I Hit “Reply”

I walk and walk, do nothing

to-do-list-nothing

OK, so . . .

Do you ever get fabulous offers from marketing wizards who are simply dying to promote your site for absolutely nothing in return? YES? Good. Send ‘em over to me, would ya?

Because I seem to attract a lot of dumbasses.

Why, just this week, I received this tempting query:

Would you be interested in exchanging 2 free weeks of advertising for a blog review of our website? [My site] has a humorous feature where you rank pictures of girls based on which you think is hottest.

We’ll put a  link to your site in our column for 2 weeks if you are willing to write a short blog about our site. If you would like, we’re willing to write the blog for you to save you the time.

Not so bad, you say? Well, behold the subject line:

Cross-Marketing for Your I Do Nothing Blog

Nicely done, asshat. Because, yeah. I do nothing. Good research skillz. That’s the name of my blog. Right? I DO NOTHING! It’s a blog about nothing! What a great idea! NOTHING!

I was steamed, my friends, and I’m sure you can understand why. I do EVERYTHING! What don’t I do? And if I haven’t done it yet . . . I WILL!

I was so mad I decided to forward the e-mail to my friend, Junk Drawer Kathy, who gets her share of idiotic “offers.” I wrote her the following imaginary reply:

WHAT. THE. F@#^$&@*$@#$%????????????????????

You don’t even get my freaking blog title right?

Ranking hot girls?

Write my blog for me for your crappy site?

WTF?????????????????

Swear-y!

Except then I hit “reply.”

So, instead of a typically hilarious and indignant response from Kathy, I got this from the would-be cross-marketer:

Go on . . .

Oh. Oops. Well, he deserved it. Kind of. No. I felt bad. I would never use that many swear symbols on even the most heinous of spammers. So I apologized, and he was cool.

But secretly, I admire myself for accidentally telling him off.

*        *        *

In related news, I just got a spam comment on a post I don’t even remember writing. Which is weird, since the post includes a photo of me in my underwear. You’d think I’d remember that.

I guess spammers are useful after all.

__________________

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57 Comments


57 Responses to “I Hit “Reply””

  1. 1 dcr

    I’m confused now. Do you mean that you won’t do nothing so I don’t have to? I was hoping you would. Sometimes it gets a little dull doing nothing, so if you would do nothing for me, that would be a great help.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..No New Pictures = More Traffic? =-.

  2. 2 Tracy

    Heh, I was thinking yesterday that a lot of folks seem to think blogs are like Pampered Chef parties.

    I would go on with this analogy but my head really freaking hurts.

    Now I want to know what their website is so I can review it, using nofollow, of course!
    .-= Tracy´s last blog ..Ghostwriting, Content Marketing and Dollars and Sense =-.

  3. 3 puglette

    good for you on sending the reply! i think about replying to some of the junk email i receive but then i think…man, would they think i’m interested in their crap?

    hubby sends a response if he sees sentences that make no sense or if there are a bunch of misspelled words. i think that’s kind of silly, but it makes him happy.

    ollie photos on the blog!
    have a good weekend, my friend!
    hugs,
    puglette
    :o)
    .-= puglette´s last blog ..And Dodger Is His Name-O! =-.

  4. 4 puglette

    oh…and hubby also reads all of my blog replies…so, hi honey!!

    ;)
    .-= puglette´s last blog ..And Dodger Is His Name-O! =-.

  5. 5 Kathy

    Ha! I remember thinking “My oh my, what giant cojones she has!” I thought you’d finally done what every blogger who gets unsolicited requests to basically market someone else’s site wants to do. Well, you did. But not on purpose. But still. You are awesome. THANK YOU for clicking reply so we don’t have to!
    .-= Kathy´s last blog ..Well, I Declare! =-.

  6. 6 Buggys

    Well, once again I thank you for doing this unintentional, good deed. You’re awesome JD. This is the only kind of offer I get. The crap! Normally I just hit “delete”. It works for me.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Midnight Mystery =-.

  7. 7 Anne

    That reminds me of the email I received addressed, Dear Annette. Because Annette is so much easier to type than Anne. I think I Do Nothing is more appropriate for my blog than yours. I truly do do nothing. And I enjoy it. Not that I am willing to write about some guy who rates girls on his Web site. You should have blasted him for his content rather than just for his lame pitch.

