(Deafening roar of cheering crowds followed by stunned, awed silence)
The Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest(s) is/are over, and we have our winners!
From the original contest
The people who can’t understand JD’s invidious tendencies toward bananas and pickles are the same ones who are puzzled why similarly-shapen hot dogs make the grade.
JD would have been justified in shoving the ponytail-wearing interloper out of her personal space because violating that kind of gym punctilio warrants much more than just staring a hole through the back of her head.
If you’re going to show what a sitzmark looks like by falling out of a chair, you should at least make sure there’s snow on the ground, because I’m pretty sure it would hurt a lot less.
Canucklehead hath started leaving comments in the puzzling vocabulary of a certain blogging Lord, a habit he knew would be considered invidious to this noble gentleman. In fact, he had previously stood gape-jawed in horror as the aforementioned Sir Likely beat a street urchin within an inch of her young life for a lesser infraction of such a punctilio. It is for this reason that I am hopeful that he learns not of my transgressions prior to our upcomg trip to Aspen or he shall certainly pummel me into the slope and turn the resulting sitzmark into a literal bloodbath.
From the revised contest
As I stood by the pool nude and dripping wet from the latest way I could think of to get my mind right, the door bell rang. As the maid ushered him in, I grabbed my lacy underpants and welcomed the new delivery boy with the reward of myself and some of the Vicodin his very thoughtful employer had sent my way.
“What are these?” Little Stevie asked. “Oh, just grannie’s underpants.” Little Stevie was scarred for life.
Little Stevie looked at the white pills. Were they tic tacs? Candy? He decided to try them even though he was warned they were Vicodin.
Little Stevie got undressed for his shower. Then he got dared to run around outside nude.
The warning label on the Vicodin clearly warned against going out in the nude. But don’t underpants just create an internal environment of nudity, you know for the bits and pieces?
Congratulations!!! And thank you to everyone who played. All of the entries were great, and I’m most thankful to my judges for picking the winners so I didn’t have to.
All winners, please send me your address via my contact form or e-mail at idothings[at]yahoo.com.
There will be more contests! More prizes! More Gus!