I Bought a Bumpits

She had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton
Back in 1965

beehive

It’s Bumpits! The famous as-seen-on-TV “hair volumizing leave-in inserts!

(Careful. When you visit the Bumpits site, a loud voice tells you that “Bumpits is PUMPING UP the volume!” That may be your cue to turn your volume off.)

Anyway, for the two of you who haven’t heard about this fashion trend, Bumpits is a curvey comb device that allows your hair to “go from flat to fabulous in seconds!”

What the hell does that mean? Well, you know how those ladies from the ’60s had those big hair-bumps? That look was attained through lots of teasing and hairspray. With Bumpits, you can forget about the teasing (but not the hairspray . . . or the teasing, now that I read the fine print).

Basically you stick one of these Bumpits (3 sizes and four colors!) into the back of your head, comb your hair over it, and layer your hair with an inch-thick coat of hairspray. Cool!

The coolest part? I bought a Bumpits.

Seriously! I shelled out $10 for a freaking Bumpits, JUST to try it out for YOU (and me). Because I know you’re not gonna go out and buy a Bumpits. It’s just too embarrassing.

Bumpits-pills-candy-bar

It’s WAY too embarrassing to buy JUST a Bumpits. Get some chocolate and muscle relaxers too.


before-and-after

This smiling model shows you the “before” (FLAT!) and “after” (FABULOUS!)


20091022_8

Behold the Bumpits! You also get a how-to brochure and a stylin’ comb!

(Look at that mini-Bumpit. Who would use that? Seriously, it’s the size of an infant’s pinkie cut in half.)

Anyway, enough of this silliness. I know what you want. And here it comes.


JD: Before Bumpits

sad-flat-jd_2

“JD! What’s wrong? You look so sad . . . and flat-headed.”
“I wish I had one of those cool hair-bumps like you see on movie stars.”
“Is that why you look so blurry?”
“No, I was just Photoshopping out my wrinkles.”
“I see.”


JD: After Bumpits

jd-with-bumpits_2

WOW! My new Bumpits has changed my whole appearance. I’m happier and more lipsticky! It’s kinda of hard to see the hair-bump, tho. I played around a bit more . . .


JD: Not Quite Getting the Bumpits

20091022_5

I see London
I see France
I see JD’s Bumpits . . . pants?

Yeah. Despite my weirdly artificial smile, it’s almost impossible to fix your hair so the Bumpits doesn’t show.

Finally . . .


JD: After Bumpits and a Little Help

jd-with-extra-bumpit

Voila? OK, I’ll admit. It took some extra pins, rope, and Krazy Glue to create the hair-bump of my dreamz. I don’t know WHAT it looked like from behind. Also it fell over immediately after I took this photo.

Bumpits: Yea or Nay?

I’m sorry. It’s a “nay.” It was too hard to get the comb in place AND to get the hair to cover it. And I have a lot of hair.

The insert never felt very secure, either. How embarrassing would it be to have your Bumpits fall out at a fancy party? “Oh, that’s just a barrette,” you’d nervously say, trying to shove it into your purse. “NO IT’S NOT IT’S A BUMPITS!” everyone would shriek, and BANG! now you’re a pariah AND your hair is flat AND you know what else?

I can’t read the word “bumpits” without thinking of a bum’s armpits.

Oh, well. At least I have a free comb.

__________________________________

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81 Comments


81 Responses to “I Bought a Bumpits”

  1. 1 Jaffer

    Haha – those ads they show here on TV are so darn annoying – just like that Cash Guy’s.

    I’ll abstain from voting – I’m going to get a haircut right now ! Bye ! :-)
    .-= Jaffer´s last blog ..Monday for meeting… tuesday for talking… =-.

  2. 2 Jeff

    Or you could use those stale taco shells in your cupboard. And if they fall out you can claim, “Hey… that’s where my taco went!” and eat it, you know, so you weren’t embarrassed.
    .-= Jeff´s last blog ..So WHO exactly is trained here? =-.

  3. 3 Jen @ lifelove'n'wine

    Hahaha, love this post. I could never do the Bumpit. I know that i have flat hair, but I also know that my Bumpit would end up falling out or peeking through at the worst possible time.
    .-= Jen @ lifelove’n'wine´s last blog ..The Kid’s Bringing Home the Bacon…err…Turkey =-.

  4. 4 absepa

    I wish I had read your warning about the sound on the Bumpits site before it yelled at me. :) Thanks for showing us the REAL results of the Bumpits. Are they really that popular, though? I don’t see very many women sporting that tall hairdo–it seems like most of the young, trendy types I know are still into long, straight, sleek hair. Maybe I should pay more attention the next time I go to the mall.
    .-= absepa´s last blog ..So what is Eeyore, a werewolf? =-.

  5. 5 Grace

    What I love about the commercial was that it was obviously produced about 20+ years ago, or maybe more. Between the clothes, make-up and hairstyles, it certainly was not done any time in THIS century. According to the tv commercial the tiny ones are to be used with your bangs(????).
    .-= Grace´s last blog ..So shoot me! =-.

