I Have a Crush on a Cartoon

I like to live like I’m in a cartoon
Yes, I’m chasing you all around the room

cartoon-man.jpg

I have a crush on a cartoon.

But it’s not some dumb Looney Tunes character. It’s one of those crazy Charles Schwab commercials. They took what must’ve once been a real guy and then cartoonized him. He looks cute! Why can’t we get the real version? Why do they do that?

Apparently this is the work of none other than Bob Sabiston, who used the same technique on the film Waking Life. This is also the same process used in the forever-awesome A-Ha music video “Take on Me.” It’s called interpolated rotoscoping, and you can see how it’s done here.

But who cares. And who cares about whatever it is Charles Schwab sells . . . investments? finances? 401K? I can’t possibly be bothered with these matters when there are cute cartoon men out there.

Here’s the video of my animated crush (and back off, he’s mine!)

So, tell me. Is this more disturbing or less disturbing than my crush on Jason Castro of American Idol fame (or, “Dreadlock Boy,” as Schmuckie calls him)?

jason_c.jpg

The thing is, Jason looks like a pretty, pretty girl. And the last time I checked, I like strapping male men. Dreadlock Boy doesn’t even pass the “Kiss Test”; in other words, there’s no WAY I can imagine myself kissing this girl-boy-child person. But, oh, I do love to look at him.

And I’m in good company. Here’s what some of Jason’s fans on the American Idol message boards have to say. Somehow, these thoughtful, well-written comments validate my confusing feelings:

holleenoel3:

your eyes r like so pretty!!!!
love them i am so going to steel them???

KELSEYLANE:

LOVVVVVE THE EYES!!!!
OMG!!!!!
WHERE DID YOU GET THEM???
I LOVE THEM!!!!!

felica101:

My goal in life is to meet this guy!!!
Wow . . .he is osoooooo amazing.
Me and Him Are gna get Married . . .
for sure . . .
he loves me . . . he just doesnt kno it yet . . .

KAZY_123:

aaaaaaaa YR SO FREAKEN BEAUTIFUL!!! BAK OFF PPL HEZ MY BLEEP!!! HA JASON? AHAHAHA LOL JK IM A GIRL ZO DONT WORRY!!! UM DOOD I LUV U SOOOOOOO FREAKIN MUCH!!! JASON ROX MY SOX!!! O I DONT HAV ANY ON LOL JK JK YUP YUP YUP U SING B- U-OO-IBUL!!!

See? I’m in good company. But no amount of ellipses or all-caps will win you Dreadlock Boy, my friends. Just wait till he gets a load of the cartoonized JD.

j-head.jpg


ZOMG!!!!1!!!eleven!!1111

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40 Comments


40 Responses to “I Have a Crush on a Cartoon”

  1. 1 windyridge

    OMG I so like um kant beleeve how people no longer no how 2 spell or write sentences

    windyridge’s last blog post..Mitttens, Baseballs and Fred Flinstone

  2. 2 Kathy

    Add this to the list of weird things about me…. The cartoonized people freak me out. I don’t know why!!! Maybe because they’re somewhere between real and fake. You have to pick a side and stick to it!

    I do love your cartoony portrait, though! It’s not in motion, so it doesn’t freak me out.

    As for the fan comments, this one takes the cake:
    LOVVVVVE THE EYES!!!!
    OMG!!!!!
    WHERE DID YOU GET THEM???

    Um, they came with his body?

    Kathy’s last blog post..The Flop Heard Round the World

  3. 3 Shieldmaiden96

    As a kid I was in love with Speed Racer. What with his jaunty ascot and driving gloves and all.

    http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/DES/D737~Speed-Racer-Go-Speed-Posters.jpg

    Shieldmaiden96′s last blog post..Four Things

  4. 4 Canucklehead

    Forget the cartoon people — Dreadlock Boy scares the shit out of me! (AHHH — KILL IT NOW!!!) I can honestly say that I do not watch American Idol and as a result this was my first encounter with him/it. I have a sinking feeling in my stomach – could he be the product of some sort of voodoo magic? Anyway – I have had (and continue to) all sorts of cartoon crushes … Wilma Flintstone, Jessica Rabbit, Judy Jetson … and now, cartoon JD! It’s all good.

  5. 5 JD

    windyridge: I could almost make sense of that—you obviously need way more exclamation points!

    Kathy: I have to say that the cartoon people kinda freaked me out, too, until I saw this cute guy. Now I’m looking at cartoon people in a whole new way.

    And…yeah. I’m guessing his eyes came with his body, too.

    Shieldmaiden: Oh, that’s so funny. I loved Speed Racer…but not in that way. How cool to be reminded of that time.

    Canucklehead: Aw. I’m honored to join the ranks of Wilma and Jessica. I don’t know where Dreadlock Boy came from—it could be voodoo. Maybe you’ll have to start watching American Idol to be sure.

