Would it surprise you to learn that brilliant blog posts don’t pop into my fertile brain, fully formed and ready to publish? Yes? Well, guess what? I’m just like you. I have tons of ideas sitting in my drafts folder. All, obviously, are brilliant. I just haven’t had the time to develop them. Maybe I never will. Oh, don’t say that! Of course I will. They just need to simmer a bit longer. Maybe you can help me turn some of these brilliant ideas into actual posts.
Some of my drafts have only keywords for titles and a few sentences:
So now there’s this thing where we’re supposed to carry our nuts in a box.
No, this is nothing like Dick in a Box.
The people at Real Simple magazine, in an effort to keep things Real and Simple, have decided that the best way for us to make sure we eat our nuts is to have a special box to carry them around in. (Note: This would’ve been brilliant if I had found the link to prove I wasn’t making it up).
Tonight I will be that mean old lady who doesn’t turn on her porch light and refuses to answer the door. I may even put up a sign: “No Candy Here—Not Even the Crappy Kind.”
Giving Up Potato Chips
Oh, crabapples! This is harder than I expected. I’m one day in, and I want my salty fix.
Very lucky in the in-laws department.
But there is one area over which my MIL and I clash and will always clash: the cold tomato
Rock Star Bulges
Recently, I told Dave about Adam Lambert’s performance on American Idol‘s “Rock and Roll” theme night. While there was, sadly, no Zepplinesque gong-on-fire ending during Adam’s awesome rendition of “Whole Lotta Love,” there was a whole lotta crotch. Now, suddenly, Adam’s crotch is upon us, so it’s time to talk about it.
Chicken in a Can
The Day After Christmas
Hmmm. This had potential. But what rhymes with “curlers”?
‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house
Not a cat toy was played with, not even Pink Mouse!
The presents were hidden in closets and drawers
In hopes that wee Prudence wouldn’t scratch them with clawrs
The cat beds were laid on the foot of the bed
In hopes that the cats would there rest their head(s)
And visions of iTunes . . . JD’s head (?)
And Dave in his bathrobe and I in my curlers
Some drafts actually progressed to the point of earning a title
I Went to the Ballet
This idea was based on a sole quote from Dave: “Where will you be dining? You at least have to have a scone. Every ballet has to have a scone stand.” Sadly, that’s all I had.
I’m Going Cold Turkey
You read that right. Cold turkey. I’m going.
I Hate Things
Milk flakes. Oh, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. Milk flakes gather at the rim of the milk jug and sprinkle into your coffee when you pour. You can’t get them out either. (I find it hard to believe I couldn’t come up with more things I hate.)
I Have Mad Cow Disease
encounter with stranger at Barnes & Noble (ummm . . . ?)
And some never progressed beyond the title
- Old People Are Ruining My Life
- I Like to Move It, Move It
- I Eat Healthy (what the hell?)
- I’m a
Yes, I actually felt the need to save an empty file with the title “I’m a.”
So? Which of these tender young seedlings deserves to grow into a beautiful, brilliant, blooming I Do Things tree of brilliance?
What are some of your brilliant draft ideas?