I Am Quirky

Don’t carry me too far away

too-high-plane1.jpg

Am I allowed to call myself quirky? Or is that something only other people can do? It’s sort of like calling yourself classy or complicated. I think we all secretly agree that quirky is good, even tho we may refer to our quirks somewhat disparagingly. Better quirky than eccentric. Better eccentric than weird. Better weird than . . . dead?

Thank you to Susan at My Right Brain for tagging me. Please click here to read her quirky post and the rules for this quirky meme. There are no rules here.

Six Quirky Things About JD
  1. I can’t fall asleep if my thumb is touching the rest of my hand. I have to clutch a piece of blanket or pillow to keep them separated. If they touch while I’m asleep, I’ll wake up feeling annoyed.
  2. When my brother and I were kids, we enjoyed pantomiming everything my mom said while she was talking on the phone. The fact that it enraged her made it even funnier. She couldn’t interrupt her conversation, so she’d snap her fingers at us so violently it sounded like gunfire. The quirk? We still do it.
  3. I feel safer on a plane when it’s taking off or landing. I know: statistically, these are the most dangerous times. But I figure, if you crash closer to the ground, you’ll sustain fewer injuries, right?
  4. I enjoy the sensation of eardrops trickling into my ear canal. Brrrr! Just thinking about it makes me shiver with anticip . . . ation.
  5. Before washing a plate, it must be rinsed off to the point that it is completely clean. Food particles floating around in the dishwater—especially if I touch one—will make me go into convulsions.
  6. I have to use an entire paper towel to pick up one crumb off the floor. I can’t touch the crumb with my fingers. This might somehow be related to #1 and #5. Maybe I suffered a traumatic experience involving crumbs in a waterbed?

Hmmph. These are boring quirks. But I used up all my good material here and here.

Bonus Quirks
  1. If a banana has too much of that black seedy stuff in the middle, I simply will not eat it.
  2. Standing in front of an elevator makes me feel dizzy.
  3. If you rub my kneecaps, it feels like there’s broken glass in there.
If you want to be quirky:

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Humor blogs are rife with quirks.

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29 Comments


29 Responses to “I Am Quirky”

  1. 1 Daisy the Curly Cat

    Oh my Cod! I HATE eardrops in the ear. Maybe next time, you can take my eardrops. Do you think you would mind using Oticleans?

    Daisy the Curly Cat’s last blog post..You can teach an old Daisy new tricks!

  2. 2 cardiogirl

    “She couldn’t interrupt her conversation, so she’d snap her fingers at us so violently it sounded like gunfire.”

    Props to yo’ momma for being able to make it sound like gunfire! Love that! And secondly, my kids just ask me annoying questions while I’m on the phone.

    My response is to take my index finger of my right hand and bang it against my silent “shhh” lips to pantomime the internation symbol of “SHUT THE F– UP!!”

    It never works.

    I see a post like yours, only in *my* future. About 25 years from now when my kids blog about their childhood.

  3. 3 jennypenny

    Confirming once again (as if more confirmation were needed) that you may be the funniest person in the whole wide world, JD. I started cackling on No. 1 (what is it with your thumb touching your hand?) and was positively in the iron grip of unrestrained mirth by the time I reached the bonus quirks.

    Speaking of which:

    I won’t go near a plane. I don’t even like to see them traversing the space over my homey-house. Scares me sillier.

    Your poor, poor mother. I’ll bet she’s repeated my offspring-inspired mantra many times, or if she hasn’t and reads this, she will: “I shoulda had dogs.”

    I like TEARDROPS trickling into my ear so whenever possible I lie flat on my back to have a good cry. I’m sensitive; you’re weird.

    Why on earth would I rub your kneecaps, JD? And how did the broken glass get in there? Maybe it’s actually crumbs.

