I Go Braless

Um . . .


Last night, while reading my favorite news publication, I found out that I’m supposed to be wearing a bra.

This whole “bra” craze has totally passed me by. In fact, I’ve never been very preoccupied with my breastal area.

I do vaguely recall being 16 and reading about a young woman who was a “late bloomer.” Phew, I thought. So, then, am I (I wasn’t). I also remember those chest exercises where you’d push your palms together and chant, “We must, we must, we must increase our bust, The bigger, the better, the tighter the sweater, the boys depend on US!”

But, as it turned out, boys didn’t depend on us for just big boobs, so I was cool.

Anyway, according to this magazine exposé, I need to spend approximately $50 on a bra. That’s the equivalent of two sushi take-outs from Sea Ranch. Which is more important to me? Proper support and nipple coverage or spicy teriyaki salmon with extra-EXTRA wasabi? I think we both know the answer to that.

But I was curious about this strange form of undergarment, so I read the descriptions.

Victoria’s Secret has a “7-Way” bra that allows you to change or remove the straps. That sounds way too complicated. There is apparently a type of bra called “balconette.” And something called a “bralette”! HAHAHA! Adding “ette” to words amuses me. For smaller chestlettes, why not purchase an Itty Bitty Bra? Because who wants to buy a bra named Itty Bitty, that’s why!

For a mere $44 I can “let this pretty bandeau peek out from under a tank.” For $44 it should do more than peek. I will wear that damn thing OVER a tank to completely confound the neighbors.

Spanx’s “Bra-llelujah!” promises the end of unsightly bulging, and I wonder if I can wear it on my butt.

Maidenform’s “Ultimate” push-up bra is the most appealing. Not only is it the cheapest of the bunch, it comes in leopard-print! Unfortunately, you need something to push up in the first place, and THAT is why I don’t even bother.

I do own a bra. My mom gave me one of her cast-offs. So it’s a Mom Bra. It’s very constricting, but isn’t that the very nature of bras? Also “bras” is a funny word. I think I’ll go with “bralette.”

And nipple flowers.


Bra came from here

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71 Responses to “I Go Braless”

  1. 1 babs - beetle

    A bra is a brassiere, but isn’t that an old fire holder or something? Oh that’s a brazier – well they sound much the same and the contents of both are hot!
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Everything comes to those who wait! =-.

  2. 2 The Incredible Woody

    Girl, I’ve been wearing a bra since I was 10!!!!!!!! I think it is high time that my girls are allowed to run free.
    .-= The Incredible Woody´s last blog ..Easter. Woody’s Way. =-.

  3. 3 Shieldmaiden1196

    My grandmother used to wear something called a ‘longline’ bra. It had approximately 37 hooks down the back and to this day I wonder how she got it on, since even the three-hook jobs require that I hook it in the front and zing it around because I lack the wrist dexterity to hook it behind me. But God bless her, you could have bounced quarters off her when she was all trussed up and whatever she put on over her grandma kevlar draped beautifully.

    I would be completely down with not wearing them if I didn’t need to. But my sisters and I were not so blessed. (A fact that, in my youngest sister’s case, engendered an invitation to go camping and at least one spontaneous marriage proposal from the guys in the firehouse who happened to be looking over my shoulder when I was looking at her Facebook page.)
    .-= Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog ..Fecal Matters =-.

  4. 4 Anne

    For many years, I didn’t wear a bra. Unfortunately, 2 kids and 40 some years later, if I don’t wear a bra, I bang myself in the knees. They aren’t big, they are just exceptionally saggy. How did that happen? Gravity is not my friend.
    .-= Anne´s last blog ..Happy Easter! =-.

  5. 5 Kathy

    I like the idea of the Victoria’s Secret 7-way bra, too. Sounds like the Swiss army knife of bras. Does it also have text message capabilities?

    Halle Berry once said she keeps her breasts perky by wearing a bra while she sleeps. She said that on Oprah so you know it’s gospel and now 10 million women are trying to perkify their breasts in this manner. Me among them.

    I like the “One Size Fits All” over at the nipple flower page. But what if you have really big ones? Or really tiny ones? Did they really test that?
    .-= Kathy´s last blog ..Tribal Blogs: The Crap-Free Zone of Blogging =-.

  6. 6 GoingLikeSixty

    Over the top bras: bra-seerers!

  7. 7 ann

    I started growing at an early age, I also peaked at an early age and never grew much of anything. It’s fine by me though because now that I’m getting older I will never ever have to worry about them sagging down to my belly button :)
    .-= ann´s last blog ..My Dinosaur =-.

  8. 8 Bernie

    Ah, to be able to not wear a bra. *dreamy sigh* If I don’t wear a bra my nipples drag through the carpet. I leave trails and get rug burns. I debated about getting my nipple pierced, but the thought of it snagging on the carpet, OWWWW! I must wear long nightgowns so I don’t “peek” out the bottom.

    However, since you read it in Star, it must be true.
    .-= Bernie´s last blog ..Starting To Work Out Again, Wii =-.

