I Am Suing

Who you gonna call?
My lawyer!

An eagle-eyed reader sent me the most incriminating e-mail attachment the other day. In order to protect her anonymity, I will refrain from naming her. But! You should totally check out her awesome photo blog here! Er, perhaps she’s not so anonymous anymore. But I know you can keep a secret.

The attachment was a scan of a magazine cover, and you will not believe your eyeballs. I don’t want to get cross-sued, so I’m only printing a portion of the cover.


I know. You’re thinking this is obviously the cover of Entertainment Weekly. PROVE IT! I say it’s Entertainment Ekly, which is a totally different publication.

Anyway, look up there in the lefthand corner. I’m sorry, but you might catch a glimpse of Sarah Palin’s head Now With Bumpits! Yes, you see it now, don’t you? That helpful finger (attached to Robert Downey Jr.) is showing you the way.

This is a freaking outrage! My source thinks this all came about as a result of my recent Blog Catalog interview, and she damn well may be right.

To make matters worse, this isn’t even the first time. The online version of Entertainment Ekly has also taken part in this skullduggery:

I Saw It So You Don’t Have to (note: This leads you to a review of a Lindsay Lohan movie. AVOID!)

What the? This is just blatant rip-offery. And it got me thinking. Maybe there are other people out there doing things so you/I don’t have to. If so, they must be stopped. And sued.

Oh, but look.

OK, I am actually starting to get a little nervous here. Who’s stealing from whom? Maybe instead of suing Entertainment Ekly, I should just back away quietly.

. . .

NO! I will fight this! And by “fight,” I mean write a letter to Entertainment Ekly and beg them to pimp my site. If they agree, I’ll move on to Entertainment Weekly.

Pretty soon anyone who wants to do something so you don’t have to will have to clear it with me.

Thanks, Val! I mean, Anonymous Reader!

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46 Responses to “I Am Suing”

  1. 1 Regan

    Yes! My parents subscribe to Entertainment Ekly and I will occasionally read an article or too if the magazine is lying out opened.

    I saw the cover with ‘So You Don’t Have To’ and immediately thought. “They stole from JD!!!”

    And then I thought about how awesome it would be if you had written that article.

  2. 2 Spot

    What is the world coming too??! Blatant Plagarism! Then again…if copying is the sincerest form of flattery…you should be so totally flattered. Like so flattered your head swells up and almost explodes. I mean, I really don’t want you to explode your head so i don’t have to. mmmk?

    .-= Spot´s last blog ..The nature of friendship… =-.

  3. 3 V

    Now I’m ROFL! I subscribe to this magazine too and when I saw it, I was like WTF, that’s JD’s job. No mention of you at all. They totally stole it. Your blog is original and nobody else can do things so we don’t have to without your expressed written consent or some legal jargon like that.

    I think we should all email the magazine and demand they give you credit. I’m crazy enough to do it.

  4. 4 Stephanie Barr

    Ack! Now I’m frightened! I mean I read tarot cards so others don’t have to or look up answers or do rocket science-y stuff. I don’t know that I’ve ever worded a title that way (but I might have; I’m such a fan!)

    I’m just going to hide in my closet now in the fetal position and wait for lawyers to come and collect my house.

    Oh well, since that’s where we’ve “hidden” the kids’ presents, at least I won’t be bored.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..For Krys: What About My Relationship? =-.

  5. 5 CatLadyLarew

    I shall refuse to read that rag, Entertainment Ekly, until they cease and desist from using your tag line.
    .-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Missed Opportunities =-.

  6. 6 dcr

    I now fear for my life.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Shallow Thoughts =-.

  7. 7 babs - beetle

    You know, I have a theory that NOTHING is original. Everything we see, hear or read throughout our lives effects our creativity, whether we are aware of it or not. Still, you sue the pants off ‘em. Or just write a letter ;)
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..My very own underwater light show =-.

  8. 8 Patricia

    I gotta tell you, I have been seeing a lot of these “so you don’t have to” stories everywhere too. Long after I started reading your blog, I might add. You have a case, girl! Go for it!

