I Threw Out My Wedding Dress
Published by JD May 13th, 2008 in , I Get Personal.And it used to be for a while
That the river flowed right to my door
Yesterday my mother-in-law asked me if I still had my wedding dress. Oh, how badly I wanted to lie. But I’m trying to be more honest—in speech if not in actions—so out came the truth, as gently as I could word it:
Nope! I threw it out.
She was slack-jawed for a minute, but Dave came to my rescue. “Well, we recently did a big clean-out of our basement, and we were pretty ruthless in getting rid of stuff.”
I know, I know. I could have taken it to a resale shop, sold it on eBay, had a seamstress make it into a parachute or something . . . there were definitely options available to me other than throwing it out unceremoniously with the taped-together blender, 400 pairs of sneakers, and waffle iron.
But, people, I am lazy. And realistic.
Top 10 Reasons I Got Rid of My Wedding Dress
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I really don’t see myself wearing it to too many places.
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But if I did want to wear it, I could still TOTALLY fit into it . . .
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. . . if I contracted a severe wasting disease and lost 50 lbs. in one day.
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Anyway, I don’t want to.
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The price to clean and store it properly is prohibitive . . .
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. . . and I would rather spend my money on cupcakes and US magazine.
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I look terrible in white.
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YES, I said “white.”
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I’m just not that sentimental . . .
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. . . tho I could not bear to part with the guitar trophy I won for playing “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head” when I was 10.
Anyway, you think I’m bad? My mother-in-law had to confess that she’d gotten rid of her bridal veil in what seems to me a much more violent manner: she lit a match to it and BURNED it! Man, I just tossed my dress out into the alley.
If you want to throw out your wedding dress:
Stop! There are alternatives if you’re less lazy and more sentimental than I am:
I suppose reminiscing about throwing away my wedding dress may not be the best way to say “I love you” to the man I’ve been married to for 18 years, but it’ll do.
Happy Anniversary, Honey!
Whether my dress is in a bag in the basement or hanging in my closet, I couldn’t love you more.
38 Responses to “I Threw Out My Wedding Dress”
- 1 Trackback on Aug 18th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Lol, I never had a wedding dress to throw out since we just walked into the courthouse and signed papers. Didn’t even have a judge wave his hands at us or anything. How very romantic it was! NOT! Personally I think it shows one of the many reasons it didn’t last.
Congrats on the 18 years! That’s something to brag on in a time of fast weddings and divorces! You’re maintaining a standard in times of, well, none. I always think it’s wonderful to see couples who have lasted through the years, and better to see ones who can throw out their wedding apparel just because it’s taking up room instead of burning it because it didn’t last
JT’s last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day!
Oh mercy … I laughed till I cried reading this … as always.
WHITE?????? LOL!
Just kidding. I have mine … it still hangs in the bag where I put it on June 16th, 1979, at approximately 2:45 p.m.
My daughter had hers hermetically sealed in a box that, I swear, reminds me of a coffin. That thing creeps me out.
I’m not throwing mine away, though … when I lose 75 pounds I’ll dye it black, cut it off, and wear it to Wal-Mart.
With a hat.
And most likely a diaper! LOL.
jennypenny’s last blog post..Quick! Kick Him While He’s Down!
Okay, first of all, waffle irons are cool. =)
I don’t hav a wedding dress, but do have some clothes I don’t exactly want anymore. My mom won’t get me gtet rid of them.
I’ve still got mine. It’s in a box. The only place I could were it and not look foolish would be (a) a RenFaire or (b) a Halloween party. One of these days, I’ll probably get around to selling it. Along with all my husband’s Warhammer 40K figurines that are crated up in the utility room.
Kelly’s last blog post..Blue Rose Mandala
Mine’s in a little-used closet, right where I put it the day we moved into this house. It was one of the last things I threw in the car during the move. No sentimentality here. That last load of crap contained a broom, buckets, cleansers, a vacuum cleaner, hangers, and misc. odds and ends. And then there was the dress. I looked quite the sight when I stopped at a fast food restaurant on the way back to the new house. I’m sure the lady at the drive-thru thought I would go to hell for treating my dress that badly. Whatever. The dress means very little to me. It’s the wedding memories mean everything.
p.s. You look so beautiful in your dress!
