I Was a Dumbass Hoosier

Who else likes David Letterman?

Who else watched his show a lot in the 1980s, during the Larry “Bud” Melman and Stupid Pet Tricks heyday?

Who else thought it might be fun to try to get on the show?

Who else wrote him a letter and sent a series of dumbass photos to achieve this goal?

Who else formed a pyramid with college roommates, thinking this “cool” pose would win them a spot on their favorite late-night show?

Who else bent a matchstick around their front teeth to re-create Letterman’s famous gap-toothed smile?

Who else piled on layer after layer of dumbass “Hoosier-wear” in honor of Dave’s birthplace?

Who else cleverly made “Late Night Beer” labels and glued them to beer bottles?

Who else apparently had nothing better to do with their time?

Who else is a dumbass Hoosier?

(I’m not a Hoosier, but I played one in college. I was a real dumbass, tho.)

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47 Comments


47 Responses to “I Was a Dumbass Hoosier”

  1. 1 Natural

    Who else bent a matchstick around their front teeth to re-create Letterman’s famous gap-toothed smile? LOL

    I give up. who?

    Natural’s last blog post..Oh, Sense Less One

  2. 2 absepa

    I wasn’t in college long enough for it to matter, and I wasn’t a Hoosier. But, I was a dumbass with a mullet, if it makes you feel any better. My mullet wasn’t nearly as, um, mullet-tastic as yours, though. Very impressive.

    absepa’s last blog post..Um…Am I Supposed to be Doing Something?

  3. 3 Meg

    Who Else? Not me. But I did have a mullet–but the cool Linda McCartney kind, with the spiky Bowie-like front.

    Meg’s last blog post..I See Bald People

  4. 4 Daisy the Curly Cat

    I can has Toast-on-a-Stick?

    Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..Monday Funday: Let’s Color!

  5. 5 stephanie barr

    Whew, that’s a relief. I can cross that off my to do list without pain now.

    I don’t lay claim to the title “dumbass” though I married one once. I’m trying to figure out if my hair counts as a mullet now, though.

    stephanie barr’s last blog post..More tugs on critical thinking…

  6. 6 Babs - beetle

    Not me ha ha ha! I missed the ‘Mullet’ look. I had shortish hair by the 80′s – sometimes with a perm, so the top was like yours though ;O)

    Babs – beetle’s last blog post..A House in North London – Part 1

  7. 7 Jeff

    Very funny! (love the mullet… my kind of 80s girl… very Sheena Easton)

    But hey, help me out here. Besides a gap-toothed human pyramid… did you have anything else to offer the folks at Late Night? I’m not saying that’s not impressive and all, I’m just saying… ;-)

    Jeff’s last blog post..Thanksgiving with the Grandsons

  8. 8 Angelika

    HA! I always had a crush on Dave. I don’t remember when it started. But I never went so far as to wear Hoosier crap, LOL.

    ;-)

    Angelika’s last blog post..No sleep & new TV show

  9. 9 brooke

    Well that is interesting, why would you want to be on the Late Night Show?

  10. 10 mlm

    I know he is from Indiana, but I believe he went to Ball State. You could have REALLY impressed him if you were decked out in Ball State clothes! And, alas, I had the same hair style in high school. Puffed-up, feathered front and longish, permed, mullety back. Foxy!

  11. 11 JD

    Natural: Well, I know of at least 5 other people besides me, so . . . I’m guessing a grand total of: 6.

    absepa: Thanks for joining me in my mullet shame. I seriously can’t believe that’s really my hair or that I willingly wore it in that style. But you know they weren’t called mullets then, so is it really fair to refer to it as a mullet now? I guess so, since I did.

    Meg: Oh, I loved that kind of mullet. I had (have) the wrong kind of hair for it, tho.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: Yay, Daisy! I didn’t realize you were old enough to remember “Toast-on-a-Stick”! That was another of our props, tho I can’t find the picture.

    stephanie barr: Are people even allowed to have mullets in this day and age? And, no, you could never be a dumbass. Not with a blog titled “Rocket Scientist”!

