I like you so much better when you’re naked!
The day has finally come.
I’ve tantalized you with tales of my nude adventures.
I’ve teased newcomers with my “I Do Nude” category label.
I’ve even shown you Dave’s snail.
Plus, I’ve dropped a few pounds, and, as I know from previous experience, those pounds could come back at any second, so.
No better time than now.
No reason to put it off.
Today, and today only (well, of course, and all the days that follow as long as my blog is still online which after this post may be numbered):
JD
Does
Nude
0
0
0
DAMNIT, Kanye! We all know The Bloggess has the best naked body of all time; I’m not saying mine is anything special. I just wanted to do nude for my readers this ONE TIME without being interrupted. Geez.
(Stalks off in a naked fury.)
_____________________________________________________________________
- Props to Speedcat Hollydale and the numerous others who did it first and did it better. And thanks to dcr for his link to Speedy’s post.
- Apologies to the world.
- A special thanks to my overeager photographer.
- And, yes, I do have boobs. Somewhere.
Kanye came from here.
Naked JD came from here. Oh, I’m sorry. Is that link not working? YOU PERVERT!
58 Comments
Made me look! Dangit, Kanye!
.-= Rob O.´s last blog ..Gitar =-.
I love it! Damn that kanye, getting all up in everybody’s stuff! I would be flaunting mine too if I looked that good. I have a little excess flauntage these days.
.-= Buggys´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
Well, at least, you got the guys in your audience to pay attention.
.-= Unfinished Rambler´s last blog ..BREAKING NEWS: Aliens return Agatha Christie book they abducted =-.
Nice body JD, well done, I have to lose some pounds and you have inspired me a lot, thank you!
That Kanye sure gets around… I bet he could make a living being paid to interrupt things.
Don’t think your best friend should be marrying that “person”? Hire Kanye to crash the wedding. “I’mma let you finish, but Beyonce had the best wedding of all time.”
Your best friend having a baby? How cool would it be for Kanye to drop in? “I’mma let you finish, but Beyonce had the best birth of all time.”
Town hall meeting? Call in Kanye. “I’mma let you finish, but Beyonce has the best health care plan of all time.”
Your favorite singer receiving a music video award? Why not have Kanye, er, um, yeah, that’s been done, sorry.
.-= dcr´s last blog ..I Rite Stuf So U Don’t Haz 2 =-.
Kanye did not even turn around and look?
I think the beads were a good touch.
.-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..No more webcam =-.
I do have the best naked body ever. I keep it under my bed. It’s not as awesome as it was when it was fresh though.
.-= Jenny, Bloggess´s last blog ..It’s called a skill because you have to work at it. =-.
You look fantastic! I hate you. HATEYOUHATEYOUHATEYOU! You don’t even have a stomach! What is that all about? Here’s a donut. Either eat it or throw it at Kanye’s head.
(LOL about the Kanye thing.)
.-= Heather Kephart´s last blog ..Good Morning,Toilet! =-.
So should we call you “Venus” or “Ms. DeMilo” from now on?
Wait, you have arms. She doesn’t. She has boobs. Yours seem to have relocated.
Nevermind.
.-= Jenn Thorson´s last blog ..Neighborhood Watch or The Tale of Old Fat Naked Guy =-.
Hysterical. And, no, I’m not laughing *at* you, I’m laughing with you.
.-= Your Daily Cute´s last blog ..Awesome Lynx Cat Making BIG Biscuits =-.
Please go eat some bacon so I can feel better about myself. A lot of bacon. I’m calling Oscar Meyer to get you some freebies. Bloggers shouldn’t look like that. Bloggers should look like me with my raggedy shorts, unkempt hair and food splotches on my t-shirt from shoveling food in my face while seeing what Supernanny is going to do about those three obnoxious children.
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..This isn’t live, it’s Memorex. Spoonflower Prints Art on Fabric…. =-.
Just when I thought my vision had come back from the last time I clicked a link on here that said “snail”, I once again go blind because of my own short attention span.
Even without Kanye being Kanye, I don’t think I would be able to get much of an eyeful anyhow.
.-= C.B. Jones´s last blog ..New age techniques for dealing with anger management. =-.
Heh… you said boobs.
.-= Jeff´s last blog ..I double dare you to watch this one =-.
LOL You do not disappoint, J.D. !
See, I try to avoid stalking in naked fury; too much jiggles.
In my case I stalk better in boots and turnouts with tools and a helmet. All my squishy bits are thus contained.
