I Scammed a Happy Meal

Hungry for the meeting
The dinner we’ll be eating

All this recent talk of mealworms made me remember one of my bucket list entries:

Purchase and eat a McDonald’s Happy Meal — without getting caught!

Because you have to have proof of child, right, to legitimately buy a Happy Meal? I mean, there’s a reason your local brasserie has a kids’ menu. You can’t order the “Wee Folks Mac & Cheese”  because the server will be all like, YOU’RE FIFTY!

So I figured it must be the same for Happy Meals. No Happy Meals to anyone over four feet — but then what about dwarves? Can you tell how I’ve been agonizing over this? I mean, really. Dwarves?

But all of the sudden it occurred to me: If I place my order via the drive-thru window . . . how would they ever know? Unless the drive-thru operator’s camera scans your car for humanoid shapes under four feet? But I’m sure I’ve never heard the disembodied voice ask, “Is that a child or a dwarf, ma’am?” whenever anyone in front of me ordered a Happy Meal, so maybe they don’t check.

Also, if interrogated, I could always say my child is at home, too sick to accompany me. “She has the plague! And her dying wish is for a Happy Meal!” I’m sure they’d fork it over and probably feel really guilty, which would be a bonus.

So that was my plan, as I set out that cold January day, full of anticipation and fear and hunger. To SCAM a Happy Meal out of McDonald’s and eat it by my almost-fifty-year-old-self.

Now, I’m a good liar if it’s spontaneous. But this lie had been years in the making. I was nervous.

“One Happy Meal, please,” I said in a trembling voice.

“Boy or girl?”

Whaaat? I was not prepared for this question. Why did it matter? Were they trying to trick me into screaming “NONE OF THE ABOVE” and tearing out of there?

Terrified and confused, I said, “I’m sorry?”

“Do you want a girl’s Happy Meal or a boy’s?”

Ohhhhhh, right. ‘Cuz you get a toy. I said, “Girl” but regretted it almost immediately, because I bet the boy toy is better (and yes, I meant it like that).

“What would you like?”

Again, stymied! I would like a Happy Meal! A Girl Happy Meal! What other information am I supposed to provide? The jig is up! They’re onto me. Should I bail or fake my way through this?

I had come too far to abandon my dream. I faked it.

“Uhhh . . . a cheeseburger and fries?” No response. Phew. Either that was the right answer or they had pulled up my personal information on their computer and the cops were waiting at my house.

“Milk or apple juice?”

Oh, man, I was getting away with it! This was starting to feel fun. Plus — apple juice! No wonder they call this a Happy Meal!

But I still had to get by the cashier.

I was ready for anything she might say: “I hope you . . . I mean, your daughter enjoys her Happy Meal” or “You’re buying this for a dwarf, aren’t you?” or “YOU’RE FIFTY!” but none of those things happened. I paid and received my greasy bag.

Off I sped, shaking with triumph.

So was it worth it?

Oh, yes. Lookit.

Would you lie for a Happy Meal?

Would you even eat a Happy Meal?

Do Happy Meals ever decompose?

Milk or apple juice?

______________

Dopey came from here

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57 Comments


57 Responses to “I Scammed a Happy Meal”

  1. 1 Flit

    So …what was the boy toy? They almost always ARE better.

    I used to buy happy meals for my ma-in-law and save the toys for stocking stuffers or just to have for when kids came to visit. Unless, of course, they glowed in the dark, in which case they were automatically mine!
    Flit´s last blog post ..Some days

  2. 2 Bernie

    Oh, I’m so glad that you are back and posting! I have missed you.

    Fun idea of getting a happy meal. I think that the hubs and I shall have to try that. You are so lucky you got a pretty pony. What are you going to do with that? *lower lip quiver*
    Bernie´s last blog post ..Would It Be Bad To Put My Cat on Drugs

  3. 3 Jeremy from We Took The Bait

    Back in college, I had what may be considered an unhealthy fascination with Grimace from McDonald’s.

    As far as mascots for… anything…. go, he’s still my absolute favorite.

    I had a stuffed Grimace in my dorm room that I had picked up at a yard sale. ‘Cause that’s how I roll.

