I Eat Cereal Marshmallows

Pour a little sugar on it, honey

Oh, boy, oh, boy, OH, BOY!

My new cereal marshmallows are here!

Remember that whole cereal marshmallow debacle? You can read about it here, or you might prefer to enjoy this brief summary:

I ordered some cereal marshmallows online, and they sucked.

And, of course, I had to write a post about it. Well, guess what happened, my little bloglings? Not long after that post appeared, I got an e-mail:

Hi there. This is about your marshmallows on your blog.

Uh-oh.

It was the owner of the cereal marshmallow site! RUN! HIDE! But I didn’t. I kept reading:

I thought your post about it was funny except for one thing . . . you weren’t happy with my product. Now that makes me angry . . . and you didn’t tell me . . . now I’m angrier.

CRAP! Cereal Marshmallow Guy is going to get me! But no. He had added a little smiley face to show he was only kidding. Turns out, he is a really nice guy who can’t bear having an unhappy customer. He said he must’ve sent me the “kosher” marshmallows, which are not made with gelatin (apparently a key ingredient to a successful cereal marshmallow). He insisted on sending me a new shipment of marshmallows, free of charge.

Awww!

Well, if you’ve been to his site, you know he doesn’t just sell cereal marshmallows. When I excitedly opened my box, in addition to three beautiful bags of colorful, extra-gelatin marshmallows, I found:

LOOKIT!

So much cool stuff! That hat says, “Pimpjuice,” by the way, and I totally rock it. Energy supplements, 2 awesome T-shirts, stickers . . . wow! I was thrilled but also terrified. What if these cereal marshmallows sucked too? Would I be forced to write a bad “review,” even after receiving all this cool swag?

I was so excited to run out and buy some cereal to accompany my cereal marshmallows! But first, a 4-hour nap. Then, on to Walgreen’s, my one-stop shop for junk food and drugs. Last time I tried the marshmallows with Rice Krispies, but this time, no shilly-shallying. I went straight for the hard stuff:

I made my cereal base:

Then added the marshmallows:

A cautious chomp. Another more enthusiastic chomp. The verdict?

THEY ARE DELICIOUS!

And just look at that sweet, sugary marshmallow dust:

What a relief. My search for the perfect cereal marshmallow—which has been going on for, what, a whole month?—has ended.

Please visit this guy’s site and buy some cereal marshmallows today. Why not get a Pimpjuice hat while you’re at it?

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60 Comments


60 Responses to “I Eat Cereal Marshmallows”

  1. 1 Puglette

    I am so glad you are here to eat the marshmallows for me…I think they are a teensy bit repulsive. I am relieved that you will be able to take care of my share, I would hate to be known as a marshmallow slacker.
    Thanks, friend!
    hugs,
    puglette
    :o)

    Puglette’s last blog post..Lazy Sunday

  2. 2 Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry"

    I never knew you could actually buy special cereal marshmallows! I knew Lucky Charms cereal already has some in it, at least it used to when I was a kid. It’s been a long time since I ate Lucky Charms.

    Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry”’s last blog post..Spunky Doodle Helps Set Up The Natvity Set

  3. 3 Jen - Queen of Poo

    LOL! Love how you have a little cereal with your marshmallows. The marshmallow guy sounds cool. I love great customer service.

    Jen – Queen of Poo’s last blog post..A New Goal

  4. 4 unfinishedrambler

    I went back and read your first post and thought “Uh oh, Is JD going to sell out and give a good review after she gave a bad review just to cater to the corporate interests?”. Then I read the rest of your post. Whew! You didn’t, and that is great customer service. I don’t know if I’m into cereal marshmallows that much, but for those who are, it sounds like a great place to start (and maybe finish) your search for them.

    unfinishedrambler’s last blog post..When I turned 17 (1987), it was a very good year (for music)

  5. 5 chat blanc

    How AWESOME!! It’s so reassuring to know that there are kind and decent cereal marshmallow dudes out there in the world. :)

    btw, I love your cereal to marshmallow ratio. perfection!

    chat blanc’s last blog post..Flat ass

  6. 6 Shieldmaiden96

    OMG. Does he have them in chocklit? I have to go look.

    Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Exhibiting my meme-ory

  7. 7 Shieldmaiden96

    Well, just the other ones, but I may have to pick some up anyway.

    In college the Lucky Charms were in one of those big plastic dispensers and it didn’t take us long to figure out that the bottom feed nature of the dispenser made all the cereal sift to the bottom and the marshmallows stay on top, so if you wanted an extra shot of marshmallowy goodness you had to open the top and scoop them off with your bowl. Provided the cafeteria po-po weren’t watching.

    Shieldmaiden96’s last blog post..Exhibiting my meme-ory

  8. 8 PG

    the….

    I made my cereal base:

    Then added the marshmallows:

    combo made my day! good stuff all around.

    PG’s last blog post..THE Toll House (311/365)

  9. 9 Susan

    No milk? That’s the only way I could tolerate them, I think.

    Susan’s last blog post..Dear Santa:

  10. 10 Kathy

    As far as I can tell from the picture, your cereal to marshmallow ratio is 1:300. I think there’s a 12-step program for that.

    Also, I think the guy who gave them to you is nice and all, but you know he’s your “dealer” now, right?

    That’s how it starts. They send you stuff for free “Just to make sure you’re satisfied with the product,” and it’s all downhill from there.

    FYI, the best rehabs are in California.

    Kathy’s last blog post..I Made a Rookie Mistake

  11. 11 The Hawg!

    Glad that all worked out for you! Your earlier post about those marshmallows was horrifying (I do believe you threatened to send me some, in fact).

    The Hawg!’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday — The Undertones

  12. 12 stephanie barr

    My 5-year-old son, who also eats cereal dry, would LOVE this. We have finally broken him of the habit of pouring out entirely boxes of cereal on the floor and picking out just the marshmallows (36 hours and no mistakes!) so I’m sure he’d bust a gut with joy at the notion of getting his sugar high so readily instead of that intravenous feed he was contemplating.

    Before someone has a conniption at the notion of my son eating food off the floor, let me tell you two things. (1) Alex has eaten off every surface in the house (including, possibly, the ceiling) AND outside – you can’t stop him; we’ve tried. For two years (until age 2.5) everything we gave him was automatically dumped on the floor before consumption (which is why we stopped giving him soup) no matter what we did to prevent it. Apparently, he believed floor added an certain something, spicewise, that he could not obtain otherwise. (2) He is also the healthiest child I’ve ever known, bar none. He has had 2 colds in all his life, has broken nothing or had to be taken to the hospital, despite the fact he’s also a climber, jumper, chewer of all things dangerous, etc. (Yes, this grey hair is directly attributable to him). And he gets away with darn near everything because he’s resourceful, mind-bogglingly cute, and impossible to reason with.

    What was I talking about again?

  13. 13 Regan

    Woo! I just added these to my Christmas list. I want some extra extra gelatin-y marshmallows. Yuuum…. I want some right now.

    I think someone should make a board game with the marshmallow pieces. I just might do that. The only problem is everyone would eat the pieces. Unless I just make little plastic pieces resembling the marshmallows. But that wouldn’t be as fun.

    What do you think?

  14. 14 Steve | Trade Show Guru

    hi JD,
    And here I didn’t think Fruit Loops could be made any better… you are genius. Sheer genius.
    ~ Steve, aka the “sweet toothed” trade show guru

    Steve | Trade Show Guru’s last blog post..When Free Ain’t Free

  15. 15 JD

    Puglette: Oh, my little Puglette. I’m happy to eat these marshmallows for you. I’m sorry you find them repulsive, but rest assured that as long as I’m around, no one will ever call you a marshmallow slacker!

    Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry”: I just found out myself. I’ve always loved Lucky Charms but never felt there were enough marshmallows. Problem solved!

    Jen – Queen of Poo: I know, right? He’s the best. I did actually go back and sprinkle a few more Froot Loops in the bowl. I’m not an animal.

    unfinishedrambler: Oh, I hope I never have to sell out. I hate corporate interests! But this cereal marshmallow guy is a rare find. Cereal marshmallows aren’t for everyone, but isn’t it nice to know they are easily accessible?

    chat blanc: It is quite the perfect ratio, isn’t it? Now I don’t have to pour all the Lucky Charms out onto the counter and painstakingly pick out all the marshmallows.

    Shieldmaiden96: Unfortunately, no chocklit, but if you e-mail him, he may try to get ‘em for you. And how enterprising were you, figuring out a way around the Lucky Charms dispenser. I probably would’ve ruined it for everyone by just tipping the thing over into my bowl to get ALL the marshmallows.

    PG: Good stuff indeed. Folks at home: don’t forget your cereal base!

    Susan: I left out the milk step. I didn’t mean to confuse anyone. Milk is, of course, very important. But not too much! You don’t want soggy marshmallows.

    The Hawg! Yes, I did threaten. And I may threaten again, because these are really good, and your kids will love them. Trust me!

    stephanie barr: Well, that’s the method I used to employ, only I used a sheet of wax paper instead of the floor. And, Stephanie? I think you’ve got another humor post here: “(which is why we stopped giving him soup).” I think I’m gonna have to look into this floor-eating idea. If it can prevent the common cold AND make me mind-bogglingly cute, I’m ready to hunker down right now!

    Regan: Another great idea. You could have pieces of different colors and shapes, and you collect pieces in a giant cereal bowl. The winner has the most marshmallows. I think you’re on to something here . . .

    Kathy: I don’t need no stinkin’ 12-step program! I can quite any time I want (shoves cereal marshmallows into face) And you leave my pusher . . . I mean my cereal marshmallow guy out of this!

    Steve | Trade Show Guru: It’s true. You know, they used to make Froot Loops with marshmallows. I don’t know why it was discontinued. It was the best cereal ever.

  16. 16 brooke

    Oh my God that looks so delicous I want them now!!

  17. 17 Fancy

    I still think you should make rice krispie treats with them, think of how festive they would look!

    Fancy’s last blog post..Magical snowflakes

  18. 18 Lidian

    JD, I had no idea that you could buy cereal marshmallows! And that you could create what is basically a bowl of marshmallows with a very sparse underlay of cereal (which gives the whole thing its moral justification, not that this is really necessary)…Best part of that awful Lucky Charms cereal, the little marshmallows.

    I am glad you were there to eat them for us! And am also glad that the Marshmallow Guy was not really angry, but in fact very nice. Such a happy ending! :)

    Lidian’s last blog post..A Grumpy Gal

  19. 19 Musing

    Here I’ve avoided temptation for a couple of decades and now how will I contain myself??

    Must. have. cereal. marshmellows.

    Musing’s last blog post..Highlighted Blog: The Jannaverse!

  20. 20 feefifoto

    THANK GOODNESS YOU FOUND THE CEREAL MARSHMALLOWS!! I was oh-so-bereft without my own lifetime supply and now you’ve saved the day.

    By the way — have you tried toasting them yet?

    feefifoto’s last blog post..You Know, He Has Point There

  21. 21 Tim

    He he – I love the way you call that colored stuff ‘cereal’ :) Is there even any natural ingredients in there?
    Incidentally, about 30 miles from where I am working there is a town by the name of Cereal. I bet that makes for lots of lame jokes!

  22. 22 Jen

    This was so funny! I was having one of the crappiest days and then I stumbled on your blog and now everything is all better! And I want to order marshmallows for my cereal even though I don’t like marshmallows. Everything in the world is right at this moment. Thank you!

    Jen’s last blog post..Fuckity Fuck!

