What a lovely, lovely picture
You’re my treasured work of art

draw good

So, as you may recall, there was this contest at I Do Things regarding candy bars. There were also interminable videos featuring some stupid camera effects and lots of nervous twitching. There was soap. There was poorly cued music.

But most important, there were winners. Four of them, to be precise, and if you didn’t know there were four, then YOU didn’t watch all the videos!

Tho I can hardly blame you.

Anyway, as the winners checked in to claim their prizes, I offered an alternative in case they really didn’t care to have a melted, smashed candy bar show up on their doorstep. If you don’t want the candy bar, I said, I will put your ad in my sidebar for a week. If you don’t have a button, I will make one for you!

All accepted the candy bar eagerly.

All but one.

I suspect she’s regretting her choice.

I was sure I could design a button. How hard can it be? Plop in the name of the site and throw in some color and graphics, right?

Her response to my offer to create an ad was as follows:


I trust you implicitly.

Aw. It’s nice to be trusted. I went to work and created the ad. Hmm! I thought. Not great, but not bad, really. I bet she’ll like it.

Her response:

You know what? I think I should make a button anyway. I will get one to you soon.

Yours is AWESOME, but this is a perfect excuse for me to just make a button already.

Oh. OK. Gotchya. No problem. Really. No big deal. She did say “awesome.” I’m sure she’s not just being polite

She e-mailed me her button, and it was fine and everything, but it BUGGED me, because it wasn’t 125 x 125. It HAS to be 125 x 125, doesn’t it? So I messed around with it a bit. Surely she would see how superior mine was to her original.

SERIOUSLY, no offense. I just like consistency.

OK! Geez! But shouldn’t it be a bit bigger? I enlarged it, which had the unfortunate effect of making it all blurry. Still. Bigger, right?


Smaller. Don’t you love how I’m all “WHATEVER, SERIOUSLY” and then have opposing/definite opinions?

Yeah, I “love” it. Anything else, your highness?

Before you get the wrong idea, I love this woman. We both thought it was pretty funny that what started as “I trust you implicitly” ended up as “I’ll do it myself, thank you very much!”

Regardless, I get the message. I am not a graphic designer. Not even of simple blog buttons. Don’t believe me? Here’s the final product:


And here’s what I created:


I didn’t even spell her NAME right!

I’m waiting to see if she comments on this post. I’m sure she’ll suggest a few revisions.

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43 Responses to “I Will Stick to My Day Job”

  1. 1 Grace

    No offense – but I really like YOURS better – just fix the spelling of the lady’s name and it’s good to go…Cheers!
    .-= Grace´s last blog ..Not feeling all that well so sticking with pet pics and other oddments =-.

  2. 2 Bernie

    Everyone knows that folks who are creative, march to their own drummer. You spelled her name wrong? You were giving her a little flair. All girls in H.S. find ways to write their name. You were just keeping her young. Reminding her of her youth. *lol*

    I cannot believe that folks don’t want a squished up, melted candy bar or a bar of used soap, etc. Wow! They took free ads on a well read blog? Go figure.
    .-= Bernie´s last blog ..Pimping Cats To Win A Dog Fence =-.

  3. 3 carissajade

    I think you did a really good job! Much better than I could do anyway. Well the name def. needs to be changed. Or not. Maybe she just needs to change the way she spells her name….
    .-= carissajade´s last blog ..And in the end… it was the beginning =-.

  4. 4 absepa

    I like your button! I tried for a week or so to make one when I was using Entrecard, but every attempt sucked. Unfortunately, my ideas>my graphic design skillz, by a factor of about a million.
    .-= absepa´s last blog ..One burger, please hold the interrogation =-.

  5. 5 Stephanie Barr

    I am also graphically challenged (not that I though either button looked bad). I just go to flit and say, “flit, I know you’re going for your Ph.D and renting out multiple residences and traveling for hours each week as you study and write papers and teach a completely unrelated class and have a life of your own and such but could you fix my f’ed up graphics ’cause I suck royally?”

    flit, instead of saying, “Are you kidding me?” will either say “Yeah, I can do that,” or “No I can’t.” Not that it makes the slightest bit of difference. If she says she can, she will and it will be PERFECT and GORGEOUS. If she says she can’t, she’ll change her mind as soon as she sees my pathetic attempts actually in place. And do it anyway.