Kathy’s last blog post..A Bridal Registry for the Insane
Hopefully, my wedding dress has made someone else very happy. Got rid of it many moons ago. I loved that dress . . . but it was a bit much to wear out to eat, on shopping trips, or just to go for a stroll. (Especially if I didn’t have on the foofy slip.) So, I bid it farewell and took it to Goodwill. (I wore white too–and I didn’t even get struck by lightening!)
Fashion Paramedic’s last blog post..It’s All About MommyFest!
Good for you! Unless I paid a fortune for my wedding dress, and it was made by Vera Wang herself, I doubt I’d keep it longer than a couple of years. Why? Not gonna wear it again and since I’m never having kids- I won’t have a daughter to force it on anyway. LOL
Butt Spider’s last blog post..Photography Goodness
Well I actually made my own wedding dress. It was white velvet with a dark green velvet cloak. Well what would you expect from a 60’s wedding? The marriage didn’t last, and the dress & cloak moved with me for some years. I just knew I would need them one day. Sure enough, the material came in very useful and allowed me to make other things. I can’t remember what though.
babs (beetle)’s last blog post..Doodle You - Beetle
Mine is hanging in our little closet of Halloween costumes.
Yup… it’s 28 years old now, and there is no way in hell I am fitting into it again, so if anyone wants it as a costume, it’s there.
And I wouldn’t dare even suggest daughter use it one day.
But I can’t throw it out; not yet. After all, I made it myself, and was quite proud of that at the time.
Well when I watched ‘27 Dresses’, for bridesmaids, you can just cut your dress and wear again!
Yeah, why DO we hang onto the things? Mine has been with me since 1976 and is in a bag … um .. somewhere in the house! It wasn’t one of those fancy silk and lace things with whalebone, it was made out of wide white seersucker cotton with orange and yellow braid (which also went around the white wide-brimmed hat I wore with it). We were broke!
I wouldn’t fit into it now. So why am I keeping it? I suppose it is just sentimentality.
Jay’s last blog post..Back in the saddle again - Part 2
JT: Thanks for the congrats. I feel pretty proud of making it this far. I’m sorry your experience was a little different. Did you really burn your wedding dress? You and my mother-in-law, what a pair!
jennypenny: Are you daring to question my white dress??? Seriously, I love your idea. I should’ve done that with mine. And the hat. A perfect touch. And the diaper . . . , well, maybe not so much.
Regan: OK, I agree. Waffle irons are cool. If I’d known you last summer when we cleaned out our basement, I’d have given you ours.
Kelly: HA! RenFaire. That’s great. I’d probably have been right at home there in my wedding dress. I do feel a little guilty about getting rid of it, but it’s nice to have purged our basement of all that other junk.
Kathy: I agree that I look beautiful. NO! I’m kidding. I agree that the wedding dress is such a small part of the big picture. I know not everyone feels that way, but to me, it’s just a dress. I actually wish now I’d gone with my first choice, which was about 500 yards of fabric less. Oh, well.
Fashion Paramedic: I’m glad you survived wearing a white dress. And I’m sure you’re right: someone else got to enjoy your dress, thanks to your generosity. I could at least have dumped the garbage bag containing my dress in front of the Salvation Army store, but I’m just too lazy.
Butt Spider: (Can I say how happy it makes me to type that name?) Yeah, I think the idea of “passing on” the dress to a daughter is not as fashionable as it once was. I don’t have kids, so that was a no-brainer.
babs (beetle): Wow! I’m sorry your marriage didn’t work out, but way to be resourceful: not only making your wedding dress but using it to make other clothes. I really admire that. And it actually sounds very lovely. Do you have any pictures?
