Hot as a fever, rattling bones
I could just taste it, taste it

Recently, during a routine bacon conversation, a friend confessed the following: “I would love it if someone would sprinkle me with bacon salt. In fact, when I die, I want to be wrapped in bacon and laid out on a giant grill. Just for show. Not for grilling.”

This made me think. Oh, I thought long and hard. About bacon. About death. About grilling.

About bacon cremation.

Just the phrase “bacon cremation” makes me feel hopeful. Of course, a typical cremation is not a public affair, but mine would be.

Instead of a dreary funeral parlor and depressing ol’ coffin, my Bacon Cremation (yes, now it’s capitalized) would take place at a forest preserve on a summer’s day. If I happen to die in the winter, my body will just be frozen or something. Because this has to happen in the summer.

Picture a large grill (not THAT large) and a pale but lovely but dead JD, dressed in her favorite dress from ebay. Strips of raw bacon are lovingly wrapped around the frail but gorgeous but pretty stiff body. A few words are spoken. Tears are shed. The bacon salt is sprinkled. Then! The grill is lit.

Are you with me on this??? It will be the world’s most awesome (and most fragrant) Viking-meat-type cremation. Instead of being all sad and grossed out, my friends and family will be sniffing the air appreciatively and thinking positive, bacony thoughts. And then there would be all kinds of bacon canapes afterward.

I Googled “bacon cremation” and discovered that there is a Bacon Funeral Home in both Iowa and Connecticut. I don’t know if this means they actually perform Bacon Cremations, but it’s worth a call.

The closest thing I found to an actual Bacon Cremation is this article on Wired, describing how Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater fame) pledged to eat naught but bacon for a month. It was the final sentence that caught my eye: “If Nelson should survive the month, he will receive a prize of five pounds of bacon. If he should not survive, Nelson gets a cremation that smells like your house at brunch time on Sunday morning.”

See? I’m onto something here.

Sadly, Mike lived to tell the tale. It’s too bad. But at least now I know how I will die. I will eat naught but bacon for THREE months, and that, my friends, will ensure both a hero’s death AND extra bacon aroma at JD’s Bacon Cremation Party and Funeral.

They won’t even have to light a match.

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56 Comments


56 Responses to “I Will Have a Bacon Cremation”

  1. 1 moooooog35

    I picture you wrapped in bacon usually, anyway.

    Perhaps I’ve said too much.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Craigslist Killer – Part Deux? =-.

  2. 2 Linda

    Bacon! Yum! I love bacon. Not sure, though, that I want to become a bacon-wrapped entree and “grilled” upon my demise. I’ll let you do that so I don’t have to. ;)

    I do like the idea of having bacon served in my honor. Hmmm, there is bacon in Heaven, right?

  3. 3 Daisy the Curly Cat

    That reminds me of a recipe for Bacon-wrapped Smokies. The Smokies are actually cocktail wieners. So I guess in your dream cremation, you would represent the cocktail wiener?
    .-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Basket Case =-.

  4. 4 Tracy

    Bacon Mummification. Because if I can’t live for ever I want school kids of the future to walk by me and say “ewwwwwww” for all eternity.

    Would go into details but this keyboard is totally ganked.
    .-= Tracy´s last blog ..Who has time to write a long post? =-.

  5. 5 dcr

    So, you will be wrapped in bacon, and then you (and the bacon) will be cremated.

    Which will smell like bacon.

    Which will make people hungry.

    Which will lead to years and years and years of counseling after your funeral.

    I’ll go ahead and send my regrets now…
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..The One Thing You Cannot Do on a Mac =-.

  6. 6 Shelly

    I am totally in for a bacon cremation. Body wrapped in bacon after death, then cremation so you end up as bacon bits. Perfection!
    .-= Shelly´s last blog ..Vacation Wrap Up (Mostly in Pics) =-.

  7. 7 Jen

    Bacon Cremations sounds so…fun. It really puts a festive spin on the whole cremation process and it also answers the question of what one is supposed to wear to their cremation.

    I will be there with bells on and I will bring the lettuce, tomato and mayo.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Al and Tipper Gore are Getting a Divorce? =-.

  8. 8 Stephanie Barr

    You do that, JD. Just not any time soon. ‘K?

    We’re desperately fond of you as you are now.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..New Tool for Queriers =-.