    In the Fall of ’95, McDonald’s offered Happy Meal toys that were little plastic figurines of the characters in removable Halloween garb.

    That year, I had about ten friends knock on my door and hand me the toy that they had picked up by ordering Happy Meals.

    Either Happy Meals are popular among the college crowd, or my friends just instinctively knew that I’d be elated with the gift of what became a small army of Grimaces.
    Jeremy from We Took The Bait´s last blog post ..Review – Twin Draft Guard

  4. 4 Stephanie Barr

    I’m afraid you worried for nothing. When the happy meals have collectibles in them (like the beanie babies or certain lego sets), I know devoted parents (aka zealots) who insist their children have to have every flippin’ one.

    So they drive around to different local McD’s and purchase Happy Meals at all of them, then go back to scarf down all the cooling meals and pick over the free goodies hoping for the ONE they are missing (which is apparently only distributed in Nepal).

    Oh, well. No one appreciates a Happy Meal like someone who hasn’t bought hundreds of them (and literally thrown out a trash bag full of forgettable toys).

    Bon apetit.
    Stephanie Barr´s last blog post ..Always Gotta Be Different

  5. 5 Pricilla

    The publicist is sad to admit that she would buy happy meals all the time. She is a sucker for packaging. She is a publicist’s dream.
    She also would like the little toys.

    She would get the chicken mcnuggets and try to determine what meat they actually were. She never did find out. Maybe you could find out for her.
    Pricilla´s last blog post ..Somegoat Needs to Learn Some Manners

  6. 6 Ron

    Bwhahahahahahahahahaha!

    JD, you freakin’ KILL me! I laughed my ass off through this entire post!

    “If I place my order via the drive-thru window . . . how would they ever know? ”

    You GO, girl because I never even thought of that before, but you’re right. And just as you said, you could always say your child was at home.

    Hell yeah, I would lie for a Happy Meal! And I would ask for the apple juice.

    Love the ‘My Little Pony’ you got as your gift!
    Ron´s last blog post ..Icky Sicky

  7. 7 absepa

    Sorry you got all worked up for nothing, JD. As long as McD’s (and a bunch of other restaurants) get the cash, I don’t think they care who eats the Happy Meal. I get one every so often when the husband wants a Big Mac, because I like the small portion sizes. (The kids’ meals at Steak & Shake are just about the right size for me, too. And they come with a shake.) But, you got tasty fries AND a pink pony–what more could a girl ask for?
    absepa´s last blog post ..How do I hate thee- AT&ampT Oh- Im going to count the ways

  8. 8 Lauren

    I gather you weren’t arrested by Ronald McDonald or the Hamburglar. I’m glad you were able to pull it off … and without a migraine?

    I don’t have fond memories of dining on Happy Meals at Mickey Dee’s from the days my son was just a pint size and a member of the McDonald’s playdate circuit.

    If I made it through lunch without ketchup splatter on my blouse, I would surely be covered with a Happy Meal chocolate shake vomit combo, as soon as my son shook up his food climbing the nets and tubes in McDonald playground.

    I can still hear the distant echo of a mother’s scream, “_____, you come over here right now or else…”
    Lauren´s last blog post ..A Note to Satan from a Dissatisfied Customer of God

  9. 9 Grace

    I’ve always wanted to do that too! So glad you did and spared me the embarrassment of possibly being seen in a MacDonalds. I think it’s been something like 20 years since I set foot in one, and then only because my husband’s kids wanted to eat there. I probably had coffee. Being a wicked stepmother I banned fast food when they were with me.

    And you are so right, I’m betting the “boy” toy is way cooler than that silly pink horsey thingy
    Grace´s last blog post ..Waiting Room

  10. 10 Kathleen Kaufman

    We lie and say Mr. Adorablepants is a girl because the boy toys are absolutely not better, at least not recently. The current boy toys are these transformer things that curl into a ball. So, it’s a monster that transforms into a ball, a monster ball. What self-respecting monster would even want to do that? Mr. Adorablepants took one look at his monster ball and chucked it against the wall, where it promptly shattered, probably spraying lead paint and asbestos throughout the house.