  9. 9 April

    I say if you’re fortunate enough to be shaped such that you don’t need to wear one of those evil abominations then don’t. I envy women that can do that. Our whole society is obsessed with large breasts and cleavage which is all fine and dandy – I mean they are fun to look at and all – but I would love to be tiny enough that I could go without. If I had the tiny waist to go with it. But I don’t and I’m not so I spend exorbitant amounts of cash on bras that lift ‘em up to give the illusion of beautiful and perky. It’s a LIE. Shhhh.

  10. 10 Grace

    Having been bosomy since an early age I have never ever understood why women would pay good money to have big boobs – they are just uncomfortable, inconvenient, and expensive. Actually small size bras are quite inexpensive – you can get nice one for 10-12 bucks. If I actually bought the right size bra I would have to pay, at a minimum, $40 – that’s the minimum price, mind you.

    Women will say “larger breasts make me feel more like a woman” oh, defining yourself by your body parts? The only body parts you should define yourself by are your brain and your soul.
    .-= Grace´s last blog ..Sunday Serenade =-.

  11. 11 Barb at WillThink4Wine

    What about Daisy’s Coconut Bra?

    Personally, I hate bras. They are uncomfortable and I’m just against that on general principal. And I don’t care what the boys like. Let ‘em get their own.

    Did that sound grouchy? Because I thought it sounded a little bit grouchy.
    .-= Barb at WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..Awww…Mondays =-.

  12. 12 Surfie

    I’ve been going sort of bra-less a lot lately now that I’m unemployed. Meaning I wear cheap little 3-for-$10 sports bras. They are much more comfortable. And some days I wear just a tank with the “shelf bra” built in. Which is really no bra at all, but just an extra layer of material with a strip of elastic at the bottom. I’m only a small B-cup (and had to gain 40 lbs to even get there!), so it’s no big deal for me to not wear a bra. It just makes me feel really exposed in public. I’m always worried I’ll get a chill and my nipples will show through my shirt. :(
    .-= Surfie´s last blog ..The Dynamic Duo Has Done it Again! =-.

  13. 13 Jen

    I want one of those 7 way bras. I hate the straps showing since I am not a teenager. Funny you don’t like wearing them. My 7 year old daughter begged me for one this weekend. Yes, they actually make them for 7 year old little girls who do not need one at all. The neighbor girl has one, and doesn’t really need her’s either but peer pressure is peer pressure and I’ve been giving into it for decades so why stop now? It’s basically a cropped tank top but she doesn’t know that. I hate wearing them too but feel naked and sloppy without one. However, when the work day is over it comes off, through the arm sleeve.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..And They Called It Puppy Love =-.

  14. 14 Noelle

    I’ll spend $50 or more on a bra because I know these beautiful ladies who run a bra-fitting service in my town. I get the best stuff from them, and since I wear my bras every day, it’s worth the money for me. The bras I get don’t do anything like astronomical cleavage or death-defying nipples, they just make my clothes look good.

    Thankfully, I’m on the swim team so I get to show off my wares on a daily basis in the locker room.
    .-= Noelle´s last blog ..1% inspiration =-.

  15. 15 puglette

    i happily go bra less at home. as soon as i get in the door, i aim for the bedroom to remove that sucker. sometimes i don’t even wait until i get home. i have been known to slip it off in the car on the way home, with hubby driving of course. i truly hate wearing a bra.

    and i always thought a balconette was the small balcony area in old fashioned movie theaters. i remember sitting in the balconette with my niece watching movies, we loved it up there. we could put our feet up and giggle all day up there!

    thank you for the offer, but i will go bra less for myself. :)
    .-= puglette´s last blog ..Charlie’s Road Trip =-.

  16. 16 injaynesworld

    I could not wait to wear a bra as a kid. And back then we stuffed them with Kleenex. I got into the braless thing briefly in the 70s, but they didn’t have nipple flowers back then and I was embarrassed by the leers.

    Thank you for going braless so I don’t have to.
    .-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld you’ll never hear "No Comment…" =-.

  17. 17 CatLadyLarew

    I remember that little poem about how to increase your girls! Not wanting to be so crass as to actually say the word “bra”, (which would have resulted in serious blushing in junior high school,) we called them “over shoulder boulder holders”… as if there were any boulders involved back then!
    .-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..The Egg: A Magpie Tale =-.

  18. 18 dcr

    This is another one of those posts I should not comment on.

    Like that rock star “bulge” post from many moons ago. What will it take to erase that from my memory?
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Mail-Order Russian Bride Spammers =-.

  19. 19 JD

    babs – beetle: HA! Nicely done, Babs!

    The Incredible Woody: 10??? Yes, your girls are WAY overdue. Set ‘em free!

    Shieldmaiden1196: You say you’re NOT blessed? I would have to disagree. But then it’s the old straight hair vs. curly hair argument that’s been going on for decades. Your grandmother sounds pretty impressive. If I have to wear anything, it’s a kind of half-camisole thing. Basically a child’s undershirt.

    Anne: That VS bra would have to at least get free wi-fi for me to pay the $70 or whatever it cost. Wearing a bra sounds so sad, but then look at Halle Berry. I don’t know how extensively they tested those Nipple Flowers. I’d be happy to volunteer, tho.

    GoingLikeSixty: Spoken like a true guy!

    ann: Nope, me neither. But it was hard to look ahead to that when I was 16.

