Bless you, bless you
All of you pretty girls
A few years ago, Dave issued the following statement:
“From now on, I won’t be saying ‘Bless you’ or ‘Gesundheit’ after you sneeze. I won’t be saying anything.”
“Um. OK. Any particular reason?”
“Nope. Just don’t want to.”
“Not even ‘you’re soooo good-looking’?”
“Nope.”
“Hmph.”
I was a little disappointed. You get used to these things, even if they are rote and meaningless. I don’t sneeze any more than the average person, but I do have a rather dramatic (some would say terrifyingly ear-splitting) sneeze that seems to require some sort of response, even if it’s “Oh, my god! Did you just lose your brain?”
And I don’t necessarily need the traditional “Bless you.” I’m not sure blessing me is the correct response after I have just lost my brain, but any sort of acknowledgment would do. I myself have always been a fan of the succinct “Shoo!” (a shortened form of “Bless you”)
Who knows why Dave does the things he does? I’ve given up trying to figure it out. But I’ll say this: He’s really stuck to his guns. Even after several years of his no-post-sneeze-response manifesto, I still find myself sneezing and saying, “Thank you” to a big pile of silence.
But a few days ago, after I sneezed, I heard a faint voice from the other room.
“Gazoo.”
“WHAT? Did you say Gesundheit?”
Sheepish silence.
“Did you say something after I sneezed??!!”
“I said ‘Gazoo.’”
“Is that your thing now? Gazoo?”
“Maybe.”
Later he admitted that it just slipped out. So, you see, not even Dave can resist the urge to respond to a sneeze, even if it’s with a made-up word.
(The funniest thing I ever heard after a sneeze was the sneezer himself, looking at his handkerchief and exclaiming, “An omelet!”)
If You’re Tired of Saying “Bless You”:
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Adopt this guy’s attitude.
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Say it in another language.
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Won’t someone please think of the atheists?
So, what, if anything, do you say after someone sneezes?
___________________________
Bless them all, every one.
46 Comments
An omelet?!! Eeeyuckkkk!
What you usually hear in our abode is:
If Mo sneezes – “Oh, for goodness sake! Call that a sneeze?”
If I sneeze – “Oh ****!!!! You made me jump!” followed by laughter from me. Mo used to say “Bless you” I wonder what changed. It may have something to do with the volume of my sneezes – by that I mean loudness ;O)
If I sneeze more than once (which is often with my allergy) it’s “Do you have to? I can’t here the TV”
Babs – beetle’s last blog post..My Voki post
I say bless you, Other Half also says bless you, even though he’ll call himself an agnostic or atheist depending on what day you ask him. It just feels polite to say something.
He does usually wait for a while after the last sneeze though and ask if I’ve finished yet. LOL!
Jay’s last blog post..The Amazing Jumping Water
My beloved is an atheist or something like that so when he sneezes I say, “Devil curse you, honey.” He responds with, “Thank you.”
When I sneeze he responds with, “You alright?” [Cause I shake my entire body and it really hurts when I have to sneeze.] Usually I am alright; Minus the 2 times I popped my chest and that was quite painful until it popped back.
My cat, Naji, [RIP] EVERY time I sneezed would – whether sleeping OR awake – respond with, “Heh-heh—-heh-heh—-heh-heh!” Yes. I loved sneezing when she was around. It was the cutest thing. Her eyes would get slanty like she was under a spell and the noise seemed to be completely involuntary. If she was purring, she maintained purring through it. It was wild.
Samsara’s last blog post..Top 7 Drunk and Alcoholic Related Episodes as a Kid
I’m appropriating ‘gazoo’ now. It’s much cooler than anything else I’ve heard.
Alice’s last blog post..Trainwreck Poker
First of all… “…find myself sneezing and saying, “Thank you†to a big pile of silence.” cracked me up.
Second of all… When I’m feeling particularly smart-assy, I’ll reply to someone’s “bless you” with “what are you… the Pope?” People love that. Not.
Third of all… I have a random sneeze detachment disorder where I’ll start sneezing for no reason and I won’t be able to stop for like 40 sneezes (seriously). And then it just stops. I’ve learned to tell my wife to stop with the “bless you”s after the 3rd sneeze or so because it’s gonna be awhile. Then she’ll reply with… “Oh, are you having another freak attack?” Ah… good times.
When I sneeze it sounds like I am trying to hold it in, but I’m not; that’s just how I sneeze. A college roommate used to tell me that my brains were going to come out of my ears if I kept sneezing like that.
And LOVE the XTC lyrics! Do I get bonus points for knowing them right away without clicking the link? Now I’ll have that song in my head all day.
Susan’s last blog post..Too Much of a Good Thing?
When my wife sneezes, I immediately run to her location in hopes that she is sufficiently disoriented that I can steal her glasses.