    So, now we lie and he has a collection of little ponies, which The Husband insists on calling ‘horses’ not ‘ponies’

    And no, we don’t only feed him happy meals, we alternate with pizza….

    I’m an excellent parent, really.
    Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog post ..Bribing The Grade- Or- Why I Deserve An iPad

  11. 11 Anne

    McDonald’s will sell a Happy Meal to anyone who wants one, regardless of age. Let’s hear it for no age discrimination! I do have a soft spot for McDonald’s. I don’t take my kids very often but I sometimes sneak off when by myself.
    Anne´s last blog post ..Gluten-Free- Dairy-Free Mashed Potatoes

  12. 12 Babs

    Mo and I always get happy meals with no problems. They know they’re for us because Mo asks me what I prefer to drink. I don’t know why she asks because I always have fresh orange juice. We then often park in their eating bays to eat them. We don’t p;ay with the toys though. Well not for too long.
    Babs´s last blog post ..Why should we have our wills written

  13. 13 puglette

    oh dear, i can see by the comments that your bubble may have been burst. anyone can buy a happy meal these days. and if they have a really good toy, you can buy just the toy! of course, if you just want the smaller meal, they have an adult version, the all american meal.

    yes, i do know my mcdonald’s. i am not ashamed to say i love the fries and i don’t care what meat in in my mcnuggets!

    i do remember when the happy meals were new, they did frown on just adults purchasing them. but in our politically correct, no discrimination world of today it’s just a free for all!!
    hugs,
    puglette
    :o)

  14. 14 dcr

    Years ago, my mom would buy Happy Meals. For herself.

    The tough part was being a teen and being too cool for a Happy Meal, but still wanting them.

    So, when you were with your parents, you never, ever ordered a Happy Meal, unless you were safely hidden in the back of the van and heading out of town so no one would see you.

    Other than that, you just ordered some combo, killing the little kid inside that wanted the Happy Meal.

    But, if you were fortunate enough to be at home and your parents were on their way home from somewhere and were going to bring you back something to eat, of course you wanted a Happy Meal.

    And, now, why shouldn’t adults be able to get a Happy Meal? We’re smart enough to know now that you keep the toys, unopened, so you can sell them two decades from now on eBay and make enough money to buy a beach house.

    Unless, of course, the packaging is damaged. Then you have to take the toy out and “test” it before placing it on prominent location on your desk, safely out of reach of kids.
    dcr´s last blog post ..How Often Do You Chicken Out on Blogging

  15. 15 tom

    haha nice story, people are taking this too seriously, of course anyone can buy a happy meal, that’s not the point
    tom´s last blog post ..Óculos Oakley

  16. 16 Tarrant

    Uh, JD, Denise and I nearly always get the happy meal. Really. No proof of kids ever asked. Boy toy is my default answer because the toys are generally cooler.

  17. 17 Thomas

    Hmmm. Is this “bucket list” published anywhere?

    If you want to join me on a 101 Things challenge, that’d be a different matter entirely. Let’s discuss!
    Thomas´s last blog post ..chickpea fritters- monkeys and raising poultry

  18. 18 Dorn

    My daughter doesn’t have any toy cars to play with this new car wash thing my buddy bought her for Christmas. A couple days ago I went through the drive through and saw the My Little Pony or Big Truck toy options. I confidently ordered a chicken nugget meal for a boy. Problem solved right? Plus I’d get my fill of fried sodium goodness. Wrong. I immediately felt guilty and ordered a cheeseburger and large diet Coke too so they wouldn’t suspect any thing!

    How sad, I doubt the minimum wage paid, broken English window personnel even give a rats about what we order. We’ve created the rules of ethics regarding Happy Meals for ourselves. I’m glad I’m not the only one though!

    I spent about 10 minutes applying the stickers to her new toy truck. It was a hit and totally worth the guilt and extra calories for the atonement.
    Dorn´s last blog post ..Love – The Game

  19. 19 Katherine

    Yup, anyone can buy a Happy Meal. Of course if you felt the need, you could say you are buying it for a child who has been terribly ill and just woke up asking for a Happy Meal. :)

    For me, hamburger with extra onions, fries and a chocolate shake to dip the fries in. YUM!