  9. 9 Daniela

    You have lots of witnesses! and I have lawyer connections…but it may just be easier to back away slowly and not get into more trouble. You don’t want to lose a shitload of money so we don’t have to.
    .-= Daniela´s last blog ..Missing My Little Salmonella =-.

  10. 10 Keith

    Start with the deep pockets and work your way down the list. Entertainment Ekly has no business stealing your gig. Now you have no real reason to read Sarah’s book.

    Actually they may have just done you a favor. Now you can read their article, distill it down and post it as your own content. “I Read Entertainment Ekly’s Review of Sarah Palin’s Book So You Don’t Have To” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
    .-= Keith´s last blog ..Nov 21, National Air and Space Museum at the Smithsonian Institute is home to Norman Rockwell paintings =-.

  11. 11 Daisy the Curly Cat

    Copycats! Copycats! Maybe you could go on Judge Judy. I like that show.
    .-= Daisy the Curly Cat´s last blog ..Sunday Comics with Daisy! =-.

  12. 12 Kathy

    You want I should write that letter to Entertainment Ekly so you don’t have to? I’m very threatening. They would be ascairt of me. I would use a lot of words like “aforementioned,” “in accordance with,” “precedent” and “kick your ass.” Will that do it?

  13. 13 JD

    Regan: You crack me up. It WOULD be awesome if you turned to that article to find “Written by JD” under the title. Some day . . .

    Spot: Plagiarism. THANK YOU! I could not for the life of me think of that stupid word. And I am flattered — almost to the point of explosion. The only thing that keeps me from exploding is the blinding rage and will for revenge.

    V: Yes! It IS my job, whatever it is. I take my work seriously. If I start a petition, will you sign it? I know you’re crazy enough to go storming over to their offices, but I hate for you to take any chances.

    Stephanie Barr: Don’t worry. Even if you did “steal” my tag line, I would be happy to have you do so, since you do so many things I could never do (especially all that rocket science stuff). No lawyers will be coming after you, but go ahead! Play in the closet. Sounds like fun.

    CatLadyLarew: Now THAT’S what I’m talking about. Entertainment Ekly, you are gonna be SORRY!

    dcr: No, no, no. See, here’s the big difference. You always gave me credit. Always. And that’s really all I want. You know, a little footnote at the bottom of the cover, with a nod and my URL. This whole mess could have been avoided.

    babs – beetle: Your theory is interesting. I shall ponder it. In the meantime, tho, yes. I will sue. (I wonder if I can get in trouble for just saying that?)

    Patricia: I DO have a case, don’t I?! I’m really starting to believe it. Why, oh, why didn’t I trademark that line?!

    Daniela: You make a good point. I don’t have a shitload (or any kind of load) of money to lose. Perhaps I’ll write a friendly letter, with only mildly threatening overtones.

    Keith: Not having to read Sarah Palin’s book is the only good thing to come out of this. Doing a condensed version? That just might work. There’s nothing I love more than a rehashed article and an unwieldy title.

    Daisy the Curly Cat: You like Judge Judy? I’ll try to see if she would agree to settle our case. But can you come with me? I’m scairt of judges.

  14. 14 Muskrat

    I am truly appalled for you.

  15. 15 Grace

    You’re going to have to take your law suit international – I found this
    .-= Grace´s last blog ..Sunday Serenade =-.

  16. 16 Buggys

    They did what? How dare they! That bunch of no talent plagiarists! Can’t you do a search to see if any of their writers EVER logged on to your blog?
    Well, it is the sincerest form of flattery right? No money in that , unfortunately.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Great Gift Idea for The Young Fasionistas! =-.

  17. 17 Tiggy

    Take ‘em all down, JD! “We Steal Slogans So You Don’t Have To” more like!
    .-= Tiggy´s last blog ..Good Advice with Betty Lemons =-.

  18. 18 BK

    It wasn’t hard at all to spot the ‘So you don’t have to’ and to think of your blog. :)
    .-= BK´s last blog ..Theme Song of Departures (Okuribito) =-.

