I Have Great Ideas (Redux)

Hey! In in the interest of saving my brain, I’m slacking off a bit this week regarding all things blog. In the meantime, won’t you please enjoy an oldie but a goodie from almost EXACTLY TWO YEARS AGO TODAY? You will? Oh, phew.

*        *        *

The next time you’re working in your yard, and you come across one of those shingles from when your roof almost blew off, don’t throw it away!

shingle.jpg

Because in addition to shingles, you never know what you’re going to find out there.

dog-poo.jpg

A shingle such as this makes an excellent dog poo scraper-off-er!

shoe-with-poo.jpg

And with all the money you’ll save by not buying a real dog poo scraper-off-er (. . . ?), you can buy a new pair of shoes, because I guarantee, you won’t be wearing these again.


Just another great idea from JD!

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33 Comments


33 Responses to “I Have Great Ideas (Redux)”

  1. 1 Kathy

    And don’t you just love all the little nooks and crannies that sneakers have? Makes the poo settle in there real nice like mortar. Ew.

    p.s. I may be slacking too. Feels like now’s a good time to take a breather. Enjoy your non-bloggy week!
    .-= Kathy´s last blog ..Kitty OCD =-.

  2. 2 Stephanie Barr

    *Taps foot*

    You’re copying me. I just did a reprint myself.

    Actually, I take back the foot-tapping. Copying is the sincerest form of flattery.

    Also, since I steal things (like great ideas) from you frequently, I’m not in a position to complain.

    Carry on.

  3. 3 Surfie

    You could even market that dog-poo-scraper-offer and make some $$. :) Enjoy resting your brain.
    .-= Surfie´s last blog ..She’s Bouncy, Trouncy, Flouncy, Pouncy, Fun Fun Fun Fun FUN! =-.

  4. 4 moooooog35

    I was thinking that the shingle was just sharp enough to kill the dog with.

    Voila! No more poop!

    See? You can include that in it’s versatility.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Sex with Pastry and Blind Education – Moogism Volume 1 =-.

  5. 5 Heather Kephart

    Yay! Poop! A subject near and dear to my heart. Hilarious! I just love your blog.
    .-= Heather Kephart´s last blog ..My Feet by Joe Joe =-.

  6. 6 Grace

    I know how you feel – been in the same mood for a week now – tho really I just HAD to write about pie today – I had pie on my mind…
    .-= Grace´s last blog ..Pie =-.

  7. 7 ann

    ROFLMAO OMG I thought I was the only one who took pictures of dog poo
    Now I know what to do with those shingles that have been blowing off my roof.
    .-= ann´s last blog ..Blogus Interuptus =-.

  8. 8 jen

    All of you lazy ass bloggers! get back to work and stop slacking. I just wrote a post on this very thing, bloggers all work in sync.

    As for pooper scraper off ers, when we were kids we’d wear cans on our feet to protect our shoes from the dog poop. I think we called them pooper shoepers or something like that.

  9. 9 jen

    sorry, got distracted. The can shoes didn’t really help but they at least prevented the middle of our shoes from getting covered with crap.
    .-= jen´s last blog ..New Study Reveals Boggers Get their Periods at the Same Time =-.

  10. 10 Christian

    I never thought that there’s also a picture of a dog poop here. I’ve just seen one a while ago and I forgot what site was that. Anyways enjoy resting your brain.
    .-= Christian´s last blog ..NCIS Complete Seasons 1- 5 DVD Boxset =-.

  11. 11 Daisy the Curly Cat

    Do you think this is how they came up with that food dish called “Sh*t on a Shingle”?
    .-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..Professor Daisy Talks on Water =-.

  12. 12 dcr

    That’s what sticks are for. And they’re biodegradable to boot… or shoe.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Sandy Sunday =-.

  13. 13 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Awww, thanks so much for the great tip!
    .-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Have You Ever Faked It? =-.

  14. 14 Buggys

    Re-use, Re-something, recycle, right? Thanks JD, you are always thinking. And you’re apparently an eco-friendly poop scraper too!
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Take a Memo Monday =-.

  15. 15 babs - beetle

    I usually rub my shoe on nearby grass to get the worst off then I have to carry it through the house and run the shoe under hot water to clean it, then bleach, bleach, BLEACH the sink! We don’t have roof shingle, or I might have tried that ;)
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Unexpected day at the hospital! =-.

  16. 16 Jeff

    Ah yes… the patented Popeil’s Pocket Pooh Picker!
    .-= Jeff´s last blog ..Mystery Monday =-.

  17. 17 cardiogirl

    Damn you Daisy you beat me to Shit on a Shingle. Ah, well.

    Good to see your shoes are clean.
    .-= cardiogirl´s last blog ..NaNoWriMo update: In which I become an alligator wrestler during week two =-.

  18. 18 Regan

    I think while selling these it should say “Good for one use only”.

    Because I don’t know how well they wash and they would make your house smell really bad.

