I have a bone to pick with two of my favorite bloggers.
Oh, they know who they are. But YOU don’t, so sit right down and listen.
A cheerleading outfit.
OK, first of all, in 1972, when Maureen was flouncing about in her cheerleading outfit, I was . . . oh, wait! HAHAHAHA! Maureen is older than me! I was only 12. Take that, Cheerleader Maureen! But also? Shut up! You look gorgeous. “Nerd cheerleader” is an oxymoron. At least it was at my school, where only the cutest and shortest girls were chosen for this elite status. Oh, how I wanted one of those pleated skirts and bulky sweaters! I was so jealous that they got to wear their uniforms all day on game days (why didn’t they just change later?).
They thought they were so cool. And they were right.
Maureen, you were not a nerd.
I, however, was both a nerd (I sang in the chorus and took part in the annual variety show [ingeniously named "Showtime"]) and a burnout (I smoked pot in “The Pit” and wore roach-clip earrings).
I don’t know exactly where that dual role got me. Singing Pothead? Stoned Soprano? Humph. It’s no Nerdy Cheerleader.
Oh, how you bragged of facing your fear! Let’s all face our fears, you chortled! It feels so goooooooooooooooood.
But here’s my thing. Fears are not made to be faced. They are made to be avoided. That’s why they’re called fears. I personally am afraid of my fears and would rather not have to deal with them unless absolutely necessary. I’m afraid of flying, but I have to fly to get where I want to go, so I take my “nerve” pills and get on the plane. Actually, I quite like those pills, so I guess this doesn’t even count.
But other fears, like bungee-jumping or touching my belly button? Not gonna do it. I am afraid. Humans were made to have fears so we wouldn’t go around putting our hands in the fire (altho, based on my impressive collection of scars, this particular fear may have bypassed my nerve center).
Anyway, my point is: We’re all human, but I am pretty much right about everything. I embrace my nerdly fears. I only wish I could do so while wearing a cheerleading outfit. And smoking a big, fat doobie.
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What are your biggest fears? Touching a snake? Touching a spider? Touching my belly button? Don’t even think about it!
Body of cheerleader came from here