of someone (Mo???) doing the Colly wobbles.
Daisy the Curly Cat: That’s very good advice. I’ll definitely do that next time. If there is a next time. Thank you, Daisy!
absepa: Yeah, if a nurse takes longer than 3 minutes to find and stick your vein, I’d excuse myself and find another hospital. That just ain’t right!
Stephanie: HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY, ROXY! Holy cow, that sounds awful. And talk about adding insult to (literal) injury. Yikes. Please keep any needle away from my spine. Of course, she was worth it. But I bet you’ll tell her this story when she’s old enough to feel guilty!
D at Seafoodpunch: I don’t like to cook beef or chicken for fear of seeing a vein. I know they’re in there once the meat has been cooked, but then I can’t see them. It WAS cruel. Cruel and unnecessary. Now I want some meat.
Prefers Her Fantasy Life: YES! Thank you. I was feeling resentful, and I couldn’t figure out why. Gosh darn you, Brave Patrick Swayze and your serious, life-threatening disease!
maggie: I’m glad you have so far avoided the vein trauma. I hope this was my first and last time. I really was ready to bolt, but I kept thinking, “this time, it’ll work!”
Puglette: Thank you so much for your good wishes, my dear Puglette! I’m sorry to hear you had a “bad vein” experience. Hopefully we’ll both have only “good vein” stories to tell from now on.
Grace: You are very wise. And, yes, I am recovering nicely. Those holes in my hands may never fully heal, however.
Natural: It was a TOTAL “ram bam” type of situation. Grrr. Dang men. Now. Go fix yourself a nice plate of veiny meat.
Regan: You are so right about bringing my camera along. I wish I’d had it with me that day. But don’t worry: I’m bringing it to my dr’s appointment tomorrow, where hopefully she will unwrap my foot and reveal its gory bruisedness.
Well, thank you for doing that for me so I didn’t have to. My preps usually go okay, apart from the anaesthetist going pale over my kinky tongue. LOL!
Ow-ch! Someone should tell Dr. Taylor to not abuse the teaching aids!
Musing’s last blog post..UPS never fails
I don’t mind getting poked. I’m not squeamish. Dad sewed me up many times at home and I recall having to hold my mother’s toe in place while my dad drove down to the office to get his bag to sew it back in place. I can handle the pain. What I can’t stand is when a nurse can not find a good vein or misses it completely. When I had my fistulotomy/ectomy (I’m not sure what the procedure was called but they were working on my rear end) they could not get the stuff in my vein. They too had to call the doctor in who had no trouble at all taking care of business. The day after my surgery I felt fine but looked like I had been in a very bad accident. Because I am a redhead I bruise very easily. Both my arms were covered in bruises. The butt ugly kind that start out purple and then a month later finally turn yellow before going away. I looked like a really noob heroin user. Not sexy.
Jen’s last blog post..Let the Games Begin
Ooowwwwiiiieeee! That whole thing was just awful–poor you! That whole surgery/i.v. thing is just so overrated, isn’t it? I like the birthday tip–I’m using that next time.
Lin’s last blog post..Blue Slushies and Purple Flax
Ugh, with MS I have to get stuck constantly. Every month I get an IV infusion of medicine and I hate it when I have to get stuck more than once! And I can tell you, as a nurse, that is utter bullshit that they couldn’t find a vein. Patients going into the OR are often dehydrated because of being NPO. There are SO many ways to compensate for that, including the dangling, but also nice warm compresses. Easy peasy.
You made me thing of my eye surgery this summer (yeah, I’ve had the life from shit this year). Not only was I naked under a hospital gown, no makeup, hair covered by an ever-so-attractive cap, but they marked my forehead over the eye to be operated on with a big black ‘X’. With no warning! Just whipped out a marker and branded me. It was all I could do not to pull the blanket over my head I felt so mortified.
Ah well, at least it’s over for both of us. And we get to share humiliating, painful stories that make everybody else laugh. What could be better!! lol
Marie’s last blog post..MS Awareness Week: Diagnosing and Treating MS
That’s some jacked up sh*t right there. Funny thing is that I’m learning all about phlebotomy at my new job. Not that I’ll ever “poke” anyone. I’m not into blood, dude.
MamaNeedsaCosmo’s last blog post..If Ben Were In Charge of Household Organization
JD:
OUCH!!!!!
10 years ago I had a triple Bypass . . so you don´t have to.
I had so many IV´s stuck in me over a three month period and blood drawn many many times. I HATE THAT! I can empathize with you because I had so many wrong veins in all the tests and procedures leading up to the main event.
