Oh, say, can you see
My eyes—if you can
Then my hair’s too short

Yo, I didn’t cut it myself. A nice guy named Tony cut it. 5 inches! 5 pounds!

Here’s the before picture:

photo courtesy of www.addamsfamily.com

AH HA HA HA HA! I’m kidding. Here’s the real before picture:

Yikes! That looks like the scary Grudge girl. Here, quick, before you run and hide under your bed:


Phew. That’s better. Nothing like a jaunty bow to dispel grudge-girl fears.

To be honest with you, Cousin Itt scares me a lot more than those Japanese long-haired grudge-bearing girls who climb out of wells or out of your TV all covered in slime TO KILL YOU . . .

(comes out from under the bed)

Anyway, here’s the after shot:

HA! I’m STILL messing witchya! That’s me, compliments of Taaz.com, a cool site where you can make over your drab, everyday self. My current hair, despite being 5 inches shorter, is still about 20 feet longer than this style. But I like short hair. Here’s me with short blonde hair. And green eyes! And makeup! (And a manly jaw. Where did that come from?)

Here’s what I would look like as a transsexual drag queen:

Sadly, there were no options available to look like a Japanese horror grudge-girl.

But! Check this out. If you like scary Japanese movies about girls with long, black hair, here’s one about KILLER HAIR EXTENSIONS! No, I am totally serious. Watch the kick-your-ass-in-half trailer. It’s a parody, but there are some disturbing (read: COOL!) images. After you watch this, you’ll want to cut your hair immediately.

If you want to cut your hair
If you’re not happy with your haircut
If you want to watch some really good Asian horror flicks

_____________________________

Shave and a haircut: 2 bits

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44 Comments


44 Responses to “I Cut My Hair”

  1. 1 Singular Girl

    I’m digging the transsexual drag queen look personally. I always try to leave the house with a least an inch of blue eyeshadow and cherry pink cheeks. It really helps me in my line of work- soliciting. Soliciting donations, that is.

    Singular Girl’s last blog post..You Don’t Have To Put On The Red Light

  2. 2 Tiggy

    I wish I’d tried that before visiting my hairdresser. they always think they can ‘do’ something with my mop, despite my protestations.

    Y’know, one day I’d really like to leave a hairdressers and not be in tears? It’s a dream, I know.

    Tiggy’s last blog post..I Wanna Be A Hooters Girl!

  3. 3 Shieldmaiden96

    LOVE THE QUOTE!!

    Down to here
    Down to there
    Down to where it stops by itself……

    I know every song to that show. Every song.

    Shieldmaiden96′s last blog post..Love Guns and Donut Runs

  4. 4 dcr

    I guess it’s a real good thing I’m not a woman. I’ve had the same hairstyle since the 7th grade. Men can just pick one and stick with it. As Forrest Gump (movie version) would say, “One less thing…”

    dcr’s last blog post..Blue Monday

  5. 5 dcr

    And, what is up with your CommentLuv plugin? It’s grabbing old posts…

    dcr’s last blog post..Fattening My Blogging Empire

  6. 6 dcr

    Okay, now it’s good. I guess it was just messin’ with me. Let’s see what it picks this time around. This is kind of like the blog link Wheel of Fortune. Let’s give the wheel a spin…

    dcr’s last blog post..Fattening My Blogging Empire

  7. 7 Babs - beetle

    Oh, that video gave me the eeby geebies! Hair coming out of the eyes! Eurghhh! Now where is the real photo of you before and after? I shall do the hair thing later ;O)

    Babs – beetle’s last blog post..Another painfull experience!

  8. 8 Fancy

    I’m glad I read this, I am so sick of my hair, I’m ready to shave my head!

    Fancy’s last blog post..Puppy mills

  9. 9 The Hawg

    I like the bow. Love the bow.

    Think I’ll stick a bow on the back of my wife’s head.

    Wonder how hard she’ll hit me…

    The Hawg’s last blog post..This time around, beating up on a pack of scrubs may actually mean something

  10. 10 Cathouse Teri

    You are so funny!

