If you go down to the woods today
You’d better not go alone

Hey, let me ask you guys something.

Has anyone ever chased you around with a whisk broom? While you were naked? And giggling?

I’m willing to bet this has happened to maybe 1% of our population, and yet this is the scenario dreamt up by the great minds at Charmin for their latest ad campaign:

“Pieces Left Behind”

It has sort of a melancholy ring, don’t you think? Pieces left behind . . . It’s poignant, in a way, and—

OHMYGOD No it isn’t because they are talking about TOILET PAPER stuck to your BUTT!

To. Your. Butt.

Toilet paper.

If you don’t believe me, watch this short horror film wherein two cartoon bears cavort through the forest, one chasing the other, trying to sweep off the PIECES LEFT BEHIND.

Charmin Bears Horror Film

I have so many questions.

When did this become a problem? If you accept the premise that our toilet paper is indeed leaving pieces (on? in? around?) our butts, how come we’ve never seen the evidence? I mean, I don’t go around checking my butt (naked, at least), but I bet I’d notice hunks of soggy TP floating toward the drain in my shower.

Also, Charmin, may I point out that humans are not, in fact, bears? We usually wear clothes. Therefore, the horrifying embarrassment of toilet paper stuck to our naked butts in public is not so much a big deal.

Unless.

Oh, dear god. I am not a bear, nor do I frolic in the woods, BUT! I have been known to appear in public in only my birthday suit and . . . maybe also PIECES LEFT BEHIND???

What if all those curious stares and muttered comments at our au naturel resort were NOT about the awesome gravity-defying qualities of my naked butt? What if . . .

I can’t even think about it. Can you? If so, DON’T! Don’t think about those Pieces Left Behind, and it’ll be like it was before. Ignorance is bliss. We can all go back to the time when we didn’t know we had toilet paper stuck to our butts.

Or we can just go buy this magical non-Piece-Behind-Leaving toilet paper.

But then the bears will win.

____________________

Bear came from here

<object width=”425″ height=”344″><param name=”movie” value=”http://www.youtube.com/v/vBNcQgkXEWE&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0×006699&color2=0x54abd6″></param><param name=”allowFullScreen” value=”true”></param><param name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always”></param><embed src=”http://www.youtube.com/v/vBNcQgkXEWE&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0×006699&color2=0x54abd6″ type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” allowscriptaccess=”always” allowfullscreen=”true” width=”425″ height=”344″></embed></object>
Be Sociable, Share!



107 Comments


107 Responses to “I Am Going to Forget I Ever Saw This”

  1. 1 moooooog35

    Apparently, your husband has a nice hairless ass and not one covered in razor-sharp barbs of follicular death in which to trap said Charmin.

    Maybe it's just me.

  2. 2 Jaffer

    JD: Has anyone ever chased you around with a whisk broom? While you were naked? And giggling?

    Jaffer: Yes ! Ofcourse ! But that was when I was much cuter and much much smaller – and only when I was being very naughty. (giggles)

    You say only 1% of the population has experienced it – what a sad life do the rest of Americans live then !

  3. 3 Tracy O'Connor

    Spotted at a local Walgreens some months ago:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/7862253@N06/331986
    Screw you charmin, my ass is getting a bidet!

  4. 4 RonnieC

    “Has anyone ever chased you around with a whisk broom? While you were naked? And giggling?”

    No, but someone HAS chased me around with a whisk broom, while trying to tell me that a piece of toilet paper was STUCK TO MY SHOE.

    And giggling AT me!

    HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA!

    Yeah see…this is WHY I use Scotts, NOT Charmin!

    GREAT post, girl!

  5. 5 redheadranting

    Every time I see this commercial I ponder the very same things. I don't worry about my butt, because I learned how to wipe my ass when I was 2 but I do worry about the bears.

    Honestly, I can't stand Charmin, it's like wiping with down comforter, it is just too plush. Give a roll of Scotts that will last a year before I have to change it.

    Yes, I have been chased by someone with a whisk broom while naked, and there were giggles. Though not because I had dingleberries.

  6. 6 Pricilla

    Being a goat and a natural goat at that I don't use toilet paper.
    If presented with both toilet paper and that tasty whisk broom I might just nibble away happily.

    Straw is quite yummy.

    Now Abby has been chased by a not so happy publicist with a broom but that is another story altogether.