  6. 6 Spot

    Hahahaha. Love it. Sadly, I have to report that in small town mid-America those poufy hair-dos are actually worn. And once I asked the girl if she was wearing a bump-it. (If you’d like to be mistaken for a crazy person, ask someone that. Seriously. I thought she was gonna call the psych ward). Personally, I don’t know why anyone would want their hair to pouf up like that. It’s unnatural. And makes me wonder what they are hiding in there…car keys, spare change, snacks, weapons of mass destruction?

    Thank you JD for trying this for me. Now I don’t have to buy any of those for anyone for xmas. Could you do the SlapChop next? Because I kinda want one of those…

    ♥Spot
    .-= Spot´s last blog ..The Pantry Ghost… =-.

  7. 7 dcr

    I was disappointed they didn’t have a beehive Bumpit. Maybe if you stack them on top of each other, you could do a beehive. Maybe that’s what the little one is for.

    Maybe the Bumpit works best when you grow your hair really long, then you can wrap it around a few times to cover it up.

    I’m surprised you didn’t try putting the Bumpit on the other way, parallel instead of perpendicular to your head. I bet you could do a really wicked mohawk with that big one! Or, again, stack ‘em up and have a really tall mohawk.

    And, they wouldn’t fall over if you used a little Superglue…
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..LOST Finale Revealed and That’s All Folks! =-.

  8. 8 Daisy the Curly Cat

    So, it is sort of like a padded bra for the hair? My Mommeh once had a Topsy-Tail for making inside-out ponytails.
    .-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..Fashion Friday: Halloween Harley =-.

  9. 9 Puglette

    thank you for trying this product for me. as a woman with thin, light blond hair i was sure those things would stick out like a literal sore thumb on my head! i think to get the best effect with the bumpits you would have to have someone put them in for you.

    it’s a good thing you do not need extra volume for your hair. your hair always looks so nice and full. and maybe the baby bumpit is for your pets…pru would look sweet with a bumpit!
    have a great weekend.
    puglette
    :o)

    oh…ollie says the feeling is moochual. (said in the madeline kahn accent in young frankenstein)
    .-= Puglette´s last blog ..Agility Fun =-.

  10. 10 Tracy

    Hehehe, I think you only need a bumpits if you want “Utah Hair”. A person from Utah taught me that so I think it’s okay to say.

    Me, I’m cynical about all hair doodads ever since the LIE that was the Crimper.
    .-= Tracy´s last blog ..A Whole Brave New World =-.

  11. 11 Monique Renae

    rofl.

    Sadly, even though you couldn’t quite get it to work right, you looked 10x better than some of those girls on the commercials.

    I find it so hard to believe that anyone would purposely want 99% of the hairdo’s they show.

    Thank you for doing this because my friends and I were so tempted to try it ourselves just to see how crazy it was. LOL.
    .-= Monique Renae´s last blog ..Omg. Shoot Me. =-.

  12. 12 Stephanie Barr

    Since getting volume in my hair is not my problem (if I washed my hair daily I’d look like I had a 22″ afro), I can safely say I was never tempted to try it. Like Spot, I don’t get WHY you’d want your hair to be bumped up (and, according to my teenager, stick-straight hair that all but covers the face is still “in”).

    In fact, most of the hair doohickeys out there look stupid and or unappealing to me, but I have to admit I tried one that I really like and have used repeatedly, those elastic hair combs like the hairzing.

    I also like those hair sticks, just the sticks themselves. I’ve been known to use colorful chopsticks in my hair, actually.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..For Julia: Romance =-.

  13. 13 Bingo

    Ha ha ha very funny, I can`t stop laughing! I prefer hair extensions, they are a little bit expensive but your hair looks awesome.
    .-= Bingo´s last blog ..How to make a perfect Halloween pumpkin =-.

  14. 14 CatLadyLarew

    Did they make your hair smell like a bum’s armpits?
    .-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Oh, Shit! =-.

  15. 15 JD

    Jaffer: Be sure to ask if they carry Bumpits. You could start a new trend! Bumpits for men!

    Jeff: They DO look like taco shells, don’t they? And I DO have some stale taco shells in my cabinet. Hmmm. I could’ve saved myself a lot of money. Plus, right. I wouldn’t be at ALL embarrassed if a taco fell out of my hair and I started eating it. Dang.

    Jen @ lifelove’n'wine: You’re not the only one, I’m afraid. I don’t know what to suggest to make this product work (because we really DO need a good hair-bump device). Maybe the Bumpits people will see this post and go back to the drawing board.

    absepa: I don’t know what the trends are. For me, big hair has never gone out of style. I tried that straight sleek look, tho, and looked like a fat-faced freak. I really can’t see this being very popular, especially when the straigh look is so easy.

    Grace: Oh, thank you for clearing up the purpose of the mini Bumpits. Obviously I did not make it thru the entire commercial, but I saw enough to realize it was NOT made last week. I wonder what went wrong—why was the campaign shelved for 20 years? It’s a Bumpits mystery.