    Or hey! If enough roof shingles fall off your own house, collect them all and scrape poo off your shoe with all of them. Then, when a neighboring house you do not like need their roof redone, get a roof builder friend and tell him to reshingle their roof with the ones you used to scrape poo off your shoe! Their entire house will smell bad forever, which will force these people you do not like to move.

    Another problem solved.

  19. 19 JD

    Kathy: I know. You can NEVER get all the poo out. Yes, I need a bit of a mental health break. Too much blog. Too much JD. Not enough life. Not enough JULIA!

    Stephanie Barr: Oh, I didn’t notice that! Which one was a reprint? Anyway, yes, we all steal around here. And I think there’s something going around. A lot of people seem to be taking time off or reprinting. It feels surprisingly GOOD!

    Surfie: I think it could possibly make some bucks. But maybe I could spiff up the design a bit.

    moooooo35: Wow, you’re right! I hadn’t thought of that. Stop the problem at its source! Man, I’m gonna sell millions of these.

    Heather Kephart: Everyone loves poo! I mean, jokes about it. And thank you, my dear.

    Grace: It’s probably more admirable to feel compelled to write about pie than poo, but we all have our compulsions. Mmmm. Pie.

    ann: Yup! I mean, if you’re already taking the photos, you may as well go that step further.

    jen: HA! I know. I’ve never slacked off before — not even when I’ve been away. WHAT??? Are you kidding about the can-shoes? I’ve never heard of such a thing. CANS? How did you wear them? Big cans, like Hi-C cans? I’m flummoxed and intrigued.

    Christian: Thank you. I hope you readers will find this dog poo post somewhat restful, too.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: Daisy! Does your mommeh know you almost said a bad word? I certainly don’t mind, for it was a very funny thing to say and worth having to use an asterisk. And I bet you’re right, too. How else would anyone think of such an expression?

    dcr: Speaking of expressions, why DON’T we say “to shoe” instead of “to boot”? Hmmm. You’re right about the stick, but that shingle had just the perfect pointy edge.

    Margaret (Nanny Goats): You’re welcome, my goatly friend. Always happy to share a great idea.

    Buggys: Yes! No fancy plastic dog-poo-scraper-offers for me!

    babs – beetle: Oh, the grass does NOT work. Especially if you’ve got all those nooks and crannies in the bottom of your shoe. That shoe of mine stayed outside, in the garage. No amount of bleach was going to save it or my house after it touched anything inside.

    Jeff: Heh, yes. YOU remember. And that’s a brilliant name. I wonder if they sell it on the Home Shopping Network?

    cardiogirl: That Daisy, she’s a quick one. My shoes will never be clean. Never.

    Regan: Your brain is an amazing thing. Why didn’t I think of that before our noisy new neighbors moved in? We really did have quite a few shingles in our yard, too — and PLENTY of dog poo. Shoot. Oh, well. It’s never too soon to start collecting for the next bad neighbor.

  20. 20 Keith

    You may just have started another cottage industry: broken shingle marketing. I can see street vendors hawking “dog poo shoe cleaners” on the sidewalks of cities where the parks are “fair game.”

    The best part from a marketing point of view is that they are not reusable. Nobody (in their right mind) is going to use the shingle and then stick it in their pocket or purse to reuse later. They might as well leave it on their shoe.

    Commercials on TV demonizing “poo shoe” will start to appear on late night shows and eventually become prime time fodder.

    Of course, different size shingle pieces would command different prices. And, of course, one with a sharp point would be better suited and therefore more profitable than one with only a shallow edge.

    Then broken shingle brokers (has a ring, doesn’t it?) would start driving up prices by trying to control the supply and distribution.

    And, when a country or region gets out of line, the shadowy broken shingle power elite would be able to exercise control by cutting off the supply of broken shingles. Imagine how smelly that country would become with dog poo all over their shoes.

    This would, of necessity, be an international business, because people let their dogs s**t anywhere.

  21. 21 Stephanie Barr

    Magic of Metric on Rocket Scientist.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..For Jeff: Said I or I said? =-.

  22. 22 Shaky Jake

    I’m thinking that I need to go back through your vaults a little more because I still enjoyed this–pictures of dog poo be damned.

    This does appear to be the time for “slacking off.” Maybe it’s something to do with the changing of seasons and all that but I’ve felt little to no ambition to write anything on my own blog for a while. My last entry was practically tortured out of me by my conscience. I feel your pain, JD!

    Anyways, you’re still terrific and I look forward to your return from brain-saving, but in the meantime I’ll go take a gander at some old-school JD.
    .-= Shaky Jake´s last blog ..Netflix Kills Thousands. Yet to Be Brought to Justice. =-.

  23. 23 Leeuna

    Actually I have poophobia. That’s the fear of stepping in poop. Thanks for the tip JD. Now I can go outside again.
    .-= Leeuna´s last blog ..Twiddling My Brown Thumbs =-.

