I’m a Carnivore

And the flesh you so fancifully fry
Is not succulent, tasty, or kind

Isn’t it time you took your appetite on a romantic protein getaway?

No? Well, maybe you and your appetite are having relationship problems. It happens. But the Beef Industry wants you and your appetite to get it on, protein-style, with a little help from the vocal stylings of Matthew McConaughey. I’m sorry to tell you it involves lying side-by-side—with your appetite—under sirloin skies.

Please, just listen to this and tell me if that doesn’t get your appetite AND libido revved up.

OK, if you listened to that and it got your appetite and libido revved up, you’re insane. If, however, your reaction was the same as mine: utter gross-outedness, squealing noises (not the good kind), and the desire to rub sandpaper over your ears, then you and your appetite are probably going to be just fine.

Beef. It’s what’s for . . . bedtime? I dunno. Why the sexification of beef? McConaughey sounds like he’s enjoying his beef just a little too much ifyouknowwhatimean. Do you? I’m sorry, that was gross. But it’s weirdly innappropriate, this relationship with beef. Can’t us meat lovers just eat a damn hamburger, without actually having to go to The Land of Beef and gaze at rump roasts floating through the sky?

Yes, folks, there is, apparently, a Land of Beef. Check out these print ads showing various beef landscapes. Beef mountains, beef plains, beef cliffs. Really? I don’t like the thought of eating meat that people have been hiking over in their muddy boots.

I do love my meat (not like that), but believe it or not, I was actually a vegetarian for six months. It all started when I realized that the rack of ribs I was serving to a customer was nothing more than a ribcage on a plate. Say that phrase to yourself. Doesn’t sound too appealing, does it? (Maybe if you say it in a Matthew McConaughey voice . . . nope, doesn’t help.) Anyway, from that point on, I couldn’t eat any kind of meat that looked like a body part. And then I just stopped eating meat entirely.

But.

Do you know what is partially made of meat? Yes. Big Macs. Whoppers. Even Arby’s roast beef sandwiches are, I believe, at least meat-flavored. This was what I missed: junk food meat. And gradually, real meat followed, including, as the above photo illustrates, giant dripping hunks of bloody-rare prime rib.

So, yeah, I’m a meat-eater, but I’m certainly not militant about it. I believe there’s plenty of room on this planet for carnivores and herbivores. But in The Land of Beef, sadly, only carnivores need apply.

_____________________________

Why don’t you and your appetite make a humor getaway, instead?

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69 Comments


69 Responses to “I’m a Carnivore”

  1. 1 stephanie barr

    But what if we want to be a carnivore? My sister is vegan (I can’t imagine giving up cheese) and my daughter flirted with vegetarianism for the same reasons you did. I’m cool with those decisions, but I’m perfectly OK with eating meat.

    There’s a reason we’re at the top of the food chain.

    (I don’t, however, hunt.)

    stephanie barr’s last blog post..Why Manned Spaceflight is Such a good Match for Unmanned

  2. 2 Daisy the Curly Cat

    I LOVE meats! My new vet just started Harley and me on a grain-free diet. This means MORE MEATS! Yum.

    Daisy’s mom here: I have been a vegetarian for almost 20 years. I was never a big meat eater, but at a formal dinner once I ordered stuffed quail. When it arrived, it looked just like a tiny little Tweety Bird and I couldn’t eat it! Nowadays, they make great vegetarian foods and pretty much every restaurant serves vegetarian entrees.

    Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..Toysday with Harley

  3. 3 Woody

    Those landscape beef scenes are absolutely disgusting. Who could find that appetizing? My husband is a hard-core carnivore and even he thought they were disgusting!!

  4. 4 Canucklehead

    If God didn’t intend us to eat meat why would he/she have made it so delicious?

  5. 5 Jay

    I love meat. I’m happy to eat a meal composed entirely of meat and green vegetables, you can keep the carbs – which is fortunate, because that’s what puts weight on quickest for me. If I ditch the carbs, I stay fairly stable. If I were to eat vegetarian (not likely because of all my food sensitivities) I’d BALLOON!

    Anyway, as Flanders and Swann sang …

    ‘If the JuJu had meant us not to eat people, he wouldn’t have made us of meat!’