    The banner on Rockets and Dragons, she’ll be fixing it. She already told me.

    Damn, I’m so lucky.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..Keep Your Details Straight =-.

  6. 6 dcr

    I liked yours better too, except for the misspelling and the font. Since you’re not a professional graphic designer, you get a pass on the font, but, considering your day job, I can’t give you a pass on the misspelling. ;)

    Anyway, I vote for yours. It stands out more.

    Wait, this wasn’t up for a vote, was it? Oh well, I vote anyway. What do we win for voting?
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Snow-Covered Dancing Monkeys Wearing Shirts that are Orange =-.

  7. 7 Pricilla

    I am a graphically challenged goat.

    I also noted the use of soap in your many videos. And it was not my rich soap. Harumph!

    The publicist is also baaaad. She even tried to read Photoshop for dummies but she must be a moron because she didn’t get it.
    .-= Pricilla´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

  8. 8 Spot

    Um. I can’t make buttons. I’m impressed with both of them.

    I’m still trying to find those candy bars. They don’t sell them anywhere close to me!!

    .-= Spot´s last blog ..Dear Blockbuster…we are over! =-.

  9. 9 LJ

    If it makes you feel any better – you can make my button anytime.

    And you know what they say about buttons – Your family knows how to push your buttons because they’re the ones who installed them.
    .-= LJ´s last blog ..To Afraid to Party, Eh! =-.

  10. 10 babs - beetle

    Now, here’s the thing. I AM a graphic designer, therefore I’m not sure if I should comment at all, but I will. All I can say is – “JD, top marks for trying” Don’t tell ‘Ann’s Rants’ but I would make alterations to both. What do you mean “she’s reading this”? ;)
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Pride goes before a fall =-.

  11. 11 ann

    So what you gonna do with that 4th candy bar then huh? ….lol I had to ask.
    .-= ann´s last blog ..From my desk =-.

  12. 12 Bingo

    Both are cool but I prefer yours because of the colors and the design, it seems that you spent a lot of time making it.
    .-= Bingo´s last blog ..Marriage Ref settles couple’s arguments =-.

  13. 13 maggie

    I was so focused on NOT wanting the used soap to arrive in the mail that I somehow missed the fact that you offered an ad! I did watch ALL of the videos, I promise!

  14. 14 Chris@TheSnackHound

    Baby blocks…and beer? Is that supposed to be a bottle of refreshing Vernor’s soda or is that a Lager? Are those jellybeans in the middle? I like it because it has enough variable elements to make someone look twice. It makes me either wonder if you have a very random mind or what is up with Ann? Beer…baby blocks…sounds like a party…
    .-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Grandma Want a Cracker? =-.

  15. 15 Ann's Rants

    Um..not really me.


    So, um, I’m not a designer AT ALL either.

    Just apparently an ungrateful giveaway recipient.


    (backing out the side door)


    p.s. I cackled several times very much out loud at this post.
    .-= Ann’s Rants´s last blog ..Ramona Age 36 =-.

  16. 16 Lola

    I like the ‘flair’ on your badge. Is that a beer bottle in the upper right corner? Lol!

    Hey! Come ask me a question!
    .-= Lola´s last blog ..Hey! Ask Me A Question! Please? =-.

  17. 17 Lin

    Is that a beer bottle in the corner???! Oops, I see Lola wrote the same thing! Oh well, I guess we both think alike. Scary.

    I like yours better, but don’t tell Ann. Anne. Ane. Annnnnne. Whatever.
    .-= Lin´s last blog ..The Metaphorical Robe =-.

  18. 18 Surfie

    Are you remembering fondly when I let you make MY button for me? :) And all you had to do was add my blog name to my avatar picture. Life used to be so simple back in the good ole days.
    .-= Surfie´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Stairway to Heaven? =-.

  19. 19 trade show displays guru

    hi JD,
    Any button with a bottle of beer on it, even if it isn’t a Red Stripe, is still a great button!
    Steve, the long-lost, red-stripe-drinking trade show guru :D
    .-= trade show displays guru´s last blog ..Trade Show Outboarding =-.

