I Embrace My Randomness

Sha la la la la la la

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Thanks to my buddy, Random Yak, you will now learn Eight Random Things about me, JD.

1. I have a pathological fear of my own belly button.

If anyone were to touch my belly button, I would drop dead. I don’t even like to think about it. Writing this paragraph is causing me a lot of discomfort. My belly button is admittedly pretty dirty. I don’t really mind other peoples’ belly buttons, but I would never touch one or look at it too long. Dave suggested I see a doctor about my strange fear (I’m blaming a traumatic umbilical cord separation) but went on to posit that such a visit might result in a long needle being inserted into my belly button. Needless to say, if no one’s allowed to look at my belly button, no one’s going to be stabbing it either. But I’m not alone. Apparently other great minds share this phobia.

2. I often hold my breath when strangers pass by, in case they smell.

Come on, you do, too! There’s nothing worse going about your business among the people of this world and then getting a whiff of hair that smells like years of dirty living or that peculiar aroma of fried garbage that no amount of fake Obsession is going to cover.

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4. I can only eat one end of a banana.

After I peel it, I eat the top end, but when I get to the bottom, I have to throw out that end. The same is true with pickles but, strangely, not hot dogs.

5. I can’t make the rolling R sound.

I can’t snap my fingers either. When I try to make the rolling R sound I just end up with a lot of spit. When I try to snap my fingers, the sound produced is merely a weak ffffttt instead of a sharp, crisp snap. Although genetics has been cruel to me in these areas, it has blessed me in others. Many others, if you know what I mean (You don’t? Er . . . neither do I, actually).

6. I met Kiwi pop superstar Chris Knox at the Flying Nun offices in Auckland, New Zealand.

He was gluing labels onto his new CD. We would later watch him play a concert at the University of Auckland, but getting to meet him face to face was an unexpected major event. See photographic evidence of this historic meeting! (Note: tho the photo was taken more than 10 years ago, my hairstyle makes me look at least 45.)

7. I’d rather throw up in a bathtub than a toilet . . .

. . . as long as it was someone else’s bathtub. Well, I’m not going to throw up in my own bathtub, am I?

8. I was once hoisted in the air by a sweaty male stripper.

My college friends and I often drove up to Lake Geneva in Wisconsin to enjoy the drinking age of 18 and the Sugar Shack (Site contains nudity! Go now!), a strip club that attracted a lot of screaming females. Recently, Dave and I went together, and it was totally not the same.


Hey, guess what?! This was another of those crazy memes. According to the rules, if tagged, you must link to the person who tagged you, list eight random things about yourself, then tag eight other people.

I think I’ve used up all my good-natured sources for tagging. If anyone would like to carry on this fine meme, by all means, tag yourself!


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Comments


9 Responses to “I Embrace My Randomness”

  1. 1 Kathy

    I can get past the throw up thing, and the banana thing, and the belly button thing. But you’re really gonna have to explain yourself on #3. I’m waiting….

  2. 2 cyberpunk

    interesting random stuffs…

    Some people find belly buttons cute, but I don’t. I don’t want to look at them for more than a second.

  3. 3 JD

    Kathy: I thought I might leave that open for interpretation. Or perhaps a caption contest?

  4. 4 JD

    cyberpunk: Thanks for stopping by! I’m glad I’m not the only one who has an aversion to belly buttons. Why do we even have to have them? YUCK!

    (like your blog, by the way)

  5. 5 Jeff

    Big deal about #8. I mean who among us HASN’T been hoisted in the air by a sweaty male stripper? Honestly, you should really try to be more original.

  6. 6 JD

    Jeff: Hey, who said anything about original? I’m only trying to be random here. I’d like to see your list of “Eight Original Things about Jeff,” and there had better be pictures. Of sweaty male strippers.

  7. 7 Lord Likely

    Is your third fear the fear of being accosted by men with pixelated faces?

    I think that is an entirely rational fear!

  8. 8 JD

    Lord Likely: Well done, sir! You have guessed the mystery of the Number 3 Random Thing.

    I urge all my readers to avoid men (and women) with pixelated ANYthing.

  1. 1 bloggingzoom.com

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