    Well, OK, I don’t eat people. As Stephanie Barr said, ‘there’s a reason we’re at the top of the food chain’. ;)

    Am I sounding insane yet? Because honestly, I really, honestly, truthfully didn’t find that Matthew McConnaughy thing at all sexy.

    So I’m not insane, right? :D

    Jay’s last blog post..Oh, my … Poor old Cutty Sark!

  6. 6 mlm

    Quoting a shirt I saw, “Meat is murder. Tasty, tasty murder”.

  7. 7 Angi

    I could be a vegetarian sooooooo easily…not because I have a problem with people eating meat, or even ribcages or haunches on plates…I just don’t like the taste of it. I like me a good hamburger on occasion, but the majority of my diet consists of vegetables/fruit/chicken and seafood.

    That said, however, those “meat landscapes” almost had me gagging…

    Angi’s last blog post..You Could Be Next!!!

  8. 8 ann of the gap tooth

    I prefer my meat sliced, diced, chopped, or nuggetized in order to disguise its origins. Now my husband…he adores meat. He’s happy with a slab/hunk of meat on the plate accompanied by a broccoli stalk. It’s a challenge to avert my eyes when I’m sitting across from him at the dinner table.

    Matthew can slip his sirloins under my bed anytime.

  9. 9 Jeff

    Holy COW that’s sucker is huge! What does a side of beef go for in that restaurant?!

    I hope you at least cut that in half, because putting all that in your mouth at once would be rude.

    Jeff’s last blog post..Closure

  10. 10 Maureen

    I am a borderline carnivore. I prefer vegges, but I know I can’t live without bacon (you hear that, Kathy?). I just try to PRETEND it’s not an animal I’m eating.

    Come to think of it, that doesn’t make me a borderline carnivore. It makes me a hypocrite.

    Crap.

    Maureen’s last blog post..Cat Scan

  11. 11 Tiggy

    Do you think I can still class myself as a vegetarian if I occasionally lick slices of ham when no-one is looking?

    I’m not eating it, more reminiscing.

    Tiggy’s last blog post..Beards Are Sexy And I Want One

  12. 12 Jaffer

    I mostly eat seafood. Fish is always stocked in my freezer along with packs of Atlantic shrimp. Throw in eggs and cereals and greens that’s ample source of protien and other nutrients. if I tell you.

    And I also ♥ beef ! Although I don’t buy and consume it as much as seafood.
    Fortunately today is the last day of fasting. And after listening to that ad, I feel like tomorrow I should celebrate with a big juicy brisket.

    Those ads almost make me dig my teeth into the screen. (drool)

    PS.
    Is “ann of the gap tooth” the same ann of the shampoo and the other ann of the cellphone bag ? These aliases are getting hard to keep track of.
    “ann of several interesting tales behind the junk drawer because whatever happens to her cannot be surpassed in hilarity by your story no matter how hard you try” should suffice I should think.

    Jaffer’s last blog post..My little world in Twitterverse – TweetDeck

  13. 13 Shieldmaiden96

    Until I moved to the land of If You Can Kill It, And We Will, We Will Eat It And It Shall Be Delicious, I was a vegetarian for two years. When I realized that I was still eating bricks of cheese over bags of nacho chips drowned with sour cream and salsa, I adopted a more moderate approach. We dont eat a lot of meat mostly because we can’t really afford it, but I need some meatylicious protein once in a while or I’m cranky, miserable, and hungry without it.

    Shieldmaiden96′s last blog post..Blogger’s Block

  14. 14 Tim

    Yeah, that whole ribcage thing. I used to butcher animals on the farm, and I’m not too fond of any parts that I can identify. After cutting up various animals, I would hate meat for weeks, then like you said, junk meat would entice me again. Of course, I couldn’t put a name to a meat flavoured burger.
    I read that book “Skinny Bitch” because my wife left it lying around, and for a few weeks I couldn’t eat anything that resembled a living creature’s parts either.
    It lasted a little while, and Nicole bought some veggie burgers, which I tried one of. It was around this time that we saw veggie wings in the grocery store. Now why do we have to shape our plant proteins like body parts? Can you get a vegetarian ribcage somewhere?
    Now I’m back to very small amounts of some animals, in completely processed forms of unrecognizability.

    Tim’s last blog post..I Do Things Like Send JD a Gift Basket!

