I Am in the Hospital

And it’s a hospital with pretty spotty wi-fi, so I’ll have to make this quick.

Never mind why I’m here; it’s unimportant. Rest assured I’ll be fine and home soon — and more important, I will have a good blog post for you (Hint: it will include words like “commode” and “syrup-stained gown”!)

Anyway, I’m sorry but I have to postpone the Caramel Milky Way contest. NO! This is not a ruse to cover up the fact that I ate them all. I have photographic proof that I am actually in the hospital. In a syrup-stained gown! So please hang on. The contest WILL take place, probably early next week.

Miss you guys!

Hospitalized JD

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62 Responses to “I Am in the Hospital”

  1. 1 Sheila

    I am sorry you are in the hospital and hope you are feeling better and home soon. For the record, I worried about you and what happened to you BEFORE I worried about the Milky Ways….
    take care~

  2. 2 Ron

    Oy chee mamba….you’re in the hospital???

    Hope all is well, JD.

    We’ll be awaiting your next blog post with bated breath.

    Be sure to take photos of that syrup-stained hospital gown and commode.

    Miss ya! You take care.
    .-= Ron´s last blog ..Happy Valentines Day! =-.

  3. 3 babs - beetle

    This is not good! Poo to the Milky Ways, It’s JD I care about! I hope it was nothing too serious, and that you are feeling better really soon.
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Platform disaster! =-.

  4. 4 janine@phantomzucchini

    Oh man you will do anything for us, won’t you??? Glad you’ve checked in with us – you know I worry.

    Don’t worry about me though – I can live without the Milky Way, ok, I can’t live all that well, but I’ll live nevertheless, so forget about me because it’s about you now.

    Hope you feel better soon and write everything down because with all the great pharmaceuticals at your disposal, you might forget some of the good stuff.
    .-= janine@phantomzucchini´s last blog ..Wrap it Up!! =-.

  5. 5 Eddy

    Get well soon.

  6. 6 Karen & Gerard Zemek

    Take care, JD! Hope everything will be okay for you.
    .-= Karen & Gerard Zemek´s last blog ..The Latest Entrecard Drama–Cornyman’s Accusations of Ghost Droppers =-.

  7. 7 Kathy

    Dear Hospitalized JD,
    I’m not worried about the contest delay. What I’m worried about is whether they let you keep your underpants. I just re-read your I Had Surger…a Procedure post and I know that keeping your underpants is a high priority for you. So let us know: are you still with your underpants?

    Get well soon, chickadee and we’ll see ya on the flipside!

  8. 8 Angelika

    Get well soon!

  9. 9 Ann's Rants

    Wow, we are both very charitable this week (I got bankrobbed so you didn’t have to, JD)

    Seriously, though I hope you come out better than before (read: huge new angelina lips)

    Get well soon! I hope it really isn’t anything to worry about.


  10. 10 Buggys

    Hopefully it isn’t too serious and you’ll be home soon. Of course we expect a great story from this!
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..No Toilet Paper! =-.

  11. 11 Jaffer

    {Chomp CHOMP} I’m eating a twix bar so you don’t have to.

    Come back soon JD ! Best Wishes ! :-)
    .-= Jaffer´s last blog ..Monday for meeting… tuesday for talking… =-.

  12. 12 Jay

    I’m sorry to hear you’re in hospital. Sounds like you’ll get a decent blog out of it, though – and I know you will! LOL!

    I hope you’re OK, and will be out soon.
    .-= Jay´s last blog ..Finding Beauty – the roses =-.

  13. 13 Grace

    Can’t wait for THAT post. I trust you will be home soon feeling better and best.
    .-= Grace´s last blog ..How can I ignore thee? Let me count the ways… =-.

  14. 14 mrsblogalot

    Get better and back soon !!!!
    .-= mrsblogalot´s last blog ..The 9 to 5 Lesbian =-.

  15. 15 Puglette

    holy cow! i am sorry to hear you are hospitalized. i seriously wish you to get well soon. i do, however, wonder if this is caramel related. caramel syrup??
    feel better soon.
    big hugs,
    .-= Puglette´s last blog ..Meet the Neighbors! =-.

