You just took for granted that I want to skinny dip
YES! We went back. Remember when Dave and I went to this fabulous Indiana nudist resort last summer? And a bunch of irate but very nice nudists bombarded my site with comments defending it? And I promised to return and be less judgmental?
Well, I think the nudists will be happy and my readers will be disappointed.
There really wasn’t anything to be judgmental about. It was a lovely day, the water was perfect, and the people, like last time, were very nice.
We did not go back to the snack bar. Dave dared me, and I was willing, but when he said he’d probably just get a cookie, I was terrified I wouldn’t get any lunch. So we stopped at Subway. Were those clothed men still sitting at the table in the snack bar trailer? We’ll just have to assume they were.
Last time our visit coincided with a bevy of clothed male workers taking down the platforms from the Nudes-a-Poppin’ (NSFW!) show. Many patient nudists wrote to explain that this type of work goes on during resort hours because only members (nudists) are available to help. On this visit, they were setting up for the show, which meant more clothed guys. (Dave remarked, “These aren’t members, they’re just dudes!”) But regardless, the workers and staff were exceptionally nice and helpful.
So what can I get judgmental about? Don’t worry; there’s always something. Let me think . . . I know! The sun was too hot! Can’t they control that? Don’t nudists have some sort of special pact with the sun? Tone it down, up there. We’re NAKED!
For putting up with all the nudity, won’t you please participate in a clothing-optional quiz? The first commenter to guess the correct answer will receive a fabulous prize package (described below).
THIS JUST IN! WE HAVE A WINNER! Kathy from The Junk Drawer correctly guessed “scalp.” I’d love to include a picture as proof, but I don’t want anyone to see my female pattern baldness. Congratulations, Kathy! Please claim your prize!
Clothing-Optional Quiz
Which part of JD’s nude body got sunburned?
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ears
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tops of feet
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upper lady parts
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lower lady parts
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neck
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butt
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scalp
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nose
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right shoulder blade
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kneepit
Fabulous Prize Package
This handy kit, created exclusively by JD, can be used for your next nude outing or any place you may be forced to use a port-a-john:
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JD’s Butt Spider Spray
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JD’s Butt Sanitizer
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JD’s Butt Protector
Since the Butt Spider Spray is half-used and the Butt Protector is only a piece of tin foil with a rip in the center, the lucky winner MAY exchange this prize package for one (1) of the following:
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500 EntreCard points
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An autographed photo of Gus
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A copy of Star magazine’s “Celebrities without Makeup” issue
Stay tuned for more nude and un-nude adventures!
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Humor blogs readers get sunburned in the most embarrassing places.
35 Comments
Ha ha ha ha! The top of your feet!
I want the butt protector – as long as that isn’t used also ha ha!
Babs – beetle’s last blog post..The Name Meme
Knee pit?
I am going with “tops of feet” because I am guessing that you did a lot more standing than sitting or laying down.
Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..Duck!
“Knee pit” Love it! Never heard that before. I’m going with scalp. You know, because of your square head and all. Flat surfaces burn easier, right?
Kathy’s last blog post..Blogtations: My New Addiction
“lower lady parts” …. ???? …. no, on second thought, I’m not even gonna ask.
I want an autographed picture of Gus but I’m not disrobing in public until I’ve had a lobotomy.
You make me laugh so hard, JD, I’d just be jiggling all over the place anyway … and not in a good way …
jennypenny’s last blog post..Ravinia Festival … A Fond Reminiscence
babs – beetle, Gizmo, Daisy the Curly Cat, and jennypenny: Thank you for playing! I’m sorry, your answers were close but no cigar.
Daisy: You used very good logic to come up with your answer.
Babs: If Kathy doesn’t want the butt protector (unused!) it’s yours!
jennypenny: Jiggling is good! If Kathy doesn’t claim the autographed picture of Gus, it’s yours!
Kathy: Congratulations! Yes, it’s the ol’ square head that’s to blame! CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!
Ha! I don’t really want to think about the position you would have to be in to get those lower lady parts sunburned!!
But I’m kinda nosy and I really want to know but feel free to just say ‘Shut up, Lori’. But I’ve never known anyone that has done nude so I have to ask…
Do you get horny when you do nude places?
Or is everyone so old/fat/saggy that you are really just grossed out?
Or are you too nervous thinking about your, um, shortcomings that you really can’t think about anything else?
If you are a guy and you, um, get horny, what do you do?
And how DO you keep from looking at, um, well, you know, everything?
So did you get to see the Nudes-a-Poppin show? And just what exactly is “poppin” during this show?
You are so brave. And after checking out their site, I couldn’t stop laughing at the naked lady diving for the volleyball. I’m so third grade.
