I’ve bought some very cool stuff online recently. I got beautiful artwork from Kelly at Aerten Art, a kickass pair of Zumba shoes, and . . . pills! (link deleted) Yup, drugs by mail! That’s the way I roll.
Recently I made a rather ill-advised purchase (I was not on drugs). But I think you’ll understand why it was so irresistable.
Remember my Lucky Charms obsession, which compelled me to find the perfect charm-to-cereal ratio? Well, some brilliant reader named Punk Rebel Mama (link is somewhat NSFW—there are NIPPLES!) told me about this site where, in addition to cars, you can actually buy . . .
. . . CEREAL MARSHMALLOWS!
Yeah! Just the marshmallows! No pesky cereal to get in the way. So, in the interest of science and blogging, I shelled out $10.95 plus shipping to see how cereal marshmallows could improve my life.
The packaging was uninspiring, the colors a bit faded, and as for shapes . . . well, these are just blobs. No lucky moons or pink hearts.
But that’s OK. I’m about to realize my lifelong dream of eating a bowlful of cereal marshmallows:
HA! I’m kidding. I’m not completely crazy. First, I make a cereal base of Rice Krispies:
And then I apply the marshmallows:
Hmmm.That looks exactly like the bowl with only marshmallows. Funny.
Chomp, chomp, chomp. These definitely aren’t like Lucky Charm marshmallows. For one, where is the overwhelming sugary flavor? Something’s wrong if my teeth don’t hurt. And the texture is stupid. They’re either stale or extremely chewy.
These marshmallows suck, but I’ll at least eat this bowlful. For you.
Meanwhile, I still have approximately two and 3/4 bags left. I hate to waste perfectly good cereal marshmallows. There must be other uses for such a product?
Perhaps . . .
Crap! They’re actually eating them! Stop it! Prudence, I expected this of you, but Gus? I thought you had more sense.
(Prudence’s head is a blur because she moves like lightning any time ANY kind of food is within sniffing distance.)
OK, I can’t feed these to my cats. Not only is it unhealthy, but the ones they managed to eat before I snatched them away seemed to stick to their teeth.
What else can I do . . .
Pretend they’re candy?
A surprise for the postman?
A surprise for Dave?
A crappy prize in a future blog contest?
Part of a craft project?
OK, now here is where you guys come in. I may do all these things so you don’t have to, but I NEED your help practically ALL the time! What can I do with these damn cereal marshmallows???
Don’t buy anything from these guys.