  16. 16 dcr

    This is quite the quandary. Either those Milky Way bars are so bad they put you in the hospital or so good that you wound up in the hospital. Either way, now I’m not sure about these things…

    Seriously though, hope everything is okay and that it wasn’t anything major. And get well soon!
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Dancing Monkeys Wearing Shirts that are Orange =-.

  17. 17 CatLadyLarew

    I already had my trip to the ER this year, so you really didn’t have to do that for me, JD. Honest. Hope you’re feeling better soon!
    .-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall…. Who’s that in the Arnolfini Portrait? Theme Thursday =-.

  18. 18 absepa

    Oh noes! I’m so sorry to hear you’re in the hospital. Could it have been caramel poisoning? Take care and feel better soon!
    .-= absepa´s last blog ..Four whole days! =-.

  19. 19 GregoryJ

    You are not in the hospital BECAUSE you ate the Milky Ways are you?
    Caramel syrup stain,
    or SMOKING GUN???

    Take care,
    feel better, no, not the orderlies, better
    Can’t wait to hear about it.
    .-= GregoryJ´s last blog ..PC is up and running. =-.

  20. 20 Surfie

    Oh my! I’ve never had to be in the hospital before. I hope you’re all better soon.

    Now about this syrup…are we talking chocolate or maple?
    .-= Surfie´s last blog ..I Love My Electric Blanket =-.

  21. 21 Daisy

    Oh dear, now I am worried about you! I hope you feel better, and I especially hope you have a fashionable and stylish hospital gown.

  22. 22 Stephanie Barr

    I am very sorry you’re in the hospital. I hope you start feeling better soon.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..Hiatus Interruptus – For Jeff King: Where Will We Go? =-.

  23. 23 Jen

    Sorry to hear you are in the hospital. I hope everything comes out okay (unless it already did). Get back soon.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Zhu Zhu Pets and Barbies =-.

  24. 24 TheWordWire

    Oh man – you’re going to make us wait because you’re in the hospital? I guess that’s fair. Get better soon.
    .-= TheWordWire´s last blog ..Were You The One Who Saved A President’s Life? =-.

  25. 25 Kelly

    i hope you’re feeling well soon. you will definitely be missed!
    .-= Kelly´s last blog ..Let the Games Begin =-.

  26. 26 Bernie

    You will do anything for your readers. How kind of you to head off to the hospital, so we don’t have to. A syrup stained gown, its not chocolate syrup is it?

    Seriously, I hope that you are your usual fun and sarcastic self soon. Just take care of you. We will all be waiting for your return.
    .-= Bernie´s last blog ..Cold Water To Rinse Dishes? =-.

  27. 27 Lauren

    Feel better. No more candy bars! Can’t wait to hear about the syrup stained-gown and commode. Damn those hospital Internet providers and their spotty service, unless your brain was spotty from all the pills.
    .-= Lauren´s last blog ..WTF Friday: Shopping Center Considers Women Special Needs Drivers. =-.

  28. 28 Monique

    I am not a fan of hospitals so I hope you are home soon and better than ever. :)
    .-= Monique´s last blog ..Oh How I Have Neglected Thee =-.

  29. 29 Katherine

    Well crap, JD. You are not allowed to just belly up to the IVs. Anyone who Blew the Nostril should not be hospitalized…it just doesn’t make sense.

    I hope you are ok – my thoughts and prayers are with you. As well as my stain stick. xx
    .-= Katherine´s last blog ..Wanna Win a Flip? The Video Boss & Patina Soul =-.

  30. 30 Florida Girl In Sydney

    Oy Vey!!! I know I’ve been so out of commission– we’ve had a major puppy drama here– it was BAD– more on that later. I hope you’re okay!!! Get well soon JD! xoxo
    .-= Florida Girl In Sydney´s last blog ..Florida Girl in Florida =-.

  31. 31 ann

    Oh my, I would gladly send YOU a caramel milky way if you will just hurry back. Hope you’re feeling better soon
    .-= ann´s last blog ..Good deed for the day =-.

  32. 32 Shelly

    Ohhh, I hope you get sprung from the joint soon!
    .-= Shelly´s last blog ..Unconditional Love =-.

  33. 33 Noelle

    Sadly, your hospitalization did not prevent mine a few years ago. I know how it can suck, so I hope that you are at least collecting the blog fodder, which makes it all better.
    .-= Noelle´s last blog ..Comfort food =-.