  20. 20 Daisy the Curly Cat

    The combo of the beer and jelly beans is very cool. I was looking at the blocks, and I thought the letters on the sides were “J” and “D”. That seemed a little bit suspicious, but I guess it is actually a T and a D.
    .-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..Clothes for the Working Mancat! =-.

  21. 21 Your Daily Cute

    Maybe you should just go ahead and send her a candy bar anyway… Just sayin.
    .-= Your Daily Cute´s last blog ..Big Doggie Thinks He’s a Cat! =-.

  22. 22 Kathy

    Well, at least you can be happy in the knowledge that you played an integral part in my own blog logo. Remember? You took a picture of the “R” in “Drawer?” It’s an awesome “R” if I must say so myself.

  23. 23 JD

    Grace: You are too kind. So what’s your favorite part? The jellybeans? The awesome font?

    Bernie: “Flair”!!! YES! That was it. Everyone needs a little flair. I should’ve put a heart or a star in there somehow. Believe me, that fourth candy bar found a good home.

    carissajaded: You’re right. Why can’t people be more flexible? “Ann” or “Anne” — they both sound the same.

    absepa: I’m the same way. I saw it in my head . . . but something got lost in the translation. I can draw exactly one thing, and that is a sleeping cat. Otherwise, hire a professional.

    Stephanie Barr: Ahhh, flit, you say?! Did she do your Ask Me Anything graphics? I like those a lot. makes note to self to e-mail flit for next button emergency

    dcr: The font is pretty obnoxious. Maybe it could’ve used a few dancing monkeys that are orange? Thank you for the vote! You win . . . a free button?

    Pricilla: I’m sorry! It was all my mom had access to on short notice. Believe me, I would have MUCH preferred one of your beautiful soaps. Next time I’ll try to plan ahead.

    Spot: And after I got all cocky about how they were popping up everywhere, suddenly they’ve disappeared! Winners! Return your candy bars!

    LJ: Aw, thank you. And, yes, that is SO true about buttons and families. THANKS, MOM!

    babs – beetle: Thank you for the top marks (for trying). I was mortified at the thought of you seeing my shameful efforts. But it was too funny not to share. Ann(e) and I agreed it would make a good post.

    ann: Oh, you HAVE to know where that candy bar is! The second Ann(e) passed on it . . . well, it was fast and painless.

    Bingo: Thank you. Yes, I did spend rather a lot of time on it. More time than is evident, I’m afraid!

    maggie: I believe you! I thought I offered everyone in an e-mail. Your candy bar is in the mail, but let me know if you want an ad too. You deserve it for watching all four videos!

    Chris@TheSnackHound: God, I don’t know. Ann(e) writes about being a mom, but she does other fun stuff too. And she sounds kind of stressed. I guess I thought she’d like an off-label beer. Bad call.

    Ann(e)’s Rants: Geez, this kind of backfired! I thought everyone would laugh at me, but instead they think you’re a demanding, ungrateful button rejector! Thanks for being such a good sport. And for being so tactful about my crappy button.

    Lola: Yes! A beer bottle! Why? I don’t know! But flair is always good. I’m on my way . . . I’ve been really behind on my blog reading.

    Lin: Do you and Lola need a drink or something? Or will a new button with a picture of a beer bottle do? I think Ann(e) is on to us. (See above.)

    Surfie: I KNOW! That’s what I thought I’d be able to do with Ann(e)’s button. Grab something off her site and throw on her (misspelled) name. Ah, the good old days.

    trade show displays guru: Hey, THERE’S my Red Stripe-loving friend! I missed you. I figured it would take a beer-related (kind of) post to make you resurface!

    Daisy the Curly Cat: I should’ve tried for a “J” and a “D.” Maybe I’ll try to fit in a “JD” on all the buttons people will be begging me to make for them now.

    Your Daily Cute: HAW! Thank you for your honesty! Sadly, that candy bar is long gone.

    Kathy: I’m so damn proud of that “R.” Look how famous it is!

  24. 24 Barb at WillThink4Wine

    I can’t design a thing… But I have people for that! I’ve built my own web site for my business, but I hired a graphic designer for my logo and all artwork. I also have a printer do all my printing. Because that’s what they DO! And I DON’T!