  7. 7 puglette

    i think the general population of the USA finds these ads offensive and disturbing. i mean really, i do not wipe toilet paper all over my butt cheeks. and even if i did, i am pretty sure i would not leave bits all over. i really don't understand why toilet paper even needs advertisements. we all know what it is and where to get it.

    maybe charmin has stock in the whisk broom companies and needs the boost in sales?
    i must go off to ponder these cosmic thoughts.
    hugs,
    puglette
    :)

  8. 8 JD at I Do Things

    Charmin has GOT to know how gross these ads are. You're so right: we know how to use TP, already! And most of us have figured out which brand we like and that is THAT. Grrr. Let me know what your pondering leads to.

  9. 9 JD at I Do Things

    Pricilla, I'm sure you're a very dignified goat, but a video of a goat using toilet paper would be hilarious. Please consider it.

    Also please consider elaborating on that Abby-broom story.

  10. 10 JD at I Do Things

    Ooookay! Some very interesting whisk broom stories are surfacing around here. I need more details. Especially if the stories don't include dingleberries. Have the Charmin ads addressed THAT particular issue? I can't imagine they haven't.

  11. 11 JD at I Do Things

    Hooray for Scotts! (And thank you!) Boy, you people and your whisk broom stories. I need to get out more.

  12. 12 JD at I Do Things

    ARRRGGGH!

    How dare they? So gross! Because “little pieces” could refer to more than just TP. God.

  13. 13 Pricilla

    I am sure that I would be too tempted to EAT the toilet paper before I got it where it needed to be.

    And as to the Abby tale….a nanny never tells. A publicist might some day but a nanny keeps her secrets.

  14. 14 JD at I Do Things

    Well, I hope even your very young and naughty self knew enough not to run around with TP all over your butt!

    I guess we Americans are pretty sad. However, I have to admit that “1%” was just a guess. Perhaps I should do more research.

  15. 15 JD at I Do Things

    It's just you. My husband's ass hair is as fine as a baby's . . . ass.

  16. 16 redheadranting

    I think your 1% estimate is probably pretty low. At least if your comments
    are any indication. If I had a dingleberry on my butt, or was running around
    naked with someone who had a dingleberry on his butt, I'd probably get
    dressed again. I'm not sure of the proper way to handle a dingleberry. Is it
    like a booger hanging off someone's nose, are you required to say something?

  17. 17 Jaffer

    Yuck ! well, they could have just said “Dingleberries” and be over with !

  18. 18 flit

    It truly is a ridiculous commercial – talk about trying to invent problems where none exist.

    Reading your comments reminded me of an experience I had answering a marketing survey. The woman was asking all these inane questions – and then she got to a bunch about toilet paper: how many sheets do you use for this? for that?

    At which point I was no longer willing to ~play~ …. she whined that she only got paid for completed surveys – somehow I doubt she earned much – the next questions were about tp and menstruation.

    Some things are just not meant to be discussed at a table in a mall – or anywhere, if y'ask me.

    Or maybe I'm just a prude.

  19. 19 puglette

    i have pondered this while reading my reader's digest while using the facilities. as is only appropriate for the subject mater. i still say this is not something i need to have advertised. i am quite capable of being a discerning shopper without having bears wiggle toilet paper encrusted hineys in my face.

    i just read Flit's comment about inane survey questions and it brought to mind a job application I was filling out many years ago. This was for a job as a temporary clerical worker. The job app had questions about bathroom frequency, both number one and number two. And also how long you spent at each task. When I got to those questions I had had enough. I stormed to the front desk and asked why they needed to know such things, I was told that their clients wanted to know this as a measure of how reliable and industrious a worker would be. I let them know that if that was the concern of their clients that these were not companies I cared to work with. I left in a huff.

    I agree with Flit that there are certain subjects that need not be discussed…unless of course they are for humorous blog purposes!!
    more hugs,
    :o)

  20. 20 babs (beetle)

    I realize that maybe not everybody does, but I always wash after a poo! (you really needed to know that didn't you?) Even if I didn't, I know I would not leave bits of paper stuck there! What do they think we are, babies? I think it's an insulting, and distasteful ad. I can't imagine it would boost sales. Rant over.

  21. 21 babs (beetle)

    I hate to say this but I just left a comment and clicked 'post' it hung and disappeared. I am not happy, and can't be ***** to type it all again. Especially if it has bits stuck to it!