  23. 23 Jeff

    Ooh… I think their marshmallows suck too!!! I think their marshmallows suck too!!!

    p.s. I can be reached at st.cloud.harmonicaman at gmail.com

    Jeff’s last blog post..The stockings were hung by the chimney with care… in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would have air

  24. 24 Maureen

    Just READING that gave me a sugar shiver… and I LOVE sugar!!!

    So glad you found marshmallow nirvana. It was worrying me, frankly. Now I can rest easy knowing someone out there has come to your rescue.

    Maureen’s last blog post..Merry Christmas, Maureen

  25. 25 flit

    I think the marshmallow blog was the one that snagged my attention …and shortly after I dragged stephanie over here to read you too :)

    Tis very cool that the guy discovered you didn’t like his marshmallows and followed up on it

    flit’s last blog post..So… thinking positive

  26. 26 Wayne John

    You touch my marshmallows I’ll bite ya.

    That’s a great find…passing it to Jacq so she can get me some for Christmas

    Wayne John’s last blog post..Navigating the Blogger Administration Interface

  27. 27 Erik

    Great post and use of pictures. Had me smiling and I really appreciate a good business person. I sent your blog and his address to a number of friends. Thanks!

    Erik’s last blog post..Well of Joy

  28. 28 Jessica Kassensysteme

    yeah, they look really delicious. what a great post.

  29. 29 Daisy the Curly Cat

    Now that the marshmallows are Deeply Discounted, I might have enough allowance to buy some of my very own!

    Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..My Cootie Catcher Catched Some Cooties!

  30. 30 JD

    brooke: I bet you do. Maybe I’ll give away my remaining bag as a prize.

    Fancy: Thanks for reminding me! I’m gonna do it. I love Rice Krispie treats and with these cereal marshmallows? I will rule the world.

    Lidian: Isn’t it a heart-warming tale? I was clued in to the whole cereal marshmallow thing by another reader, on the first cereal marshmallow post. It was like a dream come true.

    Musing: Give in. There’s no point fighting it. We’re all helpless against the cereal marshmallow.

    feefifoto: Ooh! Toasting? No, I haven’t. Hmmm. Should I put ‘em on a graham cracker or something? I wonder about microwaving. You guys have some great ideas.

    Tim: I would love to visit the town of Cereal. Do you think they give out free samples? And . . . OK. Maybe Froot Loops isn’t the healthiest of the candy cereal category. But I do believe it’s fortified with . . . a vitamin of some sort?

    Jen: Aw, thank YOU! What a nice comment to read first thing in the morning. I think cereal marshmallows can do a lot more than we give them credit for. They certainly always put a smile on my face. Thanks for stopping by!

    Jeff: Sneaky! Let’s see if it works. I know you want a Pimpjuice hat.

    Maureen: I’m so glad you can now stop worrying. I think the entire Internet just breathed a sigh of relief. Or maybe that was a giant sugar shiver.

    flit: It was cool, wasn’t it? And how funny that you were “snagged” by the first marshmallow post. See? Cereal marshmallows really can do everything. Where would I be without you and Stephanie?!

    Wayne John: All right! (bursts into a quavering rendition of “It’s a Marshmallow World in the Winter . . . “)

    Erik: Great! These cereal marshmallows deserve to be eaten worldwide. Thanks for stopping by and spreading the love.

    Jessica Kassensysteme: Thank you! (Are you by any chance . . . German?)

    Daisy the Curly Cat: I hope so! I think you would really enjoy them. You can do what Prudence does: play with them for hours until they are coated with dust, then chomp them.

  31. 31 Meg

    Thank you. I keep telling my family that there are many more things to come from blogging than are dreamt of in their philosophies. ;)

    Meg’s last blog post..Meg’s Meandering Monday

  32. 32 Canucklehead

    Marshmellow roast anyone. I’ve got a lighter and straightened paper clip at the ready ….

