Well, the tongue inside my mouth is not for sale

tongue-monster

Thanks to little pixie for the photo.

______________________

Recently I was told I had a flat throat. After a sleep study and CT scan, a diagnosis has been made. But I think I would’ve been better off not knowing.

It’s not my enlarged thyroid. It’s not a tumor, narrowed windpipe, or life-threatening congenital deformity of the throat itself.

It’s my damn tongue.

The doctor explains: “You see, your tongue begins farther back than the normal tongue. This causes your throat opening to flatten. When you lie down, your tongue falls back and the opening is even flatter.”

Hearing this, my tongue tripled in size.

“Now, this isn’t bad or good. It’s just the way your tongue was designed. Some people are tall, some people are short . . .”

I finish the sentence: “And some people have freakish mutant tongues.”

He goes on to assure me it’s no big deal. The only issue is snoring, and if I’m bothered by that, my options are surgery, a palate-stretching procedure, or a mouth guard. No, no, and no.

I tell him I don’t care about the snoring and my husband can wear earplugs and can me and my freak tongue just get the hell out of there please?

Driving home, I think about my tongue. What else will I ever think about again? Currently, my tongue takes up my whole mouth. When I swallow, it’s full of tongue. Where does my tongue actually begin back there? What does it attach to? Have you ever thought about that? The root of your tongue? You’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?

How am I going to eat with this tongue jammed halfway down my throat? Or talk? Tongue-y gibberish is the best I can hope for, along with stares of disgust and pity.

I can’t resist the urge to open wide and check out my tongue in my rearview mirror. Wider . . . wider . . . oops! You know, people should really cross at the light. A tongue-obsessed driver could be bearing down on you.

When I went to bed that night, I felt my huge, freakish tongue sliding inexorably back into my throat. But I knew I wasn’t really choking.

My problem is far worse than mere choking or suffocation.

I am aware of my tongue.

And now you are, too.

linus-and-lucy

Peanuts cartoon courtesy of this site

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58 Comments


58 Responses to “I’m Aware of My Tongue”

  1. 1 Jenn Thorson

    So you’re, like, the Gene Simmons of blogging or something? If you were a medieval warrior, they would have dubbed thee: “JD of the Mighty Tongue”?…

    And can we call you that? Because I think if that name got around, it might really bring you some more traffic. Maybe not the kind you’d want, but still…

    Traffic. :)

    Jenn Thorson’s last blog post..Magical Markets for Oprah Beyond the Twitter Rainbow

  2. 2 Kathy

    You know, I never really thought about where the tongue begins. Like what”s it attached to down there? Weird. I stuck my tongue way out just now and I still can’t figure it out. And now I’m VERY AWARE of my tongue. Thanks a whole lot.

    p.s. That’s some freaky baby arm tongue picture you put up. It’s gross, yet I can’t look away!!!!

    Kathy’s last blog post..Do You Have a Monkey Butt?

  3. 3 Phyl

    Eeeeeek! And now I don’t know where to PUT my tongue!

    Phyl’s last blog post..Wondrous Words Wednesday

  4. 4 Prefers Her Fantasy Life

    A little tongue-awareness is a dangerous thing. That’s why I had to give up the weed.

    JD of the Magic Tongue….I love it!!!

    Prefers Her Fantasy Life’s last blog post..Why I’m A Better Mom In My Fantasy Life

  5. 5 TheSnackHound

    I am a little confused. Are you aware of your tongue so that I don’t have to be aware of my own? You know, you have taken the general state of preoccupation away from me. OR re you aware of your tongue so that I don’t have to think about YOURS. I have to admit that I never really thought about your tongue before, though I assume you have one, so is it really “shouldering a burden?”

    Hmm…maybe Waaaay back in your family history when your family first came to the New World, or maybe when they first came into the Old World, they were quite isolated and somehow a frog ended up marrying in. Or was it just an affair that produced a love child? Anyway, perhaps you have some “throw back” genes. Oh, that doesn’t make any sense because frog tongues are mounted towards the front. But maybe you just got the tongue and it didn’t know where to go…

    TheSnackHound’s last blog post..Don’t Just Think about the Big Picture: Win It!

  6. 6 Stephanie

    You have a tongue?