    And yes … it is way better to be weird than dead. I opt for weird every single time.

    jennypenny’s last blog post..We All Have Our Illusions

  4. 4 Regan

    Oh, I am so with you on number 5. When I have chicken ((dipping it in ketchup)) before I put the plate it the dish washer, my mom likes me to wash off extra ketchup. ALL OF IT MUST BE OFF. And down the sink. Or I just might die. Here’s my six quirks:

    1. Another ketchup one: If I’m watching a show downstairs while I’m eating something with ketchup, I can’t have the ketchup downstairs for more than a certain amount of time. It starts to stink, and I hate it.

    2. In math, we learned that if a number’s digits add up to a number divisible by three, its divisible by three. ((i.e. 534 is divisible by 3. 5 + 3 + 4 = 12)) Now, sometimes when I’m downstairs watching a show with my parents I have to see if the time on the clock is divisible by three.

    3. I don’t sleep with a top sheet, and I don’t find anything wrong with that.

    4. I like CHEEZ – ITZ, but not CHEESE NIPS

    5. I have to have a certain brand of milk. If I don’t, then I won’t drink it.

    6. I’m almost quirkless. My mom says I’m just annoying.

  5. 5 Jeff

    JD, you’re a mess! A hysterical lovable mess of course, but a mess just the same ;b

  6. 6 JD

    Daisy! I will gladly take your eardrops for you, as long as you think it’s safe for humans to take cat eardrops. Is it?

    cardiogirl: Yeah, she had a mean fingersnap. I can still hear it today. Made us flinch. You may want to try it. Something about that cracking sound . . . well, it did remind me of gunfire, after all.

    Boy, I hope I’m around to read your kids’ blogs.

    jennypenny: Oh, how you go on! Keep going. No, really, you’re too nice. Especially when your comment is funnier than my entire post.

    I can only get on a plane if I’m heavily sedated. But just the sight of one overhead is enough to make me shake.

    And, NO! Now you’ve put the idea in my head that there are crumbs in my kneecaps! Aaaarrggghh! I’ll have to cut them open to get them out!!!

    Regan: (1): I hear you about stinky ketchup. If I smell it after I’m done eating, I want to barf. (2): HA! That’s a good one. I’m in favor of any quirks that promote math skills. (3): Well, neither do I. (4): Now that is just plain strange. What, exactly, is the difference between an “itz” and a “nip”? (5): I used to be the same way when I drank milk. Anything but “my brand” tasted weird. (6): Well, you clearly are full of quirks, so I don’t know about the annoying part.

    Thank you for submitting your quirks!

    Jeff: Oh, dear. It’s true, isn’t it. Well, the “mess” part. I never knew how messy I was until I started this blog. Thank you!

  7. 7 Regan

    Well, CHEEZ-ITZ have a saltier flavor, and Cheese Nips have a bit of a sharper cheddar taste.

  8. 8 Babs - beetle

    No 1 – That’s hilarious! Mind you, I can’t stand my fingernails touching – eeerrrgh!

    No 2 – You annoying little brats!

    No 3 – I perfectly see that logic. I hate flying.

    No 4 – Can’t stand eardrops, but I can relate to the teardrops ;O)

    No 5 – I am just so like that. I rinse dishes under the tap, then soak them in hot soapy water and only then do I load them in the machine ha ha ha!

    No 6 – I’m OK with bread crumbs, but any other type get the paper towel treatment.

    Babs – beetle’s last blog post..Not guilty.

  9. 9 Tiggy

    Aircraft are dangerous at all times! Think about it, you never have a safety demonstration on trains or buses…

    Tiggy’s last blog post..Bill C-10: It’s Not Porn, It’s Art

  10. 10 Corrina

    TOTALLY picturing your mom snapping her fingers “violently” and I’m laughing hysterically! Even better that you guys still do that. LOL

    Corrina’s last blog post..Happy Hump Day

  11. 11 Fashion Paramedic

    Okay. It’s official: You’re quirky.

    The thumb thing had me laughing HARD. I can’t fall asleep if my breath hits my hand. The blanket has to cover my hand so it doesn’t feel my breath. Go figure!

    Fashion Paramedic’s last blog post..In the Ghet-to

  12. 12 Kathy

    You do know that if you rinse a plate until it’s clean, you probably don’t have to put it in the dishwasher, right? Can you explain to my husband that putting salad bowls in the dishwasher is nasty when half the salad is still in there and then we wind up with a miniature salad in the catch vent thing at the bottom of the dishwasher when the cycle is done and then we have to clean that out?