    Bernie: OW! I can’t even imagine this world of being big-breasted. And nipple piercings can snag on ANYthing. So I’m told. Or so I read in Star.

    April: It IS a lie! Thank you for exposing it here. I hope the people from Star magazine get the word. I am happy not to have to wear one, even tho my mom says I should. But then, what mom doesn’t say that?

    Grace: Sing it, sistah! I agree. Well, I kind of have to, but I would anyway. I don’t understand paying for boobs, either. Having never had big boobs, I don’t see how they make you feel more womanly. I feel PLENTY womanly! (TMI?)

    Barb at WillThink4Wine: HAW! Yeah, I would wear a coconut bra before I plunked down $50 for a bralette. It did sound a little grouchy, but grouches are always welcome here.

    Surfie: Wait . . . so . . . the nipples aren’t supposed to show? Damn. OK. Well, maybe I better look into those Nipple Flowers for real. I do wear a sports bra when I work out, but even that is a recent development. Tell me where you find the comfortable ones, because all of mine are like Iron Maidens.

    Jen: Ah, through the arm sleeve. There you go. I probably wanted a bra when I was 7, too. I probably also wanted to smoke cigarettes, but times have changed. It’s funny that you feel naked and sloppy without one. I feel hemmed in and uncomfortable IN one!

    Noelle: Aw, you GO, girl! If I had wares worth showing off, I would probably join a swim team just to do so. I did once show off my all-over tan by showering at the Y once, but that was a few years ago.

    puglette: See how much you learn here? And I’m not even a bra expert! Your movie experience sounds really fun. Goobers or Raisinettes?

    injaynesworld: You got leers? Man, how come I never get any leers? Not that I’m trying for any, mind you. I remember girls stuffing their bras with Kleenex, and I actually may have done it myself at some point. Sounds like something I’d do.

    CatLadyLarew: HA! I’ve heard of that one, but it’s been a while. Yeah, we WISH we had boulders. Actually, I don’t, at least not now.

    dcr: Perhaps a photo of braless JD? That should do the trick.

  20. 20 Pricilla

    The male person once bought this thing to cover my udder so that the kids would stop nursing so he could take my milk. I guess it was a goat bra I don’t know.

    I just know I looked ridiculous in it and I wriggled out of that thing in a snap.

    Goats are not supposed to be encumbered. We are supposed to hang free.
    .-= Pricilla´s last blog ..Goatucation: All About Where We Live =-.

  21. 21 absepa

    I am WAY too modest (or prudish?) to go without a bra. Luckily, I am fairly flat-chested, and, like Grace mentioned above, small bras are cheap. I get mine at Target, and I refuse to pay more than 12.99. I didn’t read the article about Halle Berry, but I noticed about a year ago that I was more comfortable having some…harnessing in the chestal region while I slept. So I have one of those half-camisole things to sleep in. It does kind of make me feel like an old lady.
    .-= absepa´s last blog ..How Carrie Underwood and dog food made my day =-.

  22. 22 Lin

    And while we are bitchin’ about bras…why can’t we EVER find the same bra twice??? I mean, I go through the whole fitting thing at Nordstrom ( THE only place to get a proper fit, if you ask me), and then when that bra dies, I go to get another and there isn’t a thing that resembles my bra that I loved. Ugh. What is with that???!

    And why are they so darned expensive?? And if Victoria’s Secret is so expensive, why do their bras suck at fitting and wear??

    And why are bathing suits so expensive?? I mean, there isn’t much material and all……

    Gees, I’m all foamed up now.
    .-= Lin´s last blog ..Our new son, Sean =-.

  23. 23 Lola

    I’ve been wearing a bra since I was 9. I go bra-less around the house if I’m not going out any chance I get. I was mortified when I had shoulder surgery and had to go bra-less until my shoulder healed. I actually had to go out in public and go to physical therapy without a bra. I shudder to think of those days.

    Geez, now when I have a date, it’s all push-ups and underwires. (Gotta show off the girls.) Otherwise, I wear comfy sports bras.
    .-= Lola´s last blog ..Blagojevich fired again… =-.

  24. 24 meleah rebeccah

    I have been wearing bra’s since I was 12. And I finally decided three years ago that I was not going to spend 50$ on ONE BRA anymore. Now I just get the cheapy ones from Target. And they work just fine! But somedays I really wish I could go bra-less! Thanks for doing it for me!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Nine] =-.

  25. 25 Daisy the Curly Cat

    I prefer to go without a bra, myself. The coconut bra was not very comfortable; I think the shells were too hard. But Harley would probably wear a mansierre.
    .-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..Monday Funnies! =-.

  26. 26 puglette

    neither, i don’t care for peanuts or raisins. i preferred the chocolate non parreils (?) or jordan almonds. :o)

    and yes, your blog is always educational!
    .-= puglette´s last blog ..Charlie’s Road Trip =-.

  27. 27 Kathryn

    I wanna go braless! (She whined) But when I do…they feel…like…they’re draping around my waist. It’s freakin’ AWFUL…and I’m wondering if they would have held up better if I hadn’t fed three human beings with them. (WTH was I thinking??)