  9. 9 carissa

    This is made of awesome. I love the idea of a Bacon Cremation. I think you should use that Maple Syrup bacon though.. It’s even more effective in my opinion. I’m not sure exactly what it is effective in, but it is nonetheless.
    .-= carissa´s last blog ..My “AHHHHHHHHH (HANDS ON CHEEKS)” Week. =-.

  10. 10 absepa

    Thanks for doing the Bacon Cremation so I don’t have to. I’m *totally* on board with all things bacon, just not so much with the cremation part. I’m ascared of fire.

    Aaaaannndd now I want a BLT.
    .-= absepa´s last blog ..No, Mr. Spider, I expect you to die =-.

  11. 11 Barb

    We spoke of bacon last night over dinner, which was filet mignon. We (my MotherDear and Dad and I) all prefer ours sans bacon. Sorry.

    Don’t let us spoil your plans though. k?
    .-= Barb´s last blog ..The pursuit of happiness =-.

  12. 12 puglette

    while i do love the idea of a bacon cremation in theory, i am afraid i would be put off bacon forever if i attended one. also, the idea of spending a lovely summer day in the forest watching, and smelling, your bacon cremation would ruin forests and summer days for me too.

    there is just too much good stuff to lose in this combination. especially you!
    hugs,
    puglette
    :o)

  13. 13 JD

    moooooog35: No, you haven’t said enough. Please continue. Is bacon salt involved? And if so, how?

    Linda: Oh, you KNOW there’s bacon in heaven. Just think of the reception I’ll get after my Bacon Cremation.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: Yes, exactly! Only hopefully without the toothpicks. Altho those might be necessary to make the bacon stay on.

    Tracy: OK, please hurry back when your keyboard is working properly, because I need details. I may need to change a clause in my Bacon Cremation form under the heading “Mummification?”

    Shelly: YES! Bacon bits! The real kind, not the fake kind like Bac-o’s. Hey, remember Bac-o’s? Me neither.

    Jen: I knew I could count on you. Yes, it will be a fun and festive affair. And Kathy can wear her bacon shoes!

    Stephanie Barr: ‘K. I can’t — I’ve got way too much planning to do! It’ll take me at least 50 years to perfect every detail of the ceremony.

    carissa: Mmm. You know, you’ve given me an idea. There’s no reason the Bacon Body Wrap (TM) can’t include all kinds of different bacon. That will increase the complexity of the funereal flames and whet the guests’ appetites even more!

    absepa: Yeah, I BET you do! As long as you don’t have to cook it over an open flame. Of course, why would you? But anyway, you’re very welcome. I’m happy to do this, especially since it has never been done before!

    Barb: Are you comparing my rotting corpse to filet mignon? THANK YOU! I prefer my steak without bacon too. Without anything. A good steak (which is the only kind I will eat) should have no adornment. A good corpse, however, can only benefit from being wrapped in bacon.

    puglette: Oh, dear. I’m sorry you won’t be attending my Bacon Cremation, but I understand. Perhaps you can just order the video, which will be available on my blog for only $9.99. And it comes with a free Bumpits!

  14. 14 Jenn of Many Cabbages

    I’ve done bacon cremation a few times when I got overzealous in just. making. the. bacon. so. I. can. eat. now. now. NOW…

    And then finding everything black.

    Your idea has a nicer Pre-Raphaelite “Lady of Shallot” feel to it.

    Or maybe I should say, “Lady of Shallots and Bacon.”
    .-= Jenn of Many Cabbages´s last blog ..Wrath of Mom Versus Hall Pass Liberation =-.

  15. 15 puglette

    free bumpits?!? life is good. :P
    .-= puglette´s last blog ..Puppy Love =-.

  16. 16 dcr

    Finally! I can be a super hero! I have acquired the super power of invisibility! Look! Up in the sky! Oh, no, wait. You can’t see anything.

    Also, CommentLuv can’t see me either. I am the invisible man! Muhahahahaha.

  17. 17 cardiogirl

    I love the fact that the guy lived is prefaced with the word sadly.

    (Puts closed fingers to her mouth then splays them out in the universal sign of something delicious.) Bravo.

    You must have heard about the dead guy in Portugal (I think) who had his body cremated and then placed on a motorcycle for the viewing, right?