    *Faints*

    Seems like you went through a lot of hullaballoo for nothing. If the tongue wasn’t bothering you (except for snoring), don’t sweat it. I wouldn’t.

    As for me, TOO BAD if you wanted to make me hyper-tongue-aware. My tongue and I go way back and, except for some appreciative tongue flips while I read, I don’t notice it any more than I did before.

    Nice try though.

    Stephanie’s last blog post..For Anonymous: Ba Zi Anyone?

  7. 7 Jeff

    Awesome post. I thought about that Peanuts cartoon the instant I saw the post title. Schultz also did one about being aware of your hands.

    My big problem is when I become aware of my breathing. Pretty soon I’m sitting there noticing how much work it is to breath in and out all the time and then I start to listen to it and then I start hyperventilating and then… I pass out. But then I don’t have to worry about it anymore, so there’s that.

    Jeff’s last blog post..Mr. Know-It-All

  8. 8 Shelly

    Sorry about your issues, really I am. I had the palate stretching procedure as a kid (like 8 or something) it took 6 months and wasn’t too awful. What I must really comment on is that picture. Really? That sort of freaks me out. Makes all the rest of it seem not so bad.

    Shelly’s last blog post..All this Appreciating is Making Me Busy

  9. 9 absepa

    Hmmm…I’ve never really been overly-aware of my tongue before, unless I had bitten it and it was sore. Weird. But not NEARLY as weird as that photo. I’m kind of ascared of that photo.

    absepa’s last blog post..Busier Than A…

  10. 10 babs - beetle

    Oh that’s a horrible baby picture. Who thinks these things up?

    A flat head, a flat throat and a misplaced tongue. I would stop going for tests now, if I were you. You never know what else they may find, that’s flatter than it should be.

    babs – beetle’s last blog post..Magnabeetle winners!

  11. 11 Daisy the Curly Cat

    Does this mean you won’t be able to make any more tongue-in-cheek comments? How about saying tongue twisters? Or getting tongue-tied? Maybe you can’t do any more tongue and groove carpentry! Now I’m very worried!

    Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..Say Cheese!

  12. 12 Natural

    hey i did want to stick my finger down my throat to find out where my tongue begins, but i just ate two pickels and we’re not allowed to vomit at work. it will have to wait until i get home – either i’ll find out, lose some weight or be offered a modeling contract.

    hey can you lick your elbow or your tongue is just huge and not long?

    there’s a stupid email going around that says no one can lick their elbow, i beg to differ and have been in search of that person who can. i thought i had a winner with you when i read the title.

    oh well.

    skips away.

  13. 13 Anne

    Before this moment, I don’t think I was ever aware of my tongue (not that I remember). Why must I be aware of my tongue now. I never noticed how much space it takes up in my mouth. I have to go find a mirror to check it out now.

  14. 14 C.B.Jones

    I’ve always been overly aware of mine. That’s probably why I never get things done, and procrastinate all the time.

    Welcome to my world.

    C.B.Jones’s last blog post..Wordess Wednesday: Try to explain this.

  15. 15 HeatherHappymaker

    That photo is disturbing! lol!

    Oh boy, to be aware of one’s tongue. That can’t be good. Sort of like when you stare at a word too long it starts to look funny.

    You are hilarious!

    HeatherHappymaker’s last blog post..A Thousand Words Thursday

  16. 16 Stephanie

    Hey, did I ever tell you I can make my tongue both really thick (as opposed to flat) and can also roll it into a tube. My mom could do one and not the other. My dad could do the other and not the one. I can do both. I can also roll r’s (my husband can’t make his think or roll r’s).

    Who knew my tongue of all things was my only athlete.
    (Shut UP, Shakespeare!)

    I bet you’re thinking about your tongue AGAIN, aren’t you?

    Stephanie’s last blog post..For Anonymous: Ba Zi Anyone?

  17. 17 JD

    Jenn Thorson: Mmm . . . tongue traffic. Yes! By all means, JD of the Mighty Tongue will be a benevolent yet firm leader. Gene Simmons I’m not, ‘cuz it’s not long in the front, only in the back. Which . . . oh, I said I wasn’t going to go there.