    Oops! It's here now ;)

  22. 22 stephanieebarr

    No thanks, this is one thing I'd rather do myself as well as all the logic you put behind it.

  23. 23 JD at I Do Things

    Smart lady.

  24. 24 JD at I Do Things

    Sigh. Disqus, we barely know each other. Why must you keep breaking my heart and brain? Now, Babs: tell me what those asterisks stand for. If Disqus will let you.

  25. 25 JD at I Do Things

    Thank you for that insight into your personal habits. Hey, it's a good habit. Isn't that why French people have bidets? And other cultures just throw you a rag and a pitcher of water. At least no pieces get left behind.

  26. 26 JD at I Do Things

    Naw, you're not a prude. I hope this post didn't offend you too much. It's the commercials I blame. Why bring all that stuff up in public? WE ALL KNOW HOW TO DO IT!

  27. 27 JD at I Do Things

    Well, I shall look forward to the day the publicist spills all. I respect your nanny protocol.

  28. 28 JD at I Do Things

    I'm lucky never to have encountered a dingleberry either on myself or another person (tho frequently on my cats), so I don't know the etiquette. I think getting dressed and/or urging the other person to get dressed is the safest option.

  29. 29 JD at I Do Things

    But that's even MORE “yuck”! However, given the history of this ad campaign, I'm sure they'll find a way to work it in.

  30. 30 JD at I Do Things

    Geez, I don't even like sharing my toilet habits with Dave, much less total strangers.

    Tho I love hearing about the toilet habits of my beloved blog readers and friends!

  31. 31 Jaffer

    We have kettle type vessle in by the toilet – which we use to wash our butts after using the Charmin (oops !). See pictures http://www.google.ca/images?q=lota

    I never feel “fresh” unless I've used it ! (That's why I avoid pooping in bathrooms elsewhere)
    After tooth-brush, it's the next thing I pack when I travel. (Not together – mind you !)

  32. 32 sheilasultani

    I saw that commercial a while ago and was totally grossed out – I kept picturing little pieces of poo stuck all over the place. My kids have never had tp stucj on their asses but they do have doo stuck on their undies – can I get that out with a whisk broom? I usually just scream and throw it away. Who are the dingbats that come up with these commercials? Gotta be a man – they have hairy bear butts.

  33. 33 daisythecurlycat

    I am kind of confused about why the pieces of TP get stuck in the first place. Little bits of tissue don't normally stick to anything. Unless it's wet. Oh. Never mind.

  34. 34 babs (beetle)

    Don't laugh but Mo wants a bidet when we ever get a new bathroom.

  35. 35 babs (beetle)

    I can't be a**ed – the thing bits get stuck to ;)

  36. 36 babs (beetle)

    My thoughts exactly. Ewww!

  37. 37 redheadranting

    I don't miss those days of skid marks. They need to make disposable underpants. Oh, never mind.

  38. 38 redheadranting

    They look like a larger sized Neti pot.

  39. 39 redheadranting

    I grew up in a house with a bidet. My father thought it was something we must have (it was the 70's). My brother and all his friends used it like a urinal and I washed my feet it in it (that's kinda gross). I don't think anyone used it for it's intended purpose.

  40. 40 Sparkle

    I'm surprised no one has made a commercial for kitty litter that doesn't stick to your paws. But I'm sure it's coming.

  41. 41 CarissaJaded

    Well I can see why bears have the problem whereas we don't so much. At least us women. One of my guy friends informed me the other day that he often gets it stuck and I said he was gross. He said, “well maybe it's because I have hair and you don't”

    Makes some sense.

    But still.. this is disturbing on so many levels. Now I'm going to be a lot more conscious about my butt after I go-go.

  42. 42 JunkDrawer

    I hate Charmin too. Well, specifically the “Ultra Strong” variety. Do you know how many times we needed to flush and reflush , or worse, plunger, the toilet after using it? We buy the “Ultra Soft” kind, which isn't much better. They claim you will use less of it because it's so thick. But let's be realistic. Everyone uses too much. And add to that our toilets are low-flow and you have a recipe for much bathroom frustration.

    JD — I never saw that commercial before because I hate all of the bears ones. I hate all commercials, really. Thanks for keeping me abutt, oops, abreast of the latest in toilet paper issues that are on the minds of many bears. The poor things.

  43. 43 JD at I Do Things

    Interesting. And I have a Neti pot that I've always been afraid to use on my nostrils. Hmmm.