  15. 15 Babs - beetle

    Oh my! That looks raw! All that blood would most definitely put me off! That is like eating into a cow! I at least have to well cook meat before I can eat it. Mind you, after reading this, I am thinking about animal body parts on my plate now :O(

    Babs – beetle’s last blog post..I don’t believe it!

  16. 16 ann of the gap tooth

    Jaffer! You found me. I am….. “ann of the many monikers”. Stay tuned for more tales of woe and hilarity, as it runs in my family.

  17. 17 ann of the gap tooth

    Oh, and Jaffer…..enjoy your first day of feasting after the fasting. You need to blog about everything you eat in the first 24 hours. I’ll be waiting…..

    This was a good time to read about eating meat, no?

  18. 18 Meat-eating Kathy of the Junk Drawer

    OK, this is going to put me in the minority (with my sister, ann of the gap tooth), but I love the sound of Mathew McConaughey’s voice. I don’t care for him as an actor, but he can talk to me about anything he wants. Meat, carburetors, U.S. tax code, string theory, whatever. Does. Not. Matter.

    Oh, and ann? I think you meant to say his tenderloins. Mmm-hmm.

    The beefscapes totally gross me out. The beach one is particularly troublesome because the “mountains” look like poo. I’m not wanting me some poo.

    resumes eating her lunch of leftover black angus roast with taters, carrots and onions. Nom nom nom!

    Meat-eating Kathy of the Junk Drawer’s last blog post..Fangy McFang No More

  19. 19 Blaine Fridley

    “Even Arby’s roast beef sandwiches are, I believe, at least meat-flavored.”

    ha…well put.

    Blaine Fridley’s last blog post..The Diary of Fools Accu-Weather Forecast with Meteorologists Fat Joe and Lil’ Wayne

  20. 20 Stephanie in KY

    That’s just….ewww. And I mean the too-much-meat-talk part and the Matthew McConaughey part, since I don’t find him at all attractive. I mean, he put WAY too much emphasis on the word “t-bone” in one of those ads for my comfort. And the photos! The “mountain” one had some really suspicious-looking sauce on it. I’m not a much of a meat fan to begin with, particularly if it’s just a big hunk of meat on a plate, but that may have put me over the edge. I prefer it in sandwich form with lots of bun and toppings so I can kind of forget what I’m eating. (Except for bacon. Bacon is delicious.) I am, however, simply gleeful at the thought of sending the link for those disgusting photos to my vegetarian sister!

  21. 21 Natural

    Okay I listened to it, but only because you told me to and no my appetite is not revved up and my other half is always on stand-by.

    I don’t want to get it on protein style JD (me whining). I not a fan of meat, with bones, well um, animals, uh four legged-ones.

    MM is not even all that sexy to me, he can be cute in the right lighting, like when they’re off. He does sound like he’s master of his domain. Urp.

    I eat meatless on most nights, except maybe 4 times a month and even then, I can’t chew it too long or I’ll get grossed out, which may explain why I’m no good at masticating.

    Ask me how many times did I put my hand over my mouth while reading this, even though somehow you made it funny!

    Hand over mouth? 12 times. Eyes rolled in back of head? Once. This post? Priceless.

    Natural’s last blog post..Do Excuses Negate Responsibility?

  22. 22 JD

    stephanie barr: Oh, you can be a carnivore! I’m just sayin’ . . . I’m happy to do it for you. No, I can’t imagine giving up cheese either. And please don’t talk to me about rice cheese or soy cheese. Or hunting.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: I’m so glad you and your mom can live harmoniously as carnivore and herbivore. Would you be able to eat a quail, Daisy?

    Woody: I know, right! How is that going to make me hungry for a steak? Especially the one with the little leafy things . . . growing (?) . . . out of the meat? WHAT?

    Canucklehead: I agree. There has to be a reason it tastes so good. Otherwise, wouldn’t God have made animals out of soy?

    Jay: Rest assured: you are NOT insane! Evidence: you don’t eat people, you love meat, and you did not find the MM ad sexy. I do wonder about your ability to forego carbs, tho. Steak and baked potato? Hamburger and fries? Arby’s Beef ‘n Cheddar and potato cakes? How do you separate those?

    mlm: HA! I love that. And I also love the song “Meat Is Murder.” Hmmm. I’m a little conflicted.