    Canucklehead’s last blog post..Play Until You’ll Dino-SORE!

  33. 33 Tiggy

    Coming next – JD rants about expensive vodka that tasted weird, how those all-inclusive vacations to Jamaica suck, and that awful Ferrari test-ride she had…

    Worth a try.

  34. 34 Babs - beetle

    I left a comment yesterday. Where is it? Did you bin me? *Wipes tear from her eye and leaves*

    Babs – beetle’s last blog post..Oh Carol! Thanks for the memories.

  35. 35 Regan

    Hmmm… I might actually do the ceral marshmallow board game idea. Maybe over Christmas break…

  36. 36 Babs - beetle

    It’s probably just as well they are in the US because I would buy some and I mustn’t. I want to know how he knew about your post. That’s a bit eerie.

    Babs – beetle’s last blog post..Oh Carol! Thanks for the memories.

  37. 37 Kindledude

    Your blog is a hoot. So, there’s an award for you! At http://www.kindlelicious.com/2008/12/i-am-very-pleased.html. Thanks.

    Kindledude’s last blog post..I am very pleased…

  38. 38 Lord Likely

    I wish to say that I also really hate marshmallows, and think they are the Devil’s confection.

    If anyone needs me, I shall be waiting by my letterbox for a large delivery of delicious marshmallows.

  39. 39 brooke

    I will win it should be a 2 lies and 8 truths.

  40. 40 JD

    Meg: You are quite a wise blogger, my friend.

    Canucklehead: Oh, me! Tho I think a paper clip might be too big. Maybe a straight pin? (smell of roasting flesh fills the air . . .)

    Tiggy: Wow! Why haven’t I consulted you before now? That’s 3 great posts in a row! BAM!

    Babs – beetle: Noooo! Never! I don’t know what happened!

    Regan: That sounds like a productive use of your time. Keep me updated.

    Babs – beetle: I’m guessing (hoping) he was just Googling “cereal marshmallows” . . . ? Hmm. That is eerie.

    Kindledude: Oh, gosh, THANKS! I’m on my way . . .

    Lord Likely: I couldn’t quite hear you. I think you need to state your opinion MORE FORCEFULLY!

    brooke: Hmm. Not a bad idea!

  41. 41 cardiogirl

    Wait just a minute here. Did he re-formulate the ingredients so the next batch didn’t suck?

    Were they stale — I mean the first batch.

    How does he explain the discrepancy? Do tell.

    cardiogirl’s last blog post..I can find that piece in three days or less

  42. 42 Christa

    Wondering if you’ve come down from your sugar high yet?

    Should we send over an intervention team?

    “Hi, my name is JD and I’m addicted to marshmallows.”

    Does marshmallow guy have any purple only bags of ‘mallows? hummmmm – could be a great Christa-mas gift for myself.

    Christa’s last blog post..Brain Farts

  43. 43 Baron von Rochester

    I believe I am officially grossed out. I am very grateful that you did this so I don’t have to, because I would be praying to the porcelain god, no question.

    Baron von Rochester’s last blog post..A Curious Compliment, and The Sun, Plus: Joseph Haydn, Comedian

  44. 44 Preston

    You shameless hussy! I didn’t even know you could by cereal marshmallows by themselves. I thought it was just part of the cereal. And what is that with the sweet marshmallow dust? Actually, it sort of looks like that colored sugar candy that came in straws and we called pixie sticks or something like that. I guess after you’ve eaten all your marshmallows, you can write a post called, “I went into a sugar coma so you don’t have to”…
    LOL I can’t help myself!!!

    Preston’s last blog post..Shakespeare, I Thought I Knew Ye

  45. 45 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    OMG – I LOVE this post! You crack me up throughout. I love your cereal base. I love this: “my one-stop shop for junk food and drugs”.

    Woman, you rock. Even more than the cereal marshmallow guy!

    I remember your post about the marshmallows before and I’m glad this story had a happy ending.