  44. 44 JD at I Do Things

    OK! Just 2 more asterisks to go!

  45. 45 JD at I Do Things

    Ah . . . kids and skid marks. Yeah, I probably would've screamed and thrown them away too. You don't want those skid marks touching all your other dirty laundry, right?

  46. 46 JD at I Do Things

    But, see, your whole entire BUTT shouldn't be wet, right? And surely you're not wiping your whole entire butt, tho I guess if the whole thing were wet, then maybe you would.

    I'm probably wasting my time, asking YOU these questions, Daisy!

  47. 47 JD at I Do Things

    I know they have commercials for litter that doesn't get all over your floor. But that's more a problem for humans, I guess.

  48. 48 JD at I Do Things

    Geez, if I were a guy, I would totally shave my butt. How could you live with that? I mean, a hairy butt in the first place is kind of awful. What I'm talking about is a LOT of hair. Shave it off, guys. You'll thank me.

  49. 49 JD at I Do Things

    “But let's be realistic. Everyone uses too much.”

    So true. If toilet makers and toilet paper makers would just acknowledge this, we'd all be a lot happier.

    And I am totally stealing “abutt.” Not sure yet how I plan to use it, but it will be used.

  50. 50 babs (beetle)

    OK, I see you're determined to make me use a profanity. It is 'I can't be arsed' – as in fanny ;)

  51. 51 muskrat

    muskrats don't have this problem. bears are disgusting.

  52. 52 dcr

    I worst part is that I bet that isn't a dedicated whisk broom. I mean, the momma bear dusts off fecal-tainted toilet paper residue from the little bear's buttom (see what I did there?), and then probably goes back to sweeping up dirt off the kitchen floor.

    Then again, if the “toilet” is outside next to a tree, I bet they don't have a kitchen either. Or a house. So why does momma bear have a whisk broom?

    Why do the bears have toilet paper? Why don't they just rub themselves across the lawn? Like, you know, dogs and cats do on your carpet?

  53. 53 dcr

    After posting a comment, I have to reload the page about 5 times for the comments (all of them, not just mine) to show up again.

  54. 54 babs (beetle)

    I saw a video once of a man doing a sexy strip for his wife. He turned his back to her, slid his jeans down and wiggled his bum. His wife screamed. He turned to her (which meant his back was to the camera) and he had a large skid mark on his pants!! It was gross! Don't men know when this happens. More to the point, HOW does it happen?

  55. 55 LJ

    Some folks just have hairy butts. I'm just sayin'

  56. 56 Patricious Delicious

    I, too, have seen this commercial and was similarly disgusted. I always think that perhaps some (male) advertising executive (whom I'll picture as the fabulously handsome Don Draper……) um……..right then, that some advertising executive thought it'd be a fun play on the Captain Obvious quote 'Does a bear s$%t in the woods?' Which, they do, according to my paramour here, Mr. Draper.

    I was recently on a frugal kick and searched around for tips to save some dough/planet. Mostly dough. One of the sites, a particular woman was hemming and hawing over her three year old using too much toilet paper–more than her alloted three squares. Three squares?! And the kid only got two for numero uno. Me? I'd just be glad that the kid was going IN the toilet at three. Then it got onto 'have a garden' and 'cut you and your family's hair' and 'use sandpaper on your legs instead of shaving them with disposable razors.' After the description of the woman sandpapering her legs IN bed while reading that I decided I'd rather buy veggies and thoroughly wipe and be poor instead of making Don and I have rules regarding the toilet paper.

    Finally, I hate what I call 'Communist Toilet Paper,' the sort that schools and offices use. The kind that feel like your sandpapering your private bits–maybe that would solve the 'bits left behind' problem–just wipe with sandpaper for awhile, the hair is gone, and no sticky bits! Horray!

    Mr. Draper and I are going to go check into the Waldorf to eat some questionable salads…toodles!

    P.S. Disquis won't let me log in, so just imagine a gorg pic of me.

  57. 57 Margaret (nannygoats)

    Hey, where did you take the picture of the bear sitting on the toilet? Is that your backyard?

    Also, in these nudist resorts you hang out at, what do you do when there is that telltale ring around the butt (another marketing slogan) because somebody was sitting on the can for a while?

    Which leads me to my next question…Which slogan do you like better, “Pieces left behind” or “ring around the butt”?

  58. 58 Margaret (nannygoats)

    I went to school with a Harry Butz. Not really, but it had to be said by someone.