    @ Fashion Paramedic — I can’t breathe on my hand either.

    Kathy’s last blog post..1972: A Good Year for Ophthalmology

  13. 13 JD

    Regan: Ah, I see. Well, I’m afraid they’ll have to invent a CHEEZY Nips-Itz, as I like both salt AND cheddar.

    Babs – beetle: Heh. We were annoying little brats! I guess I could pick up a perfectly clean, large-ish breadcrumb with my bare hands. But nothing else, for sure.

    Tiggy: Excellent point. Although I’m usually too sedated to understand the safety demonstration.

    Corrina: And she STILL snaps her fingers! (Tho the sound is not quite as terrifying or violent.)

    Fashion Paramedic: Yay! I’m officially quirky. I kind of suspected. But then, so are you, with your breath-touching-your-hand phobia. Hee!

    Kathy: What is this with hand breathers?

    And now I have to confess: we don’t have a dishwasher. I wouldn’t have too much of a problem loading still-food-laden plates (but not half a salad, DAVE!, but I cannot abide food particles in my dish water. GROSS!

  14. 14 Canucklehead

    Wow – I look almost normal by comparison. The only thing close is that I cannot have my feet covered when I sleep – well, and I have a tendency to tuck the blanket bewteen my knees. Oh, and I hate planes – all parts of it – I medicate as well, as long as booze counts as medication. OK fine — I’m quirky too. Anyway, on to more important matters, you and Kathy were in my dream last night! It was set in Vegas and we were having a Indiana Jones type adventure (unspired by playing the video game with my son yesterday – who was also my sidekick in the dream.) Anyway, there were lots of karate and adventure – it was awesome. I’d love to tell you more but it ended when a 3-year-old bodyslammed me (in real life) which has made recollection frustrating difficult. Sadly, my wife was not in the dream which made telling her about quite … erm, awkward.

  15. 15 Shieldmaiden96

    1. I can’t write with chalk. I can’t TOUCH chalk. I thought that was weird until I had a teacher whose chalk was in this metal holder, she confessed she couldn’t touch it either. I had an art class once where they wanted us to use colored chalk on construction paper. Thinking about how that felt puts my teeth on edge.

    2. I’m a food inspector…when I eat something (no matter what it is) I have to look at each bite before I put it in my mouth. When I eat something like a burger, I look at it and decide strategically where my next bite will be from.

    3. People who use horribly overused cliches make me feel a violent rage. It passes in a few seconds, but its really intense while its happening. “Hard at work, or hardly working?” usually makes me squint at someone and imagine their surprise if I was sitting on their chest pummeling them with my fists.

    4. I sing in the grocery store while I’m shopping.

    5. I always eat the end of the bread at the top of the bag, but not the one at the bottom.

    Shieldmaiden96′s last blog post..Whatever you do…don’t mention the war….

  16. 16 Jeff

    These comments are too funny. You should start a regular “submit your quirks” feature just so we can all see how screwed up everyone else is – which in turn will help make us all feel less psycho.

    Here’s one of mine… I can “click” my thumbs by pressing them against the sides of the pointer fingers next to them. However, if I click the right thumb I HAVE to click my left thumb too so they’re in balance. I don’t have the ability to not click them both.

  17. 17 Natural

    number 1 is just funny.

    number 3 you’re just right. i feel safe on ground like i might be able to just walk away “without a scratch” but 35,000 feet in the air just doesn’t say i will survive.

    Natural’s last blog post..The First Pancake

  18. 18 JD

    Canucklehead: Oh, that’s funny. You, me, and Kathy in Vegas. And . . . yes, let’s not tell your wife. Not that we did anything wrong!

    Shieldmaiden96: No chalk for me, either. Or cliches. And number 5? That’s a good one. That’s like me being unable to eat the bottom end of a banana or pickle.
    Thanks for sharing your quirks!