    Kathy: It’s a cool pic, isn’t it? It’s kind of how I feel about my tongue now, like it’s got an evil life of its own. Apparently no amount of tongue-sticking-out will reveal the origin of the tongue. But it will make you aware. Very, very aware.

    Phyl: HA! I know! It’s been sitting there quietly all these years, and now . . . it’s ALIVE!

    Prefers Her Fantasy Life: Wait, now is it “Magic Tongue” or “Mighty Tongue”? I’ll answer to either. See, I gave up the weed too, so why is this happening now? Can you have a weed flashback?

    TheSnackHound: I may have to do some digging into my family tree. Surely someone, somewhere is responsible for a mutant gene of some sort. As for whose tongue you should be aware of, it’s pretty much all of the above. It couldn’t hurt for everyone to be a little more aware of my tongue, especially since it’s now the object of pity and disgust.

    Stephanie: I know, weird, right?! Believe me, I wouldn’t sweat my tongue, but now I know it’s weirdly designed, and that bugs me. And we’ll just see how much you don’t notice your tongue tonight . . . when it’s dark and quiet and it’s just you and your tongue . . . lying there . . .

    Jeff: Thanks! I wondered if anyone would recognize that line from Peanuts. It’s one of my favorite ones. I don’t remember the “hand” one, tho. Passing out is certainly better than sitting there forever, thinking about your breathing. Ugh. Now I’m aware of my breathing. If you don’t breathe, your lungs automatically breathe for you, I think. Or do they? Breathing is hard!

    Shelly: Yeah, I have a feeling no matter how awful my tongue might’ve looked on the CT scan, it probably didn’t have a little monster hand at the end of it. Did you have the palate stretching because you had sleep apnea? Snoring? Mutant tongue?

    absepa: You’re right to be ascared. I think many of us will be having nightmares tonight, so at least I’m not alone. There’s nothing worse than biting your tongue and then continuing to bite it. Or am I thinking about the inside of the lip. Yes, that’s worse.

    babs – beetle: I am DONE with doctors! No more flat diagnoses. At least I know I don’t have flat feet. But what if I had a flat spleen or something? That would freak me out.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: Oh, no! Don’t worry, Daisy! I’m sure once all this tongue over-awareness dies down, I’ll be back to tongue twisters and getting tongue-tied. You are very smart to think of so many “tongue” things!

    Natural: “We’re not allowed to vomit at work.” Oh, my god. You crack me up. No, I can’t lick my elbow. Damn. My tongue is apparently long, but only in the back. So no special tongue tricks, guys.

    Anne: I feel like my tongue takes up my whole mouth. Does yours? Does everyone’s? There’s practically no room in there for anything else. Gah.

    C.B. Jones: So this is a chronic problem then? I will forever be aware of my tongue? I don’t think I can live like this. Maybe I’ll get the surgery after all.

    HeatherHappymaker: Thank you! And just look away from the photo. It might be real, but probably not. Yeah, it just does not pay to think about ANYthing for too long, especially if it’s slimy and in your mouth.

    Stephanie: Your husband can’t make his tongue think? What kind of freak is he??? Seriously, I can do the tube but not make it thick (or think). That’s a genetic thing; I remember reading about it a long time ago in some science book. And your husband is possibly the only other person I know of who also can’t roll his r’s. (You seem to be thinking about your tongue an awful lot!)

  18. 18 janine

    Again, thanks for doing this. I just haven’ t had the time..

    Look you have to stop worrying about your freakishness and start wearing your quirks like a badge.

    Everyone else does.

    My uterus is tipped.

    I have Man Hands.

    I have no baby toenail.

    (ps this was said with my head held high)

    janine’s last blog post..

  19. 19 Maureen

    I wholeheartedly agree with Lucy….

    Actually, I remember the first time I looked at a side view of the human anatomy, and saw that the tongue completely filled up the mouth cavity. I could have sworn that it laid flat, not touching the roof of the mouth…. then I was aware of my own tongue doing that.

    Gad.

    Maureen’s last blog post..Fun With Sam

  20. 20 Puglette

    Well, isn’t this the interesting predicament. I have been aware of my tongue since I was a child. My niece, who is only a year older than me, used to tell me all of the time that I talked funny. I didn’t sound funny, but it was funny to her that she could see my tongue move when I spoke. I used to stand in front of a mirror and try to catch my tongue while it was demonstrating its hysterical antics. I still don’t see it.