  24. 24 Eddie Garcia

    Never thought about the use of a shingle to get dog mess off my shoes, but I guess it works as good as anything else. Hopefully I won’t need anything anytime soon to mess with that mess but thanks for the tip.

    Friends 4 Life!

  25. 25 Your Daily Cute

    A great tip! Maybe you should try and get on Martha Stewart or something…
    .-= Your Daily Cute´s last blog ..See If You Can Sniff Out this Trick… =-.

  26. 26 Tim

    “Aww, poodoo!” to quote from a movie…

  27. 27 Jay

    Ah yes! Us dog owners can spot such useful objects a mile off, you know. Although as someone else suggested, a stick is the usual option on account of you just toss it in the nearest hedge once you’re done.

    Just for the record, here’s the approved method, should you find yourself without a shingle:

    Curse and swear about dog owners who fail to pick up the poop (yes, I do. I pick up every time. There are designated areas where you can leave it, but anywhere else, PICK IT UP!! Grrrr!)

    Wipe foot on grass while dog looks bemused at the ‘mad monkey’s’ behaviour.

    Find stick, whereupon dog’s bemusement will change to mild interest in case there’s anything in it for him.

    Poke at sole of shoe, cursing designers of sole treads and their entire extended family. Dog will now remove himself to furthest extent of the lead in case there’s any fall-out from this inexplicable wrath. This has the effect of causing more cursing as you stagger around trying to keep your balance.

    Find puddle and slosh about in it for a while. Shallow puddles with a layer of fine gravel at the bottom are ideal. Some dogs will join in at this point, but not greyhounds. They melt in the rain, you know.

    Go home and leave trainers in the garden where the rain will wash the poop residue off for you, or alternatively in the conservatory where the heated floor will bake it dry so it will fall off during your next walk.

    I’m a dog owner. What can I say? Poop happens. LOL!

  28. 28 JD

    Keith: Hi! Will you write my blog for me? Wow, that was some treatise on the selling of shingles (and the resultant poo shoe). It all makes so much sense, and I’m proud to have been in at the beginning of this worldwide . . . movement. And yes, dogs DO s**t anywhere, at least in my backyard they do.

    Stephanie Barr: Oh, yeah! That’s the one Kathy submitted to Reddit, right? It was fun watching the traffic explode on that one. Good post to repost.

    Shaky Jake: Hey! I enjoyed your last post (I haven’t been commenting as much lately — see: “brain fatigue”) but you’ve still got it. I feel like I do too, I just need to give “it” a rest. I appreciate your taking a look thru the vaults. Good or bad, I worked hard on everything. Except this poo post. That one just kinda slid right out.

    Leeuna: That sounds awful! You wouldn’t want to visit me then. I’m glad my humble post has saved yet another victim of poophobia.

    Eddie Garcia: You’re welcome! You just never know, is the whole theme here. Just remember: if you find a stray shingle, hang onto it.

    Your Daily Cute: You THINK?! And maybe Martha’s own personal dogs could demonstrate!

    Tim: What the hell movie is that?!?!?

    Jay: I learned a lot here today. Grehounds melt and all dogs think we’re monkeys. Interesting! Thanks for sharing your own personal poo story. I wish the dog owner whose dog has been violating our backyard would read it. And learn.

  29. 29 Tim

    When young Skywalker wins the pod race and his opponent comes to a grinding halt in the desert.
    .-= Tim´s last blog ..New Green Product Saves Birds: Environmentally Sound Products To The Rescue! =-.

  30. 30 whia

    awesome! hahaha..

    I think your site is hilarious and very USEFUL to Me! :D i will keep watch for new posts from now on…hahahah :D
    .-= whia´s last blog ..Is Vengeance Sweeter than your Ex? =-.

  31. 31 MomZombie

    Thanks for the poop picture. I am reading while eating breakfast. I was considering a second course, but thanks to your amazing appetite suppressing abilities, I’m spared the extra calories.
    .-= MomZombie´s last blog ..Spam, you have me all mixed up =-.

  32. 32 Kathryn

    Oh, God….it’s like you’re inside my head!!!

    I have a pair of (deep-treaded) sneakers in the garage….which is where they’ll have to live….forever….because of the poop that’s smushed into every little nook & cranny of the sole. And no amount of roof shingle will remove it all.

    Of course, I could try washing them….but….what’s the fun in that??

    Hilarious post….and thanks so much for the visual. As if I could have forgotten what poop looks like….
    .-= Kathryn´s last blog ..Waiting =-.

  33. 33 JD

    Tim: OHHH. OK. See, I’m not a Star Trek buff, that’s the problem.

    whia: Excellent (rubs hands together in an evil manner).

    MomZombie: You should know better by now. No eating during I Do Things!

    Kathryn: YAY! So good to see you. My shoes lived in my garage for a while and then I just got rid of them. Despite my hopeful post, you really canNOT ever get the poo of. Never.


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