By speaking, I mean reading. And by reading, I mean puking.
Who wants to come and watch me puke?
It all started as a harmless joke. Junk Drawer Kathy sent me the link from BlogHer asking for bloggers to submit a favorite post. The chosen posts would be read by their authors at the Community Keynote on Friday, July 24, of the BlogHer Convention. We laughed about how if either of us had to actually stand in front of people and talk, we’d puke, have a panic attack, or die. Or all three. Kathy urged me to submit a post, so, jokingly, I did.
And . . . OH MY ZOD! They picked me! What do I do? I guess I show up and read my damn post. It’ll be terrifying but fun. I’ll have to sleep on rollers for a week and lose 50 pounds in about a month. My mom’s advice: “Buy a nice dress. And not on ebay.” But what if I puke on it? Oh, come on now. I haven’t puked in public in months. It’ll be fine.
Seriously, I’m thrilled to be participating in the company of so many awesome bloggers. There are five categories—Epiphanies, Commentary, Family, Travel, and Humor—and four speakers for each category. Please check out my fellow Humor speakers:
Crap! I just peeked at their blogs. They are all funny.
Read the entire list of keynote speakers here
Are You Going to BlogHer?
Please come watch me puke—I mean, read. The Community Keynote starts at 5:00 on Friday.
Find me! Or tell me how to find you. The first ten people who come up to me and say, “You do things so I don’t have to” will be handed a FREE I Do Things sticker.
How will you know me? Oh, my darlings, have you not been paying attention? I’ll be the one with the big butt, the snarly hair, the huge honker, the scarred foot, the curvy spine, the bulbous goiter, the missing tooth, the mutant tongue. I might be eating bacon. I will not, however, be nude.
Also, I’ll be carrying a tote bag with my Sleeping Cat logo and I’ll be with Kathy, whom you will all recognize by her fabulous hair and and the constant stream of hilarious snark coming out of her mouth. I may also have a giant novelty flower in my hair. I’ll let you know.
Can’t Make It to BlogHer?
I have a fun, play-at-home game for you. The post I’m reading? Is a secret. So . . . you get to guess. GUESS THE POST! That’s it! The first person to guess which post I’ll be reading at BlogHer will WIN an item of their choice from my I Do Things store. Please write the title of the post in your comment. I cannot accept vague descriptions like “That one where you’re naked.” The contest will end at midnight, Thursday the 23d. After BlogHer, I’ll announce the winner.
I’ll also post the video. I’ll be the one puking, and Kathy will be the one holding my hair.