    Come on over and celebrate Ollie Day, soon to be a National Holiday. That may make you stop thinking about your tongue. Or you can go look at the ugly dog contestants, that will make you glad your tongue is anchored. Those doggies have their tongues flapping in the breeze!
    hugs,
    puglette
    :o)

    Puglette’s last blog post..Ollie Day!

  21. 21 Puglette

    oh…and for clarification, it is 11:57 am, May 14th…not 1:53 am on May 15th. Where are you? Jakarta?
    ;o)

    Puglette’s last blog post..Ollie Day!

  22. 22 Corrina

    I am WAY too aware of my tongue now. Thanks for that. Lol

  23. 23 Steve Shaw | Kindledude

    Well, I can’t say I’ve ever had the tongue-self-awareness thing, but every now and then, I become oddly aware of one or both little fingers, even when I’m not using them.

    The only time I am aware of being aware of tongues is when I meet ladies that have pierced ones.

    Steve Shaw | Kindledude’s last blog post..Kindle DX aims at the education market

  24. 24 absepa

    JD, I think it is possible to have a weed flashback, particularly when one hears “Kashmir.” But I don’t wouldn’t know personally or anything! A, um…friend told me.

    absepa’s last blog post..Busier Than A…

  25. 25 absepa

    Apparently I was having a weed flashback when I left that comment, since I typed “don’t wouldn’t know.” Gah.

    absepa’s last blog post..Busier Than A…

  26. 26 flit

    That picture is every bit as disturbing as the pea soup puke you threatened.

    My tongue is just boring….and now that I’m on a diet, mostly bored too

    flit’s last blog post..I am Freaking AMAZING!

  27. 27 D at Seafoodpunch

    that photo is freaking gross. i keep wondering how they did it…ah, this has inspired me to learn some photoshopping magic. Its always terrible when you start thinking about whats in your mouth…and how about swallowing? haev you ever put too much thought into that? its pretty traumatic.

    D at Seafoodpunch’s last blog post..When Pigs Fly

  28. 28 Regan

    Oh, no. Now whenever I eat I’m going to think about my tongue. And how it glides over the food in my mouth, tasting the flavor. And then how it slides it into my throat…

    I can never eat again, unless it’s through a food tube injected in my arm.

    Regan’s last blog post..Girl Scout Cookies

  29. 29 Tiggy

    Why do I have an image of Jamie Oliver in my head? Euh.

    Tiggy’s last blog post..Testing, Testing: Tiggy’s Mock Exam

  30. 30 JD

    janine: You have no baby toenail? That’s so sad. I’m in awe that you can state that with your head held high. I will learn by example and start flaunting my flat throat and weird tongue. The world will learn to love me for my QUIRKS!

    Maureen: So the fact that my tongue fills up my mouth is normal. Phew. I thought it laid flat, too. That’s a relief but also cause to be even more aware of my tongue.

    Puglette: That’s bizarre! Did anyone else ever mention this phenomenon? Speaking of Ollie and tongues, I copied a picture of him and his cute giant tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth. I look at it every now and then because, as you may have guessed, I have a big crush on Ollie. I’m on my way! (I know—my time is totally screwed up. Blame my tongue.)

    Corrina: Sorry. I was hoping it was one of those things where, if more people were aware of their tongues, I would feel less aware of mine. That’s not the case.

    Steve Shaw | Kindledude: Aaaand that’s why I could never pierce my tongue. Or actually maybe that would help. Then I could think about the piercing and not my tongue. Or I could just be aware of my little fingers, which is probably going to bug me tonight when I’m trying to fall asleep.

    absepa: Uh . . . I think you’re not so much having a weed flashback as getting lit right NOW! AND listening to “Kashmir.”

    flit: My tongue is pretty bored too. Be glad yours is boring. It could be hand-shaped.

    D at Seafoodpunch: I have to think every time I swallow ‘cuz of my big ol’ thyroid. But now this tongue business complicates everything. Can you perform Photoshop magic on my tongue and make it smaller?