  20. 20 Kathy

    You’re adorable and hilarious! Like Ron, I laughed the whole way through this. Boy, it’s good you’re back. Really, really good you’re back.

    I once got the Burger King equivalent of a Happy Meal. Accidentally. I only wanted a kid’s cheeseburger, but then decided also to add a fry and small drink. I didn’t know they rang it up as a kids’ meal. When I got my bag back to the hotel I was staying at, I was pleased to find a plastic dinosaur inside whose limbs moved all which ways. I still have it.

    Accidental kid’s meal. Fun!
    Kathy´s last blog post ..Where There’s a Hair- There’s a Way

  21. 21 Daisy the Curly Cat

    Oh my Cod, you got a My Little Pony? In PINK?!? You are so lucky! No wonder they call it a “happy” meal.
    Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog post ..A Manly Robe

  22. 22 Rachele

    My kids LOVE Happy Meals but have to see what the toys are before they decide if they are boys or girls. Very brave of you to scam the system. We have that same pony!
    Rachele´s last blog post ..Windows Missing File Assistance

  23. 23 Devon

    I think the MLP toy you got this time was pretty cool! I agree, though, my son always gets the cooler toy in the McD Happy Meal than my daughters do. I love your blog! I’m glad I caught you when you’re coming back!
    Devon´s last blog post ..Bacon celebrates Ice cream for breakfast day

  24. 24 JD

    Flit: I don’t know what the boy toy was. I was so flustered. I couldn’t even find “Happy Meal” on the menu. I think I’m hooked. The idea of a free toy — who could resist?

    Bernie: I missed you too! It’s good to be back. Now. About that pretty pink pony: I could give it away as a blog contest prize. What do you think?

    Jeremy from We Took The Bait: What a heart-warming story! I’ve really been missing out. McDonald’s was my go-to eatery during college, but I never even thought about Happy Meals back then. Perhaps they hadn’t been invented. I’m in awe of your Grimace obsession.

    Stephanie Barr: I think Happy Meals should be a special occasion. Maybe once a month. And you take the toy you’re given and BE HAPPY WITH IT. That’s the spirit of the Happy Meal. I’m sorry to hear those mothers actually ate all the Happy Meals. That’s a lot of sodium.

    Pricilla: Yes! The packaging! I was so thrilled to get my food (and toy!) in a colorful box with puzzles and games on it! As for the “chicken” mcnuggets: I’m on it. I always heard it was seagull. Or maybe that was KFC?

    Ron: Oh, you’re so sweet. I hope someday we can eat Happy Meals together. We could trade toys and toast our apple juice boxes.

    absepa: Wait, Steak n Shake ALSO has kids’ meals??? Where the hell have I been? This is going to start a whole . . . . wait, and they come with a SHAKE?? I always want to get a shake at S&S, but it’s too much. I’m stopping at S&S after yoga today, and I AM GETTING THE KID’S MEAL! Thank you so much!

    Lauren: Damn, I wish I’d thought to use getting busted by the Hamburglar . . . or using him in some other way. Oh, well. Next post. I’m sorry you have bad Happy Meal memories. Maybe it’s because you weren’t also eating a Happy Meal? Maybe if you were, your son’s shake/vomit combo wouldn’t have bothered you so much. Or not.

    Grace: Oh, I would never set foot in a McDonad’s. It’s drive-thru all the way, whether I’m getting my weekend coffee, chowing down on Big Macs, or scamming Happy Meals. But I am happy to go to McD’s so you don’t have to: ANY time. And next time, I’m gettin’ the boy toy.

    Kathleen Kaufman: You truly sound like an ideal mom, and I am not even kidding. And I’m so glad I know about those stupid Transformer monster balls. I love my pink pony. She makes me smile. Pizza and McDonald’s: what else are kids supposed to eat?

    Anne: Yes, I know. But really, they should crack down more. I mean, for my sake, I’m glad they didn’t, but I bet there are a LOT of people scamming Happy Meals. IS THAT FAIR?!