    Angi: Boy, given your feelings about meat, I should think you’d find those beef landscapes rather gross. I feel the same about chicken. It has to be prepared a certain way; I’m VERY picky. I cannot eat those packaged chicken “tenders” or eat chicken that I’ve seen in its raw state.

    ann of the gap tooth: Oh, my! You know, I liked MM some time ago, but lately he’s kind of been skeeving me out, and this beef nonsense has capped it for me. Mmm. Slab/hunk of meat . . .

    Jeff: Check out the place for yourself! http://www.bynumssteakhouse.com/ According to their menu, the prime rib is $25.95. I go there every time I visit my aunt, who lives nearby. But lately I’ve been getting the filet. It’s a lot easier to fit in my mouth whole.

    Maureen: Oh, well. “Borderline carnivore” does sound much better. And it really is hard to believe that bacon comes from an animal, right? Juicy, crispy, greasy bacon. Surely it’s good for us!

    Tiggy: Oh, go on! Licking doesn’t count. It has to actually be ground up and sent down your esophagus to count. Just make sure no one really is looking. Other people might not be so tolerant.

    Jaffer: HA! Oh, you’re funny! I like your suggestion to “ann of the many names,” but I do enjoy seeing what she’ll come up with next. I like seafood, too, but, as with chicken, I almost never prepare it right. I know shrimp is pretty foolproof; I have some in my freezer right now. Maybe I’ll throw it into my pasta tonight. AND, perhaps if I had been fasting for 10 days, those beef pictures would look good, but as of today: BLEEUURRRGGH!

    Shieldmaiden96: Wow, you live in a violent land! I’m glad you’re able to get some meaty goodness now and then, at least. I can assure you, if I had to kill my own meat, I’d be eating your “Cheese Brick Nachos” for every meal. It sounds delicious!

    Tim: Oh, god, I’m dying here. That was hilarious. You owe the public a post on your own blog about “processed forms of unrecognizability.” And as long as we’re talking about shaping our soy into little fishies and wings, how about the McRib? Now that is a weird phenomenon. Rib meat, ground up, and shaped to look like a ribcage. Hmmm. I want one!

    Babs – beetle: I’m sorry. Why don’t you play the Matthew McConaughey commercial, and be whisked away to the Land of (Well-done Beef)? I agree: it’s pretty rare. And for all I know, it was like biting into a cow. I’m sorry, cows!

    ann of the gap tooth: YAY! I’m so glad you comment here! And I agree: I want to read Jaffer’s food log titled “Food Log: The First 24 Hours”!

    Meat-eating Kathy of the Junk Drawer: Oh, man! HA! OK. Now, seriously, don’t you think he sounds a bit creepy in that commercial? I’ve always liked him and thought he had kind of a sexy accent, but he just goes TOO FAR! As for your astute observation that ann of the loins should have said “tender loins,” survey says: 100%!

    Blaine Fridley: Well, I can’t believe that’s really meat. But it sure does taste good! Sometimes. . . unless you get the “heel.”

    Stephanie in KY: SEND THEM! Not that I have anything against vegetarians. But I’m sure she’d get a chuckle out their grossness. Does anyone here NOT love bacon? I think it’s unanimous, almost. That hunk of meat I’m eating in the photo is not my normal dinner: I usually only do that once a year at a restaurant that specializes in MEAT. Otherwise, I’m like you. Not too meaty, please.

    Natural: Oh, boy. I’m glad you didn’t throw up while reading this. The combo of meat and MM might be too much for some people. You’re description of having to chew meat too long brought back horrible memories of eating tough cube steak as a kid. Man, that stuff took forever to chew. Not all meat is good, for sure.

  23. 23 Regan

    Mmmmmm, this is making me hungry. Maybe not for meat, but for much much food. Maybe popcorn. Or cheese. I enjoy cheese, but only those little round babybel cheeses.

  24. 24 Fancy

    I could always go for a good steak. Is it wrong that hearing Matthew’s sexy voice talking about it left me strangely tingly?

    Fancy’s last blog post..This is pretty funny

  25. 25 Broadwaymatron

    Okay if the voice-over thing was not bad enough, those print ads were gross and off-putting to the extreme.

    Broadwaymatron’s last blog post..All Riiiight!