    Regan: Well, good luck with that food tube. I guess you can start eating broccoli and spinach, ‘cuz you won’t care what anything tastes like.

    Tiggy: I don’t know! I don’t get the connection. Jamie Oliver—Naked Chef? With tongue?

  31. 31 Musingwoman

    I could’ve gone the whole rest of my life without seeing that picture and would’ve been totally okay with that.

    Musingwoman’s last blog post..Three words that begin with the letter "A"

  32. 32 Stephanie Barr

    One of my parents could not make the tongue tube, but I can’t remember which.

    I only know all this because my husband covets my r-rolling capability and he loves it when I purr but he can’t do it so it bothers him, too.

    All of my children can purr like pros.

    Hehe.

    Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..For Anonymous: Ba Zi Anyone?

  33. 33 Puglette

    i would love to join absepa and light it up! and i love led zeppelin!!! oh, if only i hadn’t had so much to drink on the day of the concert. i slept through the whole show! the only thing i got out of the led zeppelin concert was a creepy boyfriend.
    can i re-live the late 70′s?
    ;o)

    Puglette’s last blog post..Ollie Day!

  34. 34 Lola

    Just think of how much your doctor and the sleep study place charged your insurance, just to tell you that you have a flat throat and a mutant tongue. What use is this information, except that now you are constantly aware of your tongue, and what purpose does that serve? Doctors, don’t you just love them and they’re unnecessary or inappropriate testing? Then if a person goes in for a real unexplained problem, they do practically nothing and risk a persons life. I went to the ER 3 times, had a doctor send me for a 4th CT Scan when I had abdominal and back pain so bad I couldn’t stand up straight. And it turned out that a simple ultrasound diagnosed a problem that could have killed me, had it not been found in time. They ordered CT Scans because they are way more expensive than an ultrasound. If they took 2 and they found nothing, why would they order 2 more?

    Glad to know there is nothing serious wrong. I’d vote for the earplugs Dave also. Lol!

    Lola’s last blog post..If I Could Blog Back Time Thursdays!

  35. 35 dcr

    Thanks. Now I’m experiencing difficulty swallowing because I’m afraid I’ll swallow my tongue. Oh, sure, they say you can’t do that, but what do they know? I am now aware of my tongue. Or is my tongue self-aware? If my tongue is self-aware, will it resist being swallowed? What if I have a suicidal tongue? Could I swallow that? Worse, what if my tongue is homocidal? Will it try to kill me? If I choke and die on my own tongue, I’m blaming you.

    Of course, things could be worse. You could be this fish… Cymothoa exigua: Biting Your Tongue, So You Don’t Have To. Neat how that subtitle suits your blog…

    There. I think I have paid you back for making me aware of my tongue.

    dcr’s last blog post..How to Make, Like, a Gazillion Dollars Blogging

  36. 36 Jay

    Oh, yes. I am aware of my tongue, thanks. Have been very much aware of my tongue and all its attachments, bumpy bits, mobility (or not) etc since I had oral cancer. It was on the underside of my tongue and it tends to concentrate the mind! LOL!

    Big tongue? Tongue that starts too far back and flattens your throat? Pshaw, I say! You clearly have a great tongue (yes, pun intended) and you should be proud. Stick it out at people! Revel in your tonguely gifts!

    Snoring? Yep, ear plugs. As I keep telling my OH. I wear ‘em, because he snores. If he doesn’t like my snoring, there’s some extra (new) ones in my drawer. ;)

    By the way, I hope that isn’t your actual tongue in that picture up there, because that would be, you know, a little bit weird …

  37. 37 Nars

    I, for one, am quite happy being unaware of my tongue, unless it has that weird white growth. Or that weird black growth

    Nars’s last blog post..Yucca and Broken-off Seedpod, White Sands

  38. 38 Preston

    You know, some men would KILL for a longer tongue. Of course I have absolutely no idea why. *ahem* Anyway, if you have a chance, check out my latest post cause I could really use the help.

    Preston’s last blog post..Update: Andrew’s Fighting Cancer and Losing His Insurance

  39. 39 JD

    Musingwoman: Sorry ’bout that. It passed the “Junk Yard Kathy Gross-o-Meter,” so I thought it would be OK for the rest of y’all.