    Spot: You know, when I went looking for the Bumpits, I couldn’t find it right away, and I was almost going to settle for the ShamWow or SlapChop. So it’s very possible that either of those is in my future. I love that you actually asked someone if she was wearing a Bumpits. HA! I guess I like unnatural hair, tho it does depend. And I would LOVE to be able to store things in my hair-bump. How handy!

    dcr: THEY DO! My post was already too long to include the different styles shown in the brochure, but you can do a French twist, a beehive, and an updo. I didn’t try any of those. And that Mohawk idea is intriguing . . .

    Daisy the Curly Cat: Yes, exactly! It give you a little “oomph” right where you need it most: the top of your head. I remember Topsy-Tails. I could never get them to work.

    Puglette: Thank you for being so sweet (as you always are). I think I’ll try the mini-Bumpit on Pru. She has somewhat long-ish fur, and she’d look cute with a kitty bouffant. Maybe I’ll get my mom to style my hair this weekend. I think you’re right that the Bumpit is a 2-person job.

    Tracy: Oh, the CRIMPER! You must tell us all about it. It sounds scary, like the Mangler. Was it like the Mangler? Anyway, I never knew about “Utah Hair,” but I’ve got a good idea what it is, now.

    Monique Renae: You and your friends should STILL try it. Just be sure to wear face masks, because the amount of hairspray you need could asphyxiate you.

    Stephanie Barr: OK, so we have an authority on the stick-straight hair. I guess I’m totally out of it. But I’ve always loved the 60s styles, and if you clicked on the link in the middle of my post, you’ll see the look I’m going for. I’d LOVE to look like that! Those elastic hair combs look cute, but I can never keep hair sticks in my hair.

    Bingo: I’ve never ever tried hair extensions. Well, unless you count the fake pony tail that comes thru the hole of a baseball cap.

    CatLadyLarew: HA! No, there was no detectable odor, thanks for asking!

  16. 16 Shieldmaiden1196

    I just saw these in the dollar store today and concluded a completely wrong impression of what they were for, looking from the ‘flat to fabulous’ statementto the peek of the model’s decolletage and wondering why they’d put a ‘pre-fabulous’ picture on the front of the box. I stood and stared awhile and then said, “OH. Its the HAIR.”

    Its been a long week.
    .-= Shieldmaiden1196´s last blog ..Interlude: My Favorite Intense Dollar Store Employee =-.

  17. 17 ann

    I’ve passed the bumpits in the dollar store cringe every time. It takes me back to those awful days when my mother wore her hair in the beehive. I don’t want to look like my mother, so thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for doing this.
    .-= ann´s last blog ..What I meant to do yesterday =-.

  18. 18 Lin

    I wondered how much hair it would take to cover that beast. I guess if YOU don’t have enough hair, nobody will. Sigh. So much for hope of big hair.

    Uh, do they sell bumpits for your boobs, cuz I could totally use some lift there.
    .-= Lin´s last blog ..Livin’ La Vida Hobos =-.

  19. 19 Regan

    I don’t think I will ever try a BUMPIT. Hairspray and teasing definitely would still be a huge part. Hairspray to keep it in place, and people would just tease you for buying BUMPIT in the first place. Well, at least at my school.

  20. 20 kathryn

    OMYGOD, OMYGOD, OMYBUMPITGOD! LMAO…..Oh, JD…you have OUTDONE yourself with this one!

    The before photo? Okay…roll out of bed much? Or was that you after playing with Gus & Pru?

    And speaking of Pru, I do believe that was her butt in that last shot, for your haircolor was suspiciously similar to hers in the back where the BUMPIT was “allegedly” placed.

    The after photo: LOVED the addition of the SCARF….that air of sophistocation one can only achieve whilst wearing said BUMPIT.
    And…you look so…surprised…by the change in your appearance.

    By the time you got to the BUMPIT that was half-in and half-out, I’d fallen off my chair and both boys were yelling at me to “KEEPITDOWN!!!”. I yelled back, “IT’S JD’S FAULT.” Connor yelled, “That what you ALWAYS say!”

    OMG…this is so hysterical I’m gonna read it again…..
    .-= kathryn´s last blog ..JDF =-.

  21. 21 Barb - WillThink4Wine

    Um, that is scary, JD. Just saying. My hair is so short I couldn’t hold a pencil. Or am I mixing metaphors?
    .-= Barb – WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..Prairie Dust, 1st Coat on Base Cabinets =-.

  22. 22 carissajaded

    Ohhhh the BUMP!

    I lost a friend recently because of the bumpit. Not lost, but she was mad at me for about two days. Her hair was extremely poofy and I asked if she had used a bumpit. (in a joking but if she really had I would make fun of sort of way)

    Then everyone else joined in and there were even a few facebook messages. Anyways the point is it went too far.

    Needless to say, I’m agreeing with you on the Nay for this one. But you are hilarious!
    .-= carissajaded´s last blog ..EFFF My life- A visual presentation. =-.

  23. 23 Justin

    haha… that infomercial always cracked me up. Being a guy, I plead ignorance on these issues… but seriously, if my wife all of a sudden had a 4 inch bump on her head I’d want to take her to the doctor.

  24. 24 TheWordWire

    Next time just go with Ronco’s spray-on hair.
    .-= TheWordWire´s last blog ..Photo Friday: Meet Monument Valley Resident, George =-.