Maureen: Another talented seamstress! I could barely make the obligatory smock top in high school home-ec, so I’m amazed at someone who can actually make a wedding dress. I wouldn’t get rid of a dress I made myself, or even a smock top, for that matter.
Regan: Now, see, if I had seen that movie, maybe I’d be wearing my wedding dress today: as pajamas!
Jay: It’s interesting (and reassuring) to me to hear how many of you have stuffed your dresses in out of the way places. I felt guilty having mine in a garbage bag in our basement—I almost feel better now that it’s gone. Your dress sounds pretty!
Actually, throwing out your wedding dress isn’t a bad way to tell your man you love him. It certainly suggests you won’t be needing it ever again
Happy Anniversary to both of you!
My wife and I are celebrating our 18th this summer too!
I’ve seen several people make quilts out of a bride’s wedding dress for her to remember and cherish.
Mine had enough fabric to make the quilt plus some shams, canopy, sheets…..
elasticwaistbandlady’s last blog post..From The ‘Cheez-Its, How Many Blogs Can One Woman Possibly Have?’ Files
I have a subscription to US Weekly. And I’m not ashamed to say it. Well, kind of ashamed.
H.’s last blog post..Resort Part 3 - The Celebrity Sighting
Good for you JD. I still have my dress in a box in my closet, although I gave the shoes and veil to my daughter to play dress-up when she was much younger. You’ve given me the inspiration to go in that closet and drive it right to the thrift store where it can hang on their rack for the rest of eternity.
ha! my wife did not want to keep ours so her mom actually cleaned in and keep it as her house. maybe our next child will be a girl, otherwise our son’e wedding is going to be AWKWARD!
Mine is forever preserved in what looks like a giant cake box, complete with clear plastic window for the convenience of gazers-upon. Although I couldn’t tell you where that box is now, come to think of it…. and it’s not like anyone could actually take it out without ruining it…. so it’s really more like a coffin than a cake box… and I’ve never overused ellipses so much in all my gaddamn life but I’ve honestly never thought about my poor dress in its airless box of death before….
huh. Kinda creepy.
maggie, dammit’s last blog post..are you still reading?
This is a current conundrum for me. Mine has been hanging on a hanger in the closet for the last 13.5 years. Never been cleaned, not preserved, the veil is on the top of the hanger.
But it feels like something bad will happen if I throw it away, you know? Since it has perspiration stains from over 13 years ago, I’m guessing it’s probably cannot be salvaged.
I think I’ll probably let it hang in the closet until I die and my kids have to throw it away. Yeah, I’ll let that bad omen hang on them. That works for me.
cardiogirl’s last blog post..I don’t think Chris Matthews would have a good bedside manner, if he were a doctor
Jeff: Good point! I hadn’t thought of it that way. Congratulations to you and Cherie!
elasticwaistbandlady: I wasn’t kidding when I said mine could be used to make a parachute. I think a quilt is a lovely idea.
H.: Well, we both outed ourselves, so we can’t be too ashamed. Wait, I still am…
ann of the shampoo bag: Yeah! Let the thrift store take care of it. They’ve got plenty of room. Do you still have the shoes and veil? I threw my shoes out, too.
Canucklehead: Oh, dear. Yes, for your son’s sake, I hope a daughter is on the way. For the love of God! Please let it be a girl! I should’ve thought to ask your mother-in-law to store my dress too.
maggie, damnit: (love the name) Ah, yes. The underappreciated ellipses. They come in handy when reminiscing, don’t they? So I take it your cake box/coffin didn’t receive too many gazers?
…?
cardiogirl: Great idea! If you can’t leave something for your kids to cherish, leave something to make them feel guilty! So far, nothing bad has happened to me since I threw mine out, but you never know.
You go girl! I’m all about getting rid of stuff. Unfortunately my in-laws and the rest of my husband’s relatives are all about giving us their old shit. They would just DIE if the red, white and blue pinstriped sofa were to leave the clan.
