I’m Going to Eat Some Jerk Chicken

Long hot days
Cool sea haze


I’m leaving you, my bloglings. It’s time for me to go be naked for a while, and this is just something I have to do alone. Well, alone except for Dave. And a bunch of total strangers.

Yessss! It’s vacation time! We’re heading back to our favorite Jamaican resort, which just happens to have a nudist side and a prudist side.

Why should you care if I’m leaving? Well, I’m not taking my laptop, nor am I shelling out $7 to use the completely unreliable computer in the “Internet Lounge.” That means we will be apart for a whole week. (sobs quietly while packing suntan lotion and flip-flops)

But don’t worry. I’ve got a tantalizing post scheduled to go up next Wednesday, and my brother has written a guest post, which will be published next Friday. So you have that. You also have my archives, so why not dig around? I’ve been doing things since July of 2007!

Before I go, I need to tie up a few loose ends:

Warning! I was having problems this week with my blog being too big and pushy and obnoxious and taking up all the CPU space on the Internet. Bluehost shut me down, but I think I fixed the problem. However, if you get an “Account Suspended” message instead of my beautiful bathtubbed self, you’ll know I didn’t.


I’ve been tagged for some memes and although I don’t always do memes (they can be hard to fit into my “I Do Things” format), here are two I definitely plan to do:

  • Six Random Things—with a Twist from Stephanie at The Rocket Scientist. Write six things most people don’t know about one of your specialties. What are my specialties? Oooh, you’ll have to wait and see.
  • Picture Meme from Lola at Lola’s Diner. From my picture files, I must open the sixth folder, choose the sixth picture, then post it on my blog, and provide “a very very intriguing explanation.” This one sounds fun, and if it takes me several tries to find an intriguing photo, surely that’s allowed?


Hey, remember the mouse? We found it. We were moving our coffee table back into place after taking down our Christmas tree. There was a small stockpile of cat toys: balls, strings, fuzzy toy mouse, dead real mouse. Luckily it didn’t look like it had been there very long, but that didn’t keep me from simultaneously screaming and throwing up (not as easy as it sounds).


Recently, I asked my beloved readers to come up with some stuff for me to do so you/they don’t have to. As a result of your requests, I have decided that in 2009, I will:

Good-bye! See you in a week. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

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39 Responses to “I’m Going to Eat Some Jerk Chicken”

  1. 1 Daisy the Curly Cat

    Don’t leave us! ::sobs:: If you really must go, have a fabulous time!

    Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..I Got Purple Hairs

  2. 2 flit

    hope you have a wonderful time….

    although I canNOT imagine going anywhere without a laptop and Internet. That just wouldn’t work for me – although I am sure hubby would like it.

  3. 3 Lin

    Oooh, have fun! I am sooo jealous that you get to go somewhere warm when I’m stuck here in the -10 degrees, both kids home from school, with pain meds I don’t wanna take! Go, have fun, enjoy the time with your husband and don’t worry about us! :)

    I’m thinking the post is more like “I’ll sunburn my butt so you don’t have to” or “Showing off my kalotchy so you don’t have to” or maybe “tanning my boobies so you don’t have to”. Geesh, just the thought of warm sunshine makes me smile.


    Lin’s last blog post..Purple Haze

  4. 4 Babs - beetle

    Have a great holiday! You need it after this week! I imagine some good blog material will be found on this beach ;O)

    Babs – beetle’s last blog post..It’s a knockout!

  5. 5 Canucklehead

    Whoa! I saw the goodbye on twitter and had a mini-breakdown! A week I can handle, I’ll spend the time picturing you naked, with the cold beer hitting you in the mouth and such. Bon voyage and have fun. CHEERS!

    Canucklehead’s last blog post..The Perfect Post

  6. 6 Jaffer

    Bye JD ! Enjoy ! Enjoy ! Enjoy ! Whatever it takes to get away from this arctic freeze ! :)

    Jaffer’s last blog post..HaeeeeYAA ! (oops !)

  7. 7 Kelly

    Mmmmm, I love jerk chicken! Have some for me, because I can’t have it anymore.