  8. 8 Ron

    OMG, woman…can I just tell you how much I LOVE YOU?????

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    This post was HILARIOUS! And I freakin’ loved your reply!

    I admire you for telling him off.

    ” F@#^$&@*$@#$%????????????????????”

    I get similar emails, even though I’ve specifically said on my blogs several times, I DO NOT DO LINK EXCHANGES or SPONSORED REVIEWS.

    I’m thinking….perhaps they can’t READ???

    Great post!
    .-= Ron´s last blog ..Memories of The World Trade Center =-.

  9. 9 Amy

    I am so curious about what they would write for you… Scary.
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Double (D) Standard =-.

  10. 10 LJ

    Oh come on!!! Why wouldn’t you just jump on that web-wagon and help a fellow blogger out??!! (hopefully you read the sarcasm in my words).
    What I want to know is how many people actually fall for that crap? And in saying that I recognize there there are bloggers out there who DID just fall off the turnip truck – but seriously!?!?!?
    .-= LJ´s last blog ..Eat My Words =-.

  11. 11 Surfie

    Ranking pictures of hot girls is humorous? Really? I’m glad you hit reply! But was it really accidentally? Or ACCIDENTALLY ON PURPOSE! Hmmm…
    .-= Surfie´s last blog ..I Feel So Accomplished! =-.

  12. 12 ann

    I like it. Your subconscious told them off so you didn’t have to. Now you can stop writing blog posts and go back to doing nothing?….lol
    .-= ann´s last blog ..Around the house =-.

  13. 13 absepa

    I have really come to loathe those comment-spammers. There will be a message in my email inbox, telling me that I have a comment…the commenter’s name will be one I am unfamiliar with, leading me to believe I have earned a new reader…but no, it’s just a frickin’ spambot. Thanks for telling them off, even if you didn’t really mean to.

    (Want to know how much of a nerd I am? I believe I can identify the hands in the photo at the top of this post as those of Patrick Star, from SpongeBob Squarepants. I know this, even though there are no children in my household. I just like SpongeBob. Nerd alert!)
    .-= absepa´s last blog ..It’s time for Doodle-palooza 2010! =-.

  14. 14 Dumbass

    When are you going to eat a chicken foot ?!

  15. 15 Jaffer

    Haha – After replying to your FollowFriday tweet this morning I was remembering your post about “Idiot Things”.
    I don’t know why !

    I could not not click a link to a post about “JD in her underwear” – but then I was like “Oh that post … I remember now”…

    (Sowwy !)
    .-= Jaffer´s last blog ..ManiaRavings.com is re-launching ! =-.

  16. 16 Stephanie Barr

    Ha! Wait until you’ve done that in a professional setting where someone sent you an infuriating email (or one so dumb as to hurt your brain) and you send it off to your fellow smart colleague to chuckle/commiserate over but accidentally hit reply (or, God help us, reply all) instead.

    I sure wish you’d done THAT so I didn’t have to. ‘Cept, of course, it’s too late.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..I Did Get the Query Off =-.

  17. 17 kathryn

    Well, there’s nothing worse than when you’re talking about someone behind their back and you accidentally send them the email. I do believe this is one of the worst fears known to modern internet-man.
    Did you yell “NooooooooOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” in…like, slow-mo for emphasis and effect?

    ‘Cause I could totally see you doing this.
    .-= kathryn´s last blog ..Where IS Everybody?? =-.

  18. 18 Jaffer

    @Stephanie Barr – Pfft ! My e-mail was once compromised and the spammer e-mailed everyone on my addressbook – including bosses and professors that I was gay and I’d s**ck their d**cks.

    The bad part – They were all cool about it.
    .-= Jaffer´s last blog ..ManiaRavings.com is re-launching ! =-.

  19. 19 Lauren

    Is cross-marketing the same as angry marketing or cross-dressing with an attitude? He so deserved the response he got. All spammers suck. I’m so sick of them and their ilk. They are like newspaper inserts that end up in your mailbox, although you can’t get infected by newspaper inserts unless they are concealing a white substance that isn’t baby powder and sends people wearing hazmat suits to your door. Btw, is it proper etiquette to offer hazmat visitors a drink or something to eat while they’re neutralizing your home?
    .-= Lauren´s last blog ..Blogging: Connecting to Readers via a T1 Line to the Heart. =-.