  34. 34 Dymphnasis

    Dear JD,
    I was recently introduced to your blog by a source who seems quite reliable. I am so sorry to hear you are in the hospital and being introduced to such pleasantries as commodes and stains of any sort on those oh, so very attractive hospital gowns. Coincidentally I am a nurse. Trust me there are so many worse hospital apparatus such as rectal tubes and catheters. The list is truly endless. I hope you will make a swift and uneventful recovery. I am enjoying your blog, however, hope you never feel compelled to visit some exotic tropical locale on my behalf. I know your aim is to help, but I fell as though I should tough something like that out myself. Have you per chance had a root canal or dental implant yet so I won’t have to?
    Seriously, get well soon. I’m sure you will. You are in the very good hands of many caring doctors, nurses and other health care professionals. Of course, I am a bit biased, but those folk rock, and they want to do everything within their means to help you recover.
    Sincerely, Dymphnasis (New found fan)

  35. 35 Dymphnasis

    Medical personnel take all of their oaths and responsibilities very seriously. This includes their respect of your privacy (google HIPAA). I add this just to reassure you (based on other comments) that if indeed they (the hospital) did take your underwear away, or sneakily substituted them with those incredibly attractive hospital fishnet undies, or if you drool in your sleep, etc. no one will ever know. What happens in the hospital, stays in the hospital. (Sadly, far less fun than Vegas, or so I have been told.)

  36. 36 Lola

    You’ll do just about anything for a blog post, won’t you?

    Hope it isn’t serious and hope your better and back home soon. I’m sure Gus and Pru miss you.
    .-= Lola´s last blog ..Sunday Stealing =-.

  37. 37 Kathryn

    Oh, poor JD!
    (Or, is it poor hospital staff?)

    Will you have them sign waivers before you leave? Will they get suspicious if they see you typing and peering at their name tag
    at the same time??

    Maybe you’d better start thinking up “stage names” for them, now.

    Are you they calling you “that sticky patient in room 204″??

    I’m glad they let you keep your sense of humor, sweetie.

    You’re in my thoughts….and I hope Dave can spring you just as soon
    as you’re ready to go.

    .-= Kathryn´s last blog ..Dig It =-.

  38. 38 Barb at WillThink4Wine

    What kind of hospital IS that with spotty wi-fi? You should complain! And be afraid. If they can’t get THAT right, I’d be concerned about everything else.

    Feel less syrup-y soon!
    .-= Barb at WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..Welcome Home =-.

  39. 39 erin

    JD! So sorry to hear you are in the hospital. I hope you get well soon!
    .-= erin´s last blog ..For My Valentine =-.

  40. 40 Will

    I reached for something Friday at work and got a stabbing pain in my lower back. It has been very sore since and feels like I could have ended up in the hospital. Thank you for doing it for me so I can nurse this at home. I never had a back pain before, but now I have new sympathy for those that do!
    .-= Will´s last blog ..Seed Catalog Time! =-.

  41. 41 Maureen

    Holy crap JD!!! I do hope you are okay and will be back with many hilarious stories of your experience.

    But believe me, you don’t have to go to such lengths for us.


    Take care and get home to some decent Wi-Fi soon! ;)
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..What I Didn’t Know =-.

  42. 42 Jaya

    Well, first, I sure do hope you’re telling the truth about your getting out of there soon. And second, I want to REALLY thank you for going to the hospital so I don’t have to, because those places creep the heck out of me!! Urrrrg!

  43. 43 Jorge

    You ate the bars didn’t you? So that we don’t have to. Anyways.. I hope you feel better soon!

    .-= Jorge´s last blog ..Different Kinds Of Mortgage Rates =-.

  44. 44 Kathleen Kaufman

    Ugh! I certainly did not want to the contest to end like this! I appreciate you taking the hit for all of us and eating the hospital food so we don’t have to.

    Feel better!
    .-= Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog ..The Truthiness of Fiction =-.