    Kelly’s last blog post..Small Abstract No. 16

  8. 8 Joe

    Have a nice vacation.
    Are you serious about the head cheese? You do know it’s mainly head, no cheese, right?

    Joe’s last blog post..Caption this winner announced

  9. 9 Natural

    you deserve a break today and tomorrow and the next few days.

    now it’s okay if you don’t take your laptop, but at least take a pen and paper with you…i would hate for you to have to write your guest post ideas all over your, um na, nak, um, birthday suit.

    have a great time JD, i’ll miss you, but will come back for the goodies.

    pooh on bluehost. i heard this a few weeks ago that they can just shut you down. i use them and never had a problem, but then again, not much traffic over there, i guess. did you move to a new host?

    be safe! hey where are your cats going?

    Natural’s last blog post..The $64,000 Question

  10. 10 Kathy

    I’m sobbing, too, Daisy! Hey, JD. I think if you had a problem with the dead real mouse, you may have issues with the head cheese. Did you go look at pictures of it? Go! Go look! Pieces of …. you know, face!

    Enjoy your glorious, warm-weather vacation! Catch ya on the flipside!

    Oh, one more thing. I was going to try that picture meme you mentioned, but the sixth picture in my sixth folder is of a bird who later died on my patio, in a corner, alone. Not a very fun story. Hope yours is better!

    Kathy’s last blog post..The Lady on the Bench

  11. 11 Broadway Matron

    This recipe was in my local paper this week – I immediately thought of you. Have a great vacation!

    Apple Bacon Coffee Cake

    1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons milk
    1 package active dry yeast (2 1/2 teaspoons)
    1/3 cup sugar, divided
    3 eggs, divided
    10 tablespoons butter, at room temperature, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
    3 1/2 cups bread flour, divided
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    1 1/2 pounds thick-cut bacon, preferably applewood- smoked, sliced crosswise into 1/4-inch pieces
    1 pound tart apples, such as
    Granny Smith (about 2 large)
    1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
    1/4 cup maple syrup, divided
    2 tablespoons amaretto liqueur
    1/3 cup sliced almonds
    2 tablespoons cream cheese
    1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon powdered sugar, sifted

    1. In a small pan, heat the milk over medium heat just until warmed. Remove from heat and pour into a small bowl or measuring cup. Stir in the yeast and 1 teaspoon sugar, then set aside until the yeast is activated and the milk is foamy, about 10 minutes.

    2. Whisk two of the eggs in the bowl of a stand mixer with the whisk attachment (or in a large bowl with a hand mixer) until light and fluffy, about 1 minute. Stir in the yeast mixture and remaining sugar until fully incorporated.

    3. With the mixer running, add the butter, one or two pieces at a time, until all of it has been incorporated.

    4. In a medium bowl, whisk together 3 cups of the bread flour and the salt. With the mixer running, add the flour mixture, a spoonful at a time, until all of it has been incorporated into the dough.

    5. Remove the dough to a lightly floured surface and knead until it is soft and elastic with a silky texture, 5 to 7 minutes. Knead in additional bread flour as needed, up to the remaining 1/2 cup. Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl and loosely cover with plastic wrap. Set aside in a warm place until doubled in size, 1 to 1 1/2 hours.

    6. While the dough is rising, cook the bacon in a large skillet over medium heat until the fat is rendered and the bacon is crisp, about 15 minutes. Stir frequently so the bacon cooks evenly and does not stick to the bottom of the pan. Remove from the heat and drain the bacon on a paper towel-lined plate, reserving 1/4 cup of the grease for the remainder of the recipe.

    7. Peel and core the apples, and slice each into eight pieces. Cut each slice crosswise into 1/8-inch pieces.

    8. In a large skillet, melt 2 tablespoons bacon grease over medium heat. Stir in the apple slices and cinnamon and cook for 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Stir in 2 tablespoons maple syrup and continue to cook, stirring frequently, until crisp-tender, another 2 minutes. Remove the pan from heat and stir in the amaretto. Place the pan back over medium heat and cook until the liqueur is mostly absorbed, about 1 minute, stirring to scrape any bits of flavoring from the bottom of the pan. Remove from heat and set aside to cool.