    Cathouse Teri’s last blog post..A Person’s A Person, No Matter How Small

  11. 11 Jeff

    It takes a lot of talent to take a picture of yourself from behind. Are your shoulders double-jointed?

    Jeff’s last blog post..Take a walk on the wild side

  12. 12 Susan

    JD, would you Yearbook Yourself (www.yearbookyourself.com) so that I don’t have to??

    Susan’s last blog post..Photohunt: Wrinkled

  13. 13 chat blanc

    I get scared at the thought of cutting 5 inches off my hair so I’m super glad you did it! I fear short hair. Can’t do it.

    chat blanc’s last blog post..I don’t need no stinkin’ sleep

  14. 14 Regan

    OMG! It’s so pretty! I like it. =) Next, you should go bald in real life! Then you can wear fun, various wigs!

  15. 15 Kathy

    I love your long luxurious hair! I don’t have that myself. I always thought I had Nancy hair (of Nancy and Sluggo cartoon fame). It’s sad. I know.

    I hate it when the women sitting next to me at the salon tell me how they love my curls. They don’t realize what a curse it is. Do you think if I wore a bow on it, it’d look any better?

    Kathy, who wants the five inches of hair you got cut off.

    Kathy’s last blog post..Anyone Need a Hug?

  16. 16 JD

    Singular Girl: I rather like that look myself. It’s pretty much how I look whenever I try to apply anything more than Dr. Pepper chapstick. Hey, good luck with that donations job!

    Tiggy: Never give up your dream. It’s just as possible as becoming a Hooters Girl, right?

    Shieldmaiden96: Me too!!! Loved the soundtrack when I was a kid (“Mom? What does ‘sodomy’ mean?”) and I loved the remake. I even love the Cowsills’ version. “Hallelujah, Mary loved her son, Why don’t my mother love me?”

    dcr: Are you saying you’re not the least bit tempted to try a makeover? Come on. I bet you’d look stunning in a platinum blond beehive! As for CommentLuv: yes, sigh. It does that sometimes. Remember the instructions: “…will try and parse your sites feed and display a link…” It’s trying!

    Babs – beetle: Well, that second “before” photo is real. And it is the front view. I planned to take an “after” photo but forgot. So, the photo of me on my Toronto post will have to do. Yes, PLEASE do a hair makeover and post the results!!!

    Fancy: SHAVE IT! For me? I would so love to shave my head, but then my husband would divorce me, and who would want a bald divorcee? But you could do it . . .

    The Hawg: Try sticking on the front (that’s where mine is) and see how mad she gets THEN!

    Cathouse Teri: Aw, thanks. It’s all about the hair.

    Jeff: Heh. No, that is actually a FRONT view. Not so talented now, am I?

    Susan: I tried, but I couldn’t get my fat face to fit into the face hole! It looks fun tho . . .

    chat blanc: I used to have a 12-year-old boy haircut, and I loved it. My face is probably too fat now to pull it off. Maybe I should lay off the M&Ms?

    Regan: See, you get me. I would love to wear fun, various wigs. You wait. One of these days . . .

    Kathy: A bow couldn’t hurt. And you do not have Nancy hair! I’ve TOUCHED it! It’s curly and beautiful. I wish I’d saved the 5 inches (and 5 lbs.), especially since no one believes I got that much cut off.

  17. 17 Tim

    I never realized how scary hair could be…
    If I ever see it coming out of someone’s eyes, I’ll remember your post and smile :)

    Tim’s last blog post..Giving Away Our Very First Redneck Beer Gift Basket!

  18. 18 NaTuRaL

    hahaha, i love your before picture. i was really hoping to see this picture though: Japanese horror grudge-girl. I need a makeover and that look was top on my list. such of life, JD!

    i do need a haircut, this stuff is doing a donald trump and laying to the side and uninterested.

    NaTuRaL’s last blog post..Doggone, Grandma

  19. 19 Bill Libbey

    Thanks for putting a bow in your hair so I don’t have to. And for trying the transexual drag queen look so I don’t have to.