    On the bright side, the last 2 bras I ordered online were cheetah and zebra-inspired! If I glance down at the latter, it makes me think about being electrocuted…

    Welcome to the rest. of. my. life….
    .-= Kathryn´s last blog ..Milestones Galore =-.

  28. 28 Stephanie Barr

    Bralessness is not something I can indulge. Like several of your commentors being big (and old and post baby) combined with gravity have done horrible things.

    I’ll spare you more details. You’re so young.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..Multitasking =-.

  29. 29 dcr

    Perhaps a photo of braless JD? That should do the trick.

    I was only an infrequent viewer of Scrubs, but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t do the trick either.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Googling Away =-.

  30. 30 Florida Girl In Sydney

    Boobs boobs boobs. I for one was never given admittance to the Itty Bitty Titty Committee– I had some big knockers. Then I had a breast reduction, I chopped them puppies off. Best thing ever. Small and braless, be happy.
    .-= Florida Girl In Sydney´s last blog ..Steer Penis, Why Not? =-.

  31. 31 Janiss

    I’ve been a C cup since I was 14, so being braless is just not an option for me. And since I fight gravity tooth and nail, I wear underwire bras with enough lace and crap so that they at least don’t look like granny bras (I don’t want granny boobs, why would I want granny bras?). And yes, they are not cheap. I also wear sports bras that strap ‘em tight so they don’t bounce while I’m jumping around (they are not cheap either). Plus I do lots of chest flyes and other upper body exercises to keep ‘em as perky for as many years as I possibly can.

    Why the fixation? For about 20 years (from 14 on) I was always noticed for my big boobs (matched only by my big brain and bad attitude). My boobs haven’t changed, but the times have – now in my hometown of Los Angeles, everyone and her sister has had breast augmentation, so my breasts are currently considered AVERAGE, not big. All the more reason to add on another set of chest flyes. Maybe I should just give up and move to New York, where breasts aren’t such a big deal, but brains and bad attitudes are.
    .-= Janiss´s last blog ..The Furminator Fur Measure Contest! =-.

  32. 32 Surfie

    These are just soft cottony ones, made by Fruit of the Loom. I get mine from Walmart. They are stretchy of course, but they aren’t nearly as constrictive as some sports bras I’ve tried. Then again that also means they won’t provide as much support, but if you are small chested you don’t need it as much. Works for me!

    Some women don’t seem to mind showing of the nipplage, but it makes me really self-conscious. Probably a throw-back to middle school and the boys all saying things like “Gee, are you COLD?” whenever they can see a girl’s nipples. Hence the phrase on a chilly day “It’s a bit nipply out here.” Maybe I’m just neurotic. Who knows! :)
    .-= Surfie´s last blog ..The Dynamic Duo Has Done it Again! =-.

  33. 33 Patricia (The other one...)

    The first thing that entered my mind was Heidi Montag’s ENORMOUS implants…damn those are some big ‘uns. And why?? I have some Ds, and they bother me and are uncomfortable (as in, gotta grab the boobs while running up and down stairs without a bra) and I can’t imagine subjecting myself to an ‘E’ or an ‘F’ willingly.

    If you want to see something that’s…really something…type in ‘world’s biggest breasts.’ It is ASTOUNDING and she had to have them sweater puppies (more like great dane’s) installed in Brazil, as it exceeded the legal fake boob size limit in the USA. Who knew there was a law regulating the fake boob business?

    I’m with everyone else–shoes off first, then bra.

    My husband thinks it’s amazing when I’m in a short-sleeved shirt and can do the ‘magic’ that is taking off one’s bra without taking one’s shirt off…he still can’t figure it out when I pull the monstrosity through my sleeve. Ahhh, sweet, sweet freedom. Swing low, sweet chariot…

  34. 34 Yum Yucky

    Huh? Balcony Bras and 7-way Sushi Straps!! they can keep it…. oh wait, did I read that wrong?
    .-= Yum Yucky´s last blog ..She Fed Me Rat Salad =-.

  35. 35 Ann's Rants

    I go braless 80% of the time. I think I confuse the world the other 20% due to padding…where did THOSE come from??
    .-= Ann’s Rants´s last blog ..Prenatal Search Engine Optimization: Forget the latch-on, get your baby Linkedin! =-.

  36. 36 JD

    absepa: Huh. I just never would think to wear something at night. I mean, I DO wear something, just not on my chestal region. Interesting. Maybe I should be more modest or prudish. Maybe people don’t care to see my chestal region. Oh, well. I’m too old to change.

    Lin: Wow! I didn’t realize this was such an inflammatory topic! I’ve always wondered about the whole professional bra fitting situation. Nordstrom’s, you say? Can’t you bring in your old bra and say, “MAKE ME ANOTHER ONE!”? I don’t know how it works. As far as bathing suits go, I just go without. But they ARE expensive, aren’t they? I don’t get it.