    Babs: What kind of toys do you get? I’d be curious to see if British McD’s hand out better toys.

    puglette: (Just between you and me: I knew anyone could buy a Happy Meal. I was just having a little fun. Some people are so literal!) BUT WAIT! You can really just buy the toy? Huh. And what is this All-American Meal you speak of? I’ve never heard of that. I don’t see the point of not getting a toy. I share your love of McDonald’s. As long as it tastes good (and doesn’t make me too sick), I will eat and enjoy it.

    dcr: Dang. I really should’ve read these comments before I opened my toy. My pretty pink pony is worthless now. And I’m shedding bitter tears for your sad teen years, bereft of Happy Meals. At least your parents were able to sneak you some. I was too old to enjoy Happy Meals as a kid; they weren’t introduced until 1979. Sad.

    tom: You may be a spammer, but your comment is truly valuable.

    Tarrant: (see comment above yours) YES! Everyone, I do know you don’t have to be a kid to buy a Happy Meal. This was just another weird JD fantasy in which I imagined, What if . . . Perhaps I’ve been away too long? Anyway, I’m definitely getting the boy toy next time and hoping it won’t be one of those crappy Transformer monster balls Kathleen (above) warned me about.

    Thomas: The bucket list is still partly in my head and partly on my cool “2DoBefore” iPod app. I love your blog! I would definitely be interested in some kind of collaboration. I will discuss!

    Dorn: HA! I knew I wasn’t the only one! You crack me up. So funny. At least you can say you did it for the love of your daughter. I just did it for the thrill of doing something illegal. You are my hero.

    Katherine: I love many things on McDonald’s menu. Yes, even the Filet-o-”Fish.” But I have never got onboard with the fry-dipped-in-shake movement. It’s gotta be ketchup for me, and lots of it.

    Kathy: Aw, thank you! I’m cracking up at the mental picture of your “pleased” expression at finding a toy dinosaur in your bag. Of course you still have it. I bet that was one of your happiest meals ever.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: YES IN PINK! I know. I was very happy. AND the stand actually breaks apart into a comb so you can comb her mane. All for 3 bucks and some change!

    Rachele: Dang, I thought maybe I was the only one who had the pretty pink pony. I guess I won’t be selling it on ebay after all. I was in such a nervous state, I couldn’t see where on the huge menu the toys were displayed. Next time.

    Devon: HI DEVON! I love your blog too! Thanks so much for stopping by.

  25. 25 Surfie

    I order Happy Meals all the time. I’m 33 and have no kids. But ours don’t come in those nifty boxes anymore, they just give you a stupid paper bag. I miss the boxes with the Golden Arches for the handles! Plus ours still give soda, but I think you can request milk or juice instead.

    I don’t have any qualms about ordering a Happy Meal, but I do always feel like if I try to order off the kids menu at restaurants that they’ll tell me I’m too old. Sometimes I try it anyway. What I really want to try is ordering from the seniors menu at pancake houses. They get smaller portions and smaller prices but still get “adult” food!
    Surfie´s last blog post ..Biker Babe in the Making

  26. 26 Margaret

    I am so envious of you. I can’t believe you got away with it! I have never tried to order a Happy Meal before. Not even for myself. I would be way too anxious. Which is stupid I suppose because of course they would assume you’re getting it for your kid but because I’m LYING AND I KNOW IT, I would just be a sweaty mess.

    Good for you for stickin’ it to the clown. You’re my hero.

  27. 27 meleah rebeccah

    Oh man, I LOVE Happy Meals. And you’re right BTW – boy meals always have way better toys!
    meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..A High School Midterm Exam

  28. 28 Ollie Wogg

    I’m glad you’re doing things for us again. This edition has to be one of my favorites. Not because anyone could believe that you’d actually thought a McDonald’s cashier would give a flying anything about your menu choice.
    No, no!
    Not much gives me more glee than pointing out a typo to someone. Especially someone that really shoule (haha) know better. Feel free to have Puglette smack me upside the head. I deserve it. I just can’t stop myself sometimes. Love, Ollie

  29. 29 lin

    You CHICKEN! You’ve got to order it like you OWN it! Say it loud and proud woman….”I’ll have a Happy Meal for MYSELF because I deserve the toy, dammit!”