  26. 26 Jaffer

    LOL ! Fasting does not mean I was off food all this time ! I only skipped lunch ;)

    Besides, I don’t think I’ll feel like feasting tomorrow – it’ll feel odd to start eating in the daytime again.

    Just give me a few more days. I’m sure there is a dinner invitation in the mail somewhere.

    Jaffer’s last blog post..My little world in Twitterverse – TweetDeck

  27. 27 Susan

    We had pork chops for dinner and my daughter wanted to know where they came from. I told her from a pig. She responded “I know that, I mean what part of the pig?” So obviously so far she has no issues with eating the flesh of animals.

    At my office we’ve taken to referring to ourselves as meatatarians whenever eating lots of red meat at lunch.

    Susan’s last blog post..I Never Win Anything

  28. 28 Corrina

    I was a vegetarian for about a year, once upon a time. I admire them very much, but it’s just not for me.

    I just ordered a rib cage from Outback Steakhouse not 5 minutes ago, but the way. LOL…

    Corrina’s last blog post..My Hotness Is Fierce

  29. 29 Jinksy

    While the Matthew McConaughey thing is a bit disturbing, its a natural jerk reaction to the PETAs of the world who use attractive naked women to push their warped agenda.

    Naked vegan chicks want KFC closed down.
    Naked vegan chicks want Ben & Jerrys ice cream to use breast milk.
    Naked vegan chicks don’t like horse racing or animals pullling wagons or animals fighting or…..well, you get the point.

    Meat-eaters everywhere need to revolt and say “I will eat this Big Mac, and you can shut your frickin’ yap.”

    Ummm……am I still standing on my soapbox?

    Jinksy’s last blog post..George W. Bush Vs. A Taco

  30. 30 Florida Girl In Sydney

    When I get back to the U.S. I’m going to eat a nice steak– they just aren’t the same in Australia. And thanks for making me miss normal bacon too. Oh man.

    Florida Girl In Sydney’s last blog post..Flip Flop Friends with Benefits

  31. 31 kouji

    ribcage on a plate? :O rather effective line, for convincing people to stay away from meat… :O

    kouji’s last blog post..halimbawa ng haiku

  32. 32 jennyonthespot

    Oh yeah – that Matthew Mc – whatever sure does make beef sound sexy.

    jennyonthespot’s last blog post..Looking for input… who’s got an opinion?

  33. 33 gWallet

    Whoa nelly! Don’t get me wrong, I as well love a good steak and potatoes, but putting a tasty rack of ribs in the context of a ribcage on a plate really killed my appetite. And why dear God, why is the Cattlemen’s Beef Board and National Cattlemen’s Beef Association making print ads of mountains and valleys of beef slabs. Talk about a turn OFF! And get McConaughey outta there, last time I checked Sam Elliot wasn’t dead, and may very well be our last remaining cowboy.

    gWallet’s last blog post..STEVANA CASE JOINS fatfoogoo EXECUTIVE TEAM

  34. 34 Jenny

    I love me some meat! But Matthew McConaghey is GROSS and his voice is highly overrated (by HIM) and whoever thought up that ad campaign is just plain WEIRD.

    Jenny’s last blog post..AHHHHHHHCTOBER!

  35. 35 JD

    Regan: I do quite like those babybel cheeses too. Maybe you could melt one on a hamburger?

    Fancy: Yes. Yes, it is wrong. But maybe you need to define “strangely tingly.” Do you mean “strangely nauseously tingly”? Because that would be OK.

    Broadwaymatron: RIGHT! MM and the ads are making me want to visit the Land of Seafood or the Land of Fried Chicken. ANYwhere but the Land of Beef!

    Jaffer: OK, our bad! But “fasting” just has an ominous ring to it. Skipping lunch? Not so ominous. It’s probably not a good idea to start stuffing food in your face immediately after your fast. But please let us know the details of your first feast.

    Susan: Heh. I like “meatatarians.” And your daughter is already a proud member. Um . . . where do pork chops come from? The leg? The haunch?

    Corrina: HAR! Did you ask specifically for a ribcage? I hear you can get a full or half “cage.” (I just grossed myself out). I admire vegetarians too. I think we’d all be a lot healthier and the planet would thank us, but dang. I just love my meat.

