Who’s this friendly fellow?
I was hoping you could tell me.
You know those flyers you get from landscaping companies? They get shoved in your door and inevitably fall off, littering your yard, so that more landscaping companies are attracted to your poor ugly lawn and stick more flyers in your door?
Usually I just pluck the flyer from the door (or yard) and think no more of it. I landscape my own yard, thanks anyway, altho my definition of landscaping may differ slightly from yours.
But yesterday Dave showed me a flyer he’d brought inside. The name of the company is unimportant. All you need to know is that their mascot is, apparently, that creature pictured at the top.
“Look at this. What the heck is that thing?”
I glanced at it, laughed for one second, and was ready to forget about it until Dave said, “You could blog about it.”
Suddenly it was the funniest thing in the world. I spent way too much time thinking about it. What was it? A turtle? A lizard? A frog? It’s a frog, right? But why a frog? What does a frog have to do with landscaping? Are his webbed feet especially good at picking up leaves? But why would that matter, if he’s got a leaf-blower? Seriously, if I call this company, is a giant frog going to appear at my door? The name of the company has nothing to do with frogs or lizards. There is simply no good reason for this creature to be pictured on a landscaping flyer.
I had troubling dreams that night about frogs and turtles overtaking my yard, first in their normal form and then walking on their hind legs and . . . smiling.
We were still talking about it the next day.
“It’s not clip art. Why would anyone make clip art of a reptile performing yardwork?”
“My theory is that the owner’s daughter drew this thing, and her dad was so proud he felt he had to use it as his company’s mascot.”
“And now you’re going to make fun of it on your blog.”
“Hmmm. Still, it’s better this kid finds out sooner rather than later. This is the way of the world. Draw a creepy frog-lizard, and people are going to make fun of it—and you—for the rest of your life.”
Am I right? You can’t draw something like this and expect to escape unscathed.
The only thing the flyer is lacking is a motto. If you can help me come up with an appropriate motto to connect the frog-creature to landscaping, maybe we can save this little girl’s psyche. Otherwise? I’m sorry, kiddo. Stick to lopsided hearts and crooked stars. Your mascot days are over.