.-= Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog ..Conversations I Hope You Never Have =-.
Wow…you should be flattered. I think Kanye has disrupted so many speeches that it’s become kind of a status symbol by now.
I’m kinda jealous of your nice flat tummy. Even after Weight Watchers, my stomach still isn’t really flat. Of course, I just hogged down double my usual lunchtime ration of dark chocolate (stressful day at work), so I must not be too upset about it.
.-= absepa´s last blog ..A Culture of Lies =-.
Damn that Kanye! Why is he all up in everyone’s jello these days?!
My husband: Why don’t you do a nude blog?
Me: Um. Have you seen me naked lately? I’m trying to get followers, not blind people. I think they can sue you for stuff like that or ban you from blogging or burn you at the stake. No. Wait. That’s wearing white after labor day. I get so confused….
My husband: Well, could you just get naked and pretend to blog?
Me:*huge sigh* I get no respect!
Thank you for the huge giggle JD! I love your blog!
♥Spot
.-= Spot´s last blog ..Show me some blog love… =-.
That Kanye – he just can’t keep out of anyone’s bizness
*sigh*
As a goat I am all about going au natural. I am very comfortable in my own fur.
You look great.
.-= Pricilla´s last blog ..Let Us Graze =-.
Thank you for doing nude so I don’t have to. I don’t think anyone would need to see that. Kanye just keeps pissing off more and more people.
.-= Anne´s last blog ..My Neighbor Is Trying to Kill Me =-.
I’m SO glad you’re doing nude so I don’t have too. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
.-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Nerds Gone Wild: Theme Thursday #1 =-.
This? Freaking amazing.
.-= Jen @ lifelove’n'wine´s last blog ..How I came to embarrass myself in front of 500 people or the time I kind of got hit on by Bill Clinton =-.
well how dare Kayne steal your spotlight. LOL too funny.
.-= ann´s last blog ..Here comes the bride part 1 =-.
Hahaha! Too cute. I like the way you put your hair in front of you. In a lot of my senior photos I am wearing a sleeveless shirt and it looks like I have serious hairy pits because my hair was in back of me.
This post reminded of last week when my 2nd grader came home and told me “Reese showed everyone his butt and it was IN THE NUDE”
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..The Power of a Whisper =-.
Rob O.: HA! Kanye ruins everything. Sorry. Better luck next time.
Buggys: Isn’t he a pest? I looked sooo HAWT, too. Obviously, I am kidding about that part. Kanye is actually hiding all flauntage (good word!)
Unfinished Rambler: Oh, there are some women taking a longer-than-usual look, too, I can assure you!
Bingo: Oh, thank you. I think anyone looks better next to Kanye!
dcr: HA! You crack me (and my friend who was reading this over my shoulder) up. If the whole music thing doesn’t work out, Kanye knows who to see.
Daisy the Curly Cat: I’m glad you liked the beads. I felt a little too nekkid without something. I doubt if Kanye looked. I don’t think I’m very bootylicious.
Jenny, Bloggess: Ah, come to battle over your title? No? I see. Well, if Kanye says it, it must be true. But obviously he hasn’t seen you in a while.
Heather Kephart: Oh, stop it now! Honestly. Do you see me standing in profile? No. There’s a very good reason for that. Also the arms stretched overhead? Yes. Everything stretches and looks flatter. I’ll take that donut, tho, and you’d best believe I’m not wasting it on Kanye’s big ol’ head.
Jenn Thorson: “Venus” will do nicely, I think. It’s a bit more classier than “Naked JD.” I honestly do not know what’s going on with my boobs. I’ll let you in on a little secret tho: the ONLY retouching I did was to add more hair over my left boob. NOT because it was showing but because it WASN’T showing. It’s just damn weird.
Your Daily Cute: Thanks! I’m laughing too. With embarrassed horror. (I hope that breakfast didn’t come back up after all.)
Stephanie: Oh, you silly. Trust me. Baggy shorts, food-stained T-shirt, rat’s-nest hair: that’s my usual look. In fact, when my husband came home and I presented myself for his photographic skills, he asked, “Aren’t you even going to put on some makeup”?
C.b. Jones: Do I need to print a warning with every “snail” link? Oh, and trust me. Without Kanye? You would’ve seen it ALL. And then you’d really have a vision problem.
Jeff: BOOBSBOOBSBOOBSBOOBS! You men, I swear.
Jaffer: Why, thank you, my friend! I do my best.