    Jinksy: I’m just a tad intimidated by naked vegan chicks. I’m not sure I could tell one to shut her frickin’ yap, tho I do feel passionately about my right to eat a Big Mac (did you know I can eat 2 in 1 sitting?) I wouldn’t mind seeing KFC closed down, but please for the love of god! No breast milk in Ben & Jerry’s!

    Florida Girl in Sydney: So what is Australian bacon like? I remember when I lived in Ireland being totally faked out by what they called bacon. And no normal steaks? What about burgers? Come back now!

    kouji: Yeah, I think so too. I mean, one minutes it’s a perfectly delicious slab of ribs and the next minute: RIBCAGE ON A PLATE!

    jennyonthespot: Brrrrrr. I don’t need my beef to be sexy. I just want it to taste good!

    gWallet: YES! YES! Sam Elliot! He is the typical Western cowboy manly beef guy. I want him back, too. MM can rhapsodize about the virtues of surfing and bongs and going shirtless. Leave the beef to the MEN!

    Jenny: Hear, hear! Now tell us how you really feel!

  36. 36 Meg

    I’m a born-again meat eater. Had to go to Atkins because all that beer–carbs–was taking a toll.

    I miss my corn chips.

    Meg’s last blog post..The Lion Sleeps and So Does My Creativity

  37. 37 Stephanie in KY

    JD, you even crack me up in your comment responses! “MM can rhapsodize about the virtues of surfing and bongs and going shirtless. Leave the beef to the MEN!” That’s comedy gold, I tells ya.

  38. 38 stephanie barr

    I wonder if I’m the only one that wonders about the connection this post might have to your last one, with brain-eating zombies?

    Anything?

    (If the PETA folks weren’t quite so militant and hard-nosed, I would be considerably more sympathetic. Breast milk ice cream? Who’s feeding the babies? Have they never heard a starving infant? Who’s going to deal with the pissed cows with udders about to burst? For that matter, who expects ice cream to be healthy? Who put this soapbox under my feet? Better get that back to Jinksy…)

    stephanie barr’s last blog post..Tribute to Sinfest

  39. 39 Athena

    I dont eat ribs because of that exact description! I just cant think of it any other way. I do eat meat, I just dont like to think about it!

    Also – those meat landscapes TOTALLY grossed me out. Yuck!

    Athena’s last blog post..6 days and counting

  40. 40 Singular Girl

    Those ads pushed me even further over the edge into vegetarianism- I’ve been a pescatarian/vegetarian for a little over a year now. I can’t give up my unadulterated ♥ for sushi or cheese which is why I am not a true vegetarian or vegan for that matter.

    It’s not that I didn’t like meat- it’s just that I couldn’t handle seeing one more video of the inhumane processes used to kill the animals in the slaughterhouses as well as knowing that the majority of grain goes to feed livestock despite the fact that more than 800 million people are suffering from hunger and malnutrition. Ok, now I’m stepping off my soapbox.

    Singular Girl’s last blog post..Frying up Heart Disease and Corny Dogs

  41. 41 Cindy Lietz, Polymer Clay Tutor

    Wow that is some serious Beef you’ve got going on there!

    Cindy Lietz, Polymer Clay Tutor’s last blog post..Making Round Beads with Hollow Centers for Fimo Clay Jewelry Projects

  42. 42 JD

    Meg: Aw. That sad little “I miss my corn chips” really got to me. So much so that I had to stuff some Fritos in my face. You’re not missing anything.

    Stephanie in KY: HA! Thanks. You agree with me, right? Beef just isn’t safe with MM. He’s sexifying it too much!

    stephanie barr: Ooh, you’re good! Maybe The Beef Council, or whatever it’s called, can come up with a better ad campaign using zombies. Brains! It’s what’s for dinner! Keep passing that soapbox around. Y’all are hilarious!

    Athena: I’m glad I’m not the only one turned off—WAY off—by those beefy landscapes. So bizarre and unappetizing. I do have to confess that I got over my rib problem. I can now eat ribs but only at my favorite restaurant.

    Singular Girl: No, no, you’re absolutely right. If anything is going to push me into vegetarianism, it’ll be more Matthew McConaughey commercials PLUS the thought of the inhumane slaughterhouses. That is just sad, sick stuff.