  20. 20 Kathy

    @ absepa — OMG

    @ Jaffer — OMG
    .-= Kathy´s last blog ..Well, I Declare! =-.

  21. 21 Jen

    Thank you for hitting reply so I don’t have to. Now would you continue to worry that you might still do it, so I don’t have to? I always worry about this happening.

    I get spam on old posts to which is actually good because some of the old stuff could be reused when I don’t feel like writing anything.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Tribal Blogs is Too Much Fun! =-.

  22. 22 feefifoto

    All hail to you for doing what everyone else wants to do but doesn’t have the guts for.
    .-= feefifoto´s last blog ..Dear State Senator =-.

  23. 23 babs - beetle

    Ha ha! That told ‘em! Brilliant!

    “And if I haven’t done it yet . . . I WILL!”
    This reminds me…………………. ;)
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Mo I’ve got a splinter! =-.

  24. 24 Daisy the Curly Cat

    You crack me up! But, I was thinking… it seems to me that you already did a review of their website, just now. So, they need to fork over the 2 free weeks of advertising. Right next to all the hot girls.

    ps: Maybe it has to be a positive review to get the free advertising.
    .-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..Fashion Friday: Glamorous Hair! =-.

  25. 25 Lin

    So you curse at spammers so I don’t have to?? Thanks, JD, but that is one thing I’d enjoy doing for myself.

    Good for you. He deserved it.
    .-= Lin´s last blog ..Damn you, Harry Potter! =-.

  26. 26 Florida Girl In Sydney

    What Daisy said…

    This is the most publicity they’ll ever get! It’s weird, because you wonder if they really think anyone reading our blogs wants anything to do with this crap???
    .-= Florida Girl In Sydney´s last blog ..Steer Penis, Why Not? =-.

  27. 27 JD

    dcr: Well, I COULD do nothing, but I hate having to change my blog header and business cards. Still, it pays to be versatile.

    Tracy: If you really want the sites (yes, they gave me several to choose from, each more craptastic than the last), e-mail me. I love the Pampered Chef party analogy. I’ll work on it so you don’t have to.

    puglette: Hi, Mr. Puglette! I hope you don’t find any misspellings here. It makes me happy to correct people, too, tho I try to do it anonymously, for example, redlining the notices in my mom’s condo elevator. OLLIE! I’m on my way!

    Kathy: I guess my cojones are not all THAT big, but at least I didn’t tell him I’d intended to hit “forward” and not “reply.” I just apologized for overreacting. (But really? I wasn’t at ALL sorry!)

    Buggys: You’re very welcome. Next time I’ll just hit “delete” and save everyone . . . wait, no, I won’t! I got a decent post out of this! Come on, spammers! Send me your offers! (rubs hands in an evil fashion)

    Annette: Yeah, the part about rating hot girls made me feel not so bad about all the swear symbols. I have to say, it was one of the more well-written emails I’ve received.

    Ron: I LOVE YOU TOO! (but you knew that). I do believe they cannot read or else . . . why??? “I do nothing”? Again: WTF? Maybe they assume their site is soooo special and great that even someone who specifically says “NO REVIEW” would be unable to resist.

    Amy: Oh, man. I should’ve taken them up on that offer, just to see what they’d come up with. And then posted it. AS A BIG JOKE! Hmmm. I hope they re-offer.

    LJ: Yes, your sarcasm came through loud and clear! Sadly, I think many beginning bloggers probably are desperate for the exposure and so get taken advantage of or just kind of compromise their blog by taking part in something like that. Had I gotten such an offer in my early days . . . who knows? I might not have sworn so much.

    Surfie: Ahhhh . . . you’re a sharp one, aren’t you?! Yes, I think it was accidentally on purpose. Although I do kind of regret it now. Ranking hot girls is MY kind of humor!

    ann: Yes. What a relief. Next time I need a colonoscopy or some teeth pulled, I’ll just say, No thanks! I do nothing!

    absepa: NERD ALERT! HA! That’s funny. I have a link to the image source, tho I didn’t really pay attention to the context. It’s obviously some sort of cartoon. You sound like you know what you’re talking about, so I’ll defer to your nerdly knowledge. After all, you ARE the Nerd in the Corner!