    Babs – beetle: I’m very sorry you missed the “Mullet” look, tho I’ve seen some of your 60s pictures, and you were cute as a button. I bet you were just as cute in the 80s.

    Jeff: THANK YOU! I was going for Sheena Easton back then. With a touch of that Stray Cats singer—Brian Setzer. Honestly, we thought we were so funny and witty that we would just be invited on the show to . . . stand around in our Indian University sweatshirts and gaps. Didn’t I say I was a dumbass?

    Angelika: You have to be pretty far gone to put on the Hoosier sweats. But we blended in with everyone else pretty well, since we were at Indiana U.

    brooke: Why not?!

    mlm: Being IU students, we could not dream of donning Ball State U. regalia, even for Dave. (and you’re right—he did go to Ball State). Your mullet sounds just like mine. Yeah! Foxy, indeed!

  12. 12 Puglette

    I love Dave! Although he does frighten one of the pugs… Never had the mullet, had some serious perms in the 80′s…I was a punk rock girl in San Francisco.

    A favorite game to play is “Who will you invite to dinner?” Six people, living or not, to invite to a dinner. Dave is always number one on my list, but the game usually degrades to who would you lock yourself in a hotel room with for a weekend. That would be Bruce Springsteen. ;o)

    Puglette’s last blog post..More Gratitude

  13. 13 Regan

    Considering I wasn’t alive back then, I didn’t do any of that. Although, when I’m old enough, I would want to go onto the following shows: ((If they’re still around))

    Survivor
    The Amazing Race
    America’s Next Top Model
    Family Feud

  14. 14 Maureen

    Har! OMG…. thank goodness I was too old for all that in the 80′s… but then again, I had to go thru the silly fashions of the 70′s.

    Maureen’s last blog post..It’s Tradition

  15. 15 Trade Show Guru

    hi JD,
    Ahhhh… mullets and memories.
    I was a long haired hippy freak of sorts in high school. I used to look back at pictures and think “what was I thinking with that long hair”? Now I look at those pictures and wish I had the option of long hair (though I’d get it cut short)… there’s been a bit of a retreat lately.
    ~ Steve (aka the aging trade show guru)

    Trade Show Guru’s last blog post..Please help Will

  16. 16 Jen - Queen of Poo

    Oh yes, LOVED David Letterman in the 80′s. (Now? Not so much.)

    So, I take it you didn’t get on the show?

    The gap toothed smiles are awesome!

    Jen – Queen of Poo’s last blog post..Monday Morning Musing

  17. 17 Kathy

    It’s funny. I never went for the mullet look. My hair is so curly, I always wanted to straighten it. This technique gave me a football helmet look (hard to describe). When the humidity hit it, the look turned into Chaka Khan. So I really had an original look going on, one I prefer to forget. Although, I’ll post a picture someday, because what do we do when we’re mortified? Blog about it! Well done, my friend.

    Kathy’s last blog post..My Disease and The Winner’s Circle

  18. 18 Jenny

    Through no fault of my own, I was born in Kokomo. Does that count?

    All four of my children were born in the Hoosier state too. None of us live there now and I doubt ever will again, LOL!

    My favorite Letterman thing has always been “Will It Float?”

    Jenny’s last blog post..Fall In All

  19. 19 JD

    Puglette: I’m sure I’d have picked Dave as a dinner guest in the 80s, but probably not now. Not because I love him less, but there are other men in my life. As for the hotel room? Gerard Butler. But if you’d asked me in the 80s, it probably would’ve been Bono or Darryl Hall.

    Regan: I bet all those shows will still be around. If you could pick only one, which would it be?

    Maureen: You know, looking back, I think I was a little too old for all of that, too. Boy, I really did love that mullet.