    That would seriously give me PTSD. I could not and would not attend that funeral.

    No. Thank you.
    .-= cardiogirl´s last blog ..If you’re gonna spam me, at least try to do it respectfully =-.

  18. 18 Katie

    Who doesn’t love bacon?! And pairing it with a tragedy like death is sure to soften the blow. I think you are on to something, indeed.

  19. 19 CatLadyLarew

    mmmmm…. bacon! Great idea, that. It would be a smokin’ funeral!
    .-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Lies and the Lying Bloggers Who Tell Them… part deux* =-.

  20. 20 Kathleen Kaufman

    I adore bacon. If you carry bacon into the afterlife, does it act like the coins on the eyes? Do you get to pay the ferryman for the ride to the great beyond in bacon? So many questions.

    When I was pregnant, my husband and I were advised to write wills, especially me since there is always the even somewhat slim possibility that once one goes into the hospital, you may not be coming out.

    I was like nine months preggers when I was filling out the legal zoom will form and completely obsessed with food. I spent a good three hours detailing all the snacks that I wanted served at my funeral in the event of my untimely demise. Seriously. Pregnancy makes you insane.

    My husband, the dear, misguided guy that he is – actually filed this crazy person’s will, so it’s permanent, at least until I want to shell out another $50 to file another. It’s good motivation to be safe actually, the possibility that I might leave my loved ones scratching their heads over my over elaborate cheese platters and oddly specific pie demands.
    .-= Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog ..How Kevin Costner Might Save The World: Possible Solutions For The Gulf Crisis =-.

  21. 21 Bacon Kathy

    JD — This an idea whose time has come. I mean, we are talking bacon here. I want to be as close to bacon as possible in the afterlife since it is so good to me in this one. If for some strange reason the funeral home won’t allow me to be enveloped in the greasy, savory, yummy goodness, then they’ll at least have to bury me in my bacon shoes. Screw the nice dress. I just want muh bacon.

    (Kathleen — I love, love, love that you filed that will. Your priorities are spot on.)
    .-= Bacon Kathy´s last blog ..Beware: Baby Lambs Cause Computer Viruses =-.

  22. 22 Surfie

    So when they cremate a body, they put in a big oven, right? (Incinerator/oven, same thing. Work with me here.) Which means when a body is being cremated, it’s BAKING. Baking down here in the South would be pronounced BAKIN’.

    BAKIN’ Cremation…
    .
    .
    .
    BACON Cremation…

    Coincidence? I think not. The Bacon Cremation was inevitable.
    .-= Surfie´s last blog ..The Heat Won =-.

  23. 23 Janiss

    I am from Hollywood, CA (okay, I am REALLY from North Hollywood, CA, but that’s kind of embarrassing), so I do not understand this whole bacon fixation the rest of the world has. At all. I think I would prefer to be wrapped like a sushi hand roll. And stay raw.
    .-= Janiss´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Yeah, What? =-.

  24. 24 meleah rebeccah

    Meleah “became a fan” of Bacon Cremations and she “LIKES” this post a lot!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently – My Week In Review – [Part Seventeen] =-.

  25. 25 Ron

    OMG…this is HYSTERICAL!!!!

    Oooooo…and I got fabulous idea for a new sandwich for after you’re bacon cremated….

    The JDLT Sandwich!

    I’d definitely EAT ya!

    Bwhahahahahahahahahahaha!

    Aren’t I wicked?

    FAAAAAAAAAB post, girl!

    X
    .-= Ron´s last blog ..Yoga….bend me, shape me, anyway you want me =-.

  26. 26 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Did you get pre-authorization clearance from Junk Drawer Kathy’s legal team on this cremation of yours? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure she’s trademarked everything bacon. Boy, can you imagine dying and then a parade of limos screeching to a halt at your graveside service where a bunch of suits jump out and drop a cease and desist order on your about-to-be-burned ass? THAT would be a porker, wouldn’t it? I’m totally bringing my camera for my blog on that day.

  27. 27 JD

    Jenn of Many Cabbages: Oh, I wish I’d found a way to reference “Lady of Shallot” in my post. I think we’ve all suffered from “MUST HAVE BACON NOW” syndrome. It only ends in tears. And grease.

    puglette: Yup! My generosity knows no bounds.

    dcr: That’s amazing! Tell me your secret! (But don’t tell CommentLuv. It has it in for you.)

    cardiogirl: I so appreciate the universal sign of something delicious. Thank you. But aren’t you a bit disappointed too? I mean, I would’ve loved to hear about that brunch smell. Oh, well. I would attend a Bacon Cremation but NOT a motorcycle cremation. That is just plain creepy.