  46. 46 JD

    cardiogirl: They did seem a bit stale, but it was more than that. They just plain sucked. The guy claimed that I’d gotten a “kosher” batch, which lacked gelatin. I was sure the new and improved marshmallows wouldn’t be any better, but THEY ARE!

    Christa: I don’t think I ever completely recover from my morning’s sugar high (I’m careful to keep feeding it throughout the day so I never crash). Thanks for the offer of an intervention, but if sugar is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. As for purple marshmallows — ask him! He’s very accomodating!

    Baron von Rochester: Oh, dear. It’s so hard for me to understand how these fake, colored, sugary bits of processed sugar could NOT be appealing to everyone. Thank god I was here to eat them for you.

    Preston: HA! I AM a shameless hussy! See the fun things we can do as adults? Oh, boy, if that sugar dust tastes like Pixie Stick dust? I’m in heaven. I’ll let you know—as soon as I wake up from my sugar coma.

  47. 47 Joe

    I just ordered some. I wonder how they would taste in my hot chocolate?

    Joe’s last blog post..Caption this

  48. 48 Grandy

    Do you NEED cereal to accompany the marshmallows? I would think that yummy goodness could be nibbled by itself. :)

    I’m SO coveting that “Pimpjuice” hat just cuz the name rocks!! ;)

    Grandy’s last blog post..Magic con Queso

  49. 49 Janna

    I went back and read your previous marshmallow experience, seeing that your previous cereal base consisted of half a bowl of Rice Krispies.
    Thus I found it terribly amusing that this time the base had a mere smattering of Froot Loops. Fewer than 20. :)
    Hee.

    I LOVE cereal marshmallows. Love Lucky Charms. And I agree, if they don’t make your teeth hurt, it’s not worth it. There’s a certain texture that is “just right”.

    Now I’m craving Lucky Charms, with about a gallon of extra marshmallows. Can’t wait to hear those brain cells sizzle and hum as I run laps around the ceiling.

    I also loved how you called Walgreens “my one-stop shop for junk food and drugs.” :)

    Janna’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  50. 50 JD

    Margaret (Nanny Goats): Wow! Thank you! Who doesn’t love anything related to cereal marshmallows? I’m glad you remembered the previous post — it makes this one easier to read. WOO!

    Joe: I haven’t tried them that way, but I’m going to. I think they would be awesome.

    Grandy: The hat is sweet, but not as sweet as mah marshmallows. At times I did get only a big mouthful of marshmallows–no cereal. And it was good.

    Janna: HA! Yeah, I learned last time: not too big of a cereal base! It’s so nice to meet a fellow Lucky Charms lover. And believe me, they’re SO much better with about 100 X more marshmallows. And now you know where to git you some!

  51. 51 Julie

    Everytime I was pregnant I would crave Lucky Charms and eat a big bowl before bed lol.

    BTW I have those same dishes :O)

    Julie’s last blog post..Did you know

  52. 52 Job

    I’ll stick to my lucky charms cereal marshmallows. Thanks for the research though.

  53. 53 JD

    Julie: Well, I can’t even use that excuse. I crave them any time, all the time. May I compliment you on your taste in dishes?

    Job: You’re very welcome. You know where to turn if Lucky Charms are ever discontinued.

  54. 54 Sandy

    Thank you, thank you, for eating that crap, I mean cereal for me so I don’t have too!! That is disgusting looking, all that marshmellow dust!! YUK!!!

    Sandy’s last blog post..Breakfast Is The Most Important Meal

  55. 55 JD

    Sandy: You’re very welcome, but . . . surely you’re kidding! “Crap” “Disgusting”??? Never!

  56. 56 Alice Clifford

    this makes me throw up all over my voodoo doll of you.

  57. 57 JD

    Alice Clifford: I don’t know which is more disturbing: the fact that you have a voodoo doll of me or the fact that you threw up all over it. I hope it’s not ruined.

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