Since stealth is paramount, I don’t say anything.
SinisterDan’s last blog post..The Sinister Six
When I sneeze, I usually do it when my head is about 6 inches from my Mommie’s face so she gets most of the spray. She usually says “OH DAISY, YUCK-OH!” in a really loud voice. Then she gets a Kleenex. For herself.
Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..How to Grow Some Butterflies
To TG I simply say: “Good Grief! Do you do that just to irritate me?”
Because when he sneezes it sounds like a cross between a cataclysmic thunderclap all your shoeboxes falling out of your closet at one time.
He says nothing. As usual.
When anyone else besides TG sneezes, I say nothing. This commenced after someone actually told me they were OFFENDED when anybody said “God bless you” when they sneezed! He told me he would respond to them, real smart-alecky like, “God HAS blessed me.”
Well okay. No need to bite my head off. So I’m mum on the subject (one of the few subjects I be mum on) from now on. Don’t want to offend. Sheesh.
jennypenny’s last blog post..This Is My Town
The best thing to say when you sneeze is “Urrrhh, brains!”
I used to love playing that trick on my boss until he fired me.
Tiggy’s last blog post..Tiggy Investigates Man Boobs
I’m not sure blessing me is the correct response after I have just lost my brain…
When you sneeze, you are releasing the evil spirits from your body, so if no one blesses you, they’ll go back in.
I think that’s how the custom probably originated. If not, it sure sounds likely.
dcr’s last blog post..Thoughts.com: Interactive Blogging Community
Our first clue that we loved our cat too much was when he sneezed and Himself and I both said ‘bless you’ at the same time. Bless you to a creature who snuggles into my neck at 3am and pulls out my earrings with his teeth.
Shieldmaiden96′s last blog post..Summer Reading for the Terribly Awake
I’m good for one, but you start a sneezing fit and I am out. I’ll ignore a couple after the initial, but soon after that will start chastising you if you insist on continuing. It amuses me.
PG’s last blog post..It Should Be On My Wrist (164/365)
Babs – beetle: I’m still laughing over your Voki (Oh, DO shut up!) Anyway, yeah, “an omelet.” Pretty gross. I like your and Mo’s exchanges. You’re going to have to ask why “Bless you” is no longer used.
Jay: Yeah, I know what you mean. It seems rude (Dave) to ignore a sneeze. And I don’t need a response after EVERY sneeze (I usually get a good three or four in a run), just a simple something or other to make it all seem official.
Samsara: HA! I’ve gotta try that on Dave. He’ll appreciate it. And, oh! How sweet is your Naji’s reaction to a sneeze? That’s so funny! I’ve never heard of such a thing—and I’ve seen some weird cats. And, ouch! Chest popping!
Alice: I like “gazoo,” too. It seems just right.
Jeff: Is that an official condition? “Random sneeze detachment disorder”? I’ve heard of people sneezing like that but never witnessed it. Could you please do a Voki post, recording 40 sneezes? That would be a sight to see and hear.
Susan: I’ve heard that “brains coming out” story, too, or some variation that made me afraid to hold in a sneeze. But I have a piercing sneeze, and it’s sometimes worth the risk to stifle it.
Woo! You get extra-special bonus points for recognizing those lyrics! That’s not even a particularaly well-known XTC song, is it? I love it. Very catchy.
SinisterDan: You seem to be living up to your name, sneaking around and stealing things while your poor wife sneezes.
Daisy the Curly Cat: I can’t understand why your Mommie would be so selfish not to share the Kleenex when you’re being so considerate to sneeze right in her face!
jennypenny: In these politically correct times, maybe keeping our yaps shut is the best response. That, or “gazoo.”
Tiggy: Your boss is a big fat spoilsport. I’m definitely adopting “Urrrhh, brains” from now on. It goes nicely with my fetish for all things zombie.
dcr: Yes, that sounds about right. But who says they necessarily do go back in? Maybe once you sneeze, they’re out for good? Either way, a “bless you” couldn’t hurt, unless, of course, you’re offended by it.
Shieldmaiden96: Aw. You know, if I think about it, I’ll bet you Dave has actually said “bless you” to the cats. They didn’t get the statement issued to them. And I say “Shoo.” I really think they know what I’m saying!
PG: Heh. You’re quite right to be amused at chastising someone for sneezing too much. It can be extremely annoying (Jeff).
At a place I used to work, we would all respond “Damn! You’re good-looking!” to a sneeze. Could be really embarassing when that response slipped out at places other than work.
I, too, have a BIG sneeze. But you should really hear my hiccup. I sound like a donkey!