    Katie: YES! I agree. Bacon makes death much more palatable. In more than one way.

    CatLadyLarew: It would indeed! And for once, people wouldn’t complain about the smoke.

    Kathleen Kaufman: Bacon does raise many more questions than it answers, but that is the beauty of bacon. Oh, my god. I am dying at your Will of Delicious and Strangely Random Foods. How funny. I can just imagine you carefully considering all the details. And that’s your official will. I think it’s awesome.

    Bacon Kathy: I can’t imagine why the funeral home would object to your being buried in your bacon shoes. Have you made a will yet? If so, you should revise it to include the bacon shoes. If not, well, follow Kathleen’s example. She knows how to do wills right.

    Surfie: OMG! It was right before my eyes this whole time! A coded message telling me that a Bacon (Bakin’) Cremation is my destiny. How did I miss it?

    Janiss: I could totally do a Sushi Cremation if need be, but then where does the grill come in? I suppose they could use the grill for the poached teriyaki salmon, but . . . I don’t know. Doesn’t have quite the same impact. (But I do love sushi. Imagine: BACON SUSHI!)

    meleah rebeccah: HA! Thank you! A “thumb’s up” to you!

    Ron: YESSSSSSSSSS!!! Oh, man, I SO want a sandwich named after me, and “JDLT” is PERFECT! You are so freaking funny. You know you’d be welcome to take a little nibble. Please just leave my butt intact. It’s kind of my trademark.

    Margaret (Nanny Goats): I defy Bacon Kathy’s legal team to find just cause for action against my now-trademarked Bacon Cremation. That is the ONLY bacon-related activity that Kathy has not gotten her greedy, greasy paws on. Yes, the Bacon Cremation is all mine, but you are still welcome to bring your camera, as I would be pretty depressed if no one blogged about my funeral.

  28. 28 muskrat

    is it possible for something to be a “little bit” disgusting? ’cause i think this idea is. bacon is good. bacon wasted by wrapping it over a dead body? not good.

  29. 29 meleah rebeccah
  30. 30 Bingo

    I think is a very original idea. I love bacon by the way!

  31. 31 Tarheel Rambler

    You realize I’m probably not going to be able to sleep for about a month now. There are two things I absolutely don’t want to be: cremated or dead…and you covered them both in graphic detail.

    Now, if there was some way to remain healthy and make 85% of my diet bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches, I would be a happy camper. The other 15% would be for really healthy food items like chocolate and peanut butter fudge.
    .-= Tarheel Rambler´s last blog ..People Being People =-.

  32. 32 KC

    And the bacon bit ashes could be sprinkled over a great big garden, like a giant salad. Too much? (I do think it’s quite a brilliant idea.)
    .-= KC´s last blog ..Art-ing =-.

  33. 33 flit

    um….I don’t think I approve of the bacon canapes to follow. ICK!
    .-= flit´s last blog ..An Update =-.

  34. 34 Jay

    Hahaha! Well, they do say that human flesh tastes most like pork. I guess we should smoke you first? That would make it all so much better! LOL!
    .-= Jay´s last blog ..Denham Village people are … prepared for the rain! =-.

  35. 35 dcr

    Sorry. It’s not a secret that I can share. It is just something that seems to happen. Maybe one day I will be able to control my super power at will.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..And So the Traffic Tide Goes Out and I Become Invisible Once More, or Ode to My Wonderment Over a High Traffic Month, Plus Testing WordPress’ Capacity to Handle Really Really Long Titles by Creating a Really Really Long Title, or How I Amuse Myself Online =-.

  36. 36 Patricia (Huzzah!)

    The question is, will this bacon cremation be with panties or without?

    Also, I don’t think that a cremation like that is very kosher! (zing!)

  37. 37 Viveca

    This is a tough topic for me today. In the past month I had to put a beloved dog down, my godmother died and one of my best friends died of breast cancer. I was planning on visiting the later next week when I was home in San Diego, at the very least. At the best I was holding out for a remission.