I was in ICU and they sent in the janitor to take my blood. I screamed in pain so loud that all the nurses came running. The guy was so humiliated that he came back when his shift was over and apologized.
But there was one Angel came into the room after the Bypass operation. I fell in love with her. She inserted a needle and withdrew a gallon of blood and I felt nothing at all. Not event the prick of the needle.
I asked her why I felt nothing while all the others were Count Dracula trainees. Her reply . . she was just damned good at it.
During all the tests and procedures up to the the main event I was punctured and hurt very often. From the actual bypass operation I never felt anything after I woke up in the recovery room. It all seemed to be a non event.
I wish you well JD and hope your bunions do grow back.
Cheers
Urso Branco
Urso Branco’s last blog post..Brewing Coffee in a Drip Coffee Machine
That’s it… I’m officially starting a Facebook group right now called, “People who are jam-packed with juicy, greenish-blue, pulsating, close-to-the surface veins”
Jeff’s last blog post..Thank you for your suggestions – Part II
That’s the reason why I hate surgeries, thanks God they found a vein but I can’t imagine myself in that situation you are very brave.
Jayj: I wanna see the kinky tongue! Please post a picture somewhere or email it to me at idothingATgmail.com so I can post a picture of it. Pleeeeeze!
Musing: I know! I did NOT sign up to be a guinea pig!
Jen: No, bruises are not sexy. I bruise easily, too, and by now my hands and wrist are as multicolored as my foot. You poor thing. A fistulotomy/ectomy doesn’t sound very fun. Neither does holding your mom’s toe in place.
Lin: HA! Yes, remember the birthday tip. In retrospect, it doesn’t seem that bad—just stupid and unnecessary. Good thing it wasn’t major surgery that I was really nervous about.
Marie: YES! I was very dehydrated when I had a colonoscopy, and there was no problem. I’d only had to skip breakfast for this procedure. Oh, I’m sorry about your humiliating “X.” They could’ve at least warned you or asked you which color you preferred. At least they didn’t do the wrong eye!
MamaNeedsaCosmo: I’m not really into blood, either, especially mine when it comes spurting out of a failed vein. I wish MY job taught me about phlebotomy. Then maybe I can my own IV next time.
Urso Branco: Hey, thanks for having that triple bypass—I appreciate it! Are you kidding about the janitor? I hope so. I’m glad you at least got to experience one non-painful bloodletting. And thanks for the good wishes.
Jeff: You know I’ll join!
Bingo help: I am very brave, aren’t I? Especially considering I could’ve escaped by giving the wrong birth date!
In 2007 I had WAY more than my fair share of IV’s during my “female trouble”. One of the IV’s was in that same spot that finally worked for you. I normally have good veins too (but only on the right side, the left side they are sneaky and roll out of the way), but I had an experienced nurse who stuck me 3 times.
I had kind of a trial run for my hysterectomy when my daughter had her break and I lost my cookies when they put in the IV sedation in the ER, so I was more than prepared for the actual event a month later. My doc gave me an extra something something in my IV in the prep room the second run and I was barely awake when I got in the ER. Thank goodness! No one wants to toss their cookies almost on their doc’s shoes!
I will tell you though, one thing that is absolutely worse than getting an IV stuck on the inside of your wrist is being stuck for a blood transfusion. I don’t know if the vein location criteria are different or what, but it freakin hurt !@#$%. I think the needle is larger and that is why it is more painful. In any case, I hope I never have to have one again.
Lola’s last blog post..Blogojevich Book Deal/There Oughta Be A Law
Collywobbles: A state of intestinal disorder, usually accompanied by a rumbling stomach. For example, ‘butterflies in the stomach’.
Not sure how to video that
babs – beetle’s last blog post..The day I almost thumped someone!
This sounds really painful
I must not get ill. I must not get ill. I must not get ill. I must not get ill.
dcr’s last blog post..What You Don’t See When You’re Focused on Something Else
Thanks for that. I also have been told I have good veins, why must they crap out on us when we need them? They work fine when donating blood, but when having tests or procedures done, they crap out.
Hope you are recovering nicely and are ready to do more stuff so I don’t have to soon.
Shelly’s last blog post..Got some Love
Lola: Oh, ow. I wish I’d thought to ask for a “little something” in my IV after all that. I’ve never had a blood tranfusion, but I remember donating plasma as a poor college student, and that needle was HUGE. Yikes.
babs – beetle: No, I guess that doesn’t translate to video. Too bad. I was hoping for another stellar Mo performance!
shelly wagar: The last injection was very, very painful, but it passed quickly. Next time I see a needle going toward that vein, I’m pulling away.
dcr: Oh, dear. Are you okay? Do you need to look at Patrick Swayze for a while?