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  6. 6 Stefanie

    I know my boyfriend has a minor crush on Jasmine from Aladdin, but I don’t know that I could ever have a crush on a cartoon character. For some reason I just imagine they would smell like crayons, and that’s definitely not a turn-on for me.

  7. 7 Corrina

    My thoughts, neatly organized for your reading ease…

    Aren’t teenage girls cute? 50 years from now English will be a thing of the past and Text Speak will rule all. LOL… Corrina’s last blog post..Day Off From Life

  8. 8 Corrina

    Oh ick! My whole comment got chopped off! LOL!

  9. 9 JD

    Stephanie: Mmmm…crayons. Another reason to love cartoon men!

    Corrina: I hate it when that happens! What else were you going to say? People want to know. I agree, Text Speak has to be stopped somehow. We need all the letters!!!

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  10. 10 Rickey Henderson

    A crush on a cartoon character? Is it Jessica Rabbit? No? Well that’s certainly creepy then. Don’t get into that whole cosplay thing, ok? Those kids are just weird.

    Rickey Henderson’s last blog post..Meme Fever: Catch It!

  11. 11 Cindy Lietz, The Polymer Clay Girl

    I think Dreadlock Boy looks just like John Travolta! Maybe a kid from a fling? Who knows?!!You’re right though, there is something about the boy that makes you want to watch him. Probably is Voodoo since it doesn’t really make that much sense to me either. My husband thinks he should probably stick to singing in his bedroom… thinks he is probably quite ‘efffective’ there. Judging by the comments from the little text messengers, he’s quite ‘effective’ on T.V. as well!

    Cindy Lietz, The Polymer Clay Girl’s last blog post..Gold Polymer Clay as a Base for Mixing Custom Colors

  12. 12 JD

    Ricky Henderson: Hello, there! Yes, I admit: it’s creepy. (But it wouldn’t be creepy if I had a crush on Jessica Rabbit?) I’ll stay way from the cosplay kids (which I had to look up): brrrr

    Cindy: Yeah, I didn’t see that resemblance, but now I do. A much younger and skinnier Travolta, for sure. He has an OK voice; without his looks, I doubt he’d still be around.

    VOTE FOR JASON!!!111

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  13. 13 Daniel

    I haven’t seen any pretty teen girls who need to shave, at least periodically, but I will agree that he is a pretty boy.

    Interesting post. Thanks

  14. 14 JD
  15. 15 Jeff

    Cool drawing. What did you use to make it?

    Jeff’s last blog post..March Malaprops

  16. 16 Regan

    I liked these the best:

    your eyes r like so pretty!!!!
    love them i am so going to steel them???

    and

    LOVVVVVE THE EYES!!!!
    OMG!!!!!
    WHERE DID YOU GET THEM???

    I just love the punctuation on “love them i am so going to steel them???”

    So first these people want to know where he got his eyes, then think that he can just take them out and give them up?

  17. 17 JD

    Jeff: Thanks! I use Paint Shop Pro, which is a slimmed-down (and way cheaper) version of Photo Shop. This is one of the many effects you can you on a picture.

    I urge everyone to go buy Paint Shop Pro now!

    http://www.corel.com/servlet/Satellite/us/en/Product/1184951547051

    Regan: HA! I know. How is that any way to treat a crush—”steel” their eyeballs? He’s not going to marry you after that, missy!

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  18. 18 Lisa Lisa

    That is so cool! I’ve never wondered what I would look like as a cartoon until now. I’ve always thought about how cartoonist put a lot of detailed work into the women cartoons. You know, big chest, skinny waist, curvy hips, luscious lips, long wavy sexy hair. Ok, I think they spend a little too much time on the touch ups for the Women. This cartoon guy you have on your post, I’d have to say is pretty cute ;o)

  19. 19 JD

    Lisa Lisa: Yeah, those cartoon women are pretty unrealistic. I could’ve emphasized certain features of mine, but that’s pretty much me, cartoonized. Do you think I make a good match with the cartoon guy?

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  20. 20 Lisa Lisa

    U guyz r like a match made in heaven. Although he may want to “Steel your eyes becuz they r like so pretty”. I couldn’t resist.

  21. 21 Cindy Lietz, The Polymer Clay Girl

    So when “steel” someone’s eyes does that mean you make them into metal balls?

    Cindy Lietz, The Polymer Clay Girl’s last blog post..Baking Polymer Clay Safety Tips – Fumes From Burning Not So Good

  22. 22 JD

    Lisa Lisa: U guyz R gvng me an idea 4 a new contest.

    And no one better be “steeling” my eyeballs, not even Dreadlock Boy.

    Cindy: HA! Yes, it must mean that. His eyes look a little unnatural, don’t they? Perhaps someone already “steel’d” them. Phew, boy.

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  23. 23 Ernie

    Well, in MY opinion; Dreadlock Boy looks like a rather homely girl and there is something really disturbing about his eyes. They’re freakier than Paris Hilton’s were on that little “home movie” she was in.