    Jeff: I know! Maybe I’ll round up the best and do a “You Have Quirks so I don’t have to” post.

    And I can totally understand the need to click both thumbs. And that scares me.

    Natural: Right! Sure, you may get burned or bruised dropping from 40 feet, but you’re DEFINITELY dead dropping from 35,000 feet!

  19. 19 Alice

    I’m not sure that ‘quirky’ is the word you’re looking for. Maybe OCD?

    Muahahaha….

    Said the girl who can’t go to sleep if a drawer is open or if the sheets are rumpled or…

    Alice’s last blog post..Friday Randomness

  20. 20 Tim

    Good one, JD. I am impressed by your quirkiness, as always. I would suggest that you leave your knees intact, since I know for a fact that your body wold have efficiently absorbed all the crumbs years ago no matter how they got in there.

    Tim’s last blog post..My Favorite Playstation Game Cheats of All Time

  21. 21 Michelle Gartner

    You are a whack nut- and I mean that in a good way.

    As far as never your #5 goes; my kids do our dishes & they suck at it. So we have this white modern plates that everyone uses- but Mom (me) eats off these mustard tan fiestaware type vintage plates.

    The point is I can’t see the crap they didn’t get off the dishes. Also the old vintage plates have a texture- not like the smooth white modern dishes. When I feel the new plates- I know they aren’t clean. Now instead of yelling at people about how dirty the freshly cleaned dishes are- I use my special plates and am in denial about the filth. You have to live this way when you have five kids or you would go crazy…

    Michelle Gartner’s last blog post..Johnny Depp is Filming in Wisconsin- Why is this News?

  22. 22 floridagirlinsydney

    #3 made me get that nails on a chalkboard feeling, and #5 I am in total agreement with. You are freaking funny.

    floridagirlinsydney’s last blog post..What Are You, Colorblind???

  23. 23 JD

    Alice: Oh, boo. You just gave away the subject of my next post!

    Tim: Thanks, my friend. I don’t know how comforted I am by knowing my body has “absorbed all the crumbs,” but maybe I just won’t think about it.

    Michelle Gartner: Woo! “Whack-nut”! Thank you. Maybe I should switch to special plates. Or paper plates, so I don’t even have to worry about washing dishes anymore.

    floridagirlinsydney: Thank you! I’m glad so many other people share my quirks (or have worse ones).

  24. 24 The Chick

    Those are all pretty quirky, but the thumb thing? Hmmm. May be the quirkiest of them all!

    The Chick’s last blog post..‘Current’ Movie Reviews

  25. 25 Tim

    Hey, Michelle, that is exactly what we do at our house! We have yet to train our three children to consistently actually clean the dishes. I never feel them just in case I might find left-ons. I either use the super white dishes, or the textured dirt hiding ones. At least on the white ones I can throw it back in the sink if I’m worried. The textured ones I don’t look at to hard. The inbetween colored ones make me keep checking, so I just never use them.
    I always wonder what the children were doing to get the dents in those pots, though. It wasn’t washing them extra hard that did the damage!

    Tim’s last blog post..Is it Ethical to Use Playstation Game Cheat Codes?

  26. 26 Gizmo

    I snap my fingers at the kids still, and they do not respond appropriately just like you and your brother. I never thought they might be making fun of me! Now I am going to get a foghorn!

  27. 27 JD

    The Chick: Yeah . . . I guess that thumb thing is a bit weird. It started a few months ago. It’s a tactile thing. Only weirder.

    Tim: HA! Are we raising a nation of dishwashing-challenged children? Paper plates, people!

    Gizmo: Yes! A foghorn! That’s awesome. You know, I am physically unable to snap my fingers. Must be due to some sort of trauma related to the gun-firing sound.

  28. 28 Jay

    Ah – another Rocky Horror fan!

    I loved this meme. I’ve just done it on my own blog and put the finger on a few victims… um, I mean, fellow bloggers who might be interested. ;)

    Jay’s last blog post..Quirky? Moi??

  29. 29 JD

    Jay: I’m on my way to check it out. Do you have anything quirkier than my Number 1 quirk?


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