    Stephanie Barr: I thought everyone but me could purr. Now it’s me and your husband. What else do we have in common???

    Puglette: WHAT? You slept thru the concert?? When and where did you see them? Have you read my Led Zeppelin post (for I saw them too). Man, I would LOVE a joint right about now. And a blacklight poster.

    Lola: I agree—and I’m sorry you had to go thru medical hell. I guess the fact that I have an enlarged thyroid was some sort of justification for the CT scan, but I really could’ve skipped the sleep study. And yes, at the end of the day (as they say on all my favorite reality shows), I am fine. Mutated, but fine.

    Jay: Oh, my gosh! So many of y’all out there have real problems; I feel bad about my stupid tongue. But I will take your advice and be proud. And buy earplugs for Dave. And never complain about my flat throat again! (Oh, and hee!: “tonguely gifts”!)

    dcr: This is a lot of responsibility. You can’t swallow your tongue, but if it gives you trouble you can bite it in half, maybe. But then the bitten half might grow another half, like a worm, and kill you in the night. Just sayin’.

    Nars: Black growth? Ew. I’ve had the white and also the greenish. And probably yellow-gray. But never black. Are you sure that isn’t mold?

    Preston: Some women would KILL for a MAN with a longer tongue! And believe me, buster, I DO know why. But what good does it do me, especially when it’s all down my throat instead of sticking out? I AM ON MY WAY!!!!

  40. 40 Sarah

    So you have a freakishly long tongue…I had 5 wisdom teeth instead of 4. When I got them removed, my dentist said, “Its not a big deal. Lots of people have 5 wisdom teeth. Like cavemen.”

    Sarah’s last blog post..

  41. 41 Puglette

    It was a Day on the Green, Oakland Coliseum, Oakland CA. I believe it was 1979. It was the event where they got into a fight with Bill Graham’s guy. Newsworthy. But unfortunately I started drinking at 4am because of the stupid girl driving that day. She wanted to make sure we got a good spot on the grass and made us go really early. She was a concert newbie, I had many other shows under my belt and knew I could get where I wanted to be, but you had to go where your ride was going in those days.

    have you looked at wolfgang;s vault? they have tons of concerts from back then that you can download.

    i have many, many more concert experiences but my blog is a little tame for them. ;o) the San Francisco Bay Area in the 60′s and 70′s was a great place for a music fan.

    Puglette’s last blog post..Ollie Day!

  42. 42 Stephanie Barr

    I don’t know except he likes to wander around nude whenever he can.

    But he doesn’t snore. Ever.

    Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..Hey, More on Ba Zi

  43. 43 Stephanie Barr

    You know, it occurred to me that that last one might sound harsh, like there was something wrong with you that you snored.

    I’m definitely the noisiest snorer in the house.

    I think the reason he doesn’t snore is that he just doesn’t breathe at night. He’s completely under blankets and comforters, even his head.

    He must absorb oxygen all day and just use his stores at night.

    Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..Letting you in on my stolen book meme

  44. 44 misstfied

    Oh, yuk, that picture is totally creepy. Seriously, it gives me shudders, lol. I’ll admit it, I’m much more aware of my tongue now but, heck, I’d much rather be aware of my “own” tongue than be aware of that, that….”that” freakishly, grotesque thing in the picture anyday-of-the-week; “EWWWWWWW!”

    Dang, this is the first time I’ve ever seen a tongue that could use a…..manicure. ha ha

    misstfied’s last blog post..Dental Appointment…Anyone?

  45. 45 Mary @ Holy Mackerel

    Well, thank god it’s just a freakishly long tongue. Imagine if it were your arms, or one arm longer than the other, or perhaps a breast…now that would be awful.

    Mary @ Holy Mackerel’s last blog post..I Got The Job!

  46. 46 Kasandria Reasoner

    OMG I have been thinking of my toungue ever since I read this! Don’t worry I’m sure your husband likes it;)
    Kas

    Kasandria Reasoner’s last blog post..Freebies!!!

  47. 47 Baron von Rochester

    I started thinking of that Peanuts cartoon long before the end of your post, and was most amused to see it included.