  25. 25 Lola

    I seriously don’t have enough hair for this thing to work and if I did, I’d have to order it online to avoid the embarrassment. I think even 5 years ago when I had permed hair past my shoulders this still wouldn’t work for me because my hair is so thin it would just slip out immediately.

    I’m totally with Lin. Do they have it for ‘the girls’? Cause mine could use some lift. Last night Anastasia was tossing Swedish Fish telling me she was aiming for ‘the girls’ and she hit my stomach. I was like, I know they’re not as perky as they were back in high school, but they’re not THAT low. Lol! (Umm, yeah, tossing Swedish Fish at ‘the girls’ is an age old lesbian move. Dang, now I gave away one of our secrets. I hope they don’t pull my “L card” on me.)

    Speaking of which, early in the am, around 4am to be exact Anastasia and I had the tv on while we were staying up attempting to re-do her resume and deal with an online job application that kept timing out, we saw a commercial for something that looks like a weird tank top that is supposed to suck in your gut (suck it in up to 4 sizes) and hoist ‘the girls’ up. I don’t remember what it was called, but it was AMAZING. Sucking in the gut, smoothing it out and hoisting up ‘the girls’, who could ask for more? And no, I don’t think I’m going to stay up to the wee hours to find out the name. If I do find out, I’m totally blogging about it!

    …damn I’m wordy today.
    .-= Lola´s last blog ..Friday Randomness =-.

  26. 26 Sara's Whimsy

    Pssst!

    I gave you an award: http://www.imnotjudging-imjustsaying.com/2009/10/for-moi.html
    .-= Sara’s Whimsy´s last blog ..For Moi!?! =-.

  27. 27 Lidian

    My hair is what you might call the thick/hostile type so if I even showed it a Bumpits it would tangle up instantly into big knots and refuse to be brushed out. In fact I had to scroll down really fast because just looking on the computer screen was pushing it.

    You have beautiful, gorgeous, thick hair, JD! You do not need a Bumpits. The Bumpits was ashamed and felt inferior to your hair and that, really, is probably why it did not work.
    .-= Lidian´s last blog ..Inferiority Complexion =-.

  28. 28 babs - beetle

    Ha ha! At least with the back combing there was no fear of a foreign body falling out of your hair and into your meal at a restaurant…well maybe the odd beetle from those beehives that were not combed out for two weeks or a month! You do find the funniest things to do for us.

    Oh by the way, Mo came home with four tins of sardines the other day!
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Autumn leaves =-.

  29. 29 snarkypants

    Mad props to you for the Smithereens reference!

  30. 30 Your Daily Cute

    Hysterical. You’re right — I’d never buy them. Clearly, that “fabulous” model is not using a bump-it… she had professional help. Or maybe you just need more practice bumping it. :)
    .-= Your Daily Cute´s last blog ..Ladder Kitty Ain’t Afraid of No Heights! =-.

  31. 31 Jaffer

    My Brother and I joked about it before I got the haircut – This dude could have used them alright: http://is.gd/4xBFL

    But now, with a few hairs shorter, he doesn’t need any bumpits to look better eh ? http://is.gd/4xKpe
    .-= Jaffer´s last blog ..Monday for meeting… tuesday for talking… =-.

  32. 32 cardiogirl

    Thank you so much for this review. I’ve been eyeing the bumpits (I see armpit every single time. No bum in my vision, just an armpit free of hair because of the miracle known as the Tweeze.)

    My 6-year-old’s friend (!) has a bumpit. Both my 9-year-old and my 6-year-old know what a bumpit is!

    And yes, I’ve been intrigued, but I’m savin’ my pennies after seeing this review. Thank you for doing the research and documenting it!

    Superior job.
    .-= cardiogirl´s last blog ..The book of questions, Volume 64 =-.

  33. 33 Buggys

    I have one of those topsy turvy things too! It does work, at least back in 1994 it did. Haven’t been lured by the bumpits yet but I’m sure I would have gone there eventually. Thanks JD for saving me $10. Oh, I hate to mention it but actually that comb did cost you $10. Sorry.
    Well instead of wasting money on the bumpits I think I’ll get myself a shamwow.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..President Obama I Need To Win A Hashbrown =-.

  34. 34 Heather Kephart

    OMG I am dying laughing! We just saw one of those the other day at Walgreens. My Mom asked me what it was and I said I think they came about in the aftermath of Sarah Palin.

    I LOVE your “before” and “after” pics. They always do that, overdo the “before” pic lol – and chocolate and muscle relaxers will certainly come in handy!
    .-= Heather Kephart´s last blog ..Creative inspiration takes flight at the Kephart compound =-.

  35. 35 JD

    Shieldmaiden1196: HA! I don’t blame you for making that mistake. “Hair” is not the first word I would associate with “flat.”

    ann: Oh, you’re welcome. Boy, sounds like I missed out. I should’ve gotten this at the dollar store! Anyway, I predict Bumpits will take over the world, so you may as well submit now.

    Lin: I’m pretty sure Boob Bumpits are coming out sometime next month. Look for them at your local dollar store.