Shieldmaiden1196: The naked stalking was probably not a pretty sight, but I assumed all my readers had probably already gone blind. You do make a good point. I’ll remember to pack everything in the next time I need to stalk.
absepa: Mmm. Dark chocolate is good for you. Also, my stomach is not that flat. See one of my responses above. The trick is the overhead arms and leaning to one side. And having Kanye’s big head blocking out all the fat that shifted to the other side.
Spot: Oh, thank you so much! I thanked Kathryn for linking to me and sending me some of her awesome readers. You know, blind people need blogs too, so that’s something to consider. Although you’d have to have some kind of Braille photograph. I don’t know how that would go over. Your husband sounds FUN! And so do you.
Pricilla: And you look extremely beautiful au natural, if I may say so. I’m sure you’d give Kanye a good head-butt if he tried to get all up in your biz.
Anne: No problem! Hey, you never know. With your boot camp neighbor, you may be nude-blog-ready sooner than you think!
CatLadyLarew: You’re very welcome. It’s actually quite freeing. Although I literally pulled off my clothes one second before the camera went off and pulled them back one second after it flashed.
Jen @ lifelove’n'wine: Your comment wins.
ann: I know. Sigh. Who knows if I’ll ever get up the nerve to do nude again.
Tracy: Well, there were two rather obvious reasons my hair needed to be in front. I bet that hairy armpit look was a real boy-catcher in high school. OMG! Not a nude BUTT???!
You little exhibitionist, you….and what is that on the reclining lady’s (ahem) lower region? That is a snail, correct? I must make the time to scroll back through your delightful (if not naughty) blog.
You’re a GODDESS, JD!
That ZUMBA is paying off!
You go, girl!
Come be my personal trainer! No, wait. We’d never get
anything done….
.-= kathryn´s last blog ..The Horror =-.
You are a brave woman, even with Kanye in there! Thanks for doing nude so I don’t have to. whew!
.-= Lin´s last blog .."Dangerous Breed" Warning =-.
that dang kanye! he is just an attention whore, camera has to be on him at all times.
and…ummm…your hair looks pretty.
hugs, when you get some clotheson
puglette
;o)
.-= Puglette´s last blog ..It’s a Party! =-.
It WOULD take a DB of Kanye’s caliber to interupt a happy naked moment.
By the way, LOVE your blog. I’ve been reading through the archives. So funny!
Girrrlll, I love you. Not in that “special” way – but you just crack me up. I can hardly wait for your next post – and every time I check in and see something new, I sit down to read like it’s an immigrants first time holding a souvenir copy of the Constitution. You always know how to make me smile – and I appreciate it. Maybe sometime I’ll tell you about the pig…then again, maybe not. xx
.-= Queen Katherine´s last blog ..A Great Giveaway! =-.
Many, many thanks for going nude so I do not have to (and never will.) I did enjoy the necklace for added visual interest.
Now can you do my laundry and mop my kitchen floor so I don’t have to? If you’re gonna do it nude, please do it while my kids are school.
Thanks in advance!
.-= cardiogirl´s last blog ..The book of questions, Volume 60 =-.
God, I don’t dare even put up a current headshot of myself on my blog, much less a nudie picture. You are everyone’s hero! You go girl. And I love Queen Katherine’s comment. Every post is a gift.
.-= Kathy´s last blog ..We Have a Winner and Another Item =-.
You look great!! But damn that dude. He’s now in Dickipedia, you know.
.-= Prefers Her Fantasy Life´s last blog ..Transformation? Sign Me Up!!! =-.
Jeez Louise, JD, what’s Dave been putting in your food?!?!
Sex games, nudity, I…I hardly know you any more. weep weep weep
It’s just that…I’m dead jealous that you have such an active sex life. There, I’ve said it. Mine is the most celibate blog on the block. No wonder I don’t have as many readers as you do.
Of course it also may be because you are a million times funnier and cleverer than I am. But the sex stuff couldn’t be hurting.
.-= Marie´s last blog ..As Time Goes By =-.
kathryn: Well, I tried to be an exhibitionist, but look what happened. Sheesh. And yes, that is indeed a snail, which is a reference to ANOTHER snail somewhere on this blog. I can’t be your personal trainer (too lazy), but if you come to Zumba with me, we’ll have a BLAST!
Lin: You’re welcome! I only wish my full nakedity could have been enjoyed by all. Too bad Kanye ruined it.
Puglette: HA! No, you don’t have to hug me when I’m naked. The hair was meant to be more utilitarian than pretty, but thank you.