    Trade Show Guru: We just don’t appreciate our hair enough when we’re young. Altho I have to say, I like my hair better now than I did then (and not just because there’s no trace of a mullet).

    Jen – Queen of Poo: No, surprisingly we were not invited on the show. We wrote a letter and everything! We were sure the matchstick-gaps were our Golden Ticket. Oh, well.

    Kathy: I think you’re lucky you never went for a mullet, and not just because your hair wasn’t mullet-friendly. I’ve got a few more horrifying pictures, too, and of course I’ll have to post them. It’s a sort of catharsis.

    Jenny: I don’t man to imply that Hoosiers are dumbasses. Just the ones in the above photo. (And, being from Illinois, I was really an honorary dumbass Hoosier). So, to answer your question, I think you (and your kids) are fine. Unless you have mullets.

  20. 20 Tim

    Ah, the mullet. I think it looked good on you. It is one of these rare unisex hairstyles! Like you mentioned JD, we didn’t call them that at the time. I am afraid I have some thinning up top these days. Not bald yet, but if I grow one now it would be closer to a ‘skullet’ :)

    Tim’s last blog post..Spam-a-Lam-a-Ding-Dong – Spametry Lives On

  21. 21 unfinishedrambler

    I can’t say I was that crazy for Dave. But he was a lot better back in the 80s.

    I just wish he would have ditched Paul a while ago. Hope I don’t offend you by saying that. :) I still loved Dave. Is that OK?

    unfinishedrambler’s last blog post..The Wife and I go to the Wal-Marts OR I don’t get out much

  22. 22 Karen

    Ha! I am old enough to remember watching Dave on the afternoon news here in Indiana. Crazy dude!

    Karen’s last blog post..Fill Your Bathtub with Cereal

  23. 23 Fashion Paramedic

    I’ve got three words for you:

    Super Dave Osborne

    I used to love LOVE Letterman. But I’m an old fart now and can never stay up late enough to watch him.

    I’m diggin the do . . . I never went mullet in the 80′s. I was a rocker chic, so I kept my hair LONG and HIGH. I fully believe that without my individual support, Aqua Net would have gone out of business by 1989.

  24. 24 Dwayne

    How embarrassing for you. Also, just thought you should know that you’re still a dumb ass, and I hope you die soon.

    Have a great day.

    Dwayne.

  25. 25 The Hawg!

    Wow! College kids are prone to obsessive behavior, huh?

    In my case, that just meant a bunch of Polos, Adidas and trench coats in the winter.

    Your Letterman obsession, now, that’s truly something else!

    The Hawg!’s last blog post..Time from some Arko-centric news

  26. 26 Regan

    Hmmm…..

    Probably ANTM

    Do you wanna be on top? (top) (top) (top)? Yes, I do wanna be on top (top) (top) (top)

    And then I would go on the Amazing Race with Brooke. Right, Brooke? We’d win the money fer sure.

  27. 27 JD

    Tim: HAW! The skullet. I love it. I’m pretty sure if we called them mullets back then—even withOUT all the negative connotation—I wouldn’t have worn it. “Mullet” just sounds so . . . mullety.

    unfinishedrambler: Aw! You didn’t offend me in the least. I have always been sort of ambivalent about Paul. And Dave was better in the 80s, for sure.

    Karen: WOOO! I think I may actually be that old, too, tho I never saw him on the news. He’s certainly come a long way. You probably never thought back then that he’d someday be dissing a presidential candidate for blowing him off!

    Fashion Paramedic: Super Dave! YESSS! Thank you for reminding me of him. And isn’t he Albert Brooks’s brother? Anyway, yeah. I’m too old for Dave now, too. And tho my Late Night Beer days are long gone, I do still love a good Toast-on-a-Stick. Oh! Um, we’re gonna need pictures of your 80s hairdo, please.