    Regan: HA! You’re right. I’d forgotten about that kind of teasing. Maybe you have to be an old lady to wear a Bumpit.

    kathryn: HAHAHAHA! The “before” photo was just me looking grumpy after blow-drying my hair. THANK YOU for noticing the sophisticated scarf. It was one of those subtle touches. (Oh, and Pru’s butt played no role in this post.)

    Barb – WillThink4Wine: You may be mixing metaphors, but regardless, don’t you even think the Mini-Bumpit would work? You never know unless you try!

    carissajaded: Oh, your poor friend! But then, if she can’t take a joke (in the form of a bunch of people ganging up on her) . . . I’d be thrilled if someone asked ME if I was wearing a Bumpit. I’d just be like, NO, it’s rope, bobby pins, and Krazy Glue, but thank you!

    Justin: It could be pretty jarring to have a bumpless wife one day then the next day: BUMP! It would certainly make you wonder . . .

    TheWordWire: But can you spray on enough of that stuff to actually create a bump? Hmmm. I think I may have an idea for my next post.

    Lola: Oh, I hope you find out what the name of that Wonder Sucking-in Top was. I could use it too, even tho no one’s been tossing Swedish Fish at MY girls lately. (And believe me, I was horribly embarrassed buying this at my local drugstore. I had to tell the cashier it was a joke gift for a party. She didn’t believe me.)

    Sara’s Whimsy: Thank you so much!

    Lidian: HA! I love your description “thick/hostile”! Mine was the same before I got it cut. You’re so nice. I think the Bumpits just does not work, period. Or, as I said above, it’s a two-person operation: one to get the hair all arranged and one to wrangle the Bumpit.

    babs – beetle: Yay for sardines! I hope you’ll blog about them. AND about those month-old beehives. Did you have have one?

    snarkypants: Yesss! Thanks for noticing. It’s a great song.

    Your Daily Cute: I’m guessing I’d need a LOT of practicing bumping it—way more practice than I’m willing to spend on my stupid hair. Isn’t it enough that I have to wash it once a month?

    cardiogirl: Wow! I never thought of Bumpits for the young! And . . . they’re not getting mercilessly teased? I bet I would’ve rocked a Bumpit when I was a kid. That, and a candy necklace.

    Jaffer: Wow! You look SEX-AY! Lookit all that hair! It’s gorgeous. Yeah, I’m pretty sure “that dude” could’ve worn a Bumpit, no problem!

    Buggys: Dang it, you’re right. It wasn’t a free comb, after all. Shoot. It’s not even a very good comb.

    Heather Kephart: Ah, yes—Sarah Palin is to blame! (She probably uses one.) I wanted to do an “After Chocolate” photo where I had chocolate smeared all over my face, but it was getting late, and I’m a terrible self-photographer. Glad you enjoyed it.

  36. 36 Karen, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry'

    Funny! I thought they would be hard to cover, thanks for trying these so I don’t have to. Not that I would have though since I don’t like things in my hair, never did. If I get tired of it flat, then I get a perm. No thanks on the bumpits!
    .-= Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry’´s last blog ..Playing With Cats Is Great Fun! =-.

  37. 37 Daniela

    haha. this is an awesome post. I laugh everytime i watch the infomercial for the bumpits. what the hell kind of name is that anyway? it just makes a person’s head look like there is a giant welt under there….if anyone asks about my welt…ill tell them to check out the bumpit fabulousness. but otherwise…i PREFER my hair flat.

    Thank you for going out and buying the thing. We need a profile shot though! you know who has a natural bump? that kate plus 8 character.
    .-= Daniela´s last blog ..Celebrating 100 Failed Attempts at Entertaining the Public! =-.

  38. 38 Daniela

    hey! HEY! HEY! do you want a start a blog with me where we try out and rate all the crappy stuff they sell on infomercials? obviously we’re not looking at sponsorship througha ny of these companies because…i’d only want to try out and make fun of the crappy stuff. its a good idea. no? pth
    .-= Daniela´s last blog ..Celebrating 100 Failed Attempts at Entertaining the Public! =-.

  39. 39 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    So THAT’s how that Progressive Insurance gal gets her hair all up in there.

    Also? Your blog comes across fabulously on the Kindle. Although, admittedly, I’m not writing this comment from it. It does have limitations, you know.
    .-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Goat Thing of the Day: Taking Billy for a Ride =-.

  40. 40 Ann's Rants

    More lipsticky is the most convincing testimonial I’ve ever heard. Off to buy my own.

    Oh? The mini one is for your BROWS! Gene Shallot BABY!
    .-= Ann’s Rants´s last blog ..Understanding Regan =-.

  41. 41 babs - beetle

    No, no weeks long beehive for me! I combed my hair through every day. I mainly had my ‘pixie’ cut or ‘Urchin’ as we called it, so no backcombing needed :)
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Autumn leaves =-.

  42. 42 Noelle

    This post makes me so happy that I started reading blogs again. My friends and I were just contemplating the nature of a bumpit, and I could not fathom how that was supposed to work. I appreciate the confirmation that it doesn’t.
    .-= Noelle´s last blog ..I heart the Hudson Valley =-.