    Dumbass: I have NOT forgotten. I will do it . . . before the end of May. I swear.

    Jaffer: THANK YOU! This made me think of “Idiot Things” too. Well, I’m glad you remembered that post, because I sure didn’t. I looked at the post title in the spam comment and thought, Someone just made up a post title, because I NEVER wrote that. But I did. Weird.

    Stephanie Barr: I have a funny story about one of those professional e-mails. It wasn’t technically my fault, but I was still involved and came out looking pretty bad. I’m sorry you really did do it so I don’t have to . . . but I’m also rather relieved.

    Kathryn: I totally did! And Pru and Gus got all freaked out and ran away – also in slow motion. It was surreal. But even before the slo-mo completely wore off, I was laughing. For that is my way.

    Jaffer: HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, my gawd. “They were all cool about it.” Why, of course, they said to themselves, We all knew Jaffer was gay. Oh, man. So did you have to go around to everyone and say, Yeah, about that d**ck s**cking? Not gonna happen.

    Lauren: Hmmm. I’m not sure about the hazmat etiquette. I think a post by Professor JD is coming up, and after that, maybe a Dear JD post to address situations like this. ANYway, yes. I like the newspaper insert analogy. They’re sort of well-intentioned but NOBODY WANTS THEM. And they’re clogging up the landfills.

    Kathy: Hee! I know!

    Jen: Yes, I’m sure I’ll keep worrying about it. Because as I said, I do NOT do nothing. So you’re good. I gotta remember that tip about old posts.

    feefifoto: YES! Even tho it was kind of an accident, it STILL took guts. And plenty of them.

    babs – beetle: I know! I haven’t forgotten, I SWEAR! Maybe you could give me some ideas for topics?

    Daisy the Curly Cat: Yeah, but what good is a review without the all-powerful link? But you’re right. I will be asking for that 2 weeks of free advertising. Or maybe I can just send them a hot picture of me for them to rate. Either way.

    Lin: I think there’s plenty of spammer-cursing to go around. Unfortunately.

    Florida Girl In Sydney: Exactly! If they really took five seconds to look at our blogs/comments, etc, they’d realize how stupid . . . or wait. No, they probably wouldn’t.

  28. 28 Pricilla

    Hmmm, maybe the spammer WROTE the blog post after he secretly took the photo of you in your underwear to PROVE you do nothing.

    erm, I think my brain hurts now I am going to lie down in the grass and well, do nothing.
    .-= Pricilla´s last blog ..Matthew and the Trailer =-.

  29. 29 Will

    I get these sorts of things all the time. I think the spammers pick up on the “Healthy” word in my subtitle and assume incorrectly my site is all about instant, effortless weight loss or instant, effortless, rock hard abs.

    I also get a fair amount of what I call “human spam comments”. These are not spam bots, but real, (well that is a relative term in this context), people. They make a lame, but relevant comment just to get a link to their spammy site. These folks also seem to never use a regular name, preferring monikers like “Lose Belly Fat”, or “The Ab Rack”, or “Make Money Now”. I delete them all, but I still wonder about the poor souls behind the efforts. I guess many blogs let the comment stay? I’m not that nice I guess. I don’t mind if a comment is linked to a site selling something as long that something is legit, the person uses some sort of believable name, and the comment is worth something.

    I have been tempted to reply to some of the spam emails in the way you did, but the last thing I want to do is let a spammer know they have a good email address, and that I actually read their spam!
    .-= Will´s last blog ..How to Easily Make Compost =-.

  30. 30 Tracy

    @JD I went to a Pampered Chef party this weekend.

    Why? Because I felt guilty that I didn’t order my kid’s birthday cake from the hostess of this party.

    Over half of the presentation was why we should have Pampered Chef parties at our house.

