(Deafening roar of cheering crowds followed by stunned, awed silence)

The Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest(s) is/are over, and we have our winners!

From the original contest

Kathy from The Junk Drawer:

The people who can’t understand JD’s invidious tendencies toward bananas and pickles are the same ones who are puzzled why similarly-shapen hot dogs make the grade.

JD would have been justified in shoving the ponytail-wearing interloper out of her personal space because violating that kind of gym punctilio warrants much more than just staring a hole through the back of her head.

If you’re going to show what a sitzmark looks like by falling out of a chair, you should at least make sure there’s snow on the ground, because I’m pretty sure it would hurt a lot less.
0

Canucklehead:

Canucklehead hath started leaving comments in the puzzling vocabulary of a certain blogging Lord, a habit he knew would be considered invidious to this noble gentleman. In fact, he had previously stood gape-jawed in horror as the aforementioned Sir Likely beat a street urchin within an inch of her young life for a lesser infraction of such a punctilio. It is for this reason that I am hopeful that he learns not of my transgressions prior to our upcomg trip to Aspen or he shall certainly pummel me into the slope and turn the resulting sitzmark into a literal bloodbath.

From the revised contest

Carol:

As I stood by the pool nude and dripping wet from the latest way I could think of to get my mind right, the door bell rang. As the maid ushered him in, I grabbed my lacy underpants and welcomed the new delivery boy with the reward of myself and some of the Vicodin his very thoughtful employer had sent my way.

Regan:

“What are these?” Little Stevie asked. “Oh, just grannie’s underpants.” Little Stevie was scarred for life.

Little Stevie looked at the white pills. Were they tic tacs? Candy? He decided to try them even though he was warned they were Vicodin.

Little Stevie got undressed for his shower. Then he got dared to run around outside nude.

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Cardiogirl:

The warning label on the Vicodin clearly warned against going out in the nude. But don’t underpants just create an internal environment of nudity, you know for the bits and pieces?

Congratulations!!! And thank you to everyone who played. All of the entries were great, and I’m most thankful to my judges for picking the winners so I didn’t have to.

All winners, please send me your address via my contact form or e-mail at idothings[at]yahoo.com.

There will be more contests! More prizes! More Gus!

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13 Comments


13 Responses to “I Announce the Winners of the Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest!”

  1. 1 Canucklehead

    I (heart) your contests!
    Congrats to all.

  2. 2 Kathy

    Way to go everyone! More contests, more fun, more Gus! What could be better? Can’t wait!

    Kathy’s last blog post..Don’t Worry, He Won’t Bite

  3. 3 JD

    Canucklehead: And my contests (heart) you.

    Kathy: Especially more Gus! Woo!

    JD’s last blog post..I Announce the Winners of the Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest! so you don’t have to

  4. 4 Regan

    What are the other two white circle question mark prizes?? Or will it be a surprise?

  5. 5 JD
  6. 6 cardiogirl

    JD, you are too much! Thank you.

    I still want Gus as the prize, even though I know he’s not part of the package and he probably wouldn’t do well smushed up in the box with styrofoam peanuts sent here to Michigan. Also, since my kid is allergic to cats and has asthma, it’s a no go.

    But I still admire/lust after Gus from afar. Hey, can you post more pictures of him here. Oh! Maybe you’ve done that over at Flickr. I’m off to check it out!

    Thanks again!

    cardiogirl’s last blog post..How does a crime go from planning to execution?

  7. 7 JD

    Cardiogirl: Gus is willing to travel the country as a gift on loan to various prize-winners. No styrofoam peanuts, tho, as he’s allergic. Your kids will just have to scratch and wheeze while he’s there, which should be worth it, I would think.

    YES! Gus is on Flickr, and more pix are coming up!

    JD’s last blog post..I Announce the Winners of the Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest! so you don’t have to

  8. 8 Regan

    I want Gus! But my one cat, Sissy is VERY territoial…. sometimes this one cat sits on the window sill outside and Sissy hiss and claws at the cat…

  9. 9 JD

    Regan: You’ll have to get in line—EVERYone wants Gus! I bet Sissy does not like that cat sitting on “her” window. Gus is territorial, too. His cousin Rudy is here right now, and Gus has to let out a big howl every time Rudy gets close to his food dish. Otherwise, he’s a big sweetie.

    JD’s last blog post..I Announce the Winners of the Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest! so you don’t have to

  10. 10 Kathy

    Listen up. If anyone’s getting Gus, it’s me. I would send a limousine for him, complete with kitty bed and tiny little eye shades to keep the sun out so he can nap properly. When he gets here, he would have free reign over the whole house, I would feed him breakfast in bed, and I would tell him every second of the day what a good boy he is! Yeah, he’s all mine.

    Kathy’s last blog post..To Dream the Impossible Dream

  11. 11 JD

    Kathy: You’re definitely the first stop on the It’s Gus! countrywide tour. He’s very excited to meet Lucky, Stinky, and Shadow and has even said he’ll defer to Stinky’s wishes when he’s there. But the other two are going to have to give him the best sunpatches, the wettest food, the softest stomach to knead, and the cleanest litterbox.

    It’s Gus!

    JD’s last blog post..I Announce the Winners of the Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest! so you don’t have to

  12. 12 elasticwaistbandlady

    I thought this contest was like the Publisher’s Clearinghouse one. They said that “I may already be a winner,” so I thought that was good enough. Nobody told me that I had to actually like, enter it, and stuff. :(

    I hope the winners aren’t feeling too smug. They’re just lucky I didn’t play along because I would have taken all the top prizes with my vocab skillz. I memorized the Urban Dictionary. Can any of them say that? Can they??!!?

    elasticwaistbandlady’s last blog post..It’s Fantastic-Frou-Frou-French-Food Friday!

  13. 13 JD

    EwBL: (May I call you that?) You have just given me a great idea for a new contest involving Urban Dictionary. I don’t know when it’ll be posted (this last contest was exhausting), but I expect you to participate.

    You’re not gonna let those smug winners get away with all the loot, are you?!

    JD’s last blog post..I Announce the Winners of the Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest! so you don’t have to


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