It’s Judgment Day for all of you who entered my revised Vocabulary Skillzzz contest. As you may recall, the original contest featured words that were probably too obscure to be fun, yet! There were two worthy entrants and therefore, two winners.

I revised the contest to include the much more familiar words Vicodin, underpants, and nude, and got a few more participants. In fact, instead of rewarding just one entrant, I’ve decided to ask our judges to determine 3 winners. The 1st-place winner will receive one of the fabulous Jamaican keychains pictured above with Gus; the two runners-up will get . . . something else! Just as fabulous! But still not ganja.

Below are the two winning entries from Kathy and Canucklehead, who will judge the remaining entries.

My stomach is in KNOTS!


Kathy from The Junk Drawer:

The people who can’t understand JD’s invidious tendencies toward bananas and pickles are the same ones who are puzzled why similarly-shapen hot dogs make the grade.

JD would have been justified in shoving the ponytail-wearing interloper out of her personal space because violating that kind of gym punctilio warrants much more than just staring a hole through the back of her head.

If you’re going to show what a sitzmark looks like by falling out of a chair, you should at least make sure there’s snow on the ground, because I’m pretty sure it would hurt a lot less.


Canucklehead hath started leaving comments in the puzzling vocabulary of a certain blogging Lord, a habit he knew would be considered invidious to this noble gentleman. In fact, he had previously stood gape-jawed in horror as the aforementioned Sir Likely beat a street urchin within an inch of her young life for a lesser infraction of such a punctilio. It is for this reason that I am hopeful that he learns not of my transgressions prior to our upcomg trip to Aspen or he shall certainly pummel me into the slope and turn the resulting sitzmark into a literal bloodbath.

Current Entries

dcr blogs:

If you have sensitivity in your nether regions, try taking Vicodin so you no longer feel the pain of wearing underpants and don’t have to go out in public nude anymore.



You’re nude if you’re on vicodin, even if you are wearing your underpants.


Corrina from My Random Blog:

Ummm, yeah . . . I found Vicodin in my nude underpants.



“What are these?” Little Stevie asked. “Oh, just grannie’s underpants.” Little Stevie was scarred for life.

Little Stevie looked at the white pills. Were they tic tacs? Candy? He decided to try them even though he was warned they were Vicodin.

Little Stevie got undressed for his shower. Then he got dared to run around outside nude.



As I stood by the pool nude and dripping wet from the latest way I could think of to get my mind right, the door bell rang. As the maid ushered him in, I grabbed my lacy underpants and welcomed the new delivery boy with the reward of myself and some of the Vicodin his very thoughtful employer had sent my way.


Canucklehead (ineligible, but hilarious):

The legendary Vegas showman, Vic Odin was hurriedly preparing for his show, which was starting momentarily.

He scrambled around his dressing room searching for his trademark sunglasses, which frankly he felt nude without.

He finally found them with mere moments to spare. Can you guess where? That’s right – under pants.


Jeff from View from the Cloud:

Never eat soup in the nude, because if you spill it on your lap and you’re not wearing any underpants, you’re gonna need some Vicodin!

Carla @WordPlay:

Underpants? No thanks! I prefer to go nude when I take Vicodin. It’s much more interesting for the people around me.


“Well doctor,” I said, while popping a Vicodin, “I threw my underpants in the bushes, raced nude toward the pool and kersplash – belly flop”


The warning label on the Vicodin clearly warned against going out in the nude. But don’t underpants just create an internal environment of nudity, you know for the bits and pieces?

The 3 winners will be announced . . . SOON!

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9 Responses to “I’m Finally Wrapping Up this Vocab Contest”

  1. 1 Canucklehead

    Wait a second – I have to be a judge?!!!
    Oh brother, I certainly have my work cut out for me!
    I’m not sure if I should post my answers here – but I suppose it will come out eventually. I tell you what – I’ll rank my top 3 (in order) and let Kathy make the final decision. Anyone who knows both of us can attest to the fact that she is the reasonable one – of course, it’s all relative.


    Once again, it was a tough decision – they were all great entries …

  2. 2 Jeff

    So Canucklehead, just name your price. Whatever you want… cash, chocolate – I can afford it.

    Jeff’s last blog post..Look out… here comes the teenage son

  3. 3 Kathy

    Hey, Canucklehead, nobody ever called me reasonable and got away with it.

    Let’s see. We both picked Carol as our first choice. Yea Carol!
    As to the 1st and 2nd runners-up, both Regan and Cardiogirl made my first round picks. I’m going to pronounce these “fine with me!” and now JD can get on with the awarding.

    Has Gus been guarding the keychains all this time? You might have a problem separating them. He looks like he takes his watchcat duties very seriously.

    Kathy’s last blog post..Don’t Worry, He Won’t Bite

  4. 4 JD

    Woo-Hoo!!!!! (and, sorry, Jeff!)

    Thanks so much to my illustrious judges. We have 3 winners! I’ll put up a post with an official announcement and further instructions.

    Congratulations to Carol, Regan, and Cardiogirl!!!

    JD’s last blog post..I’m Finally Wrapping Up this Vocab Contest so you don’t have to

  5. 5 JD

    Kathy: Yes, Gus has been sitting there, on that same blanket, guarding the keychains (and now mystery items) for over a week. He’s never bitten me, but if I try to move one of those keychains, he might try it. Maybe the winners will be happy with a picture of a keychain?

    JD’s last blog post..I’m Finally Wrapping Up this Vocab Contest so you don’t have to

  6. 6 Regan

    Wait. I actually WON something?? Really? Is this some kind of new MTV prank show? And Gus is very cute, kind of looks like my cats… =)

  7. 7 JD

    Regan: YES! You won! Believe me, I tried to get Ashton Kutcher in on this, but he wouldn’t bite. No, it’s the real deal.

    Gus appreciates your compliments. I wish he could give out the prizes himself, but you’ll have to settle for good ol’ USPS.


    JD’s last blog post..I Announce the Winners of the Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest! so you don’t have to

  8. 8 Lord Likely

    How on Earth did I miss someone taking my lordly name in vain?

    I must say, though, that Mr. Canucklehead certainly did a marvellous job.

    It made me feel all tingly in my underpants.

  9. 9 JD

    Lord Likely: Is the underpants-tingling a signal that people are talking about you? When it happens to me, it’s usually something else…

    JD’s last blog post..I Take Pix so you don’t have to


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