    Lola: Well, at least you have girls to show off. I wore a particularly tight sports bra once, and MAN, did I all of the sudden have cleavage! I was all, Look at me! I’m all grown up! I’m sorry you had to go through an embarrassing braless period.

    meleah rebeccah: The cheap bras work just fine! Did you hear that, ladies! Get thee to Target! Yes, I’m happy to go braless so you don’t have to. Unless you want to. Then you have my blessing.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: I was hoping you’d weigh in on the coconut bra issue. I thought those shells might be a little uncomfortable. Are you sure Harley wouldn’t wear a “bro”?!

    Kathryn: Aw! Being able to feed yo’ babies is the best thing you can do with a couple of breasts, in my opinion. Y’all are making me feel nervous about the sagging. I probably should be taking some precaution; I’m not TOTALLY flat, after all. Perhaps some push-ups or chest presses?

    Stephanie Barr: But I think I’m older than you! Altho I’m not post-baby. Gravity has yet to take its toll on the one area I KNOW it will strike with deadly force: my butt. Soon I’m sure I’ll be posting about girdles and butt supports.

    dcr: HA! Are you sure? I hear he has a nice, hairy chest!

    Janiss: That is awesome. You are truly an inspiration for “average”-sized breasties EVERYWHERE! I would’ve been sooo jealous of you at 14. I still sometimes wish I had a little more on top, if only to balance out the bottom half. But, I am a happy little pear, also with a big brain and bad attitude. HA! I love that.

    Florida Girl in Sydney: Ouch. Why do I find myself cowering and covering my chesticles at your description of “chopping them puppies off”? I’m very glad you made that decision and are happy with it, tho. And the Itty Bitty Titty Committee? Not that big a deal.

    Surfie: No, you’re not neurotic! I should probably be more cognizant of “nippy” weather. I remember wearing a white shirt to lunch with a friend, and when we walked back to our cars 5 blocks away, it started to rain. No coat. No bra. White shirt. Yeah. I could’ve used one of those soft, cottony Fruit of the Looms bras.

    Yum Yucky: No, no, you didn’t read it wrong. You just invented two new bras! I, for one, will be buying the Sushi Strap bra. Only if it comes with extra-EXTRA wasabi, tho.

    Ann’s Rants: Hee! I once wore a padded bra under a summery dress, and it really made me look huge. And weird. And fat. I think I’m better off with zero padding.

  37. 37 moooooog35

    Banjo music would have been totally appropriate in the background for this, fyi.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Giving Blood is Like Sex with Jaundice Relatives =-.

  38. 38 Buggys

    I’m not a fan of underwear these days. Uncomfortable anything, I don’t like. These days I’m unemployed and ununderweared! If I go out though….what can I say, I’m a product of my Mothers upbringing. I don’t think I could figure out how to work a 7-way bra! They must have ‘parts’. Would you lose the parts and then have to use safety pins? That wouldn’t feel good.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..My Family – Conversations =-.

  39. 39 dcr

    Can we just go back to talking about Debbie Gibson? LOL.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Bringing Old Projects Back to Life =-.

  40. 40 Patricia (The other one...)

    The first thing that entered my mind was Heidi Montag’s ENORMOUS implants…gosh those are some big ‘uns. And why?? I have some Ds, and they bother me and are uncomfortable (as in, gotta grab the boobs while running up and down stairs without a bra) and I can’t imagine subjecting myself to an ‘E’ or an ‘F’ willingly.

    If you want to see something that’s…really something…type in ‘world’s biggest breasts.’ It is ASTOUNDING and she had to have those ‘sweater puppies’ (more like great danes) installed in Brazil, as it exceeded the legal fake boob size limit in the USA. Who knew there was a law regulating the big breasts business?

    I’m with everyone else–shoes off first, then bra.

    My husband thinks it’s amazing when I’m in a short-sleeved shirt and can do the ‘magic’ that is taking off one’s bra without taking one’s shirt off…he still can’t figure it out when I pull the monstrosity through my sleeve. Ahhh, sweet, sweet freedom. Swing low, sweet chariot…

    P.S. I was put on moderation for saying the D word…and it wasn’t Debbie Gibson. Sorry about that.

  41. 41 MomZombie

    Thank your for letting your girls run free range for me. In my youth I could do the same. These days? The matrons need to stay in the corral.
    .-= MomZombie´s last blog ..Home. Homey. Home-ish. =-.

  42. 42 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Well aren’t you just the hippie, running around bra-less in this country and completely naked in others. The next thing you’re going to tell us is that you have long hair.

    .-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Goat Thing of the Day: Surf’s Up! =-.

  43. 43 Christa

    breastal area? I thought it was the boobage zone? My bad. You’re so freakin’ smart JD – you scare me, for real sister!

    I couldn’t post it here but I sent you a private message with the 3M bra video. Did you get it? It showed real life boobs being taped up with 3M’s new invention (genius I tell you).

    I’ve been thinking about a tittie lift (oh, can I say tit here?) but the thought of removing my nipplage area and re-applying it with stitches makes me want to barf.

    So, if we can save money on bras (and eat more sushi) while supporting the boobs with the 3M tape, I say we GO FOR IT!

    I don’t want bigger boobs, I simply want my knockers to be so high in the air I can rest my chin on them, or, hold a coffee cup. Is that too much to ask? A resting spot for my joe…now isn’t that special?