    Cindy Lietz, Polymer Clay Tutor: Boy, do I know it! I’m making another trip to visit my aunt (who lives near the restaurant with the giant prime rib), so I may be taking more photos.

  43. 43 SpaceMonkey

    Haha, great post! By the way I gave you a blog award in my post today :)

    http://spacemonkey-spacelog.blogspot.com/

    SpaceMonkey’s last blog post..Recipe for Awesomeness

  44. 44 Rajf9598

    As far as I’m concerned you can never eat to much meat, pork, beef chicken but having said that that meat landscape did make me feel a little ill. Love your work keep it up

    Rajf9598′s last blog post..Ben and Jerry, P.E.T.A, Boobies and Ice Cream

  45. 45 chat blanc

    the ads are ridiculous! the only meat I want Matthew selling me on is HIS beefy bod! yummy! ;)

    chat blanc’s last blog post..World domination

  46. 46 Babs - beetle

    Even though your bloody meat (and that isn’t a profanity) makes me feel sick, I have still awarded you something on my blog – ‘coz I’m like that ;O)

    Babs – beetle’s last blog post..A double boost award!

  47. 47 Mike Foster

    All I can say is, thanks for eating that monster steak so I didn’t have to…considering I’m a vegetarian.

    peace,
    mike
    livelife365

    Mike Foster’s last blog post..Streeeeeetch Your Life

  48. 48 JD

    Rajf9598: Thanks! And thanks for stopping by. Yeah, I agree: Those beefy landscapes were enough to make me eat only pasta for a few days (but then a delicious hamburger came my way, and my knees weakened).

    chat blanc: Wow! OK, you got MM all to yourself, I think. Just don’t let him talk you into branding anything.

    Babs – beetle: Oooh, goodie! Me and my bloody meat are on our way!

    Mike Foster: You are so welcome. Please feel free to come to me with any future meat-eating needs.

    SpaceMonkey: Wheee! Thanks! I’m on my way . . . !

  49. 49 Nichole

    I have the exact same problem as you did-I always think of meat as an actual body part. I hear “rump roast” and I literally think of gnawing on some one’s rump. Uck. I can’t eat chicken, either. Not fried chicken anyway. It’s all veiny and stuff. Umm, ew? I could easily become a vegetarian if it weren’t for ground beef.

    Nichole’s last blog post..Say goodbye to maternity jeans!

  50. 50 Classical Chick

    Okay. I’ve never been a vegetarian, but I’m seriously close after clicking your links. Especially the landscapes are totally off-putting. How can it be possible to make an ad that works this brilliantly AGAINST what you’re trying to promote? Please perform a lobotomy on my head so I can forget I saw this.

    (Worst part is: I’ll revisit your blog)

    Classical Chick’s last blog post..Aaaarrrgghhhh!!!

  51. 51 stephanie barr

    Classical Chick,

    I was on a post once that was so bad, including the comment thread, that more than one person demanded a mind scrubber.

    Do you think that might help you?

    I like to use it after certain political commentary.

    stephanie barr’s last blog post..People Are Crazy!

  52. 52 JD

    Nichole: I hear you about the chicken. I canNOT eat chicken I’ve prepared in its raw state, because of the gross, bloody veins. I know they’re there when I eat chicken someone else prepared, but I didn’t see them. Thank god for ground beef, tho I do find rump roast delicious (and it doesn’t really look like a rump!)

    Classical Chick: I’m not a board-certified doctor, but if it’ll help, I’ll do the lobotomy. I think you just stick a knife in one of the eyeballs, right? Well, regardless, I’m glad you plan to return. I promise: no more beefy landscapes.

    stephanie barr: Oh, dear. I’d hate to think all y’all are going to need lobotomies after reading my beef post!

  53. 53 Elle

    Oh my, it seems the Beef People’s ad agency has been smokin’ doobie with Matthew McConaughey yet again. “Okay, Dude, we’ll build, like landscapes of FLESH, yeah, MOUNTAINS of meat…”" Yeah, awesome.. But couldn’t we just take pics of Pam Anderson?” (smoke-filled room collapses in snorting laughter…) “Wait, I wanted to say something… It’s gone…” (More laughing, crying, snorting and crying) Then they did the photo shoot, then they ate the photo shoot.

    On another note, prime rib, YUM.