  43. 43 dcr

    What if you put the Bumpits on upside down? You know, Halloween is next week. Upside-down Bumpit = Hair Horns. Accentuate it with a mohawk down the back of the head. That’s the big Bumpit upside down in front, running perpendicular to your head and then the medium Bumpit running parallel to your head from the middle to the back.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Your Questions Answered =-.

  44. 44 JD

    Karen, author of “My Funny Dad, Harry”: My perm days are over. I’ve got these two bald spots at each temple, and I’m just afraid any fussing will fry off more hair. But I’m glad you’ve found a simple solution for your own personal “flat to fabulous” situation!

    Daniela: Kate’s hair-bump is more like a hair-spike. But the idea is there. I was afraid to try to take a profile shot, because—I’m serious, my poorly constructed bump kept falling out. It was not a good scene. I can think of about 20 better names than Bumpits . . . but not right now. I just ate a huge baked potato!

    Daniela: If they were smart, they WOULD sponsor us, because we’d be so awesome, we’d get them LOTS of publicity. Negative publicity, but you know what they say. It’s a good idea. I am thinking . . .

    Margaret (Nanny Goats): Ah! Good catch on the Progressive Insurance lady. And thanks for the Kindle report. Dave won’t let me get a Kindle until I read the piles and piles of books overtaking our bedroom. I reckon I’ll get a Kindle when I’m 90. By then the Kindle will just be a chip implanted in the eyeball.

    Ann’s Rants: Oh, YEAH! Now I just need to grow out my eyebrows so I can do the Shallot Bump. I never even KNEW that was a fashion trend, so thank you for telling me!

    babs – beetle: I’ve seen the pixie cut — what did the “urchin” look like? Was a bump involved at all?

    Noelle: I’m glad you’re back! And look at what you might’ve missed! You’d really regret not knowing all about the Bumpit. PHEW!

    dcr: Are you freaking kidding me? I could barely get the damn thing in the correct way, never mind all “devil’s horns” and “mohawk” style! Maybe if I had a team of stylists. Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE the idea. I’m just not very optimistic about the execution.

  45. 45 dcr

    It’s Halloween. If the execution goes poorly, spray some fake blood up in your hair and no one will be the wiser… ;)
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..I Write Stuff to Cure Your Insomnia =-.

  46. 46 Patricia

    I have never seen an ad for a Bumpits but it looks like just the thing for me. My hair is very full in front and very thin in back. Maybe I could use it and I wouldn’t look so bald from the rear.

  47. 47 Buggys

    I don’t know where you got that picture but that woman looks freakish…even discounting the hair. Kind of creepy really.
    Oh, true (someone said this) I bet you’re right! Sarah Palin totally uses this!
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..It’s All In The Bowl =-.

  48. 48 Jen

    OMG I was totally thinking bums armpits too. Why oh why would anyone want bumpy hair? This hairstyle didn’t look good in the 60′s and it still doesn’t. I am glad you got one and tried it out my daughter has been begging me to get them every time we go to Walgreens. My son wants the Slap Chop just so he can say “You’re gonna love my nuts”.

    I did try that bra thing that clips your bra straps together so your straps don’t fall down and it worked but I couldn’t get out of the bra later on. I’d rather be tugging at my straps all day than wrestle to get out of my bra at night.

    Thanks for trying these for us, can you bring them back? Just show them the pictures and I’m sure they will understand.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Why We Really Need Health Care Reform =-.

  49. 49 JD

    dcr: Ah . . . excellent idea. I was wondering what I was gonna do with all this fake blood.

    Patricia: Try it! And take pictures. Remember to add a jaunty scarf and liptstick for the “after” picture.

    Buggys: The fact that Sarah Palin uses Bumpits clarifies SO MUCH. And now . . . I’m not so sure I want a hair-bump any more.

    Jen: Actually, I was thinking of giving them away in a blog contest. My hair was clean when I used it—and I only used one. I hope someone will want this fantastic product. True, it’s no SlapChop, but it’s the best I can do. (You really didn’t like the “bump” look of the 60s? I did . . . but then I have a square head.)

  50. 50 Preston

    JD, I absolutely adore you. Love the pictures even though the product sounds like something that happens to your armpits after you shave them. Plus the first picture looks like the chick from the B52s.
    .-= Preston´s last blog ..Phenomenal Brunch at Casona in Collingswood =-.

  51. 51 babs - beetle

    We called the pixie cut the ‘urchin’. It then became the Vidal Sassoon cut, once he refined it.
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Autumn leaves =-.

  52. 52 Daniela

    Hows the thinking treating you? Is it more painful than the bum’s pits?
    .-= Daniela´s last blog ..Celebrating 100 Failed Attempts at Entertaining the Public! =-.

  53. 53 jennyonthespot

    “I see London
    I see France
    I see JD’s Bumpits . . . pants?”

    YOU KILL ME! *snort*

    You are also hot. Bumpits or no. Rawr. ;)
    .-= jennyonthespot´s last blog ..Make Me Laugh Monday – Glitter Spray for Crafts Finds a Higher Calling =-.

  54. 54 Anne

    Do you have any idea how long it takes me to unBumpits my hair every day? I can easily get those bumps, it is getting rid of it that is my challenge. Although, I am going to an 80s party (when did my teens become a theme) in a few weeks and if it could give me a Flock of Seagulls type look.