    Dwayne: Woo! I was just complaining to someone who was called the “c” word by a commenter that no one ever insults me like that. I think I’ve trumped her. I have been wished dead! It doesn’t get more insulting than that. Sniff. I feel like I’m finally a real blogger.

    The Hawg!: It was definitely something else . . . it makes me wonder why 7 young college chicks were sitting around making Late Night Beer labels instead of going out to the bars.

    Regan: Oh, that theme song is SO annoying! Are you sure you could handle all those catty girls? Still, that would probably be my show of choice as well. At least you get food on that show (tho you’re probably discouraged from eating it).

  28. 28 Tom @ Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations

    JD– craaaaazy idea that Dave might actually like: offer to be on again. You could be the-friends-whose-application-was lost-in-the-mail-for-20-years,-or-whatever. I defy him to say no to you after all this time, what with the extra-mile matchsticks and all….
    Can’t find all your friends in that photo? Does it matter? Stand-ins. Dress your husband in drag. Offer to reconstitute your mullets….

    But will you be able to make the pyramid?

    Tom @ Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations’s last blog post..Zodiac Matches for Men Born Under the Pig Sign

  29. 29 Tom @ Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations

    Sorry me again– BTW I’ve heard it said that in like 18,000 years the USA will be remembered only for Rambo and mullets. For visceral, atavistic impact that knows no borders including even (I’ve heard) some present-day employees in the Patpong district of a major SE Asian tourist trap, one can’t deny mullet-effect or mullet affect as the case may be, and that’s all for now, I promise.

    Tom @ Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations’s last blog post..Zodiac Matches for Men Born Under the Pig Sign

  30. 30 stephanie barr

    Beautiful, masterful handling of a heckler who apparently needs to get back on his meds.

    I’m glad you did it so I don’t have to. I bring nuclear weapons.

    stephanie barr’s last blog post..Apparently I am Waxing Philosophical…

  31. 31 Tiggy

    I never had a mullet, but I did go through a ‘Robert Smith of the Cure’ hair phase at high school in the late ’80s. Having curly red hair, it was quite a feat of patience and hairspray.

    Happily I’ve burnt all the photos.

    Tiggy’s last blog post..Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – Cat Activity Centre

  32. 32 JD

    Tom @ Chinese Zodiac Marriage Combinations: Oh, man, what a great idea. Even if I can’t re-create my 80s physique, it could kind of be a then-and-now angle. As for the pyramid—I certainly wouldn’t be on top, I can tell you that. And you are welcome to expound upon the cultural effects of the mullet here ANY time.

    stephanie barr: Thanks, Stephanie. Poor guy just wants to stir up some trouble and get some traffice. I doubt he’ll be back if he sees that he gets no link love or blog title in his comments. I tend to bring the nuclear weapons when my blogger friends get nasty comments, but when it comes to mine (and it doesn’t happen very often), I am pretty philosophical.

    Tiggy: Dang! I want photos! I had a huge thing for Robert Smith, but by that time I was past the dramatic hairstyles, pretty much, or I might’ve gone for that look myself. Oh, double dang. I do so want to see what a curly-haired, redheaded Robert Smith Tiggy would look like.

  33. 33 Jay

    Thanks for doing that for me! I did enjoy his interviews with Johnny Depp, I must say .. but on the whole I’d rather be on this side of the viewing screen!

    Do you want to go on Oprah for us next? Or maybe Judge Judy?

    Don’t tell me neither of those shows runs anymore. I watch so little TV, it could well be true! I’m so glad I have people like you to watch it all for me! LOL!

    Jay’s last blog post..Leonard Cohen

  34. 34 Cindy Lietz, Polymer Clay Tutor

    I love David Letterman… loved the stupid pet tricks…. and had pretty much the exact hairdo! Not sure if that qualifies me as a Dumbass Hoosier but if it does, so be it!