    Elle’s last blog post..Four Foods on Friday #49

  54. 54 JD

    Elle: HA! That explains everything. In fact, it’s the ONLY explanation. “And then they ate the photo shoot.” Yeah. You’d have to be stoned to do that.

  55. 55 bagsmerchant

    Well I guess I am one of those who can’t live without meat.Meat…Ewwww…is my favorite!But my advantage is I know how to control the quantity.Never abuse~enjoy it!

  56. 56 JD

    bagsmerchant: “Meat . . . Ewwwww . . . is my favorite!” Well put, my friend. And yes, you don’t ever want to make a pig of yourself (see photo at top).

  57. 57 flit

    my kid gave up on the vegetarian thing for the same reason you did…. mcDs, Burger King, Taco Bell, etc… she did boycott chicken for several years after an incident on a farm …but she’s over that now too

    flit’s last blog post..More about online courses

  58. 58 JD

    flit: Yeah . . . I sometimes wonder why some people are able to “get over it” (as I did) and others stay off the meat for good. I guess it’s easier if you’re not a junk-food junkie.

  59. 59 Blair

    I’ve been omnivorous my whole life without any serious flirtation with vegetarianism… I don’t let the images of animals or body parts bother me when I’m eating meat though — I don’t know why — maybe there’s something wrong with me. I think it’s better that way, though, than say, someone like my mother, who eats meat but gets all upset if you remind her that it came from an animal while she’s eating it. Hypocritical, if you ask me.

  60. 60 JD

    Blair: No, I’d say you have a very healthy attitude about your omnivorousness. I don’t really have the body part problem any more. If I did, how could I eat the delicious, succulent rib(cage) at Gale Street Inn?

  61. 61 Fun Adult

    So are the meat landscapes actual meat or a drawing? I thought it was a bit weird, yet entertaining.

  62. 62 JD

    Fun Adult: That’s a good question. I’d love to see the set designer assigned that task. “Make me a meat cliff.” Weird, yes. Entertaining? Hmmm. Also yes.

  63. 63 Tim

    That’s the problem, those of us who see vivid pictures of that rib(cage) still being used by it’s original owner!

    Tim’s last blog post..Ribcage: It’s What’s For Dinner!

  64. 64 Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations

    OK I’ll just admit it. As a lame, resolve-challenged soyhead I not only feel inferior to carnivores, I feel downright threatened. For instance, in your photo of the um, whatever it is you’ve successfully stalked to death, it’s all I can do to focus on the lemon hanging off your ice tea, in the name of calming myself. That is just a lemon isn’t it?
    Carnivores: I find myself looking over my shoulder constantly when *they* are around. Yes I know *they* are are around, statistically speaking, almost all damn day long. What to do?… I seek tempeh solace usually in vain. Party on.

    Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations’s last blog post..Zodiac Matches for Men Born Under the Pig Sign

  65. 65 Myron Tay

    Thats a beautiful piece of meat. :P~~~ Well, I always believe that since cows are vegans, and we eat cows.

    That is nothing more than eating processed vegetables.

    Myron Tay’s last blog post..Test

  66. 66 JD

    Tim: Oh, man! I just now noticed your recent post title! That’s hilarious. I’m behind on my blog reading, but I’m a hit yours up as soon as I can.

    Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations: Oh, dear. We’re all friendly, peaceful carnivores here, I assure you. (And yes, that is an innocent lemon.) I have often yearned to seek the peaceful alternative of a tofu cube, but my teeth find the texture too yielding. They were made to rip and tear. Am I scaring you? I swear: I’m only a carnivore NOT an omnivore.

    Myron Tay: Sir, I like the way you think! Now bring me that can of peas and a bottle of steak sauce!

  67. 67 Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations

    JD: “Am I scaring you? I swear: I’m only a carnivore NOT an omnivore.”

    I believe that’s exactly the end of the last speech my final girlfriend gave me before I settled down and got married in a fit of equal parts conviction and naivete. Thanks for the memories.

    Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations’s last blog post..Zodiac Matches for Men Born Under the Pig Sign

  68. 68 JD

    Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations: Oh, boy. I’ll just shut up now. Here I thought I was being reassuring.

  69. 69 Isis

    Can i take leftovers home please?? Looks delicious :p


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