  55. 55 Buggys

    I can live without a hair bump but boy could I love me a butt bump. I think my butt fell into my thighs because it disappeared. Did you notice one of those at the store. I’ll head over to the “as seen on tv” store and look. I’ll let you know.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..It’s All In The Bowl =-.

  56. 56 Tracy

    Too funny!!! Even on the commercials these look like an obvious bad idea.
    .-= Tracy´s last blog ..MediFast Fast Facts =-.

  57. 57 tabitha

    hilarious! just stumbled upon your blog and i have a feeling it’s going to provide with some much needed humor breaks during my work day. :)
    .-= tabitha´s last blog ..Confessions of a Ripped-off Consumer =-.

  58. 58 Michelle Gartner

    The only living being to make a bumpit hair do look hot is Elvira mistress of the dark- but that was actually her head not a bumpit back there…
    .-= Michelle Gartner´s last blog ..Music Monday – 123 By the Groovie Goolies =-.

  59. 59 flit

    I am very glad you tried this so that I don’t have to. My hair is WAY too fine to hide my scalp completely, never mind any extras.
    .-= flit´s last blog ..yay me =-.

  60. 60 Henry

    Wow – that page is definitely a in your face, I’m yelling until you’re deaf sales pitch. This was definitely before my time, but as a fan of the very weird, I definitely thank you for sharing!
    .-= Henry´s last blog ..Negative Calorie Fruits: More on Negative Calorie Fruit =-.

  61. 61 Arianna

    That was hilarious! i bought one too…new combs! LOL
    .-= Arianna´s last blog ..Episode 3 =-.

  62. 62 JD

    Preston: Aw! I adore you too. Yeah, maybe “Bumpits” would be more appropriate for some kind of lotion you use to get rid of armpit shaving bumps. And how do you know so much about armpit shaving???

    babs – beetle: Oh, I see. I wonder how “the urchin” would go over today as a hairstyle name.

    Daniela: HA! There’s nothing more painful than a bum’s armpits . . . I would imagine. Still thinking, tho!

    jennyonthespot: Ooh la la. Thank you, my dear. And thank you for enjoying my little poem, which I obviously could’ve put more work into.

    Anne: Maybe you could use the Bumpits sideways for that Flock of Seagulls “wave”? Yes, I would imagine it’d be hard to get rid of a Bumpits. All that hairspray and teasing. You may as well just cut it off. Maybe you’d like an “urchin” cut? (see above).

    Buggys: I did NOT see a Butt Bump at Walgreens, BUTT! (heh), take a look at this! (As seen on “Tyra Banks”!)

    Tracy: Right! They obviously couldn’t be bothered to put much work into the ad—they just made it extra LOUD.

    tabitha: Welcome! So happy to have you here. Feel free to laugh out loud. You won’t get fired: I PROMISE!

    Michelle Gartner: Oh, yeah, I forgot about Elvira. So that was her head, eh? Well, that explains a lot. It’s not worth it to me to have a deformed head just to achieve the much-coveted hair-bump-look.

    flit: You’re very welcome. I think I have some scalp showing, after trying to dig this stupid Bumpits in my hair.

    Henry: The Bumpits is NOT before your time, sir! It is happening NOW!

    Arianna: Woo-hoo! It’s worth it for the comb. And the packaging is pretty sweet.

  63. 63 Queen Katherine

    I know I’ve said this at least a jillion times before, but…I. LOVE. YOU.

    Seriously. It’s beginning to border on this weird stalking-type thing. I cannot get enough of your posts. Or the amazing public service you do. I am even envious of your experience with the Bumpits – they made you look all “happier and lipsticky”…and you got a free comb? You da bomb.

    Your review was suh-weet. You’ve saved me from wasting the money – but more importantly, the embarrassment from having my ‘pits fall out at a fancy party. Oh wait. That’s right. I don’t go to any fancy parties. Nor do I know anyone who throws them. Does that mean I’m the typical market for Bumpits? Or do I need to be an Aqua Net aficionado?

    Seriously, thanks. I really needed that this morning. xx
    .-= Queen Katherine´s last blog ..Happy Halloween Trick Bowl =-.

  64. 64 Buggys

    Whew, thanks JD for doing this vital bit of research for me because, Obviously, I’m pretty lazy and can’t search the internet myself. But I had to reach all the way up to the Q and it was so far…… sorry. I went to the website you found and lo and behold, YES, the BUNZ, sticky butt pads! Oh, I’m getting a butt for Christmas!
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts =-.

  65. 65 Jenn Thorson

    Well, now we know. I always suspected, but since you did things, I didn’t have to. And now we know that in the middle of a talk, even Sarah Palin’s Bumpit could go south. :)
    .-= Jenn Thorson´s last blog ..T’was the Night Before Halloween, Plus Zombies =-.

  66. 66 Staci at Just Bloggled

    Fabulous. Now that you have the hair bump, you can try out for Rock of Love Bus: Season 2 so we don’t have to. That blonde chic who looked like a messed up Juliette Lewis was sporting the Bumpit all last season (either that or she was trying to cover up a horn). I hope for your sake that there is a money back guarantee.
    .-= Staci at Just Bloggled´s last blog ..I Know That I Said I Wouldn’t, But… =-.