  19. 19 Florida Girl In Sydney

    I’d tread lightly here, next thing you know you could have ELKY WEEKLY camped outside your house with cameras and all trying to get the jump on what you’re doing ALL THE TIME, they’ll think they’re going to sell all the secrets of what you’re doing (so we don’t have to) before you tell on your blog….
    .-= Florida Girl In Sydney´s last blog ..Fireworks in my Bedroom =-.

  20. 20 Your Daily Cute

    How dare people do things? The nerve of them! You’re right — this is an absolute outrage!

    People can’t just go around doing things. It’s unheard of. No one ever did things before your blog came along. Can you believe how many people do things now?! I’m absolutely speechless.

    Hope you make lots of suing money. ;)
    .-= Your Daily Cute´s last blog ..Kitty Cat Sign Language =-.

  21. 21 Jeff

    You should watch this if you haven’t seen it already.
    Totally cracks me up.
    .-= Jeff´s last blog ..Wanted: Your favorite bloggers =-.

  22. 22 Baron von Rochester

    I am shocked — shocked, I tell you — at the scandalous and unholy nature of this blatant larceny.
    .-= Baron von Rochester´s last blog ..Miscellany =-.

  23. 23 Tim

    Good video, Jeff. That song was my favorite at the the last concert.

    I can see where you might be concerned, JD. With all of these posers coming in on your scene, maybe we won’t need you so desperately. After all, scads of newbies are lining up, begging to do things for me. Soon I can just sit back and relax, after farming out every single tedious activity. And I owe it all to you for getting the ball rolling. Thanks!
    .-= Tim´s last blog ..And Now a Couple Comments That We Deleted =-.

  24. 24 Surfie

    You are always the first person I think of when I hear the phrase “so you don’t have to”. I’d say you they’re all sue-worthy! Go get ‘em, JD. :)
    .-= Surfie´s last blog ..Pumpkin Shortage? Noooooo! =-.

  25. 25 JD

    Kathy: Would you, please? I don’t know those big, scary phrases. I’d be all “I’m a kick yo’ asses!” and that might not get me too far.

    Muskrat: You should be appalled for ALL bloggers, because who will be next? Maybe in a week of two we’ll see a tagline under Entertainment Ekly: “Sometimes we say things that are innappropriate.” And THEN how you gonna feel?

    Grace: Sputters with rage She’s not even doing it right! She buries the awesome tag line in the article. She must realize she’s blatantly stealing and is trying to get away with it. SHE WILL BE SUED! Thank you, eagle-eyed reader!

    Buggys: Yeah, flattery is great and everything, but I want money and if not money, then at least props. I realize it’s hard to put a hyperlink into a print magazine, but come, EE. Be creative.

    Tiggy: Woo! Now I’m really all fired up . . . and on only one cup of coffee. Wait until my second. LIGHT THE TORCHES!

    BK: Well, that’s nice to hear. As long as the masses do realize where that tag line comes from. It’s nice . . . but not enough. I demand justice.

    Florida Girl In Sydney: Hmmm. Reporters with cameras camped outside my house . . . I’m not seeing the downside here. As for selling my secrets instead of telling them . . . for free? Hmmm. Again, not seeing the negative.

    Your Daily Cute: Speechless is good, for now. But you will need to regain your power of speech when I rally together my supporters for a protest at the offices of Entertaiment Ekly. Not quite sure where they are, but I’ll find ‘em.

    Jeff: Awesome. I have an unabashed love for Weird Al. I didn’t even recognize the song, which is unusual, but it’s still hilarious. “I sued Petco, ‘cuz I ate a bag of kitty litter, and now I got bad BREATH!” Oh, we’ve all been THERE. Thanks!

    Baron von Rochester: It’s just pukey gross, is what it is. Hey, do you feel like taking on another job? I could use a good lawyer who talks real smart and knows big words.