    Could you pay my bills so I don’t have to?

  20. 20 Ernie

    It’s funny you should mention haircuts. Recently one of my Facebook Friends was complaining about the cost of a haircut. Being the good friend that I am, I offered to tie her to a chair and shave off all of her hair for her. The only payment I asked for in return was to be allowed to keep the hair. She never responded. But hey, I’ll do the same for you if you ever want.

    Ernie’s last blog post..Mmmm…very tasty

  21. 21 Babs - beetle

    I’ve done a couple. I’ll post them soon ;O)

    Babs – beetle’s last blog post..Another painfull experience!

  22. 22 Luxor

    How did you know my mom really needed a haircut??? It’s amazing!

    Love the transsexual drag queen look! :)

    Luxor’s last blog post..Frootbat and Finally Friday

  23. 23 JD

    Tim: Aw, that’s sweet. I’d love to be remembered that way. I just put that movie at the top of my Netflix queue. Review (and screenshots!) coming soon.

    NaTuRaL: Yeah, I was disappointed that wasn’t an option. Maybe it isn’t a popular look? Hard to believe. You crack ME up, with your Donald Trump hair laying to the side, uninterested. That’s funny.

    Bill Libbey: I see it’s time to update my “I Won’t Do These Things” list. But I’m more than happy to try out the transsexual drag queen look. I may do it again!

    Ernie: Boy, your Facebook friend doesn’t know a good deal when she hears it. I’d have trouble giving up my hair, tho. What if you practice voodoo? Being tied to a chair and having my head shaved? I have no problem with that.

    Babs – beetle: Ooh! Can’t wait!

    Luxor: I hope your mom will try out a virtual haircut first—especially the tranny drag queen look. I think it works for everyone!

  24. 24 Stephanie in KY

    Aw, don’t leave us hangin’ without the “after” photo! I finally made the big leap about this time last year and cut off ALL of my hair. After 37 years of crazy, super-thick, frizzy, curly mop (think early-career Nicole Kidman), it was SUCH a relief to get rid of it. Now it’s kind of a pixie cut, boy-short (shorter than my husband’s), and it’s so easy. And much cooler, particularly during humidity season here in the South. So, I guess you could say that I cut off all my hair so you wouldn’t have to!

  25. 25 brooke regans friend

    ahhhh its the grude chick o wait its you whew and the make up is lovely

  26. 26 kev

    Wow, that’s a lot of hair. I probably use too much shampoo as it is, but I’m pretty sure if my hair was that long I’d go through a bottle a week. Maybe two.

    Thank goodness I’m a guy (and not a member of a 80s Hair Band)…

    kev’s last blog post..Friday Four: Being Single Isn’t So Bad

  27. 27 JD

    Stephanie in KY: I meant to take an “after” photo but forgot. I was very happy with the cut, tho. I’m envious of your short haircut! I bet it looks cute. Thanks for doing that, tho I wish I could!

    brooke regans friend: Did I scare you? Which was scarier—grudge girl or the makeup?

    kev: My secret? Don’t wash it! Seriously, tho, I use too much shampoo as it is. And it takes forever to wash it. I probably could be in an 80s hair band if I just did a little ratting and teasing.

  28. 28 dcr

    My aunt had a beehive hairdo many, many years ago. I think if one family member had one, that’s close enough for me, so I’m good.

    dcr’s last blog post..The Tila Tequila is Naked eBook, or Wherein I Rant About Comment Spam

  29. 29 The Incredible Woody

    I have wasted the entire afternoon at Taaz.com!! I think I look pretty good with green contacts…

  30. 30 JT

    The last time, I actually let someone cut my hair, she butchered it so badly, I was almost in tears. So then I had to go see someone else to get if fixed, and the first lady had butchered it so badly, I ended getting it all cut off to about an inch long. That was 2 1/2 years ago, and I have been very careful ever since then to only get in lightly trimmed. It’s finally reached my shoulders, and by god, if anything happens to it this time, I will unleash hell and hurt that person beyond all belief.
    ~Sigh~ I’ve always dreamed of having waist length hair, and maybe by the time I reach 80, it will happen. Then I’ll die! :)

    JT’s last blog post..TGIF!