    Although I know that all are in a great place I am still feeling very left behind and a quite pissed off at God.

    Anyway I like coming here – this is a creative fun place that often gives me something to smile and think about – good combo.

    Have a great weekend.

    Viveca
    .-= Viveca´s last blog ..Dog Walking: The Ultimate Adrenal Energy Boost and Relief for Arthritis Joint Pain =-.

  38. 38 babs - beetle

    Oh my! I’m not sure I want to even think about that! I think I’ll pass on a slice of bacon flavoured JD thanks ;)
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Mi-chaaael! You’re doing it wrong! =-.

  39. 39 Shaky Jake

    Dear Lord, you’re just all kinds of innovation aren’t you? I wish you nothing but luck in all your bacon-related endeavors and hope that when you die the world will finally appreciate your genius as the grease drips from your bacon-wrapped self.

    To Pork!!!
    .-= Shaky Jake´s last blog ..What’s In a Band Name? =-.

  40. 40 Patricia (Huzzah!)

    I’m so very sorry for your loss, Viveca. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to lose your three confidants in such quick order. I’d say you’ve got every reason to be pissed off at God after sending difficult knocks such as yours. I’ll be thinking about you and sending prayers your way.

    J.D.’s the best and hilarious, you should explore some of the archive of I do things so we don’t have to’ if you haven’t already.

  41. 41 Lin

    Crap. I despise the smell of bacon and therefore, I cannot come to your funeral! If you promise not to serve bacon at the memorial service, I can come to that, but ONLY that. Sorry.

    I have this weird thing about cooking bacon in my house–I hate the smell. My family loves camping because that is the only time I allow bacon cooking–in the outdoors. Let the world absorb that stinky smell–it ain’t gonna be my kitchen.

    Oh, JD, you deserve a much better smell. Don’t do the bacon funeral!!!
    .-= Lin´s last blog ..The "Awww" Factor =-.

  42. 42 JD

    muskrat: “Wasted”? NEVER! Hey, they have to fire up the grill anyway, so it may as well smell really delicious.

    Bingo: Who doesn’t love bacon?! (Don’t tell me.)

    Tarheel Rambler: I’m sorry. Try to forget cremation and death and focus only on the bacon part. Considering how often healthy food expertes flip-flop on things like coffee and eggs, I’m predicting an announcement touting the health benefits of bacon any day now.

    KC: Not too much! I love it. And the garden makes it all seem somewhat healthy. Something for everyone!

    flit: Heh. I would make it clear that the bacon canapes had been prepared separately from the cremation . . . station.

    Jay: Good idea! I’m sure there’s an extra charge for being smoked, but it would be SO worth it.

    dcr: Well, that’s inconvenient. Does that mean you just *poof!* at the drop of a hat?

    Patricia (Huzzah!): HAR! WITHOUT! I’ll have to work on the details for my kosher guests.

    Viveca: Oh, I’m so sorry. You’ve had a very rough month. I don’t blame you for feeling pissed off. That sounds completely normal. I hope you weren’t too horrified by the topic of this post. Please feel better soon!

    babs – beetle: Are you sure? Because there’s PLENTY to go around!

    Shaky Jake: To Pork! Yes, if I can’t achieve well-deserved notoriety in life, I’ll have to settle for fame as a bacon corpse. It’ll be worth it.

    Patricia (Huzzah!): Aw. You’re nice. I’m sure Viveca appreciates your comment, as do I. And thanks for the kind words. I . . . heart you.

    Lin: OK, that’s only fair. You can sit in the kosher section of the funeral parlor. I love the smell of bacon while it’s cooking, but I can’t stand the lingering odor. Hmmm. Maybe I should reconsider. But if not bacon, then what?

  43. 43 dcr
  44. 44 HappinessandWisdom

    Bacon makes almost everybody happy – how perfect for a funeral! I’ve also found that bacon makes almost everything better, so why not cremations! Funny stuff. This post made me smile!
    .-= HappinessandWisdom´s last blog ..News About Happiness. Happiness May Come With Age, According to Study =-.

  45. 45 David

    This is a great reinterpretation of the old-fashioned “baked meats” traditionally served at a wake. I see a market for it.
    .-= David´s last blog ..Miscellany =-.