    Also, there was some pork loin served that tasted like ass and some dry chocolate cake that everyone was raving about so I felt a bit like I must be going crazy and wanted to strip and run up and down the halls shouting “THE CAKE HAS NO FLAVOR!!!!”
    .-= Tracy´s last blog ..What a Chicken in a Can Taught Me =-.

  31. 31 Spot

    I never get this kind of cool spam. I guess I’m not popular enough. I can live with that.

    Don’t you dare do nothing! That’s so my job.

    ♥Spot
    .-= Spot´s last blog ..The one where I look young and Sean *nearly* starts a zombie apocalypse =-.

  32. 32 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Thank you letting us live vicariously through your temporary embarrassment, even if the guy totally had it coming. What a calm response that was of him, now that I think about it. Too bad he doesn’t do his research, else he’d see this post and enjoy his 15 minutes.
    .-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Goat Thing of the Day: Baby Pictures =-.

  33. 33 Patricia (Trogdor the Burnanator!!)

    Oh no! In my world, hitting reply all or a private e-mail getting into the hands of another person by personal stupidity (for example, sending that saucy e-mail to your husband about what you’ll be doing tonight is accidently sent to Grandma) is called a ‘Pulling a Chung,’ after the infamous Peter Chung incident of 2001.

    http://www.snopes.com/risque/tattled/chung.asp

    I’m sure you can still find him and send him some ‘domes,’ although I don’t see him needing much use for them after an e-mail like that.

    As far as voting the hottest chicks on your site I’ll go…

    1. J.D.
    2. J.D.’s Mom
    3. Pru
    4. That one girl you hate from pole class

  34. 34 Patricia (Trogdor the Burnanator!!)

    Sweet bejeebers, you ought to check these out as well…you’ll feel much better.

    http://www.snopes.com/embarrass/email/email.asp

  35. 35 dcr

    Think of it as an opportunity. You could create your own blog empire.

    Your flagship site would, of course, be this one. But, then you could have a number of satellite sites, such as:

    I Do Nothing So You Don’t Have to
    I Know Things So You Don’t Have to
    I Sew Things So You Don’t Have to
    I Moon Things So You Don’t Have to
    I Grow Things So You Don’t Have to
    I Loan Things So You Don’t Have to
    I Owe Things So You Don’t Have to
    I Stow Things So You Don’t Have to
    I Throw Things So You Don’t Have to

    See, you’d have your own little empire of ten blogs. You might make ten times as much money! I say go for it! And, since I gave you the idea, I think you should send me a commission from the nine new sites. Them’s some good titles, and I spent two minutes like a long time developing them, so, you know, I earned something… ;)
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..The Pictureless Picture Post =-.

  36. 36 Kathleen Kaufman

    This reminds me of a time a few hundred years ago when The Husband and I were in a huge (and in retrospect, silly) email war with some friends of friends….silly) and when responding to an email – he titled it ‘F&*# You’ Except, he didn’t use the clever asterics. Then instead of saving it as a draft, or more wisely deleting it….he hit send.

    This prompted another six months of email battle, mostly over the title of the email. We were all like 24 at the time and had wayyy too much time on our hands – if this had happened now, with our current schedules, I’d have written:

    ‘Yeah, whatever, I’m wrong, or maybe right, or something, anyway, sorry.”

    Oh well. Lesson is: don’t email angry.
    .-= Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog ..3 Horror Stories Inspired By Earth Day =-.

  37. 37 Noelle

    I love that you did that.
    .-= Noelle´s last blog ..shhhhh…. =-.

  38. 38 Ann's Rants

    I love “sweary” (snicker)

    OH and I both quoted you (kinda) AND won you AT LEAST one new twitter follower today.

    Hope that makes me a high ranking hot girl!
    .-= Ann’s Rants´s last blog ..Signs you were a waitress… =-.

  39. 39 CatLadyLarew

    I’ve very busy doing nothing so you don’t have to… because I care.
    .-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Waiting… A Magpie Tale =-.

  40. 40 V

    hahahha, you hit reply. sorry, but i think it’s a good thing that you hit reply.

    i’m only going to tell you this and you alone, when i get messages that annoy me or are too good to be true or they tell me they want to deposit money into my bank account. i type these two words

    Bull Shet!

    and i hit reply.

    sometimes, the email comes back as undeliverable and that makes me mad. i want them to get it.

    oh well. email is kinda scary….if it goes to the wrong person.