Nicole: Thank you! And welcome! I’m sorry the first thing you had to see here was my semi-naked body, but it probably won’t happen again. Probably.
Queen Katherine: Oh, you’re so sweet. And I DO want to hear about the pig, believe me. Our mutual love may not be the “special” kind, but it’s very real. AWWWWW!
cardiogirl: The necklace is rather a nice touch, isn’t it? Hopefully it draws the eye away from the fact that I apparently have no boobs. I’m sorry: I’m not down with cleaning: dressed or un. But if you’ve got any cupcakes that need eating or you need someone to sleep late for you: I’m your man!
Kathy: Aw, Kathy. Thank you. And your pretty head deserves a front and center place on every blog. You know we all want your hair and beautiful eyes. (And folks: she has the best smile). So, come on, missy. Show us that pretty head. In no time you’ll be stripping down for a full-on nude shot, I guarantee.
Prefers Her Fantasy Life: There’s a DICKIPEDIA???!!!! Why have I not known this. OK, settle down. Thank you. And yes, stupid Kanye. He ruined so many important momens, but THIS? Is inexcusable.
Marie: Oh, I’m sorry! I promise: things are going to return to “normal” around here, with only the occasional nude/sex post. Please don’t cry! It has nothing to do with sex, funny, nude, or clever. People are always looking for someone to do things so they don’t have to. It’s just a service I provide. Happily.
Woo hoo, J.D.! No wonder Dave’s all into playing Sex Casino these days! It makes me want to look into a pole dancing or Zumba class…damn, now I’m angry I ate those half dozen donut holes for breakfast. Oh well, I’ll work on the bod once I win that free membership to the gym. I mean, you can’t say I’m not TRYING to work out, I did put my name in the fishbowl to be drawn…if fate wants me to work off the blubber, I’ll win…right?
.-= Patty´s last blog ..Threadless Tshirt Giveaway at jaypeeonline.net =-.
You’ll be happy to know the breakfast stayed down. I wasn’t very hungry for lunch though. (I kid, I kid…)
.-= Your Daily Cute´s last blog ..Cute Kitten is a Basketcase! =-.
Wow girl! You sure know how to get a guy out of his feed reader and over to your site in a hurry.
.-= Will´s last blog ..Sigg Bottles and BPA =-.
Awesome! You may not have been the first, but you’re the first one I’ve seen. So now I have to go see what Speedcat Hollydale did.
I love this, JD!! Good for you! Woo hoo for gettin’ nekkid!
.-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Hello, I’m T-Mach, Superhero. =-.
Will Kanye ever learn!? He’s such a douche! Congrats on losing the few pounds…hope they don’t find their way back. You know they have a habit of doing so
.-= Roschelle´s last blog ..When Your Child Lies =-.
I have been loving these Kenye tributes as I have come across them. And you have great abs, I’m so jealous.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Thank You =-.
See…that wasn’t so bad was it? Now that I know, I might just do it myself.
.-= nanodance´s last blog ..The 10 Best Things About Being In a Automobile Accident That Isn’t Your Fault (Part Two) Redux =-.
That Kanye is out of control. He is determined to ruin everyones fun. Maybe he was suggestig that Beyonce needs get some more attention instead of you?
.-= Art Brighton´s last blog ..Brighton Live =-.
Patty: Oh, you should see what I just ate for b-fast. It would make your measly donut holes look like a can of Slimfast. It only makes sense to leave the our exercise regime in the hands of fate. How can we be expected to actually go out of our own free will and WORK OUT? Ya gotta find a Zumba class. Seriously. It’s so fun, it doesn’t feel like a workout at all. DO IT!
Your Daily Cute: HA! That makes me feel better. I didn’t make you puke. Yay!
Will: Heh. But then I also know how to make him run off in nauseated terror once he arrives, too!
Margaret (Nanny Goats): Aw, thanks. You know I do it all for you guys. There’s a funny Patrick Swayze/Kanye one out there somewhere. That and Speedcat were my inspiration.
Roschele: I know. They’ve come back before. Of course, it has nothing to do with ME. I can’t stop those pounds if they want to creep back. Maybe Kanye can interrupt them.
Jen: Please don’t be jealous. Altho there was no photo manipulation, the ol’ “raise your arms over your head” trick never fails. And I have to admit not yet being tired of the Kanye “tributes.” Someday.
nanodance: It wasn’t bad at all. OK, it was a little bad. But not so bad that you shouldn’t try it, too. Go on. I dare you.