  46. 46 Lauren

    Since I live in Connecticut, I had to Google Bacon cremations, and indeed there is a Bacon Funeral Home. However, I don’t think that frying bacon corpses is their thing, unless they embalm with bacon grease.

    The good news.

    I copied this quote from their web page: ” . . . We do not take a cookie-cutter approach to the funeral services we provide.”

    So, maybe they bake then bury the dead in his/her favorite dessert, with exception to ice cream, unless they have a cryogenic crypt.

    http://www.baconfh.com/

    Oh, they also have a killer music library and a link to a website called http://www.pathways-to-peace.com/, which provides “Pathways to Peace” and “Interview with God” screen savers, as well as greeting cards that you can buy for a nominal fee. They are part of the Angel Network. God handles their PR.
    .-= Lauren´s last blog ..BP to Clog Pipe with Massive Amounts of Bullshit … =-.

  47. 47 MomZombie

    Will your remains — your Bacon Bits or Bac-Os — if you will, be preserved in a nice urn?
    .-= MomZombie´s last blog ..Hell on wheels =-.

  48. 48 Pricilla

    Hmmm, being a vegetarian goat this does not thrill my four stomachs. But the publicist loves bacon but is now stuck with the thought of a bacon wrapped, eBay dress wearing dead, stiff, pale JD in her head.

    It might just put her off bacon.
    erm, thank you for adding several years to her life?
    .-= Pricilla´s last blog ..MONDAY Movies with the Happy Goats =-.

  49. 49 kathryn

    Oh you…and your bacon-loving ways….till death do you part, eh??

    Why am I guessing that The Bacon Funeral Homes are owned and operated by the Bacon family? I won’t check, ’cause I know how disappointed you would be.

    I’ll never look (or smell) bacon the same again….
    .-= kathryn´s last blog ..Lady MacGyver =-.

  50. 50 JD

    dcr: Hmmm. Are you sure you’re invisible? Maybe those people are just being rude.

    HappinessandWisdom: Thank you! And thanks for stopping by. I hope you’ll remember me for all your bacon-cremation needs.

    David: Yeah, me too. I’m working with the experts at LegalZoom to ensure my idea will not be stolen.

    Lauren: Damn! I wish I’d bothered to look into the Bacon Funeral Home link before I completed this post. I might’ve used one of their musical pieces instead of Kings of Leon’s “Sex Is on Fire.” Thanks for the investigative work!

    MomZombie: Oooh, maybe I’ll have my Bacon Bits stored in one of those creepy head urns I’ve heard so much about!

    Pricilla: You’re welcome! I do what I can. Still, I hate the thought of the publicist doing without bacon completely. How about if I skip the dress?

    kathryn: That’s right. Wait, no, not even death will do us part! Bacon Family? That’s ridiculous. Who’s named “Bacon.” Oh. Well, I’m just not going to think about that.

  51. 51 Patti

    You managed to involve two of my all-time favorite things in one topic – bacon and Mystery Science Theater. You are a true genius. Thank you.

    p.s. Put me on your “bereaved guest list” please. Thanks.
    .-= Patti´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Paul McCartney – Our First Meeting =-.

  52. 52 arnell johnson

    I don’t think that there is a anything on earth I love more that bacon, it has the most intoxicating scent on the planet, someone somewhere needs to develop a cologne oe perfume made entirley of bacon, I would be a repeat customer.
    .-= arnell johnson´s last blog ..How to Get Back Together with My Ex in 3 Steps =-.

  53. 53 JD

    Patti: You’re welcome. Why MST and bacon have not been brought together before now is beyond me. It’s a natural fit. And . . . check! You’re on the list!

    arnell johnson: I’m quite sure there aleady is bacon perfume, as well as bacon bubble bath, bacon body scrub, and yes, bacon lube.

  54. 54 finallygettingtoeven.com

    Okay, this is a little different, I admit. But you put a good twist on it. I guess if anyone can pull off a bacon cremation you might be just the one. Unfortunately I can’t stand the smell of frying bacon but I have to tell you I think that won’t be the only smell that day. The neighborhood is going to be mighty stinky! Thanks for a good laugh

  55. 55 JD

    finallygettingtoeven.com: I feel pretty confident that I could indeed pull off a Bacon Cremation (caps, remember?), which I’m thinking of trademarking as “Baco-Cremation.”

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