  44. 44 Molly

    I think my favorites are my exercise bras. I didn’t know the girls could get so flat. However, after your post, I might think about doing my next 5K with no bra, or how about just no clothes? http://nuderuns.com/ Wha??? It’s on my bucket list for sure!
    .-= Molly´s last blog ..Ready to Walk 5K or 10K – FAQs for Newbies =-.

  45. 45 LJ

    Since my boobs have ungraciously begun to be more pancake like, and stare in two completely different directions (one in particular is extremely cock-eyed), I feel it is my duty to not scare the neighbourhood children. A bra is my destiny.
    .-= LJ´s last blog ..If Jesus Had a Facebook Page =-.

  46. 46 mrsblogalot

    I had one of those 7 ways one time…I almost choked myself.
    .-= mrsblogalot´s last blog ..Hi Ho The Merry Yo – The Blogger Takes a Wife =-.

  47. 47 Lauren

    Getting my first bra was equivalent to getting my first car, although the car was a 50-50 split with my dad, which was not the case with the bra. I wish I could go braless, but there’s probably a law against that, carrying a concealed weapon and all. There’s a reason they’re called knockers.
    .-= Lauren´s last blog ..MadTV Parody of a Timeless Classic – Wizard of Oz Alternate Ending. =-.

  48. 48 JD

    moooooog35: Like, “Deliverance” banjo music? Or “Hee-Haw” banjo”?

    Buggys: “Unemployed and underweared”! I’m sorry about the unemployed part, but at least you’re compensating by being comfortable. No, I’m sure I’d have to resort to safety pins and also possibly rubber bands and pulleys to operate one of those 7-strappers. Be comfy, everyone!

    dcr: HA! Yes. And look! You didn’t even get thrown into moderation!

    MomZombie: “Matrons”? I hardly think so. It’s all a comfort level thing. Physical and mental comfort. I feel so dang constricted by a bra, it makes me feel sad. Of course, the world probably feels sad whenever it encounters me braless, but I can’t please everyone.

    Margaret (Nanny Goats): Long hair, nakedness, bralessness, but I DO shave. Legs and underarms and such. I must not be a true hippie.

    Christa: It figures that your boob needs would somehow involve coffee! Hey, I’m cool with boobage zone, and YES, “tittie” is fine. (“Tit,” tho, always reminds me of “titmouse.”) Oh, god. No one takes my nipples off, for ANY reason. That is a scary thought. The 3M video is awesome. I’d actually prefer tape to a bra.

    Patricia (The other one. . . ): (Is your “the other one” a shout-out to Teen Girl Squad, by any chance?) OMG, Heidi Montag is a monster! And she’s so skinny! It makes my coccyx hurt just thinking about it. I’m off to Google “world’s biggest breasts,” because I am a glutton for punishment. Yeah, if men haven’t even figured out how to unsnap our bras, the removal-by-sleeve method should have them mystified forever (sorry about all the moderations!)

    Pricilla: Goats and humans: HANG FREE, I say! Don’t let those male persons entrap your udders! I think you’re onto something here, Pricilla!

    Molly: I cannot advocate nude runs, I’m afraid. I just don’t need to see that much bouncing . . . of anything. But best of luck to you!

    LJ: We all must follow our destiny. Actually, your boobs sound very interesting. Cock-eyed pancakes, you say? Unique!

    mrsblogalot: HA! Yeah, that’s probably what would happen to me. Or I’d snap it and lose an eye.

    Lauren: Wow, I’m surprised at the percentage of big-boobed women! Awesome! Maybe I should change my tagline somehow to reflect this. You mean your dad didn’t share the cost of your first bra? That seems unfair.

  49. 49 Buggys

    Perhaps I should say “unemployed and unencumbered” sounds better.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..My Family – Conversations =-.

  50. 50 Sheila Sultani

    I used to think I quit working to stay home and be a great mom – well, at least that’s what I want people to think. The REAL reason I stopped working – so I don’t have to wear a bra.
    .-= Sheila Sultani´s last blog ..No More Peecrastinating, I’ve Got A Urination Proclaimation =-.

  51. 51 Katie

    Oh, I’d MUCH rather spend my $$ on sushi, too. I’m right there with you.
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..The Cheese Touch =-.

  52. 52 dcr

    Maybe the moderation phrase changes daily to keep us on our toes? Maybe today’s moderated celebrity is Tiffany. ;)
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Is There Anything that People Won’t Complain About? =-.

  53. 53 dcr

    Or not…
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Is There Anything that People Won’t Complain About? =-.

  54. 54 Bringerofmorning

    I can’t imagine not wearing a bra. I didn’t in my teens when I was a tiny 32B but at a top heavy and natural 36D it’s uncomfortable not to. I’m only 5′ 1 and otherwise petite. If I want to run I have to restrain my mighty chest with a sports bra AND a lycra top. But wearing a bra is a pleasure, and yes I sleep in one because it feels nice.

    I’m 48 and my boobs have yet to drop. I attribute this to my brilliant bras, love them.

  55. 55 daughterbonnie

    34DDD and no…this size is not intentional. I had a super depressing 1st marriage that led to a 40lb weight gain. The weights gone but the big boobs stayed. I’m *so jealous* you can find freedom. For every hour you don’t wear a bra, I prob balance it out. I wear two when I jog. There is no such thing as braless when your a 5ft, “blessed”, 25 yr old government employee. I either hide the girls or use them to heavy advantage. (Hey I carry them so they should earn their keep!).