    9. When the dough is doubled, punch it down and roll it out on a lightly floured surface into a 12-by-18-inch rectangle. Spread the apples and bacon bits evenly over the dough.

    10. Roll the dough lengthwise into a tube (like a cinnamon roll), making sure the seam is on the bottom of the roll. Make 15 slits over the length of the roll, a little over 1 inch apart and three-fourths of the way through. Carefully transfer the dough to a parchment-lined baking sheet. Form the dough into the shape of a wreath, with the cut sides on the outside of the wreath. Loosely cover with plastic wrap and set aside until almost doubled in volume, 45 minutes to an hour. Alternatively, loosely cover and refrigerate the dough overnight; remove from the refrigerator about 1 hour before baking for the dough to come to room temperature.

    11. Heat the oven to 375 degrees. In a small bowl, whisk together 1 tablespoon maple syrup with the remaining egg. Brush the egg wash over the outside of the wreath. Sprinkle the sliced almonds over the wreath and place the pan in the oven.

    12. Bake the coffee cake until it’s golden brown on top and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 25 to 30 minutes. Rotate the pan halfway through baking for even coloring.

    13. While the coffee cake is baking, make the glaze. In a medium bowl, whisk together the cream cheese, powdered sugar, 1 tablespoon bacon grease and maple syrup.

    14. Remove the cake and brush the top with the remaining tablespoon bacon grease. Allow the cake to cool slightly.

    15. Drizzle the glaze over the warm coffee cake. Slice and serve. The cake will keep for up to two days if refrigerated, but cover it and bring it to room temperature before serving.

    Note: Grade B maple syrup is recommended for this recipe; the syrup is less filtered, so it has more pronounced flavor. The coffee cake can be made through Step 10 the night before; loosely cover and refrigerate the dough overnight, then warm at room temperature for one hour before baking.

    Broadway Matron’s last blog post..The thermostat wars

  12. 12 Tiggy

    Have fun JD! Well, its Jamaica so of course you’ll have fun. And don’t drink too much rum and confuse the ‘nudist’ side with the ‘prudist’ side!

    Although that would be quite funny – please take pics.

    Tiggy’s last blog post..Chinese Whispers – Sparky’s Party

  13. 13 Father Muskrat

    Have a great trip! We’ll look forward to the recap next week.

    Father Muskrat’s last blog post..friday confessional for january 16

  14. 14 Stephanie Barr

    Screaming and throwing up simultaneously sounds EASY? Maybe for you.

    Have fun. You WILL be missed. Heck, I miss you already.

    Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..Uber Cool Nerd GOD

  15. 15 Jay

    Thanks for doing that so I don’t have to! I hear they have some pretty interesting wildlife in Jamaica – some of it on two legs. LOL!

    Have fun, an don’t … burn anything. ;)

  16. 16 Lux

    Have lots of fun on your vacation, JD!

  17. 17 Jeff

    Have fun in Jamaica. Just make sure to put plenty of SPF stuff on your untanned parts… if you know what I mean.

    Oh, and “you’re welcome” for the head cheese suggestion. Glad I could help!

    Huh, I just noticed your post title takes on a very different meaning with the inclusion of one poorly placed comma, as in… “I’m going to eat some jerk, chicken.” Who you calling a chicken?

    Jeff’s last blog post..Be right back…

  18. 18 Preston

    Enjoy Jamaica. I hate you. No seriously I don’t but since I’m on a diet, I wanted to say thank you for eating the jerk chicken so I don’t have to.

    Preston’s last blog post..A Beautiful Baby Deserves to Win

  19. 19 absepa

    Have a great time in Jamaica! We’ll miss you, but thanks loads for arranging some stuff for us to read while you’re gone. I’m looking forward to reading your brother’s post!

    absepa’s last blog post..There’s More Here than Just Chicken, You Know

  20. 20 Lola

    Oh no fair going on vacation so I don’t have to! I haven’t been on vacation………………………………………………………………………jeez, I can’t remember the last time I went on a real, whole week vacation. I think it was in the early 90′s. Yes, I’m jealous. But you can do the nudist thing for me, no chance I’d do that.