    So I’ll stick to my day job, too!
    .-= Barb at WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..Finally Friday =-.

  25. 25 Jen

    You got the bottle right at least.

    This reminds me of my problem over at NGIP.

    I can’t make a graphic to save my life. I’ve tried and tried and I have no flair whatsoever for it, as is obvious by my buttons.

    It really wasn’t that bad.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Tooth Fairy Part 4 =-.

  26. 26 Grace

    To answer your question – Yes, I like the font, the blocks, the jelly beans the bottle of catsup, the colors, the arrangement. It’s not cluttered, it’s clear and colorful – what’s not to like?
    .-= Grace´s last blog ..Not feeling all that well so sticking with pet pics and other oddments =-.

  27. 27 The Other Patricia

    I like the button, minus the superfluous ‘E’, and it’s given me a great idea as I was trying to figure out if those were jellybeans or pills: Remember those calcium supplements that were chewy and were chocolate flavors? Same sort of idea, but with birth control pills that taste like jellybeans. No one would forget to take their daily jellybean, would they?

    I’m sure the FDA would find this a great idea and I see absolutely no risk to children whatsoever, and as I have no children I am the world’s leading expert on raising them. ;)

    Who wants to buy shares whilst they’re cheap?

  28. 28 Lauren

    You may have a new career as a graphic designer. So, spelling’s not your thing. No biggie. The hard part was the design and you pretty much nailed it with exception to the font. Not my favorite choice but then again I’m not an artist. Although, I dream of one day having a living room (or any room) that is aesthetically pleasing or just doesn’t make me violently ill.
    .-= Lauren´s last blog ..Scarfing Down Scooby Snacks as American Idol Idled. =-.

  29. 29 JD

    Barb at WillThink4Wine: HA! I love that. “That’s what they do. And I don’t!” It’s kind of a motto. I had a graphic designer do my header, but only after I figured out I could only draw a sleeping cat or a smiling sun.

    Jen: Maybe you should ask Ann(e) to make one for you. She won’t stop till she gets it right!

    Grace: Aw! Thanks. (It’s actually a beer bottle — does that change your opinion?)

    The Other Patricia: Heeeey, I like that idea. I don’t have kids either, so that jelly bean idea sounds awesome. Sign me up! Also, do they still make those chocolate calcium supplements? Those were like candy!

    Lauren: Thank you so much. That font is pretty bad. No, I’m not an artist either (obviously), and our living room is so bad it DOES make our cats violently ill. Which is part of the problem.

  30. 30 moooooog35

    At this point, it might just be easier for her to legally change her name.

    Just sayin.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Sciatica-ca =-.

  31. 31 Buggys

    These are both nice but may I suggest that Lee (Hotflash) makes some very nice buttons. Just saying….
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Laugh With Ron White =-.

  32. 32 cardiogirl

    Okay, this is how insecure I am. I started reading this post and then thought, ‘Wait a minute. I told her I wanted the candy bar. I want it. I know I’m gonna love it even though I questioned it in the beginning.

    Did she think I wanted an ad in the sidebar? I want chocolate.

    I didn’t send her an email saying I trusted her implicitly. But I do. I do trust you.

    Then I realized it was not at all about me. Shocking, I know.

    When I read this line,

    … what started as “I trust you implicitly” ended up as “I’ll do it myself, thank you very much!”

    I thought it said,

    … what started as “I trust you implicitly” ended up as “I’ll do it myself, betch!i

    Yes, that’s right. It is always, always. All. About. Me.
    .-= cardiogirl´s last blog ..Things I think would suck, part 2 =-.

  33. 33 Anne

    I watched all 4 videos, even though I didn’t even win a hairball from Gus just sayin’). I did like the one you did, but since I didn’t win anything I don’t think my opinion matters (yes, it is even more about me than Cardiogirl thinks it’s about her).

  34. 34 cardiogirl

    I got it! I got it and I’m eating it right now and I love it!!

    I got my Caramel Milky Way in the mail today along with the fragrant soap and lei. I was worried, JD about it tasting like soap but it doesn’t!