    One day- I will go braless..but until that day thanks for keeping the dream alive!

    (Btw the average c boob weighs 3 lbs…there’s books on the math formula!)

  56. 56 Chris@TheSnackHound

    I had to laugh about the “Bra-llelujah!” I never heard of that one before. Well – as a consumer of expensive bras because I am an odd size, I can attest to the investment in a good one – but not a gimmicky one. The worst are strapless bras. If you need a strapless bra, these days the sides and backs of strapless dresses don’t cover them – how strange is that? They expect everyone is comfortable with double sided tape and a fair amount of rope and glue, or just fold one arm in front of you to hold your purse and sweater close to your bosom and the other folded in a strange way holding your hors d’oeuvres plate
    .-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Paprika Added to the Fiestaware Line =-.

  57. 57 V

    My bras are like me, cheap. I certainly don’t need to wear one, I got nothing. It doubles as rodeo gear, I can rope and catch anthing or use it to make a citizens arrest and tie up the person until help arrives.

    This woman at my job has huge nipples and I wish she would get her a padded bra to tame those puppies. I know the office is cold but she’s exaggerating. A lot.

  58. 58 meleah rebeccah

    Oh JD you crack me up, thanks for the bra-less blessing!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Nine] =-.

  59. 59 JD's Mom

    I couldn’t resist making a few comments:

    1) The real word is brassiere – shortened to “bra.” Just so you know.

    2) I have tried on the Spanx bra and it is wonderful – it does put an end to bulges, and it very comfortable. But I agree, for $60 is should also play the complete Rod Stewart Songbook!

    3) Did you know there are now Butt Bras. Don’t ask me how I know, just Google “Butt Bras.”

  60. 60 Shelly

    I hate wearing a bra. I wear one as little as possible. I keep one by the door in case someone (like my In-laws) show up unexpectedly. I also wear one when I go out but it comes off the minute I walk back in the door.
    .-= Shelly´s last blog ..Spring Break =-.

  61. 61 Maureen

    I never paid much attention to bras until my daughter was older… she was the one who dragged me into La Senza (Canadian version of Victoria’s Secret). Now I own way too many…

    And then she WORKED at a bra place and learned even more about a properly fitted bra. She cringes that I used to grab just any old “old lady” bra before.

    Geesh. Kids.
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..Oh Snap! =-.

  62. 62 dcr

    Let me see if UB40 is today’s moderation phrase. ;)

    BTW, I vote for a new blog post because I keep coming here and it’s uncomfortable, like when you have to go through the women’s department to get to a different department at the big box stores. Why is that, anyway? Why can’t they have a path that doesn’t require that men have to walk through the women’s undergarments department to get to sporting goods?
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Reader Poll that has Nothing to Do with this Blog =-.

  63. 63 Tarheel Rambler

    I’m an auxiliary member of the blog police. and I’m issuing you a citation because this post didn’t carry the mandatory warning that it was for females only. Since this is your first offense, you only have to send me a check for $500 toward the down payment on my new camper. A second offense will result in a fine equal to the full cost of the camper.
    .-= Tarheel Rambler´s last blog ..Welcome To Emerald City =-.

  64. 64 JD

    Buggys: I had to look back at your previous comment. “Un-underwear”! Yes, maybe “unencumbered” is better. It has a more positive connotation, I think!

    Sheila Sultani: YES! That’s the attitude. I think we need to have a virtual bra-burning. Not quite sure how to do it, but I’m working on it.

    Katie: I know, right?! And sushi is MUCH healthier!

    dcr: Good try. Even I don’t know the magic word. I could be in risk of ending up in moderation myself!

    Bringerofmorning: Hey, as long as it feels good and you like wearing your lovely bras, that’s awesome. I love the phrase “mighty chest” and wish I could have the chance to use it to describe myself some day. Not likely, I guess.

    daughterbonnie: I like your attitude, sistah. 3 pounds?? I reckon my butt makes up about half of my weight. That’s interesting that you lost weight but not in you boobs. With me, that’s the first place I gain or lose. Don’t be jealous. Enjoy them! As you say, they may as well earn their keep!

    Chris@TheSnackHound: Mmmm . . . hors d’oeuvres. Anyway, an “odd size,” you say? Interesting. I almost think I could swing the double-sided tape thing, but I guess I’d have to carry a pretty big purse, just in case.

    V: Ewwwww! Huge nipples and a cold office do NOT go together. Meanwhile, I’m imagining you whipping off your bra (under your shirt) and lassooing a bank robber. Awesome. Finally, a reason to wear a bra.

    meleah rebeccah: You’re very welcome. It’s what I do.

    JD’s Mom: Thank you for your comments! I don’t know whether I should be more disturbed by a bra that plays Rod Stewart or the fact that my mom is Googling “Butt Bras.”

    Shelly: So is your bra just kind of hanging on the doorknob? I think I would just have to fold my arms in front of me if a surprise visitor showed up. That is, if I cared in the first place.