    I do admit of being jealous of your My Pretty Pony. She’s sweet!
    lin´s last blog post ..SuperBowl- SchnooperBowl

  30. 30 Kathleen Kaufman

    I should add that we got a happy meal recently where The Husband couldn’t bring himself to lie for another pony – and the boy toy was actually kind of fun. It was an Avatar guy that blinks when you smack him on the table. Mr. Adorablepants has him riding the ponies around the room…..

    I need to stop buying so much fast food…..
    Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog post ..Trademarking My Name Or- Why Sarah Palin Is Onto Something Big

  31. 31 JD

    Surfie: A stupid paper bag??? Then what’s the point? I actually have a pretty huge appetite, so I’m not in it for the portions. I like the fun packaging and toys. I’m guessing the senior meals don’t include toys?

    Margaret: EXACTLY! I knew you’d understand. I hope now that I’ve shown how easy (yet terrifying) it is, you’ll all be inspired to stick it to the clown (hee!)

    meleah rebeccah: I am only ever eating Happy Meals from now on — now that I know I can get away with it. And BOY TOYS FOREVER!

    Ollie Wogg: HI OLLIE! Why . . . I don’t know what you’re talking about! I searched for typos and couldn’t find a single one. Huh. Maybe you need to have those adorable puggy eyes checked? (Seriously, Ollie: would you like to be my full-time proofreader? I apparently could use one!)

    lin: OK, OK! Next time I’ll own the damn thing. This time I was just too skeered.

    Kathleen Kaufman: You are my kind of mom.

  32. 32 meleah rebeccah

    Good Call JD!
    meleah rebeccah´s last blog post ..A High School Midterm Exam

  33. 33 dcr

    Sounds like McDonald’s needs to end the discrimination and just give everyone the boys’, er, good toys. ;)
    dcr´s last blog post ..The Super Bowl of Salads

  34. 34 Shaky Jake

    Worth it! I think next time you should take it to the next level and try to order off the Denny’s kid’s menu. It doesn’t come with a toy–unless you count a clogged artery as a toy–and it would have to be a face-to-face interaction…

    But think of the pride you would feel leaving Denny’s having successfully spent only $3 on apple dunkers!
    Shaky Jake´s last blog post ..Commando Cats

  35. 35 v

    i too was laughing while reading this post. i guess that is the point though. humor blog. i get it.

    jd, if you are spending your hard earned money (if you paid with stolen cash insert easy money here) at mcdonald’s then you can have ronald mcdonald himself on a platter….there’s no need to have a kid to get a happy meal. tell them you’re happy and hungry, now pass off!

    now those stupid restaurants won’t budge. you need a kid to get that small meal at a discounted price. just borrow a kid from the next table over, place your order then send the little bugger back. or you can tell them you’re a child at heart and to give you your chicken fingers!

    glad you got your meal and yes the boy’s toy is always better. the girl gets a house, husband, two kids, a broom, a dog and a dirty picket fence to play with. the boy gets a truck with movable parts, a vacation, a flat screen tv and a super-sized beer mug. so not fair, so i usually ask for the boy toy – no pun intended – and go on about my business. not their business. you paid? nuff said.

  36. 36 Sue

    That’s awesome. I wanna do it too. I’m doing it this weekend, but I’m not as brave as you, I’m taking someone with me.
    Sue´s last blog post ..This might be a disaster

  37. 37 dcr
  38. 38 JD

    meleah rebeccah: Thank you!

    dcr: YEAH! BOY TOYS FOR ALL!

    Shaky Jake: As a matter of fact, I DO count a clogged artery as a toy, so I am THERE! I hope I can substitute fries for apple dunkers.

    v: Hee! You give such good advice. And you seem to know so much about this ordering off the kid’s menu scam. Hmmm. And dang. I want that super-sized beer mug.

    Sue: That’s OK! As long as we all give it a try. Let us know how it goes!

    dcr: Uh oh. I’m on my way . . .