    Ernie’s last blog post..That Word Is Senseless

  24. 24 JD

    Ernie: A homely girl? NO way! And now everyone in the world knows you watched that Paris Hilton movie!

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  25. 25 elasticwaistbandlady

    Okay, American Idol would be so freakin boring if it wasn’t for stand-outs like David Cook and Jason Castro.

    Women go crazy for this guy because he’s not a typical A-hole musician that takes himself wayyyyy too seriously. He’s cute. He’s goofy. He’s talented.

    elasticwaistbandlady’s last blog post..The Smiling Infidel Plays Art Critic With Neither An Art Degree Or A Tweed Blazer With Elbow Patches!

  26. 26 elasticwaistbandlady

    I want to see if cartoonizing myself would make me look thinner. If so, I will henceforth be cartoonizing any and all pictures of myself.

    elasticwaistbandlady’s last blog post..The Smiling Infidel Plays Art Critic With Neither An Art Degree Or A Tweed Blazer With Elbow Patches!

  27. 27 JD

    elasticwaistbandlady: YES! Jason is goofy (or stoned?) and just seems to have fun. David Cook is winning me over. The girls are BO-RING!

    Will you send a picture of the cartoonized EWbL???

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  28. 28 Elle

    I lament the demise of English as we know it. Steel indeed. U R kidding. Ow. That hurt me to type. And my husband wonders why it take five minutes or so to get a text reply from me. I am typing, spelling and punctuating, KWIM? Ow. Do like cartoon boy and dreadlock prettiness as well. He looks so… corruptible.

    Elle’s last blog post..Four Foods on Friday

  29. 29 Ernie

    I only watched Paris Hilton’s video so that you wouldn’t have to.

    Ernie’s last blog post..Sext-Messaging on my new iPhone: part the Second

  30. 30 JD

    Elle: Oh, you said it! “Corruptible,” exactly! He’s so innocent and sweet. I suppose the American Idol tour will corrupt him soon enough.

    Ernie: Man, you took a real bullet for me. I owe you.

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  31. 31 Canucklehead

    JD – you won! My son pulled your name this morning! Mind you, he thought your name was ’10′ — and the way I wrote it, well, it did look like it. I will update the blog tonight with the details. In the interim, you get to chose a Canucklehead OR BILF shirt. Send me an email with your preference, size and address and I’ll order it as soon as I hear back from you. Congrats and thanks so much for all your support and entertainment over the last year. I’m delighted you won – have a great day!

    ps – I had no luck with your contact form … kept clocking.

  32. 32 JD

    Canucklhead: OH MY FREAKING GOD! I didn’t even officially enter, did I? No matter—the prize is MINE! I can’t believe it!!! WOO-HOOOOOOO!!!

    Thank you! And thanks to your fine son, too, for such good picking abilities. I will always be “10″ to him.

    Thanks for the heads-up on my contact form. I just changed my e-mail and forgot to make the change to the contact form.

    Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

    JD’s last blog post..I Have a Crush on a Cartoon so you don’t have to

  33. 33 Rozella

    Hey JD, was just passing by and OMG. My friends think I’m crazy but I have crushes on cartoons all the time as well! I think my biggest cartoon love was definitely Aladdin. He’s so cute! Hehe Btw, I am insanely gaga over Jason Castro too! Woohoo! It seems like I have met my match!

    Rozella’s last blog post..Be Careful What You Listen To

  34. 34 JD

    Rozella! Welcome to the world of crazy cartoon crushes! Yes, we must indeed be sisters from another mister to have cartoons and Jason Castro in common. I think it’s perfectly logical to fall in love with a cartoon (once you get past the creep factor), because aren’t they after all idealized versions of real people? I’m probably going to have to investigate this phenomenon further, starting with Speed Racer.

    Thanks for stopping by!

  35. 35 babs (beetle)

    Not sure about a cartoon guy but if I were about 16 again, Jason Castro would probably do it for me. Those eyes are a bit special ;O)

    babs (beetle)’s last blog post..Portrait of a little girl

  36. 36 JD

    babs (beetle): Hey, I know you from Kathy’s Junk Drawer, right? Welcome! And stay away from Jason Castro—he’s mine! Seriously, we can all enjoy him. Until he’s booted off. Yes…those eyes, the smile, the goofy faces…WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME (us)?!

  37. 37 arion

    well i dont kno what this is im just to bored ma sister is watchin disney channel n i dont havwe nothin to do ong i like this guy named alex n he is so fukin hot!!!!!!!1

  38. 38 boombith

    Cute cartoon character is good looking. nice i like that
    .-= boombith´s last blog ..10 Cartoon Characters Accusations of Satan =-.

  39. 39 Benjamin Barry

    Hey,

    Speaking of “Take on Me” and a-ha you might want to check out this band named after them called Memorial Beach – http://www.memorialbeachmusic.com If you like a-ha you would probably like them.
    .-= Benjamin Barry´s last blog ..Memorial Beach =-.

  1. 1 bloggingzoom.com

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