    Maureen: Wow, your daughter and my mom would get along great. I know a proper-fitting bra makes a big difference, and there are some very pretty bras out there. I guess I’d still rather spend my dough on sushi.

    dcr: Your comment made it through safely (the phrase that day was “Flock of Seagulls”). And I heard you and complied. New post! No bras! No girdles! And most important: no bulges.

    Tarheel Rambler: Uh oh. I didn’t even KNOW there was such a law. I guess ignorance is no excuse, eh? Uh . . . can I pay you in sushi?

  65. 65 Rebecca

    I think the only reason Victoria’s Secret invents new “stuff” is to keep the men flipping through the catalogs.. :-p

    Going braless is OK for the first few years (ages 14 to 15)… but after that, don’t the girls tend to go south? I mean… waaaay wayy Deep South? Well, maybe having cushions between the knees by age 60 isn’t such a bad idea….
    .-= Rebecca´s last blog ..How to Tell Someone is Unemployed =-.

  66. 66 Onedia

    Well, for some of us ….bras have long been a matter of pain control….Wrong bra is painful, no bra can be painful…especially when running, walking, bouncing, bobbing, swimming. They are also handy for keeping them where you want them. I do remember my maternal Grandmother being outraged at young women in the 60′s going braless….as she sat on her front porch with her 36 LONGS hanging free under her checked house dress.

    The big search for those of us who need building cranes to defy gravity is a comfortable bra that keeps it all together and OFF the ribcage without the dreaded wires.
    .-= Onedia´s last blog ..Ten Evaluation Criteria For Successfully Selecting A Life Partner =-.

  67. 67 David

    A … 7-way bra? The mind. It reels.
    .-= David´s last blog ..Just, You Know. Stuff. =-.

  68. 68 Toni

    I adore Victoria Secret Bras. I would die without them I think LOL
    .-= Toni´s last blog ..Winners at A Daily Dose =-.

  69. 69 JD

    Rebecca: My girls haven’t gone south . . . yet. But they are very small. I’m not saying they’re as perky as they were in my 20s, but they’re not resting on my stomach yet.

    Oneida: Owwwww. I don’t know how you do it. But “36 LONGS”??? HAHAHAHA! (Sorry, Grandma.)

    David: I know, right? I can barely come up with one way to wear a bra.

    Toni: Death by bralessness? Sounds painful!

  70. 70 kay peterson

    Bras & Boob concealment/ revealment is the greatest capatalist con and due to the dollars involved nothing will get more practically liberated for many more decades.

    I’m someone who has fluctuations in weight that depending on the cause and making life style adjustments regarding the cause and treatment result in a few years of whatever weight.

    I hate bras in all but my skinny tiny boob stage which is the briefest time. In my average size state-the longest times, and in my overweight states of a up to 5 yr stretch I really hate bras as the boobs end up quite big.
    Nipples are always prominent and take padded ones to hide them. In my biggest states I’m most comfortable with a small section providing a little support under the boobs and periods of no bra.

    I wear bras for going out to when it’s advisable to not look “skanky” (a hegemonic concept), too floppy with defined nipples in view. Tends to be for males visiting-sometimes including my sons.
    Otherwise, I can’t be bothered being squashed and shoulder sore for minor daily activities, including going to my local shops with the full bra deal.
    Nor will I wear huge ugly sack like tops of hot dense materials to hide my boobs and nipples.
    Society can be be grateful I am not topless, atleast wearing tops I like, even if outlines are there.
    As Lilly Allen said , “they are only tits.”

    Therefore I am not bothering to concern myself and comfort on the possible perceptions of men that are not in my personal sphere in what I’ll wear.
    I am amused that despite my technically fitting the unaesthetic titty monster males claim not to want to see, the majority of any age seem fascinated and some want to be very friendly. Though most very quickly -though possibly perplexed- cue in to my not seeing my tits as a selling point.
    They seem to recognise my stance of I just have them, like with my nose and no notion of wearing a band aid to hide it. If more tits were less hidden then males would be far less tittilated by them.

    There are no bras that are comfortable for more than 5 hours of the best fit range or not too hot for warm weather if wearable for a whole day.
    For maximum figure attractiveness for great outfits there is no avoiding the well made pricier bra for bigger boobs. Then the sacrifice for those times re comfort is needed.
    The next most conmfortable bra is a padded underwire of any price, with the cups folded over under the boobs.

    Billions of bras are comfortable at very low prices if the boobs are small enough and really no bra is needed. Though sushi with salmon and wasabi would be a better investment.

    It is only in certain employment sectors and public situations where the attire is used to express the persons role and function is where one would excpect both men and women to wear whatever it takes to project that message.
    Otherwise garment shackles ought to be without reacting to capatilist created pressures.

    The most ludicrous succumbing to manufactored pressure is the women embaressed by having prominent nipples. That of a natural healthy feature regarding an essential biological function of feeding infants.
    Do Olympic runners think to find clothes that hide their long legs? No! The same ought to go with nipples.

    Women ought to wake up regarding the consumption of goods by examining thoughtfully the rationale in what, when and why.

  1. 1   In Search Of The Perfect Bra — Momma Mia, Mea Culpa


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