    Baron von Rochester’s last blog post..Of Titular Confusion, the Vet, and an Inadmissible Longing

  48. 48 JD

    Sarah: HA! Now that is one funny dentist. I wonder if cavement had freak tongues. I bet they did. Do you think we’re related?

    Puglette: I’m sorry you slept thru it. I went to the April 1977 concert at the Stadium in Chicago, which was famously cut short because Jimmy Page was “sick.” It was a magical night nonetheless.

    Stephanie Barr: Well, maybe there’s a connection between being nude most of the time and not snoring. Maybe I should shed my clothes more during the day. I don’t think the cats would mind. (And no, it didn’t sound harsh!) And your explanation for your husband’s snoring makes perfect sense. Can he stay underwater for hours at a time?

    misstfied: I hope you didn’t have any nightmares about monster tongues. Although perhaps such a tongue could come in handy. Haven’t you ever had one of those itches between your inner ear and throat? Well, I bet a hand-tongue could scratch that for you!

    Mary @ Holy Mackerel: Ew! A mutant-freakish long breast. That would be weird. And I don’t know how you’d hide something like that. At least my shameful tongue is well hidden.

    Kasandria Reasoner: He does. And . . . he seems to like it more since reading this post. Weird.

    Baron von Rochester: I’m so glad you knew the Peanuts cartoon. It was the first thing I thought of after leaving the doctor’s office, and I was happy to find it online (tho I used to have the Peanuts Treasury). It’s one of my favorites.

  49. 49 Stephanie Barr

    He can, actually, way longer than I can. My son’s the same way.

    Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..Letting you in on my stolen book meme

  50. 50 Toni

    The picture is so creepy LOL. I have never heard of that, I wonder then if mine doesn’t begin back far enough because It is always pushing my top teeth instead of resting behind my lower ones. Okay now that i have shown I am a freak myself LOL you can feel much more normal :)

    Toni’s last blog post..Why WordPress and Because I Love You All

  51. 51 Christina

    This is so awful! I hope that you all will soon be well and you recover!

  52. 52 Jaffer

    OMG are you sure you and I were not in the same mutant gene pool at one time ?

    I was told a similar story by a doctor in India – that I had a wide tongue with a flabby beginning (according to his words in Gujarati)

    But I never liked that doctor and a second opinion instead blamed my sinus.
    Anywhoo – I have never been so interested in my tongue since – until I read this post.

    I hate you !

    (Just a bit that is)

    Jaffer’s last blog post..My second week in Temiskaming Shores

  53. 53 JD

    Stephanie Barr: That’s weird! I can stay under for about 5 seconds, then I start to panic.

    Toni: See, this is what comes of being aware of your tongue. Maybe you need to go thru a battery of tests just to be told you’re a mutant. Or maybe you already know that!

    Christina: I doubt I will ever recover. But thank you.

    Jaffer: Wow! We could be somehow related. I can’t think of any other reason why we would have the same type of tongue. I wouldn’t trust that 2d opinion — “a flabby beginning” sounds much more professional. Don’t worry: the tongue awareness wears off . . . sooner or later.

  54. 54 Florida Girl In Sydney

    You are so freaking funny.
    JD the Large Tongued Do-er.
    Doing things so we don’t have to.
    Super Hero with a Super Tongue.

    That was a poem for you, I think?

    Florida Girl In Sydney’s last blog post..Yeah, Mom– it’s soup alright.

  55. 55 JD

    Florida Girl In Sydney: That was a poem, and it’s filled me with joy. Thank you! The best poems don’t rhyme and always include the term “Super Tongue”!

  56. 56 Angelika

    You have a High Five from me HERE! :-)

    Angelika’s last blog post..High Five Friday- 5/29/09

  57. 57 JD

    Angelika: Woo! Thank you!

  58. 58 Michael

    Great absolutely love it! I have awareness of my Tongue on a regular basis; the biggest problem is where to put it in my rapidly shrinking mouth?! I also have a great awareness of blinking… I’m doing it now! It’s a weird sensation, have you blinked enough? But to top it all off, I have recently found out I’m allergic to Mangoes. MANGOES?! Seriously, I develop headaches after eating them; “stop eating them” I hear you say? I can’t help it, they taste great and I have to keep making sure I am still allergic.


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