  39. 39 Sleepless

    Well if I didn’t order happy meals already, I’d definitly dare to try it now, hehehe.
    So they really ask you if you want a meal for a boy or a girl? I think I like the swedish way better then. They just let the kids pick the toy they want over here. Not that kids aren’t concious of that they probably wouldn’t be accepted if they played with cirtain toys, but it’s the principal of it all.

  40. 40 Sleepless

    Seems I don’t know the link to my own blog, which possibly means I have alzheimers… ah well, lets hope I got it right this time.:D
    Sleepless´s last blog post ..A chance of a new beginning

  41. 41 Lola

    Why haven’t I thought of it before? To order the Happy Meal to get a smaller portion. You are brilliant JD! Brilliant! I’m trying to watch what I eat, cuz I’m still trying to lose weight and I have a hard time figuring out what to get at McD’s and BK. At BK I get the Whopper Jr. You know, cuz it has like salad on top of it. (Lettuce, tomato…that’s salad stuff!) At McD’s I’ve been ordering the Angus Wrap, but I’m not convinced the thick flour laden tortilla is less carbs and calories than a bun. Yes, there is certainly less meat in it than the Angus Burger, but that tortilla, I bet it’s got more carbs than a bun and it’s so dry you need like a gallon of ice tea to get it down.

    Next time I go to McD’s I will proudly order a Happy Meal and say JD sent me!
    Lola´s last blog post ..Random Tuesday Thoughts

  42. 42 Jen

    McDonald’s sees my car and they have the meal ready before I even hit the drive thru. Cheeseburger Happy Meal with no pickles, fries, chocolate milk, girl. Sometimes we try to shake things up (and screw with the server by ordering nuggets. The boy toy was awesome this week-Hot Wheels truck. The girl toys usually suck unless they are Barbie. It just occurred to me that I have been buying Happy Meal toys for 17 years. That’s really sad. I wonder when they are going to have the Old Geezer Meal with a pair of readers in them and possibly a disposable hearing aid?
    Jen´s last blog post ..Donate Your Car To Help Kids

  43. 43 JD

    Sleepless: But what if there is no kid on site to pick the toy? That would probably be the point at which I would cut and run. I agree tho: it is better for the kid to pick, regardless of potential bullying.

    Sleepless: You got it!

    Lola: I’ve heard that wraps can sometimes be more fattening than bread sandwiches. Unless it’s crammed full of salad stuff, that is! Although if the dry tortilla gets you to drink more, that’s a good thing too. YES! Tell them JD sent you (just don’t tell them where I live).

    Jen: Do they change the toy every week? Man, I’m behind. Also, you can request no pickles? I thought that was only allowed at Burger King. Since I received my AARP card yesterday, I suppose I would qualify for an old geezer meal. I hope it comes with immodium.

  44. 44 dcr

    McDonald’s lets you request whatever you want to too. It’s just that Burger King made a thing out of it. ;)

    When I was a kid, I liked McDonald’s hamburgers with extra onions.

    Now, I prefer the cheeseburgers. I never think to ask for extra pickles though. Hmm…

    You know, the hamburgers with extra onions were probably healthier than the cheeseburgers though. I think onions help lower cholesterol while cheese, well, doesn’t.
    dcr´s last blog post ..Masterpieces vs Cheap Knock-Offs

  45. 45 Perry MacNeil

    As the damn things will outlast a nuclear blast, no, I don’t think they will decompose. As a kid who grew up when McD’s came into the fast food forefront, yep, I will eat a Happy Meal. Actually, if you are an adult, and craving the horribly bad for you burger, their Happy Meal is a much happier number of calories than anything on the adult menu. I even used to know the Weight Watchers points, once upon a time.

    As to the toy, the boy toy is always a much better item. My daughter used to have me order the boy toy for her, too, once she saw that brother was getting all the cool stuff, like Legos, while she got stuck with a My Pretty Pony that does nothing.