    Cindy Lietz, Polymer Clay Tutor’s last blog post..Flaming Heart Tattoo Inspired Jewelry – Polymer Clay Cane Designs

  35. 35 dcr

    I thought David Letterman was funny in the 80s, but then I grew up. ;-)

    I have a Ball State scarf. Does that count for anything?

    dcr’s last blog post..Help Me Decide…

  36. 36 ann of thejunkdrawerblogfamily

    It’s like a conference of mulletheads. Hey, where’s Jeff in that picture?

  37. 37 JD

    Jay: Well, I’m pretty sure Oprah’s still on; as for Judge Judy, if her show isn’t on, then there’s some other judge, doling out the justice. I pick Oprah. I bet you get your own hair and makeup person!

    Cindy Lietz, Polymer Clay Tutor: You are an honorary Dumbass Hoosier! Congratulations. I don’t know the significance of the title, but at least you’ve got bragging rights.

    dcr: You are an honorary Hoosier (sorry, I can’t bestow the full honorary title on you). I haven’t watched Letterman in years, but I thought he was still funny?

    ann of the junkdrawerblogfamily: HA! Yeah, we’re missing Jeff, doing some kind of frightful air guitar pose. His mullet would tower over our entire pyramid!

  38. 38 Lux

    Er … my mom is an (ex) Hoosier. ;-)

    Lux’s last blog post..Happy B-Day, Ninsy!

  39. 39 Corrina

    Your. Hair. Is. Awesome. :-)

    That is all.

    Corrina’s last blog post..And The Ex’s Keep Comin’

  40. 40 brooke

    You cant because then i wouldnt be able to see you that late.

  41. 41 Preston

    I had a mullet for a very short period of time. I also had THE Michael Jackson Thriller Jacket, which I wore with black parachute pants that had red zippers. Yes, I did. And I wore that outfit not just to clubs but to the grocery store or the mall. Can you imagine that? A 20-something gay man in his Michael Jackson thriller wanna be outfit with his 8-ish year old daughter in tow who was probably wearing three quarter length pink tights with a stiff white lacy skirt attached and a double layer off the should top. Yup. It’s all true!

    Preston’s last blog post..I Am NOT Corky St. Claire

  42. 42 JD

    Lux: Hoorray for (ex) Hoosiers! As long as she didn’t have a mullet or do stupid David Letterman-related stunts in college, she need not fear being called a dumbass.

    Corrina: Thank you. I wish I didn’t hear the (“-ly bad”) at the end of that sentence, but it just kind of creeps in.

    brooke: Oh, you can tape it, right?

    Preston: Oh, man. PICTURES! And I hope your daughter had enough self-awareness at the age of 8 to be mortified!

  43. 43 Florida Girl In Sydney

    I love Larry Bud Melman and David Letterman… and after all that you never got on the show???? That’s pure injustice.

    Florida Girl In Sydney’s last blog post..Dolly Parton Does Australia

  44. 44 JD

    Florida Girl In Sydney: We were devastated. We couldn’t see how we’d get turned down. They never even wrote us back!

  45. 45 Sara

    Oh man, that’s funny. I lovvve the mullet. I only wish I had had one in the 80s so I could look back and laugh too.

    Sara’s last blog post..Nurses are Great Too — Compliment #14

  46. 46 Fashion Paramedic

    Being wished dead so totally beats being called the “c” word. You’ve totally arrived. Pretty soon you’ll be parodied on SNL and then no one will think you’re cool anymore because of your commercial success.

    So, can I claim partial credit because that doofus’ comment came after mine? I feel like I somehow brought him with me . . . :)

  47. 47 JD

    Sara: Little did I know then how hard I (and everyone else) would be laughing at my hair. I thought I was being stylish! And I don’t even think the word “mullet” had been invented yet. Weird.

    Fashion Paramedic: Oh, you would never bring such negativity, FP! No, I think he appeared all on his own. As for being famous enough for SNL, could Tina Fey play me? And . . . wait. People think I’m cool! ALL RIGHT!


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