Alice’s last blog post..Rainy Days and Footless Socks Always Get Me Down
As of yesterday, my wedding dress has been in a box under the bed or in a closet or in the attic for 18 years. I love the idea of donating!!!
RenFaire, indeed! Purchased at one, in fact, so it’s the gen-u-ine article.
Yep, I should sell it. Somebody out there will love it.
Kelly’s last blog post..Doodle Week Day 6
Alice: Woo! I’m so glad I posted this. My guilt is slowly evaporating. I know whatchya mean about in-laws and family forcing stuff on you. We got rid of some paintings and furniture I KNOW we were supposed to keep, but, oh, well.
Lori: Well, it’s too late for my lazy ass, but I hope people who still have their dresses will think about donating. There are some great causes out there.
My wedding dress is actually a black floral maternity romper…
that about says it all and the fact that I have five kids now.
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Michelle Gartner: Wait, are you kidding? I have to read your blog to find out…
Kelly: WAIT! I keep not believing some of these things I’m reading. You bought your wedding dress at a RenFaire??? Did it come with a giant turkey leg?
Nope, the turkey leg was separate.
And yes. At the RenFaire in Larkspur, Colorado. I’ll have to dig out those pictures.
Kelly’s last blog post..Doodle Week Day 7
Kelly: You are my hero. Yes, pictures, PLEASE!
hey if you’re not going to wear it again, toss it. did you see the wedding/prom dress made out of toilet paper floating around on the web…how useful is that. 1,001 uses.
I’m afraid the marriage seemed doomed from the start. The photographer messed all the photos up, so I only got photos that the guests took! They all got transferred on to cine film for safe keeping - huh! It turned out that cine film had a very short life span. After almost 40 years I still remember everything in very clear detail though.
babs (beetle)’s last blog post..Doodle You - Beetle
Natural: Well, in my next life, maybe I’ll wear a toilet-paper dress. It would certainly be much more practical. Hopefully I won’t ever have to worry about what to wear on my wedding day again.
babs (beetle): Oh, boy. I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve heard horror stories about photographers messing up and having to rely on guests’ photos. Funny how you remember those things . . .
Aside from the prohibitive cost of storing and cleaning, do you know how freaking HUGE that box is they give it to you in? I survey people’s houses for a living and I’d say about 25% of them have that ginormous box crammed in the back of a guest bedroom closet, taking up space. Everyone says “That’s my wedding dress” in a sort of annoyed way, like they wish Samantha would come along, wrinkle her nose, and make it disappear.
But who am I kidding. Mine is still hanging in the middle of my closet in the pink David’s Bridal bag and my THIRTEENTH ANNIVERSARY is in six months.
So if anyone needs a size 24 white dress with long sleeves and a cathedral length train, holla back. Its your basic South Jersey Catholic Bighair wedding dress.
Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Driving and Sighing
Shieldmaiden96: HA! That’s so true. “That’s my wedding dress” (why do I still have it???) But as many of us have proved, the damn thing is hard to get rid of for some reason. I bet you’ll get some takers on your NJ Big Hair Dress. Sounds like it might make a nice quilt!
And congrats on THIRTEEN YEARS!!!!
Ah Man you threw out that dress!! It would have made a FABULOUS set of curtains!!!
Cindy Lietz, The Polymer Clay Girl’s last blog post..Rubber Stamping Polymer Clay - A Popular Topic
Cindy Lietz, The Polymer Girl: I know! Curtains, a bedspread, some lacy blouses. It was a beautiful dress, but it is no more.
(By the way, some of your comments have been deemed spam by Akismet. I’ve rescued 2, but if there are others you don’t see showing up here, that’s why. I’m not deleting you!)
Maybe if I shorten my name up a bit like this it won’t get spammed!
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PolymerClayGirl: Arrgh! No, that didn’t work! Akismet still has it in for you. It’s fine as long as my spam doesn’t pile up, because I always check. But for some reason, if my spam messages go over one page, Akismet doesn’t show the rest of the pages.
Hang in there!