Apparently homeless people are eating better than we thought.
I recently ate at one of those places that serve you your breakfast in a skillet. Remember when skillet breakfasts didn’t exist? You just got your eggs and potatoes on a plate and you were happy. NOW you get all that PLUS other stuff . . . in a skillet!
Typically, skillet breakfasts fall into such categories as Denver, Mexican, and Vegetable. Fine. Those labels all make sense to me. But as I looked over the menu at this restaurant, I saw, to my confusion:
In terms of categorizing, wouldn’t you lump these two together? I’m not equating Gypsies with hoboes, by the way. They’re NOT the same thing. But both terms connote a certain carefree lifestyle, at least to a general menu reader.
I went with the Gypsy Skillet that day, but as soon as I got home, I checked out the online menu of what I consider to be the creator of skillet breakfasts: Le Peep. What I found only added to my confusion:
Drifter, Desperado, Wanderer, Hobo, Gypsy, Nomad
Why are skillet breakfasts synomymous with homeless people? I know, hoboes and nomads and such have to be creative and cobble together an interesting meal with disparate ingredients, but the Desperado has chorizo sausage. FANCY! And the Wanderer has bacon. Since when do homeless people get bacon? I want bacon!
And then there’s the issue of the skillet. If I were a desperado, I wouldn’t want to carry a skillet around with me everywhere. It’s different with Gypsies, I suppose, because they travel in caravans. But a wanderer? Wandering around with a skillet and a knapsack full of Peasant Potatoes™?
According to Le Peep’s menu, you can downgrade from a Drifter to a Hobo by settling for onions only. Since when is a drifter better than a hobo? Hoboes have that whole “King of the Road” vibe going on, but a drifter is someone who shows up at your back door with dirty fingernails and a twitching leg. And possibly a skillet.
From now on, I think I’ll just get an omelet.