    Lola’s last blog post..No school tomorrow either

  21. 21 Trade Show Guru

    Hey JD,
    Have an awesome vacation, and if you have time, drink a Red Stripe for me!
    ~ Steve, aka the I-could-use-a-vacation trade show guru :)

    Trade Show Guru’s last blog post..Balance

  22. 22 HappyCampers

    Have FUN!!!

  23. 23 JD

    Daisy the Curly Cat: Thank you, Daisy! I know you’ll have fun while I’m gone. And I’ll have fun catching up on all your adventures when I return.

    flit: Thank you! I desperately need a break from my laptop. I need to reacquaint myself with the ancient art of reading . . . books!

    Babs – beetle: Thank you! Yes, I’m sure something will “pop up”!

    Canucklehead: Thank you! Ummmm . . . instead of the beer, imagine a fruity rum drink. That will be more realistic.

    Kelly: Will do!

    Joe: Thank you! Yes, I’m serious. Even about the head part (bleeurgh).

    Natural: Thank you! I’m definitely bringing a notebook and pen. Writing on a birthday-suited body does NOT work, especially with the suntan lotion. Prudence is at my mom’s, with her cousins Noel and Marjorie, and Gus is at my brother’s, with his cousin Rudy. I WILL MISS THEM!

    Kathy: I think your dead bird story sounds like a hit! If anyone can make it funny, it’s you. I’m scared of the head cheese, but I promised, and I WILL do it. Have a great week!

    Broadway Matron: Oh, my Bacon! That is awesome! Thanks so much. I got a great e-mail recommending rolling up a piece of uncooked bacon in one of those cinnamon rolls that come in a tube. That sounds pretty darn good, too.

    Tiggy: Thank you! And, HA! I have a feeling if I stumble drunkenly onto the prudist side, I won’t be the one taking pics. Then again . . .

    Father Muskrat: Thank you! I hope lots of funny stuff happens. If not, I’ll just make some stuff up.

    Stephanie Barr: Aw, thank you. I miss you too. And I’m behind on your blog. I’ll look forward to catching up when I get back.

    Lin: Thank you! I’m sorry I can’t tuck you (and your pain meds) into my carryon. Sounds like you seriously need some sun. I will soak up as much as I can for you (and possibly sunburn my butt in the process!)

    Jay: Thank you! We’re taking 2 large Ziploc bags of various strengths of lotion. I think we’ll be OK.

    Lux: Thank you so much!

    Jeff: I wish I could share the play on “jerk” my husband wanted to include. I’m sure I’ll be so sick of delicious Caribbean cuisine that I’ll be dying for some head cheese.

    Preston: Thank you. I’m glad you don’t really hate me. I’ll eat a LOT of stuff for your—and I’ll be joining you on that diet when I get back.

    absepa:Thank you! I hope you like my brother’s post. He actually DOES do things—interesting things!

    Jaffer: Thank you! Thank you! Yeah, the timing is pretty good. As long as our plane takes off!

    Lola: I wish you could come. I bet we’d have a blast. And we could meet in between the nudist and prudist side. See ya!

    HappyCampers: Thank you!!!!

    Trade Show Guru: Thank you! I have yet to try a Red Stripe, but since you ask, I’ll make a point of having one!

  24. 24 Elle

    Bon Naked Voyage!!!!

    Elle’s last blog post..He’s Better! He’s Better!!

  25. 25 Jen

    Have a wonderful time! Do all sorts of things that we wouldn’t do but remember not to accept any gifts.

    Also remember that you do not need to get a sunburn for us. Wear your sunscreen!

    Jen’s last blog post..There is a special place in hell for…

  26. 26 Maureen

    Have a wonderful time!!!! I can’t wait to hear all about it (which I am sure you will let us in on all the juicy details).

    Hope you don’t sunburn any private parts.

    Maureen’s last blog post..A Glutton For Punishment

  27. 27 Florida Girl In Sydney

    You leave just as I come back :(.

    I hope you have a wonderful time on your vacay and don’t forget to put sunscreen and your boobs– ya know, should you venture off to the nudist side.

    Florida Girl In Sydney’s last blog post..A Love Letter

  28. 28 Florida Girl In Sydney

    Oh that was supposed to be– don’t forget to put sunscreen ON your boobs. But also don’t forget your boobs in general, ok, I won’t forget them so you don’t have to.