    It’s good and my kids are at school SO I DON’T HAVE TO SHARE!!


    Thanks chickie!
    .-= cardiogirl´s last blog ..Things I think would suck, part 2 =-.

  35. 35 meleah rebeccah

    I think you did a good job! Much better than I could do anyway! I haven’t a clue how to make any internet buttons!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Five] =-.

  36. 36 Jaya

    Oh Hell. I wrote a really snappy comment, and solved the whole button dilemma brilliantly. But then I pushed the wrong button, and hopped to another page before entering my comment, and it, along with my momentary brilliance, was lost forever in cyberspace. Such is life…
    .-= Jaya´s last blog ..Herman Rutgers LeRoy Emmet =-.

  37. 37 Kathryn

    Sigh….you you try and do a nice thing

    If the first logo is Ann’s and the 2nd is yours, I’ve gotta say, I like yours better (including the name change…she can go to some federal department and have that changed, can’t she? It’ll probably be easier).

    I thought your day job was teaching alpacas how to shear themselves and knit the wool into high-end garments for Sachs…

    .-= Kathryn´s last blog ..The Power of Kindness =-.

  38. 38 JD

    moooooog35: I agree. How selfish is she being with this? I spent, like, 12 minutes on that button. It’s the least she could do.

    Buggys: Ahhh, thank you! I’ll keep that in mind. Because clearly, this is NOT my forte.

    cardiogirl: When I read “this is how insecure I am” and then read the rest of your comment, I thought you meant to say “this is how self-important I am.” Right? Insecurity is not what I’m getting here. There might’ve been a touch of “betch” in that one line, but it was said with love. And don’t worry! Your candy bar is in the mail! (you’ll know it because all your mail and mailbox will smell very strongly of soap.)

    Anne: Wow. I think you and cardiogirl need to have a discussion. Hopefully this can be resolved peacefully. And THANK YOU for watching all 4 videos. THAT is a reward in itself. (But for whom?)

    cardiogirl again! OH! Wow, that was fast! YAY! I’m glad you love it. I’m so glad it didn’t taste like soap. The lady at the post office was all, WHAT’S IN HERE? And not having to share? That’s like the cherry on top (of the Milky Way).

    meleah rebeccah: Well, clearly, neither do I, but thank you. I use PaintShop Pro, which is kind of a mini version of Photoshop. I love it. I’m no GOOD at it, but I love it.

    Jaya: Damn these buttons — all of them!

    Kathryn: Boy, is this ever backfiring. I thought everyone would laugh at me and feel bad for Ann(e) that she had to deal with such an unprofessional “graphic designer.” I appreciate your liking my sad little button. Maybe there’s an “Anne” out there who might like to use it? And change your site’s name to “Anne’s Rants”? Actually, that might not work.

  39. 39 Buggys

    Well, I don’t have a day job so thanks JD.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Nike Shaky on Roethlisberger =-.

  40. 40 Maureen

    Ha! Well, let’s just say I’d love to have an ad, but I wanted Pru’s photo more. Oh yeah. And chocolate.

    See how nice I am for not putting you through this whole “make me an ad button debacle?”

    Yer welcome. ;)
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..Roll Up The Rim =-.

  41. 41 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    I’m sorry, is this an offer to us from you for the choice between a candy bar or a button. If so, can I have a candy bar? :)
    .-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..How To Put a Puzzle Together (A Step by Step Guide) =-.

  42. 42 meleah rebeccah

    hmmm….. PaintShop Pro huh? Im gunna check that out!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Five] =-.

  43. 43 JD

    Buggys: I seeeee. Sorry ’bout that. I barely have one myself, tho hopefully that will change very soon.

    Maureen: Everyone wants Pru’s photo! She’s getting so conceited. I thought the ad would be easier than dragging myself to the post office, but I’d have to say: post office wins. More candy bars for everyone!

    Margaret (Nanny Goats): Uhhhh, no. Not at this time. Altho I did get one of your kickass pens, so I feel kind of obligated. Let me try to find more of these babies.

    meleah rebeccah: Do! It’s awesome and affordable. My version is about 90 years old, and I think I paid $60 for it. It’s probably at least $100 by now, but totally worth it.


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