It’s Judgment Day for all of you who entered my revised Vocabulary Skillzzz contest. As you may recall, the original contest featured words that were probably too obscure to be fun, yet! There were two worthy entrants and therefore, two winners.
I revised the contest to include the much more familiar words Vicodin, underpants, and nude, and got a few more participants. In fact, instead of rewarding just one entrant, I’ve decided to ask our judges to determine 3 winners. The 1st-place winner will receive one of the fabulous Jamaican keychains pictured above with Gus; the two runners-up will get . . . something else! Just as fabulous! But still not ganja.
Below are the two winning entries from Kathy and Canucklehead, who will judge the remaining entries.
My stomach is in KNOTS!
The people who can’t understand JD’s invidious tendencies toward bananas and pickles are the same ones who are puzzled why similarly-shapen hot dogs make the grade.
JD would have been justified in shoving the ponytail-wearing interloper out of her personal space because violating that kind of gym punctilio warrants much more than just staring a hole through the back of her head.
If you’re going to show what a sitzmark looks like by falling out of a chair, you should at least make sure there’s snow on the ground, because I’m pretty sure it would hurt a lot less.
Canucklehead hath started leaving comments in the puzzling vocabulary of a certain blogging Lord, a habit he knew would be considered invidious to this noble gentleman. In fact, he had previously stood gape-jawed in horror as the aforementioned Sir Likely beat a street urchin within an inch of her young life for a lesser infraction of such a punctilio. It is for this reason that I am hopeful that he learns not of my transgressions prior to our upcomg trip to Aspen or he shall certainly pummel me into the slope and turn the resulting sitzmark into a literal bloodbath.
If you have sensitivity in your nether regions, try taking Vicodin so you no longer feel the pain of wearing underpants and don’t have to go out in public nude anymore.
You’re nude if you’re on vicodin, even if you are wearing your underpants.
Ummm, yeah . . . I found Vicodin in my nude underpants.
“What are these?” Little Stevie asked. “Oh, just grannie’s underpants.” Little Stevie was scarred for life.
Little Stevie looked at the white pills. Were they tic tacs? Candy? He decided to try them even though he was warned they were Vicodin.
Little Stevie got undressed for his shower. Then he got dared to run around outside nude.
As I stood by the pool nude and dripping wet from the latest way I could think of to get my mind right, the door bell rang. As the maid ushered him in, I grabbed my lacy underpants and welcomed the new delivery boy with the reward of myself and some of the Vicodin his very thoughtful employer had sent my way.
Canucklehead (ineligible, but hilarious):
The legendary Vegas showman, Vic Odin was hurriedly preparing for his show, which was starting momentarily.
He scrambled around his dressing room searching for his trademark sunglasses, which frankly he felt nude without.
He finally found them with mere moments to spare. Can you guess where? That’s right – under pants.
Never eat soup in the nude, because if you spill it on your lap and you’re not wearing any underpants, you’re gonna need some Vicodin!
Underpants? No thanks! I prefer to go nude when I take Vicodin. It’s much more interesting for the people around me.
“Well doctor,” I said, while popping a Vicodin, “I threw my underpants in the bushes, raced nude toward the pool and kersplash – belly flop”
The warning label on the Vicodin clearly warned against going out in the nude. But don’t underpants just create an internal environment of nudity, you know for the bits and pieces?
The 3 winners will be announced . . . SOON!