I’m glad you at least got a Gazoo out of Dave. You’re making progress! As for me, I have a little quirk (what else is new) where I’m at work and I don’t want to disturb anyone. I try to have a quiet series of sneezes, but then I get all nervous about being loud and then I can’t sneeze at all! Then my eyes blow up and I’m a mess for ten minutes. I do not sneeze later on to make up for the missed opportunity. I have a problem, right?
Kathy’s last blog post..She Speaks
When I sneeze most people don’t say anything cause their to busy laughing their heads off! I do the full body, face slammed into what ever is in front of me, WOOOOF! sneeze. I’ve even knocked self out against a door frame one time, which is a frequent cause of hilarity when someone asks me if I’m OK, and one of my wonderful co-workers tells them all about the time I sneezed and knocked myself out! I love those guys!
I say bless you, not because I’m blessing them, but I figure every one needs their soul chased back in now and then
JT’s last blog post..I LOVE MY JOB . .
I find myself automatically saying, “bless you,” even to strangers in stores, on the street, basically everywhere. I think it might be a compulsion now. I also like “gazoo” and may have to amend my auto-sneeze-response!
Chat Blanc’s last blog post..Pop psych*
These comment are hilarious! I laughed so much it made me sneeze!
“OH DAISY, YUCK-OH!â€
“Then my eyes blow up and I’m a mess for ten minutes.”
By the way. Where is your Voki?
Babs – beetle’s last blog post..My Voki post
Sadly I don’t have those cute little sneezes…so “holy cat!” is what I hear from people while I gracefully thank them.
inspirational cartoons for the soul
speakindoodles’s last blog post..Show that love
So now I have the image of that creepy green alien guy from the Flintstones in my head….
“The Great Gazoo”!
Thanks.
And Gesundheit.
(which is weird… I am of British decent and I always say Gesundheit. Hubby is German and he always says God Bless You. My daughter laughs every time we do that….)
I’m going to start using that word now. Gazoo. Maybe even at other times, like ‘how are you today?’ ‘gazoo’
Hi there, came across your blog via Corrina’s My Random Blog!
Funniest I ever heard, back in college…someone sneezed in class, and about 3 people simultaneously went, “SHHHHHHH!!!”
I don’t think it would have been that funny except for the fact that multiple people had the thought at the same time to shush the sneezer…..
Great blog
Angi’s last blog post..National Stupid Criminal Day
I’m a compulsive blesser, though I don’t always do it in English. Thanks for the link to all those other languages, by the way. Love ‘em!
I had a teacher in high school who would say “Bless you” on your first two sneezes in a series… then it was “Wear more sweaters!” I’ve used that one on particularly sneezey friends.
Kelly’s last blog post..Doodle Week: Garden
Lori: OK, we’re all expecting a Voki post from you now that you have revealed your donkey hiccup. Don’t worry. We’ll all shout, “Damn! You sound like a good-looking donkey!” from our computers.
Kathy: Now, here is where you and I differ. My sneeze MUST come out, I don’t care where I am. I could be at the pope’s funeral, and if I have to let one rip, out it comes.
You’ve got to stop suppressing these things. You are unable to burp, as well, right? I don’t want you to explode!
JT: WOW. That must be some sneeze! Were you out for long? It’s mean, but, like your friends, I would have to make endless fun of you for that, too (as long as you didn’t sustain lifelong injuries).
Chat Blanc: I’m on auto-respond, too. Our family always said, Gesundheit, but I’ve switched over to “bless you” (strangers) or “shoo” (nonstrangers). “Gazoo” is a nice compromise.
Babs – beetle: I know! I’m going to have to write a 2d Quotable Comments post sooner than I thought.
I’m working on a good Voki. But I don’t think I can top yours!
speakindoodles: Oh, I love “Holy Cat”! You get a little bit of the religious with my favorite animal. Perfect!
Maureen: HA! I know—I thought of that, too. I always HATED that character. WTF was he doing in the Stone Age? Made no sense.
H.: We’re gonna start a new trend here, I think. “Gazoo” will be one of those words that can meaning anything, depending on the situation and tone. And you have to say it with a sense of authority so no one questions you. They just look slightly confused and back away…
Angi: Hey! Welcome! Friends of Corrina’s are MOST welcome here. That is funny. You rarely hear that response and almost never a simultaneous multiple response. I think I’ll try a giant “SSSSHHH!” on a stranger some time soon.
Kelly: Maybe Jeff’s friends and family could adopt that practice (see comment above). Yeah, after the third sneeze, I’m over it. Shut up, already!
I’m going to Dr. Suess-ize “Gazoo” to “Gazoo-a-Baloo.” Or would that be Disney-izing it?
Meg’s last blog post..In Which I Lose The Battle
I jinxed myself. I haven’t had the hiccups in ages – until last night!!
Lol, I don’t know how long I was out, no one was around, I just woke up in an awkward straddle of the door. Yes, my sneezes are record worthy!
