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Oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man.
Now I’ve done it. I’ve turned a corner of shame and I can’t go back. Ever.
You guys! Since 2002, I’ve enjoyed American Idol without shame. I didn’t care who knew. I even confessed to crying when David Cook won last year, for crying out loud.
But things have gone too far. I have sunk to such depths of shame, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able—or want—to drag myself out.
In the beginning, I hated Adam Lambert, just like everyone else. Yuck! He was too over the top, too theatrical, too eyeliner-y, too TOO. I much preferred the more dignified Gokey, the Timberlake-esque Giraud, the Kelly-ish Iraheta.
But then I heard that Lambert sang Tears for Fears’ “Mad World.” This is one of my favorite songs. I had also heard that Simon Cowell gave him a standing ovation—an event on par with God knocking on my door and telling me he loved my colonoscopy post.
Unfortunately, the show had run long and my tape cut off. I ran to the Internet, where there were still a few illegal videos of Adam’s performance. They cut the song almost in half, but it was still awesome. Really, really awesome.
Did you see it? Is it just me? What is happening? I’m 48, for crying out loud. And, no, I don’t think he’s cute, nor do I have a crush on him. But the song! And his rendition! And the glowy blue lights that seemed to shine from his maybe magical crotch! And the standing O! (And then my lying-down O—I’m sorry, was that too much?) And he was wearing a man scarf! And the way his lip curled when he sang “nervous” or how he stood up and his voice swelled to beautiful new heights on “Look right through me, Look right THROOOOOO MEEEEE . . . “
Maybe you can see how I was pushed to the most shameful act of my life.
I downloaded an American Idol song. Ugh, I KNOW! Never in all my AI-watching life have I done this. Partly because Dave gets a receipt of all iTunes purchases and he would mock me endlessly and partly because . . . I don’t even know. Because I’m too cool? Well, if that were ever true, it’s all over now.
And then, oh MAN, I downloaded the freaking video! Had I known I could find a decent-quality version online, I wouldn’t have bothered, but you never know when these uploads are going to be snatched away. (Edited to add: HA! I was right. The video has been taken down.)
That was about a week ago, and what have I done in that week? I’ve listened to the song and watched the video. Over and over and over. I’m listening as I write this. And I’ve stopped about six times to watch the video.
Damn you, Adam Lambert!
So . . . have you lost all respect for me? Would someone else like to confess to a shameful American Idol-related secret? Do any of you even watch AI? If you watched the video, are you an Adam Lambert convert?
And most important:
What will Adam sing tonight?