Art Brighton: Beyonce, The Bloggess . . . who knows? Kanye is going to promote his own agenda, no matter what.
Kanye is one pain in the ass…Another good one..And like the Playboy that I buy i actually read the article..What id you write about?
Is it okay to be looking at a naked, boobless woman and laughing my ass off at the same time all on a Sunday morning? Especially me, because when do I ever look at naked women, boobless or otherwise? Thanks for the chuckle.
.-= Preston´s last blog ..Reynolds Wrap Corporation – How Could Ye? =-.
OK, so where did my comment go?
I must have typed it out and forgotten to hit ‘Submit’ before leaving your blog. It was the best comment I’ve ever left on any blog too! No! I don’t remember what it was, but it was good, trust me – almost as good as your body
.-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Mum’s Daisies =-.
Excellent Idea! LOVE IT!
.-= Sara’s Whimsy´s last blog ..Sara’s Snarky Snippets =-.
Thank heavens for that! I can stop fobbing off my readers now by saying ‘I don’t have to do naked, cos JD did it for me!!’ Yay!
But – hey, wait a minute. That’s not entirely naked. You CHEATED!!
LOL!
man, that guy really is EVERYWHERE. When does he have time to actually sing, is my question
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..DING DUNG, DING DUNG =-.
Just wanted to tell you that this is–BY FAR–the most interesting premise for a blog I have come across. Ever. No joke. The jealousy that I feel for you and this collection of writing is reaching dramatic heights at this very moment. I may need to step outside for some air…
But really, keep up the TERRIFIC work. You’ve officially been added to my weekly (maybe even daily?) reading schedule.
.-= Shaky Jake´s last blog ..Rodney Dangerfield Visits a Coldstone Creamery. =-.
Wow! You actually posted nude for this blog…exciting! Now I am thinking of doing my own version. Hehhehe!
Kanye must have lost half of life he has not yet visited this blog to see you posting nude.
.-= elmot´s last blog ..Noynoy Aquino, People Power III and Coffee =-.
MegaMan the Madman: Eh, never mind the written part. It’s all about the nude. Tho let me assure you that usually ISN’T the case around here.
Preston: Yes, it’s perfectly okay! ESPECIALLY for you, because, as you say, when DO you ever look at naked, boobless women—except to laugh your ass off? Enjoy!
babs – beetle: Oh, poo! I don’t know where it went! It’s not in my spam folder. I hate it when that happens. And are you quite sure it was almost as good as my body? I guess we’ll never know.
Sara’s Whimsy: Thank you! And welcome!
Jay: I swear: I am totally naked and totally non-Photoshopped. It’s Kanye! He ruined everything. You can still fob off your readers, tho. This is as naked as it’s gonna get.
Jessica: “Sing”? Is that what he calls it? I have to say, I’ve never really heard a Kanye “song.” I guess I just proved your point.
Shaky Jake: Wow, thank you! And welcome to I Do Things. Hey, everyone: go check out PopFarce! It’s new and it’s funny. And, no, I’m not just saying that ‘cuz I’m on the blogroll. THEY HAVE ICE CREAM!
elmot: Yes, I actually posted nude. Enjoy it, for it will never happen again. If the real Kanye wants to visit, I’m all for it. Just don’t interrupt me again.
HaHa loove the Kanye interpretation at the end.
Chelsea: Yup. Good ol’ Kanye gotta git up in everbody’s bizz.
Hey, just dropped by and sorry, didn’t mean to catch you all nekkid and stuff
Yet another thing I’m glad you are out there doing for us. You’re definitely better at this one than a lot of us.
.-= Tim´s last blog ..I’m Getting Too Old For This Sh*t =-.
Nudie,eh? You’ve got me!You sure do have guts LOL
LOL. okay well this is one thing i’m actually glad you did for me. someone said i dress like i weigh 300lbs, always in dark colors. i have a body complex, so thank you.
darn that kanye and his big head self. he has a very big ego, ya know.
.-= natural´s last blog ..The Psychology of Hair =-.
Tim: I dunno. I mean, thanks and everything, but it sure didn’t turn out the way I hoped it would. You should’ve seen the non-Kanye photo. It was AWESOME!
belajaran: I have guts and they are on full display! Enjoy my guts!
natural: Yes, I know. His ego is blocking my . . . er, hair. Anyway, I know you are nowhere near 300 lbs, so break out the pink, purple, and neon green! Don’t let Kanye ruin YOUR fun!