The closest I ever got to public nakedness was a turkish bath. I’m pretty sure the guy that scrubbed me down on the marble floor saw it all. And he was hot. ; )
Alice’s last blog post..The Smiling Infidel’s Dollar Store Extravapalooza
Lori: This is the proper place to be nosy and ask questions.
No, never. OK, maybe once in Jamaica. Um, twice.
Mostly, yes. But see above.
Shortcomings not the problem.
I am not a guy. Dave probably has a suitable response for this question, but he ain’t talking.
I don’t! Mirrored sunglasses are my secret weapon!
Jeff: No, the show is on the 20th—hey, I know, let’s have a Blog-Con at Nudes-a-Poppin’! Everyone should show up—nude! Cameras are allowed! (As for what it is that “pops,” um . . . , you’ll have to go to their Web site. Then come back and tell us.
Alice: Wow, a Turkish bath, eh? I may have to check that out. And you say you got “scrubbed down” by a hot guy? This is sounding better and better.
I love that volleyball lady too.
Weee! I knew that square head post would get me somewhere! Thanks! I want Gus. Gus is the man.
kathy’s last blog post..Blogtations: My New Addiction
Oh, and I loved Lori’s questions. I’m sure everyone who doesn’t “do” nude needs those answers. We’re glad you do nude so we don’t have to!
kathy’s last blog post..Blogtations: My New Addiction
I went to that 3 years in a row! It was great every time.
LOBO’s last blog post..Predator Press and the Tomb of the Velvet Ropes
Oh! I know, it was your scalp, right?
Well, shoo, I missed the quiz. I would’ve lost anyway, though, because I would have guessed your nose.
And, let’s see, the last time I was totally naked in a room full of strangers was…at my birth!
Musing’s last blog post..Quote game: gas
OMG that whole gaggle of prizes made me laugh so hard I almost forgot my tooth was broken. LOL A whole array of butt products. You truly do care.
Butt Spider’s last blog post..God Bless Vicodin
LOL. I need a case of that butt spider spray, don’t ask why, just fedex it to me and hurry.
okay when you go nudie, you have to wear a hat next time. red heads burn easy.
Natural’s last blog post..We Interrupt This Program….
I hope that you were able to be there for the fireworks display on Saturday as it was wonderful, over an hour of constant aerial displays. You must have the worst timing in the world, as last year you were at Ponderosa for dismantling the stage, this year for setting it up (would normally have been done the following weekend, but required some repair this year so was set up early to facilitate the work). I am glad you were able to make it back to Ponderosa, just sorry that I was unable to say HI to you (I was there, but did not recognize you).
Thanks for coming back, and for the article hopefully if you come back again, we will be able to meet and chat.
Glenn
Kathy: Gus is all yours. As you well know.
Yes, I was glad Lori asked those questions. Those are EXACTLY the questions we asked ourselves.
LOBO: How funny! Maybe we saw you there last year? Small world . . .
Regan: YES! You are a winn . . . wait a minute, missy! Oh, what the heck. There can be two winners. NAME YOUR PRIZE!
Musing: I’m sorry you missed the quiz! There will be more in the future, with better prizes. I think your first and last nude experience is the same as that of many other wise people.
Butt Spider! I DO care. I’m so glad you could see that through your pain. And I hope you get some relief very soon. I’m working on a line of JD’s Broken-Ass Tooth products, but they won’t be ready till the fall.
Natural: Oh, my! Even tho it’s half-used? OK, it’s on the way. No questions asked.
I have a hat, but it looks stupid on me. (Woo! I’m a redhead!)
Glenn: Yes, we heard people talking about the fireworks, and it really sounded fun. Sorry to have missed you!
Ah, nudity and drunkeness – I knew I made you an honourary Canucklehead for a reason. Oh, and you recently had bacon on as well! Do you have the other half of this medallion?
Oh, I want an autographed photo of Gus! Or the Star magazine. It’s a close competition…
I want the photo of Gus! Yay Gus!
Oh, That was a surprise. Thank you for my credits ;O)
Kathy? the butt protector is mine….all mine!
Babs – beetle’s last blog post..The Name Meme
very funny post!
april’s last blog post..“Oh BeeHave”
Canucklehead: You are killing me. Yes, of course I have the other half of the medallion. CLICK! Now we are united forever in a sort of weird nude, drunken bacon tangle. It’s all completely innocent, folks!
Regan: You got it. It may take a little while, but I’ll send it to your Aunt Kathy. Good choice!
Babs – beetle: You’re welcome! I felt like you deserved something. It’s very easy to make your own butt protector, you know. The one I photographed has already been used to cover a quiche for Dave.