  31. 31 Corrina

    You are one smokin’ drag queen! I’m going to that site right now!

    Corrina’s last blog post..Are You Kidding Me?

  32. 32 JD

    dcr: OK, you’re off the hook . . . BARELY!

    The Incredible Woody: Isn’t it fun? And you can really see what type of makeup looks good and then go out and BUY it. If you wear makeup. I think I look kind of scary with green contacts myself. You should totally post your TAAZ!

    JT: Oh, the traumatic, tear-filled hairdresser visit. Haven’t we all had at least one of those? Yours sounds awful—I don’t blame you for being scissor-shy. I believe you will reach your goal of waist-length hair. YOU CAN DO IT!

    Corrina: You’re gonna have a blast! I want to see your best drag queen look!

  33. 33 Alvin

    Oh I so love Japanese horror flicks especially Takashi Miike’s blockbuster ‘Audition’ where this Asian cat played by Eddie Albert takes an offer to screen girls at a special audition, arranged for him by a friend to find him a new wife. The one he fancies is not who she appears to be. But he marries her anyway and they leave the city to live on a farm. Once there they meet an orphaned neighbor named Eb. Eb soon decides this Asian cat is his father and all hell breaks loose. And right when things really get wonky this handy man – Mr Haney played by Pat Buttram – seems to show up just at the right time and over-charges them for everything that they may need to fix the wonkiness at hand.

    Of course when things seem bleakest Hank Kimble always shows up and confuses everyone right out of their sad quandary. And that adorable little pig, Arnold, oh we was a riot.

    The film was so successful that the actors moved to Los Angeles and pitched the show as an American sitcom in late 1965.

    Gotta run… need to check out that drag queen setting.

    Alvin’s last blog post..Ariance and Me.

  34. 34 Bobo

    Ok that is pretty funny, good sense of humor, keep it up!!

    Bobo’s last blog post..Icebreaker Body Fit 150 Boxer Brief mens

  35. 35 jean

    whoa! you got me in those pics! they look real! i might try it myself. LoL

    jean’s last blog post..Missing the other boys in my life…

  36. 36 JD

    Alvin: Audition is AMAZING! Your synopsis is not quite the way I remember it, however. Your version sounds way funnier and like it has fewer needles-to-the-eyeballs scenes.

    Let us know how the drag queen picture turns out!

    Bob: Thanks!

    Jean: It’s a fun site. I actually get to see what I look like with makeup!

  37. 37 Florida Girl In Sydney

    Those pictures were seriously hilarious. You should bring those pictures into a salon and tell them you want to look like this….(present photos now).

    Florida Girl In Sydney’s last blog post..Hormonal Nighmares

  38. 38 JD

    Florida Girl in Sydney: Why, thank you. Yes, I’d love to see what a hairdresser would do if confronted by the drag queen/Farrah Fawcett do.

  39. 39 fracas

    I like the darker hair color on you!

    The transexual look… not so much. I’m awfully glad you did that so I don’t have to.

    fracas’s last blog post..Sarah Palin’s Bikini Photo Controversy… Proof Right Here!

  40. 40 JD

    fracas: Why, thank you! I’ve often thought of going darker, but I’m too chicken to color my hair. As for the transsexual look, I’m not too chicken for that!

  41. 41 GHD

    Thanks for sharing the links to the virtual hairdressing. I’d never seen those before!

  42. 42 JD

    GHD: Pretty cool, eh?

  43. 43 The source

    So, where's the real after picture? haha i guess you are scared :P

  44. 44 Erica

    Have you ever considered donating your hair to Locks of Love. They use the hair to make wigs for sick children who have lost theirs. I think it needs to be a certain length tho. :)
    Erica´s last blog post ..Their Work- Our Food – A Fair Trade


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