  45. 45 Susie

    Hey JD,
    I am a regular reader of your blog but have never commented. Well, maybe this is the right time?
    Take care, get well soon and keep us all updated, okay?
    Love from Germany,

  46. 46 curious_girl

    proof!!! ^ ^,

  47. 47 Jenn of Many Cabbages

    Wishing you all the best, JD!
    .-= Jenn of Many Cabbages´s last blog ..The First Presidential Mardi Gras Birthday Party =-.

  48. 48 Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)

    Since you say you will be out in no time. Consider this a get well card.

    Certainly wouldn’t want the WiFi to interfere with the telemetry. Looking forward to the who, what, where, when, and why this all happened.

    Sure hope you’re feeling better soon.
    .-= Christopher (AKA: CaJoh)´s last blog ..F2: Is Love in the food? =-.

  49. 49 Bingo

    I hope you will get better soon. Don’t worry about the contest hun.
    .-= Bingo´s last blog ..Superstitions – Love potions and spells =-.

  50. 50 Patricia

    Anyone who can (will) post on their blog while in the hospital should win an award! Hope you are feeling better pronto!
    .-= Patricia´s last blog ..Photo Finish =-.

  51. 51 MomZombie

    Oh, no! Now you have me wondering so many things: What kind of syrup? What shape is the stain? Who did this to you? Did the contest get ugly?
    All joking aside, get well soon and get back to doing things for us outside the health care system.
    .-= MomZombie´s last blog ..Presidents, Pitocin and pipe attacks =-.

  52. 52 Lidian

    Oh dear, I hope you are all better and out of there pronto! Take it easy and worry not about contests, candy bars or blogging for that matter – just take care of yourself!

    xx Lidian
    .-= Lidian´s last blog ..The Kreml Three Stooges’ Valentine’s Day =-.

  53. 53 Jeff

    Aww sweetie… So sorry I missed this post. I haven’t been on blogs for days. In fact you’re probably already home and feeling better by now. Heck, you’re probably doing the Hula Hoop to Richard Simmons in your living room! At least that is my hope.

    If not, please get better quickly. Thank you.
    .-= Jeff´s last blog ..And if we’re lucky, Debby Harry and Robin Leach may show up! =-.

  54. 54 Brian H.

    Looking forward to your next post post hospital.

    In regard to the candy, you’ll have to give away some Reeses Cups to get me to fall off my candy wagon : )
    .-= Brian H.´s last blog ..The Epson Artisan 50 may be the right printer for your needs =-.

  55. 55 V

    my sixth sense had you on my radar girlfriend, i knew something was wrong, you’ve been too quiet, but i didn’t think you were in the hospital. OMG!

    we’ll be waiting for you. feel better.

  56. 56 moooooog35

    Don’t worry, I hear vaginal rejuvenation is a cakewalk these days.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..How to Clamscape Using the Disney Method =-.

  57. 57 Chris@TheSnackHound

    I guess you are wanting to do field research inspired by my “Hospital Food Week” posts from a year or two ago LOL. Please get well soon. Unless you are there for some sort of enhancement, such as converting your skeletal structure to adamantium and or adding springs to the bottom of your feet. In those cases, I would say, just be careful. They take time to get used to.
    .-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Dying on Facebook =-.

  58. 58 Lin

    CRAP! How come it took me three days to find out that you are in the hospital???! Poor thing. I hope you are okay. Did you sunburn your bum too much on vacation? Eat too many of those pee-covered caramel bars from PetSmart?? Yikes.

    Get better soon and be sure to snag one of those snappy gowns on your way out. Lola and I are hoping to meet you for lunch one of these days–when you are feeling better.

  59. 59 Your Daily Cute

    Well, I sure hope everything is OK!

    And please don’t get any syrup on the Caramel Milky Ways. That’s just yucky.
    .-= Your Daily Cute´s last blog ..Two Cats Tuesday: We’re "The Beach Boys!" =-.

  60. 60 JD

    Can I just give you all a big group hug?

    Your comments made me laugh (and weep, for I am just that emotional) and were a HUGE boost while I was in the hospital.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!


  61. 61 Sarah

    Hi JD -

    I am sorry to hear you were in the hospital. I hope you feel better soon.

    Love, cousin Sarah

  62. 62 meleah rebeccah

    OH NO! Ive been offline for a few days and I missed this post! I hope you are all better and out of there by now?
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Doing Things Differently – My Week In Review [Part Two] =-.


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