    Could I be delirious from the 16 hour time difference?? Sorry.

    Florida Girl In Sydney’s last blog post..A Love Letter

  29. 29 Regan

    Noo! You can’t leave! As I read this post, I was thrashing my head back and forth, screaming NOOOO at the top of my lungs. Then some nice men with big needles came and took me into this……

    So anyway, have a good time. But I hope the screams of everyone who is sad about you leaving haunt you in your sleep, so you wake up thinking ‘I really should of taken the blogosphere with me’.

    Well, I’m just bitter. Next time I go on vacation is in about 5 or 6 months. Have a great time. Take lots of pictures!

  30. 30 chat blanc

    I miss you already! Don’t burn any important lady parts in the hot Jamaican sun! :D

    chat blanc’s last blog post..Magically incongruous

  31. 31 carol at A Second Cup

    Going to Jamaica is something I wish I could do for myself. Have a great time and don’t forget the sunscreen.

    carol at A Second Cup’s last blog post..Parenting Teens: Minor Teen Trials: Then and Now

  32. 32 Sausage Recipes

    I am jealous! And who wouldn’t be? That sounds interesting though that the beach is next to a nudist part.

    Well with the bluehost issue, that’s a shame that they are wanting or rather pursuing shutting down the blog, I hope they don’t.

    Sausage Recipes’s last blog post..Sweet and Sour Sausage Spears

  33. 33 dcr

    I’ve had turkey jerky before, but don’t think I’ve tried jerk chicken!

    Have fun! Oh, but you’re probably gone by now and won’t see this until you get back, in which case, I hope you had fun! ;-)

    dcr’s last blog post..Changing of the Blogs

  34. 34 Musing

    Have a mahvelous vacation!

    Musing’s last blog post..Highlighted Blog: The Communicatrix

  35. 35 Jamie | Lil Rounds

    Ah! Generic versus name brand comparisons. :) I’m really looking forward to you doing that so I don’t have to. :D

  36. 36 Christa

    I could use a suitable man to like Redhead Ranting! Don’t leave me out!

    I hope you have a gigglicious vacation Miss J…don’t forget to add sunscreen, or, perhaps you were planning a post called: I forgot to use sunscreen so you should remember to?

  37. 37 JD

    Elle: Thank you! (I’m back now.) It was a blast.

    Jen: Thank you! I did get a tiny bit sunburned, but not too bad. And no gifts! Except the ones I paid for.

    Maureen: No private parts were sunburned in my effort to get a golden-brown tan. Juicy details are on the way!

    Florida Girl In Sydney: Aw. I’m sorry I missed you. My boobs were well-protected. And not forgotten. But just in case, I’m glad you’re not forgetting them either. Hmmm. I may be a bit delirious from the 1-hour time difference.

    Regan: Oh, no!!! I wish I could’ve taken the blogosphere with me! Imagine how much fun we’d have! Now you’re the one with a vacation to look forward to, and I have only memories. And a great suntan. Missed you!

    carol at A Second Cup: Oh, man, we brought 2 giant Ziploc bags of various levels of sunscreen (and came back with half a bag). I hope you get to go to Jamaica for yourself. It’s a blast.

    Sausage Recipes: Don’t be jealous! Be happy. And I don’t think Bluehost is going to shut down my blog. Imagine the uproar if they did.

    Musing: Thank you, my dear!

    Christa: Thankfully, I don’t have to title my next post “I Forgot to Use Sunscreen . . .” And we did indeed have a gigglicious vacation. We’ll talk about a matchmaking session.

    chat blanc: I miss you too! Oh, wait, I’m back. And happy to report all lady parts are unburned.

    dcr: Thank you! I did have fun. And jerk chicken is amazing, altho the kind you get in Jamaica seems much better than what you get in the States. Still, I recommend it. It’s not anything like jerky, more like barbecue only with delicious spices.

    Jamie | Lil Rounds: Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? I haven’t decided which products to test yet.

  38. 38 LBUG

    Jerk chicken’s sweet. Good choice.

  39. 39 JD

    LBUG: Yup. Mandatory eating when in Jamaica.


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