April: Thank you!
Sounds like fun. I wonder if any of the nudist host couch-surfers.
Meg’s last blog post..In Which I Blog About Bangs and Not Beer
ROFL! I not only love the story, I always love the comments that follow! I had read the previous story before, but had skipped the comments, so this time I went back and actually read them. I’m so sorry people are so paranoid about being naked, they have to be asses to stand up for it! Sheesh, show your balls people! Or not, I prefer to look at pretty ones.
Now, here is where I spill one of my secrets that I don’t share to often. When I was a young teen, we spent several years actually living at a hot springs. (think tent) People were looked at funny if they wore clothes, and we were definitely more prone to giggling at them! Of course we saw the OMG! Did you see him! to the OMG! COVER IT UP! COVER IT UP! I also saw adults do some fairly disgusting things that they thought they could get away with since it was clothing optional, and saw a lot more adults go up in arms to protect the LARGE number of under 18ers that lived there.
This is totally uncalled for, but the funniest thing I ever saw while we lived there was this old guy who used to come out every month or so. When I say old, I’m talking at least 80’s, this man was ancient! He had a dog named babe, and of course every time he yelled out BABE! every woman within hearing would turn around and start glaring, only to discover it was the dog he was yelling at. That wasn’t the funny part tho’. This old guy was hung! And by hung, I mean it went down to his knees, and he was very proud of it. (With good reason, I can’t blame anyone that old for having a body part they need to show off.) What was so funny tho’, he wore a modified jock strap that held up his balls. But nothing else. I have never figured out why the hell he wore a jock strap to hold up his balls, except considering the other part, maybe they hung that far down as well?
I’m so making me one of those butt-shields. Remember back when, the toilet story? My personal story of falling in the toilet in the middle of the night? Yeah, still going on. I need something that literally unfolds to catch me and protect my hiney before it hits the cold toilet water.
JT’s last blog post..The Rainbow Family, Part 2
P.S. I’m tagging you for a meme! 3 things your other half has to say about you! pthththth!
JT’s last blog post..My first meme
Meg: I would check it out. But I would also bring along my butt spray.
JT: Aren’t the comments awesome! I wanted to do a post devoted to just the comments, but figured maybe that was overkill.
OMG. Your story is hilarious. What an experience. BABE! God, what the hell? A ball strap? Maybe they hung down lower than his appendage?
(I prefer pretty ones, too.)
And thanks for the meme. I’m without Internet until next Wednesday (relying on coffeeshops till then), so my blogging is somewhat curtailed.
I don’t do NSFW sites- besides yours… ;0)
so please tell us what pops at nudes a poppin shows, because I am thinking I am going to pop a vein if I don’t know.
I do nude outside too- it’s great but I only do it in non approved non nudist places- like my back yard at night or camping. One day I will get arrested, but it is better then paying $35 to sit in a trailer with clothed people while naked as in your first harrowing tale.
Michelle Gartner’s last blog post..Vintage Term of the Week: Voluptuous
Roger: I AM brave. Also fine. Thank you for stopping by!
Michelle Gartner: Oh dear, I hope this isn’t too NSFW! But I don’t want you to pop a vein either. Nudes-a-Poppin’ is a contest—a pageant, if you will—showcasing nude men and women in various categories (Miss Petite, Mr. . . . Big?) and they get to stand on a platform and pose and win trophies. I’ve never been, but it’s probably kind of fun. I’m going to have to look into these non-approved nudist sites. They sound fun and cheap!
Demiera: WOOOO!!! Brewskies all around! I do have to say, the port-a-potty was clean . . . ish. I’m still not sure whether the alcohol makes it better or worse.
JD, SO…Sorry to have missed you…I was hoping to find you…I asked a couple of woman their I.D.’s but all they gave me was a slap….
lol
My wife and I had some landscaping done in our front yard. You may have seen some timber’s being cut and layed along the roadside near the pavillion ? That is our place….We love it and have it only due to the help and guideance of many a great friend we have in camp. My wife and I realized as we drove to camp this past Friday that July 18th was the 10 yr anniversary of our Nude wedding there….And once again it trully happend through the help AND guidance of our friends at the Ponderosa….
Keep on Doing things So I don’y have Too !
RunninBare
RunninBare: Sorry we missed you too! I do remember seeing the timber, so I’ll try to remember next time that that is your place. Congratulations on your anniversary and thanks for stopping by!
JD, I was digging up the dirt for our landscaping. Did you happen to stop at a womans trailer out back ? She showed a couple her trailer. I was the stud muffin LOL doing some yardwork at her place.
RunninBare: No, that wasn’t us. Sorry to have missed you!