  67. 67 mrsblogalot

    OMG, I love you.

    Oh, and they call that thing Jersey Hair where I come from-Stay far away from it!!!! (-:

  68. 68 Dorothy Stahlnecker

    That is so funny and I can’t say I ever tried anything like that before..

    Dorothy from grammology
    grammology.com
    .-= Dorothy Stahlnecker´s last blog ..What to think about your kids and how they love and have sex today =-.

  69. 69 Shelly

    Too Funny. With your wavy hair I had hope. My hair is so straight I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even keep the bumpit covered, let alone in. Thanks for taking one for the team:)
    .-= Shelly´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday~ Morning View =-.

  70. 70 JD

    Queen Katherine: Confession: I don’t go to any parties either. That was a totally made-up scenario. As for your stalker-y love — it is reciprocated. As soon as I saw what you could do with a mere plastic candy bowl? I fell over in a dead swoon of jealousy.

    Buggys: YAY! A butt for Christmas! It’s like the title of a Lifetime movie. I’m glad you were able to click on the link. Your life is gonna be soooo different from now on.

    Jenn Thorson: Yup. Watch for it. Notice how you never see her from behind? That’s ‘cuz she’s got a whole team of Secret Service men holding up her Bumpits.

    Staci at Just Bloggled: Oh, Rock of Love! How I hate to love thee. I missed the “Bus” season, but now I’ll HAVE to download it on iTunes to see the Bumpits “girl.” As for a money-back guarantee . . . uh, I was going to give this out as a FABULOUS prize for my next blog contest? You’ll be entering, right?

    mrsblogalot: Hi! I love you too! (I’m easy.) Jersey Hair, eh? I did find myself tawking differernt when I was wearin’ it. Hmm.

    Dorothy Stahlnecker: Really? Aren’t you a grandma? Do you at least remember when this style was “in”? Don’t tell ME you never had a hair-bump!

    Shelly: You’re very welcome. I had hope, too. Maybe I’ll keep trying. Don’t be surprised if you see me on the cover of Vogue with the caption: “Unknown Woman Singlehandedly Brings Back the Hair Bump.”

  71. 71 David

    I love how the first photo looks like the poor lady has a hairy pineapple on her head.
    .-= David´s last blog ..And That Was My Day =-.

  72. 72 Maureen

    Oh no you DIDN’T!

    Ahahahaha oh JD what you won’t do for our entertainment. Love this.

    Too bad it didn’t work (like I was surprised).

    But at least it made you all lipsticky.
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..The Scariest Part of Halloween =-.

  73. 73 Kayla Hewett

    I have to say, I’m Def. not a model, but I wear my bumpit at least 2-3 times a week.
    I’ll agree with you and say it’s more than just pulling up a section of hair and inserting the bumpit to make it look good.. but with a few more steps, like hairspray and using the comb they provided.. it can look really good :) i LOVE mine!

  74. 74 JD

    David: That’s exactly what I thought! It looks strangely edible . . .

    Maureen: OH YES I DID! Yes, I was very happy (and surprised) about the lipsticky part. You KNOW I just had to try this. I mean, I kinda wanted to anyway.

    Kayla Hewett: Well, I’m gonna give mine another try. I hate to waste a perfectly good $9.99. And I do love the “Bumpits look,” if it’s done right. Send me a photo!

  75. 75 Suzanne

    I agree I love the look of volume in the crown area. However, Bumpits do not work. The best product to help you with this amazing look think Beyonce, Carrie Underwood or Hillary Duff is Hair Poufs available online at bombshellbeauty. They were the Original Hair Bumping Styling Tool. They are much smaller, stay in your hair securely and cannot be seen. They come with instructions on how to create six amazing styles.

  76. 76 Jeanne

    I’m one of the 2 that hadn’t heard of Bumpits until yesterday when I was visiting Bed, Bath, & Beyond. I love your post and pics. I actually looked at the package and wondered if anyone had bought them. :-) Boy, if it worked, I could have big hair again… love your post.
    .-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Pumpkin Chronicles: Making a Difference In the World =-.

  77. 77 JD

    Suzanne: Hair Poufs, eh? Well, it’s not QUITE as stupid a name as Bumpits, so what the heck. These pouffy hair thingies may be NEXT on my reviews list!

    Jeanne: I really wanted these dang Bumpits to work. I love the idea of big hair. For me, it’s never gone out of style. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  78. 78 Mel

    Since these bumpits obviously don’t work, looks like I’ll have to buy some of that fake hair that Jessica Simpson is selling on HSN. lol

  79. 79 Kinky My Pinky

    I bought one of these bumpits for my cat. She loves the added volume.

  80. 80 Jeremy from We Took The Bait

    One fine day, we will also try Bump-its and write a humorous article about them.

    Many thanks for trailblazing on this one.

    Very much enjoyed your well-depicted review.

  81. 81 JD at I Do Things

    Yes, please do! I look forward to your review. As you can see, I didn't have much luck.


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