    Tim: Gulp. You know, I never even THOUGHT about not being needed anymore. Are you sure I can’t help out with some of your chores? Um, I wash dishes real good . . .

    Surfie: Oh, phew. I feel better. OK, I’m getting all dressed up in my suing clothes and getting this thing DONE!

  26. 26 moooooog35

    I write shitty comments so you don’t have to.

    Does that count?
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Twix or Tweets – Volume One =-.

  27. 27 Pricilla

    I am glad someone read Sarah Palin’s book so I don’t have to ’cause I wasn’t going to anyway.

    If you need a lawyer you can call the male person. He’s retired and only useable in NJ but I am sure he would help anyway. He still has his brain.

    WE all know you came up with the idea first. You can also have Abby she will butt the heck out of anyone!
    .-= Pricilla´s last blog ..Goatucation – Making Goat’s Milk Cheese: Ricotta =-.

  28. 28 Maureen

    Note to self:

    Never, ever, ever in a gazillion years ever use the following words in a blog post:







    in any order whatsoever.

    I don’t want to be sued, so you don’t have to.

    OH dammit!
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..Up On the Roof =-.

  29. 29 Leeuna

    Oh my stars and garters! Now we will all have to hide our blogs from Entertainment Ekly! And, the nerve of them…doing things before you do things. It’s just not right. I say sue em. Sue em JD! We’re all behind you.
    .-= Leeuna´s last blog ..Thanksgiving and a few of my favorite things =-.

  30. 30 carissajade

    Shame on Entertainment Ekly! Ican’t believe they so blatantly ripped your ass off. And on a week of Thanks to boot!

    Thanks so much for a well needed laugh today!
    .-= carissajade´s last blog ..A little bit of this, in 1D =-.

  31. 31 Bingo

    Lol I support you. We have to stop this. It’s a Shame!
    .-= Bingo´s last blog ..Superstitions Chapter 4 – The black cat =-.

  32. 32 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Dude! I’m like BFFs with the editor of Entertainment Ekly. His name is Ack Ohnson. Just tell him (or her, I forget now) I sent ya and he (or she) will hook you up.
    .-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Indian Outlaw Spotted in Indian Casino…Or Was He? =-.

  33. 33 mrsblogalot

    This is an abomination! Take this to the highest court! I vomit in outrage so you don’t have to…oh sorry
    .-= mrsblogalot´s last blog ..Eyes on Your Own Paper Mister! =-.

  34. 34 Kathryn

    Well, this is completely unacceptable.

    Don’t they know who you ARE?

    I say we buy up all the copies of Entertainment Ekly (you may have to pay double to anyone who already bought it and doesn’t wanna give it back but that’s the price of RETRIBUTION) and then we’ll cross off whoever’s name is there and put in YOURS.

    It’ll be worth SO MUCH MORE that those previous owners will buy BACK their copies (with the new & improved version of JD’s signature name & possibly a Thai-porn reference subtly thrown in) for THREE TIMES the original market value….thereby making you a trikazillionaire.

    You’re welcome.
    .-= Kathryn´s last blog ..Every Kiss Begins With A Gag =-.

  35. 35 Muskrat

    I will feel awful, that’s how I’ll feel. And then, angry. Give ‘em hell, JD! For all of us!
    .-= Muskrat´s last blog ..things of which i am not a fan: god’s use of irony =-.

  36. 36 JD

    moooooo35: It counts. YOU’RE SUED!

    Pricilla: Wow, thank you! Between the power of the male person’s brain and Abby’s head, I think I’m gonna win this thing! (I’m glad I didn’t have to read Sarah Palin’s book too.)

    Maureen: HA! See how hard it is? Anyway, this rule doesn’t apply to my blog friends. YOU are all free to use it. It’s these OTHER sites and print publications that think they’re above everybody else. THEY WILL PAY!

    Leeuna: Thank you! It’s good to know I’ve got your support. Yes, I think this is indeed a wake-up call for the entire blogging community. Trademark your taglines! Protect them from Entertainment Ekly!

    carissajade: You’re absolutely right! They should be thanking ME for doing stuff so THEY don’t have to. Bah. Well, at least YOU were polite enough to thank me.