    Anyway, I guess since bears have really really hairy butts, then they would be the ones with a real toilet paper problem. I mean, if they actually used toilet paper. In the forest.

  59. 59 Margaret (nannygoats)

    Except look what Charmin's marketing department has succeeded in doing. Getting us to talk about it so much that every time we go to the grocery store and walk down the toilet paper aisle, we will think about hairy butts and cartoon bears and poo and bidets and I Do Things So You Don't Have To and blogging and whatever else. This is what they call “branding”, I guess.

  60. 60 Lin

    I have never had that problem so the commercial doesn't work for me. Now if they had a bear walking in high heels through a restaurant with toilet paper stuck to their shoes……..

  61. 61 JD at I Do Things

    HAHAHAHA! I knew all along it was “arsed,” I just wanted to make you say it. That's one of my favorite “British” sayings. I'm going to say it ALL DAY TODAY!

  62. 62 JD at I Do Things

    Well, that's annoying. I'm sorry to everyone who's having trouble with Disqus. Its days may be numbered.

  63. 63 JD at I Do Things

    I think you're lucky the commercial didn't work for you. And please. Don't give them any more ideas.

  64. 64 JD at I Do Things

    So many questions!

    No, that's not our backyard. It's our neighbor's backyard. I've been trying to get a photo of that damn bear for months.

    Honestly, I've never noticed a ring around the butt, but(t) maybe I just haven't been looking closely enough. If we go back next year, I'll have a full report (with photos) for you.

    I'm gonna have to go with “ring around the butt.” But don't tell Charmin. You KNOW they'll find a way to incorporate that into their next commercial.

  65. 65 JD at I Do Things

    Thank you for addressing the elephant in the room and getting “Harry Butz” out of the way. (I went to college with a guy named Rick Slutsky, but that is neither here nor there.)

    I really don't need to think about bears' butts.

  66. 66 JD at I Do Things

    They ARE disgusting. Why are they wiping TP all over their butts? That's the problem, right there. Just put it where it needs to go, and you won't have any Pieces Left Behind.

  67. 67 JD at I Do Things

    It's true. Especially bears. But really only bears and very hairy men. That's why this ad campaign is full of FAIL.

  68. 68 JD at I Do Things

    I see what you did there.

    I would pay good money to see a Charmin commercial where the “rogue” bear is rubbing his butt on the grass, and then the “good” bear makes him use toilet paper. That would be awesome. I'd also like an expanded scenario where we see that momma bear use the whisk broom in her kitchen.

  69. 69 JD at I Do Things

    It would break my heart if Don Draper came up with this. I'd rather think it was Pete Campbell, and Don Draper slaps him down with merely a look, and Campbell slinks back to his office to come up with something else. Then Peggy saves the day by coming up with something tasteful and appropriate, and then Don Draper and I get married.

    Three squares is NOT enough. I'll admit it: I'm not doing the planet any favors regarding TP usage, but I make up for it by turning off the faucet while I'm brushing my teeth.

    That sandpaper toilet paper is the worst–especially when it's not even on a roll but is more like a “paper” towel situation.

    Now back away slowly from Don Draper. Leave the salad.

  70. 70 JD at I Do Things

    EWWWWWWWWW! MEN! Tell us how this happens! Or better yet, don't. Just do what Babs and Jaffer do and CLEAN IT UP! Even bears don't have skid marks.

  71. 71 JD at I Do Things

    If I Do Things can be associated with poo and hairy butts, then my work is done.

  72. 72 MomZombie

    The first time I saw this commercial I was in shock. I thought they were referring to pieces of something else left behind. Glad to know it's only toilet paper dangling down there and not, well, what bears do in the woods.

  73. 73 babs (beetle)

    Ha ha ha! I just KNEW you knew all along. You wicked woman :)))

  74. 74 dcr

    They eat food on the run a lot, so maybe bears frequently get explosive diarrhea?

  75. 75 JD at I Do Things

    But I wouldn't put it past them to “go there,” either. Nothing is sacred with these people!

  76. 76 JD at I Do Things

    That's an explanation I frankly could have done without. And now you've probably given the Charmin ad execs (because you know they're reading this) another brilliant idea.

  77. 77 buggys

    What a very disturbing image I have in my mind now thanks to Charmin and the 'leave behindy' kind of tp. I think I would have noticed and if this is a problem then isn't couldn't that be corrected by the wet butt wipes everyone is pushing?