  41. 41 frogmama

    I kind of like him for writing, “Go on…” Does he moonlight as a therapist?
    .-= frogmama´s last blog ..I don’t want to get gonorrhea from a California Roll =-.

  42. 42 injaynesworld

    Thank you for taking care of that little matter for all of us. Should you receive an offer to rate how guys, you can forward that one to moi. ;)
    .-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld brings you the "Sunday Recap…" =-.

  43. 43 injaynesworld

    You know I meant “hot”, right? Please correct all my typos so I don’t have to. Thank you.
    .-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld brings you the "Sunday Recap…" =-.

  44. 44 JD

    Pricilla: Wow, my brain hurts now, too. Should I just start swearing? That seems to be my default reaction these days.

    Will: You make some excellent points. Somehow, I don’t think that guy will be bothering me again, tho! I get those spam comments from “real” people too. How stupid are they to not just use a normal name? I still wouldn’t keep them, but I’d be more likely to maybe miss one or two. But when I’m replying to comments, I’m not going to type out a reply to “Firm Mattresses.” Duh.

    Tracy: Oh, my god. Laughing. out. loud. It’s like you were at a Stepford Wife party and you were the only human there. “Can’t you robots taste the truth?!!” Did they at least recognize that the pork loin tasted like ass? Should I feel guilty that I don’t even really know what Pampered Chef is? Something to do with diapers?

    Spot: These kind of spam e-mails sort of make me feel the opposite of popular. I think you’re better off without them. There’s plenty of nothing to go around!

    Margaret (Nanny Goats): I have to admit, I did rather like the dry, restrained “Go on . . . ” It reminds me of how I might’ve replied, way back before I became so swear-y.

    Patricia (Trogdor the Burnanator!): Man, I love me some Trogdor. Anyway, HA! I had never heard the sad tale of Peter Chung, and that Snopes link (LOVE Snopes) was awesome. Especially the “ham sandwich” exchange. I feel like I should hire you as my researcher, what with all these delightful tidbits about domes and bunions and such. Thank you for rating me over my mom. She’ll be so jealous.

    dcr: Y’know, I originall thought of creating some satellite bloglets: I Watch Movies, I Read Books, etc, but I Stow Things has really got me thinking. I could do a lot with that. You’ll definitely receive a commission on any of those ten ideas, if I choose to use them. Well, except for the I Sew Things. That’s one think I’ll let my mom keep doing for me.

    Kathleen Kaufman: That’s hilarious. I’ve sent some angry emails in my day and regretted them. AOL used to (and may still) have the option to unsend an e-mail as long as it had not yet been read. I think all e-mail services should offer that. Lives would be saved.

    Noelle: Thank you. I did it for all of us. Accidentally, but still.

    Ann’s Rants: Thank you! Was that Tracie from Stir Fry Awesome? I noticed several new Twitter followers yesterday and today. But you would’ve been a highly ranked hott girl no matter what (note the extra “t”!)

    CatLadyLarew: I’m moved to tears by your sacrifice. But as I said above, there is PLENTY of nothing to go around. Still, it is my chosen lot to do things so you don’t have to, so please carry on. I appreciate it.

    V: Yes, e-mail is the devil’s tool. Sometimes. But do you really say “Bull Shet” or do you use the other spelling? I like either response.

    frogmama: I know, me too! It’s so calm and restrained. If he is a therapist, you’d think he’d realize that rating hot girls is not exactly something women bloggers flock to.

    injaynesworld: Done and done! Altho . . . maybe we can split them up: You get the hot guys, and I get the how guys. That seems fair.

  45. 45 Linda

    A little late to the party here, but I want to add my 2¢ worth, and say thanks for all the things you do so I don’t have to. Not sure I could handle all that pressure. Keep up the good work! :)

  46. 46 dcr

    I need to get you to get you an empire of ten blogs, so if you’re not going to take I Sew Things, I need to come up with something else. Plus the residuals are better on ten than nine. Let’s see…

    How about?