    Bingo: It IS a Shame! With a capital S!

    Margaret (Nanny Goats): I knew someone out there would have some connections. Thanks. I’m on the phone right now with Mr. Ohnson. They’re keeping me on hold for a long time for some reason . . .

    mrsblogalot: Woo! I got an outrage vomit! This canNOT continue. I won’t have innocent blog readers vomiting all over the place on my behalf.

    Kathryn: You know, come to think of it, I don’t think they DO know who I am. But they will find out. And yes, your method sounds very sensible, especially the part about Thai porn, as a kind of watermark for proof of authenticity. I’m RICH! RICH, I tells ya!

    Muskrat: I will. Boy, will I. I am STEAMING!

  37. 37 unfinishedrambler

    You probably could get Muskrat to represent you too in this case….or, er…maybe not. ;)

    But either way, you definitely have a case…

    of delusions of grandeur anyway. :O!
    .-= unfinishedrambler´s last blog ..My Little Pony Felicity and My Wife =-.

  38. 38 Jen

    I see that tag line now and again and always think of you when I do. I have come close to using it myself on my blog, because it really works well, but know how litigious you are and don’t want to get all courty with you. You should definitely write them a letter as well as send one to their parent company to see if you could get a gig doing the same thing in print, it would totally work. Their writers suck, how hard could it be to write about brainless celebutards? What you do takes some real talent.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Dads Are Like…. =-.

  39. 39 Anna

    Blatant rip-offery. totally!

    So are you going to read the Palin book? Because.. really.. I don’t want to have to.. and now I won’t be buying the Ekly out of principle!!!
    .-= Anna´s last blog ..Training Root over Rock and Multi Trunk Bonsai =-.

  40. 40 Katherine

    Man people are stoopid! And I’m with Ann…I agree with her.

    I have an assignment for you on my blog…swing by when you can. And as always, you know I love ya. I’m behind you 110%! You always have royalty on your side. ;) (Not that I’m sure I’d tell anyone that…but that’s up to you.) xx
    .-= Katherine´s last blog ..The White Flag of Surrender (Made of Underwear) =-.

  41. 41 JD

    unfinishedrambler: I thought about Muskrat. I think he’d do a good job. And I’d hope he’d do it for free . . . or at least for an I Do Things keychain.

    Jen: I swear, I’ll never get courty with any of my blog friends. And your thinking is EXACTLY in line with mine. As soon as I get a scrap of free time, I’m writing a letter. Soon it will be MY head (Now with Bumpits!) you see at the top of Entertainment Ekly!

    Anna: Heh! This is a conundrum, isn’t it? I really don’t want to read the Palin book, but I can take one for the team, just as a matter of principle. I REALLY don’t want any of you to have to do it.

    Katherine: Oh, I will tell the WORLD I have royalty behind me! That’s awesome! I’m on my way . . .

  42. 42 Sara

    I’m just grateful I don’t have to read the book:)

  43. 43 Shaky Jake

    Get your sue on!

    As if I really have to say this: your site is 1,000 times the site those impostor posters could ever hope to be…or sight. And the world should know it!
    .-= Shaky Jake´s last blog ..Poet, Celebrity, Creeper. =-.

  44. 44 erin

    There was a walmart commercial on the other day that totally made me think of you. The tag line was something to the effect of “we find the lowest prices… so you don’t have to”. Add them to your list! haha.
    .-= erin´s last blog ..Google Searches With Commentary =-.

  45. 45 JD

    Sara: That’s the ONLY good thing to come of all this.

    Shaky Jake: YESSSSSS! Oh, and thank you! They will know, my friend. They will know.

    erin: Oh, I’ll be more than happy to take on WalMart. As if I’m not perfectly capable of finding the lowest prices so you don’t have to. THE NERVE!

  46. 46 Starlight

    Good luck with that. Fight the power!
    .-= Starlight´s last blog .. =-.


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