  78. 78 dcr

    Did you know their current slogan is “Enjoy the go.”???

  79. 79 Regan

    Oh. I've never had a problem with my toilet paper leaving pieces behind. Who would check anyway? It's not like there's security guards standing outside public places saying 'drop your pants, I need to see if you have pieces left behind before I can let you in'.

    Which would be rather ironic if you were going to Walmart to buy Charmin, which doesn't leave pieces behind.

  80. 80 Regan

    I personally have never had a problem with pieces being left behind. And I do not use Charmin. And it's not like they have security guards saying 'pull your pants down, I need to see if you have pieces left behind. If you do we can't let you in' whenever you're going into a public place.

    Which would be rather ironic if you were going to the store to buy Charmin because of the pieces that are left behind.

  81. 81 JD at I Do Things

    Arse Arse Arse!

  82. 82 JD at I Do Things

    Once again, Regan, you make an excellent point. Who exactly is going to be checking? That bear with the whisk broom? That hardly seems likely.

  83. 83 JD at I Do Things

    Yes! Wet butt wipes! I personally do not feel the need for them, but why not? It beats a freaking whisk broom.

  84. 84 JD at I Do Things

    Oh, for crying out loud.

  85. 85 babs (beetle)

    GLASS POO, GLASS POO……. Oh sorry, wrong one.

  86. 86 meleahrebeccah

    and this is precisely why I like to use baby wipes!

  87. 87 Patricious Delicious

    Hmm…I think I like that idea. You can take care of Sally (gawd, put that child on a DIET! You'd think she's, like, growing or something!), Eugene, and er…Bobby? Billy? Beaver? and teach them the correct amount of toilet paper is appropriate and chase them around, pantless and with a whisk broom…and I can accompany him (as a secretary, of course) when he jets off to exotic locals or 'stays late/all night' at the office. AND we can share VDs…dibs on syphillis!

  88. 88 Patricious Delicious

    Definitely time for 'I use a Neti pot so you don't have to…'

    Remember to ask Dave to film.

  89. 89 yourdailycute

    I made the mistake of reading through the stream of comments. Who knew TP was such a sticky subject… Ahem.

  90. 90 JD at I Do Things

    Take THAT, Charmin Bears!

  91. 91 meleahrebeccah

    :)

  92. 92 Mr. Blue Skies

    It's a man thing. Even a gay man thing, unless, of course, you shave your butt but I won't go there cause I don't do that but some guys do… Now I am going to try to erase all those images from my mind and go enjoy ribs at Millers Pub.

  93. 93 Mr. Blue Skies

    The wet butt wipes clog your toilet and are bad for your pipes. I had to have the plumber come out and clean my pipes (No Comment Please!) because the butt wipes had clogged it up so bad. He said they are one of the worst things to put in your toilet.

  94. 94 lauresal

    Frankly, I don't think bears wipe because of the claw factor, unless that's what Charmin means by, “Pieces left behind.” Also, I don't know if bears have ass reach capabilities. The most important point, I think Charmin has jumped the shark or rather the loo.

  95. 95 Ollie Wog

    This reminds me of that day in the woods when Mr. Bear was doing what bears do in the woods. Coincidentally, Mr. Rabbit was nearby doing the same thing. Mr.Bear turns to Mr. Rabbit and asks “Say, Mr. Rabbit, do you have trouble with feces sticking to your fur?” “No, not at all” replied Mr.Rabbit. “Good!” said Mr. Bear, grabbing Mr. Rabbit…

  96. 96 Ollie Wogg

    This reminds me of that day in the woods when Mr. Bear was doing what bears do in the woods. Coincidentally, Mr. Rabbit was nearby doing the same thing. Mr.Bear turns to Mr. Rabbit and asks “Say, Mr. Rabbit, do you have trouble with feces sticking to your fur?” “No, not at all” replied Mr.Rabbit. “Good!” said Mr. Bear, grabbing Mr. Rabbit…

  97. 97 erin

    Hahaha. I don’t get it either. It definitely does not make me want to purchase Charmin over any other brand. Stupid bears.
    .-= erin´s last blog ..Restaurant Nutrition Info Surprise =-.