Shelly: Thanks, Shelly. My veins feel fine now. I gave them a little pep talk, and they promised not to lock up in the future. But can veins be trusted?
I can’t believe your bunionectomy took almost as long as Barbara Bush’s heart surgery. You poor thing, that ain’t right.
Jenn Thorson’s last blog post..Signs Your Evil Overlord Business is Being Hurt by the Economy
Let’s hear it for the bunion! What a great story. When I was 13, I had my appendix out. My mother didn’t believe me when I was sick so by the time she took me to the hospital, it was about to burst. They shaved me (which was upsetting since I was just starting to get some good hair going in that area) and wheeled me to surgery. On the way up, they noticed I still had my socks on. (One blue and one black). The two orderlies began arguing over what to do about my socks saying things like, “We’ve never had someone with their socks on before.” We got off the elevator and I’m in on a gurnsey in a hallway listening to them fight so I suggest they take them off me. They pause. Take them off and then on we go. Honestly true story here.
Preston’s last blog post..There Goes My Money Up the Chimney
You’re such an awesome sport. I would have started yelling at the silly ass nurses.
Grog’s last blog post..Darfur War Crimes
Gah! I started reading this at lunch… got a few paragraphs in, got all sweaty and nauseous and had to stop. So now I am back and I made it! I read the whole post! Aren’t you proud of me? And I did it without any anesthetic!!!
Oh yeah…. sorry to hear about all your pokes. I know the feeling all too well. I hate the IV’s in the wrist – you can’t bend your hand at all.
Hope you are healing quickly.
Maureen’s last blog post..Set The WayBack to 1973 Sherman
I just wrote the longest comment ever and it didn’t make it and now I have to start again– rrrr.
Before my 2nd c-section a friend told me that if they miss “finding the vein” the first time, INSIST on them bringing someone from anesthesiology to do it.
So after they took their unsuccessful first stab at it, I did insist on it– and guess what, it was like night and day– the anesthesiology person got it right in painlessly– I’m sooo glad I did that, it was so worth it. Oh yeah, and make sure they don’t send a student.
Jenn Thorson: Holy crap! Here I thought an hour was pretty good. Well, at least I know what to expect if I ever need heart surgery!
Preston: Now I have “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” running thru my head (only with “bunion”)! OK, now WHAT was the deal with the freaking socks? I’m surprised they didn’t just wheel you back and tell you the whole thing was canceled because they couldn’t deal with socks. How strange. Glad you (and your socks) are OK.
Grog: I am, aren’t I?! I kind of wanted to yell after a while, but they were really so nice. Ineffectual, but nice.
Maureen: Oh, I’m so sorry! I’ve stopped writing about veins and bunions for a while so don’t be afraid to come back.
Florida Girl In Sydney: Good advice. I just never realized nurses could be so terrible at what seems like a fairly simple procedure. I’d never had a problem before. Arggh.
Okay, not cool at all regarding the vein search. But I was struck by the visual since I am a graphic kinda gal. I did go to their site and was amazed by what I saw.
However, your graphic is so specific I just have to know if they created it specially for you (you are special) or was it just luck that they have both a bunion graphic and a nurse not finding the right vein graphic?
I am interested in the final results of the surgery (later on) and do we get to see a before and after picture once everything heals? I also have bunions, but not anything to write home about or to get the surgery mojo on.
Thank God.
cardiogirl’s last blog post..Uncle Pappy is such a jerk!
cardiogirl: Yes, the “nurse” image was done especially for me, by Daniela at Seafood Punch. She also did the drawings for my “Scarred” and “Hurt” posts (also still on this front page, I believe). Isn’t she awesome? Contact her for all your graphics needs! (And yes, there will probably be one more “after” picture later this week when I get the bandages off. I’m hoping it’s nice and bruise-y.)
Sounds to me like whatever hospital you went to needs soldiers to start IVs. I like to think of myself as the Grand Master of Pushing Fluids.
Hope you get well soon!!
Jac: I would have MUCH preferred having the Grand Fluid Master at my side than this very nice but obviously ineffectual nurse. Can I request you next time?
Great article. It really was easy read. I almost had everything in my mind picture as you describe your experience in your writing. I wish you great health. Hope you can update us the results.
Jen´s last blog ..Total Abdominal Hysterectomy and Ovarian Cancer