JT’s last blog post..I LOVE MY JOB . .
Oh I don’t believe it! I told Mo about the ‘devil’ thing and she said “Oh I’m going to keep blessing you now then. I’m sure you have the devil in you”
How nice is that?
Babs – beetle’s last blog post..My Voki post
Omelette? YUKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
windyridge’s last blog post..The Case of Cat
Meg: It sounds more Seussical to me. I like it!
Lori: Oh, no! I’m not laughing—really I’m not!
JT: “an awkward straddle of the door.” Now there’s a phrase you don’t hear too often.
Babs – beetle: Mo! Does she know how much you are loved out here in the blogosphere? She better shape up, or she’s going to have some angry bloggers at her doorstep!
windyridge: I know! But you can see it . . . right?
My usual response to sneezes are:
Could you warn me next time?
Stop!
Gross, something flew out.
Both my mother & my son have ear piercing sneezes. I do not want them sneezing in my direction (I don’t want to be hit by an omelet) and I’d like the chance to cover my ears to save what is left of my hearing.
Angelika’s last blog post..The Family that Preys
I *always* say “Bless you” after someone sneezes. It’s total and complete reflex. When I’m walking through a restaurant and someone at a table sneezes, I bust it out as I pass their table. Can’t help it.
And I, for one, need my sneezes acknowledged. lol You don’t even have to Bless Me, just yelling out “Dude!” will work just fine, thank you.
Corrina’s last blog post..I’m So Lame
I also have the I-say-bless-you reflex, can’t help it. And I have a real soft spot in my heart for big huge sneezes that make you say “wow”.
My grandmother used to sneeze so loud you thought her brain flew out of her head. Ah, the things you can come to love about a person.
Florida Girl In Sydney’s last blog post..This Is How The Pope Rolls…
Angelika: “I don’t want to be hit my an omelet” BWAH! How true. I’d rather suffer burst eardrums than an omelet in my face.
Corrina: I think the “Bless you” reflex is pretty common, as is the need for acknowledgment. I like “Dude!” That’s all we need!
Florida Girl in Sydney: Aw. Grandma’s sneezes. Let’s see, I’m getting an idea here:
Whiskers on kittens and warm summer breezes
Soft fuzzy mittens and loud Grandma’s sneezes . . .
Definitely try out the loud “SHHHH!” next time someone sneezes. And then make note as to whether they instinctively say “Oh…sorry…” or get mad.
Angi: I’m doing it. With my luck, they’ll not only get mad but aim any subsequent sneezes at me, so I get a good spraying. But it’s worth a try!
Funny JD! I will not say bless you until all uncontrolled body functions get a blessing: blinking, breathing, swallowing, coughing, brain fart and other things I won’t mention here.
Actually I don’t say bless you, or you’re soooo good looking or even gazoo after a sneeze. You only sneezed for heavens sake, why do you get a blessing. Go out and serve soup and in kitchen and then I might THINK about saying God Bless you.
Hey when I don’t say Bless You, nobody has died. I’m okay with that.
Normal body functions get no love.
Natural’s last blog post..Paper or Plastic?
Natural: Wow, some pretty strong feelings about “bless you,” eh?!
” . . . nobody has died” that you KNOW of!
Also, how do we know when to respond to brain farts?
I do the reflexive “bless you,” and yes, i bless total strangers, parakeets, cats, and an occasional sign post. I’m a veritable Mother Teresa around sneezing flora and fauna. Hey, I’m from the South, some things we just can’t help. Besides, New Orleans has so many spirits of all kinds just hanging around free lance-like, you don’t want to risk one getting into your parakeet or something.
Dave’s Gazoo made me think of the Flintstones’ aggravating little green man as well – hey, maybe the whole omelet-spray experience is what caused his greenish glow? No wonder he was so disagreeable.
Elle’s last blog post..Back to the Doodling – EVIL!
An omlet? How odd…
Elle: Well, there’s certainly no harm in the reflexive “bless you.” I’m sure even the signposts appreciate it.
Does anyone like that stupid Gazoo character from The Flintstones? Your omelet theory is hilarious!
Regan: I won’t try to elaborate on the omelet thing. It’s kinda gross . . .
In Czech, you say ‘je to pravda’ after somebody sneezes. It means ‘it is the truth’, and so whatever the sneezer said right before they sneezed was the truth. Try it– I always giggle at what the truths end up being!
Dana’s last blog post..Bear With Me
Dana: Oh, that’s a great one! I will definitely try it. Thanks for popping in!
I am so disappointed that I cannot convey the depths of my laughter. An Omelet! Ew! but awesome!
jennyonthespot’s last blog post..6 random things.
jennyonthespot: “Ew! but awesome!” is EXACTLY the reaction I’m usually going for here. I’m not disappointed: you did some excellent conveying.