  98. 98 Kathleen Kaufman

    I think your site likes me again, it appears that it is going to actually allow me to comment here instead of just on your facebook :)

    One of the many problems that I have with the Charmin bears and their poopy bear butts – is that in a world where bears use toilet paper, what do they do with the toilet paper that they use? Do they bury it? Flush it down a hollow tree? And, I might add, if the Charmin people had ever seen (or smelled) bear poop, they would know that that bear would need a heck of a lot more than three petite little sheets to take care of the mess. Bears eat a lot, and you know what they say about the size of a bear’s appetite….

    And, I might add – I have never seen any of those filthy bears wash their paws after using their toilet paper. Eww.
    .-= Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog ..How Science Ruined My Plot Line =-.

  99. 99 V

    only a mother would run around trying to sweep nasty tissue off her cubs arse and turn it into a game.

    how come the stupid bear just didn’t drag his butt on the grass like that stupid dog in the other commercial. the dog learned to wipe his butt on the carpet. i think the bear could have used the grass.

  100. 100 dcr

    Am I dreaming or is the dreaded Disqus gone? I’d start the celebrations, but don’t want to jinx it in case it’s just a glitch…
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..It’s the Strangest Things… =-.

  101. 101 Chris@TheSnackHound

    Oh My. I was just thinking about this today. What a mind meld. However, I was horrified more by the other commercial…”the full moon/telescope” commercial which is the latest installment of this disturbing series…. yup, its exactly what you think it is. I miss Mr. Whipple. He was much less disturbing. Well, disturbingly fixated on Charmin but he was more like an eccentric uncle than truly disturbed.
    .-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Fudgie: The Whale that Sends Fan Mail =-.

  102. 102 JD

    erin: No, it makes me want to BOYCOTT Charmin!

    Kathleen Kaufman: My site has always liked you. I got rid of the Disqus commenting system, which many people were complaining about. Hopefully, everyone can comment again!

    Oh, man. You raise many excellent points. What DO those filthy bears do with the TP? Wouldn’t the environment be better off if bears just dunked their butts in a river or something? Yet another reason why I’ll never go camping: fear of discovering gigantic dumps of poo-y bear toilet paper.

    V: YES! (See above.) Think how much pollution we’d avoid by having bears rub their butts on the grass? OK, maybe it kills the grass, but grass can always grow again . . . right?

    dcr: It’s not a dream! Too many people were having problems. WordPress’s commenting system may not be ideal, but at least it works. CELEBRATE!

    Chris@TheSnackHound: Ahhh. Good ol’ Mr. Whipple. He made us forget what Charmin was really for and focused only on the people’s need to squeeze. That’s what toilet paper is all about. And now, I have to go look up the latest stupid commercial.

  103. 103 kathcom

    Are these guys on shrooms? I am sick to my stomach right now. Is it supposed to be cool to have pieces of crap gluing toilet paper particles to butts because they’re cartoon bears? Why not animate the crap with a mean face trying to hold on until he’s swept away by a Care Bear?
    .-= kathcom´s last blog ..Sandwich Fixins #8 =-.

  104. 104 Kathleen Kaufman

    my mother reminded me of her favorite bear story, and since it involves poop, I thought I’d share.

    I grew up in Colorado in a teeny little mountain town, actually outside of the teeny mountain town in the middle of wilderness nowhere – we had bears, lots and lots of horrible bears.

    But, my mom used to store birdseed in the trunk of her car as the bears would get into it anywhere else, including inside the house. One night a bear got into the car, ripped the backseat apart trying to claw his way into the trunk, and in his frustration, dropped a big bear load in the backseat.

    You know how when someone barfs in your car the aroma never goes away? Same thing with bear poop really…
    .-= Kathleen Kaufman´s last blog ..How Science Ruined My Plot Line =-.

  105. 105 JD

    kathcom: AH HA HA HA HA! Yes, I’m sure the next ad campaign will feature animated poo. Why not? They can gross us out even more.

    Kathleen Kaufman: Oh, my GAWD! I don’t know which was more terrifying, the fact that bears could (and did???) get into your house or a big steaming pile of non-Charmined bear poo in your car. Wow. That birdseed must’ve been really important!

  1. 1 Tweets that mention I Am Going to Forget I Ever Saw This so you don’t have to at I Do Things So You Don’t Have To -- Topsy.com
  2. 2 Saturday Night Link Up | I Hate My Message Board

Subscribe

Subscribe by RSS Feeds


I Do Kindle


Read my blog on Kindle



Read a Random Thing





Categories









Blog Widget by LinkWithin