    I Roll Things so you don’t have to

    You could roll dogs over, you could roll balls, you could roll furniture on those roller things when you want to move them somewhere else in the house, you could roll the furniture back when you decide it was better off where it started from rather than the four or five other places you had Dave roll it to before deciding that, you could roll wontons, you could roll out the red carpet for Tim Gunn, you could roll up socks and shirts for seasonal storage, you could roll out cookies, you could Rick roll your friends, you could roll your boat just to be different, you could roll with it, etc.

    The possibilities are endless.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..This Spammer Takes the Cake =-.

  47. 47 Steve, the crotchety trade show guru

    hey JD,

    I like your “to do list” picture! :)

    How do you forget having posted a picture of yourself in underwear?

    I get dumb marketing pitch emails all the time (we’ll rank your website at the top of google for three easy payments of $9.95 each”… yeah, right.
    I also get lots of emails from people in Nigeria that want to wire me a gazillion dollars and I can keep 10% of it… I just need to send them some money and my bank account number first… yeah, right!

    Maybe I need to go rate some hot girls and blow off some steam. :)

    ~ Steve, the crotchety trade show guru
    .-= Steve, the crotchety trade show guru´s last blog ..Cheap Trade Show Displays Aren’t Always Cheap =-.

  48. 48 v

    sometimes i type B.S. or bull shet and other times, depending on my mood, i do type it out.

    (hangs head low)

    don’t tell.

  49. 49 Sheila Sultani

    Well it could of been worse – you could have sent naughty x-rated emails to your husband and then sent it to company that you work with by mistake like someone else I know – BESIDES they DID deserve it. If they were interested in your site they would have gotten the name right. They are obviously out there just trying to build links.
    .-= Sheila Sultani´s last blog ..I Don’t Have To Go Very Far To Find Crazy =-.

  50. 50 meleah rebeccah

    I admire you for telling him off, even if it was accidental!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Twelve] =-.

  51. 51 JD

    Linda: There’s no such thing as being too late for THIS party! Welcome. And thank YOU! It’s so nice to be appreciated.

    dcr: OK, now you’re talking. I Roll Things. Yes, I like it. Especially the part with Tim Gunn. I could roll my own sushi so I don’t spend half my life savings at Sea Ranch. I could roll some big fat doobies, too. Yes. I like where this is going.

    Steve, the crotchety trade show guru: STEVE! So nice to see you. That’s a good cartoon-y picture, isn’t it? I wish I could take credit for it. I swear, I do not even know how I forgot. But I stared at the post (and the photo), totally dumbfounded. Too many Red Stripes, maybe? OK, if you’re gonna go rate some hot girls, please don’t feel obligated to start with that photo of me.

    v: I won’t say a word. Except this: I am proud to call you my friend.

    Sheila Sultani: THANK YOU! I don’t feel so bad about all the swear symbols now. As for x-rated e-mails, I once came VERY close to presenting a lovely slideshow of vacation photos to my mother-in-law, almost forgetting the XXX photos Dave and I had taken of ourselves. That would’ve been . . . awkward.

    meleah rebeccah: Thanks, my friend! Yeah, after the initial horror wore off, I did feel a little proud of myself.

  52. 52 Bingo

    Stupid people! That is very offensive. I would do the same thing but I think I’d put more bad words on it. Good for you!
    .-= Bingo´s last blog ..Earth Day Bingo =-.

  53. 53 meleah rebeccah

    And you SHOULD feel proud of yourself!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Family Fun Night – The Bowling Edition =-.

  54. 54 Maureen

    Ahahahahahahahaha!!!! Excellent! Oh how I wish I could have seen the guy’s face when he opened up your email… he was probably all “Yesss! Got one!” and then crestfallen with the actual text in the reply.

    Awesome JD.
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..It’s a Zoo Out There =-.

  55. 55 JD at I Do Things

    I have to admit, after my initial “OH NO!” there was quite a bit of evil laughter. Every spammer deserves a few good crestfallen moments.

  56. 56 Elise

    Nice one. If each and every one of us set the time aside to swear aggressively at just one spammer a day, the world might be a better place. You never know. It's the little things that count.

  57. 57 JD at I Do Things

    Yes, and the little things do add up. I suggest taking it to the next level and actually using swear words instead of swear symbols. That'll get their attention.


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