    You go, Girl – order that happy meal with your head held high. And if they give you any crap, tell ‘em it’s for your sick kid at home… ;) Fun post – happy I wandered by!
    Perry MacNeil´s last blog post ..Egypt- Freedom- and Happy Tears- One Americans Reflection on Egypts Peaceful Revolution

  46. 46 Amy

    I had to buy a happy meal 7 years ago because I was crazy for the toy — don’t even know what it was now but I’m sure I still have it somewhere — that was my first and last time…not much of a fast food person…

    Keep taken’ it for the team ;)

  47. 47 sheila

    I feel like I’m studying for an exam every time I go to the drive through at McDonalds and always prepare a cheat sheet.

    1 Mighty kids meal
    Chicken Nuggets
    fries
    dr pepper
    honey mustard sauce
    for a girl –

    that’s just the happy meal for one kid, then I have to go through the food for the two teens and husband –

    I dread going to McDonalds – it’s way too much work.

  48. 48 JD

    dcr: Extra onions, eh? I’m going to ask for that! I love those rehydrated onion pellets. Seriously, I do. They’re the best part. After the cheese.

    Perry MacNeil: Welcome! I’m glad you wandered by, too. I was at the McD’s drive-thru the other day for coffee and noticed the boy toy is a TONKA TRUCK! Geez. And I settled for a damn pony. Oh, well. Next time. I’m embarrassed to admit that I used to be able to ingest two Big Macs and a large order of fries at one sitting, but these days, the Happy Meal really is more my speed. I’ll have to check out the WW points. I used to know the points for EVERYthing!

    Amy: I will! “Not much of a fast food person,” eh? I wish that description fit me. I loves mah fast food. The faster the better. I love it when I pull up to the pickup window without even having to slow down, grab my bag of grease and sail away. Nothing like it.

    sheila: Oh, man, that sounds hard. And what is this “Mighty Kids Meal” thingie? Is that what they call them where you’re from (Where ARE you from?) Also, I didn’t get the choice of soft drink, tho I was more than happy with my box of apple juice.

  49. 49 David

    Ooooh, now I know how to get cheap cat toys! The price of a Happy Meal is totally less than I usually pay at the pet store.
    David´s last blog post ..Practical Magic

  50. 50 Stacie

    Today my husband brought home our 2 1/2 yr old’s first Happy Meal ever. As I was getting the toy out for her, she said, “They asked if the meal was for a girl or a boy.”

    I immediately thought of you and this blog post, haha.
    Stacie´s last blog post ..Cremation Jewelry

  51. 51 Stacie

    That was supposed to say, “he asked me”.
    Stacie´s last blog post ..Cremation Jewelry

  52. 52 Jimmy

    I love happy meals! but i always feel bad for wasting the toy.
    I’d be more inclined to buy one if i didn’t think i was contributing to more plastic waste!
    Jimmy´s last blog post ..How to make an autotune video

  53. 53 Florida Girl in Sydney

    Hi Blog Slacker, Hope you’re out there and scamming all the Happy Meals you can. Love, Fellow Blog Slacker

  54. 54 JD

    David: Yup! My cats simply love their new Pretty Pink Pony or whatever it’s called. And I got my week’s allowance of sodium. Everyone’s happy!

    Stacie: Aw! Hee! I hope your daughter enjoyed her very first Happy Meal. Burger or McNuggets? And the toy?

    Jimmy: A toy is never wasted. Except for the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys. Now THAT is a waste of plastic.

    Florida Girl in Sydney: Hey, YOU! I have been slacking. And scamming. Thanks for checking in!

  55. 55 AJ

    I’ve always bought Happy Meals as an adult because it’s a much “healthier” (ok, less bad?) serving size of this food for anyone compared to the adult portions of food.

    And I’ve traveled cross country all over the US and ordered without any issues. I’d be surprised if an actual written restriction exists although I know other restaurants do.

    Plus my little cousin loves the toy- and sometimes I do to when it’s awesome! The day I get refused a Happy Meal at Mc’D's is the day I stop going. Being an adult is hard enough anyway! Lol.

  56. 56 JD

    AJ: How true! No, I doubt there are any written restrictions, but there’s always the fear of discovery. It’s well worth the risk for a cool toy, tho.

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