I Am a Dork

Vote, baby, vote

Queen Dork


I won!

Can you freaking believe it? I couldn’t have done it without YOU, my non-dorky readers. Thank you for voting. I will now carry on my dorkly duties with pride and a little bit of embarrassment. Thanks, Lin!

And as Margaret from Nanny Goats once said, “We’re ALL dorks . . . I mean, winners.”

*        *        *

Some of you may have seen this photo recently. Oh, I’m not talking about its recent appearance on THIS blog but at Lin’s Dork Off II over at Duck and Wheel with String.

Yes, I am competing with other dorks (including the mysteriously named “Baby Corn”) for the title of . . . dork? Hmmm. How did I get roped into this one? Anyway, I guess it’s an honor to be a dork, so won’t you please vote for me? If you don’t think I’m dorky enough, there are plenty of other good dorks to choose from.

If I win this prestigious title, I get the honor of . . . sharing it with Lola, who won the first Dork Off.

And the glory of beating Baby Corn.

But you must vote by the end of today!

Lin made this contest real easy-like by just asking people to submit their dorkiest photos. But to give you more reason to vote for me, I submit:

The 4 Most Dorky Things I Ever Dorked

  • When I was 11, I loved looking up big words in my thesaurus and using them in sentences for vocabulary exercises. One such word was “ejaculate.”
  • Those orange elephant pants? They were part of a three-piece ensemble. Orange vest, orange elephant pants, and patterned blouse. I wore this proudly through the halls of my junior high school. Somehow I didn’t get beat up.
  • I almost got beat up by one of the tough girls in junior high. No, not for the elephant pants but for imitating how she squinted her eyes. Those squinty eyes fell on me at the wrong time, unfortunately, and I was busted. “Meet me on the hill,” she said ominously and extra-squintingly. I ran home bawling to my neighbor to protect me.
  • While all the cheerleader-types were doing their modern dance routines to “Beach Baby” and “Who Do You Think You Are,” my friend Sheri and I were busting out the moves to Alice Cooper’s “You Gotta Dance,” complete with inappropriate grinding movements. Yes, I still remember the routines.

*        *        *

And now I have some sad, non-dorky news.

I am leaving.

This Friday, Dave and I will board a plane headed for Jamaica, where we will stay forever. No, not forever, exactly. Maybe just a week. Can we stand to be parted from each other for a week? I can’t. I’m not going! Wow, I really am a dork. No, of COURSE I’m going, and you’ll just have to deal with it. I’m not even sure I’ll have a post to

Wait. I stopped mid-sentence to let a howling Prudence into the bedroom, where Dave is trying to sleep. When I came back, I read that above fragment as “I’m not even sure I’ll have a potato.”

Oh, my GOD! I hope they have potatoes in Jamaica! I’m pretty sure they do. But what if they try to feed me sweet potatoes? Man, I hate those!

OK, obviously, I’m quite upset. I’ll miss you. I hope you won’t mind if this site gathers dust for the next week or so while I gather skin cancer and eat non-sweet-potatoes.

You KNOW I’ll be busy doing some good “things” so you don’t have to, right?

I may get another post (or potato) up between now and my return. If not, fly your dork flags high!

And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

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84 Responses to “I Am a Dork”

  1. 1 Lola

    You got my vote and you didn’t even have to mention the orange elephant pant with matching vest ensemble. Did you wear clogs with that?
    .-= Lola´s last blog .. =-.

  2. 2 Walter

    You looked more cute than like a dork. Anyway, I cast my vote in your favor. I hope you bag this one. :-)

  3. 3 Stephanie Barr

    Too late.

    Honey, you couldn’t hold a candle to my dorkiness.

    My favorite outfit in middle school was a peach-colored cullottes/vest combo. A set I received as a hand-me-down from a friend of my mother’s who felt sorry for us (big family/little money). She might have been traumatized by seeing us in the matching dresses my mother frequently made for us.

    Poor Joseph.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..For Soubriquet: Reconciling the Mystical and Science =-.

  4. 4 Anne

    Have an amazing trip. And now you are vacationing so I don’t have to. Although, I think I would like to. Oh well, have a great time. Now I am off to Lin’s to vote for you.

  5. 5 Maureen

    You got my vote. Us Dorks have to stick together.

    But you don’t LIKE sweet potatoes??? Oh I love them, but we call them Yams (I know, there are Yams AND sweet potatoes, but I always get them mixed up). French-fried ones are yummy, but my favorite is with them slathered in butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg. I mean, if you cover anything in butter and sugar it’s got to be great, no?

    Have a wonderful time in the sun. One of these years I really must try this “winter vacation” thingy so many people partake of….
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..Perfectly Imperfect =-.

  6. 6 Cassandra

    You must get on that plane, babe. Jamaica needs a few days of JD, though I don’t know what we’ll do without you up here. As for the sweet potates, go the Nancy Reagan route and Just Say No.
    .-= Cassandra´s last blog ..2009 Year-End Roundup =-.

  7. 7 moooooog35

    Holy crap..you looked like a young Rick Moranis.

    Enjoy Jamaica.

    I hear they have great tourist traps there…where they pull you out of the car and rob and assault you in your various orifices.

    Booking my flight now!
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Doodler Dandy Does Dallas Part Dos =-.

  8. 8 Tim

    Now that is a good photo! You kinda look like a know it all there. Did you know it all?
    Good luck with your foreign potato menu choices…
    .-= Tim´s last blog ..The Penultimate Monster =-.

  9. 9 Lidian

    You go and have a wonderful time, JD. We’ll all just sit here in the dark until you get back – don’t worry about us…no REALLY…

    LOL! Have a wonderful sweet-potato-free time!

    As for dorkiness, how about wearing a white tennis hat every day in 7th grade, thinking it looked really rather good (it didn’t). And homemade plaid pants! No pictures available though.
    .-= Lidian´s last blog ..Social Blunder No. 1 =-.

  10. 10 Spot

    Thankfully, my mother has all my dorky pictures so my children can’t see them. I’m sure they would torment me mercilessly because they’re mean. I also looked up big words but not dirty ones, geez JD. I’m glad you used “ejaculate” in a sentence so I don’t have to! And now, you’re getting skin cancer for me. Wow. You just give and give and give. You’re kind of like the Mother Theresa of blogville.

    Have fun! I’m going to laugh at the dorks on Lin’s page now!
    .-= Spot´s last blog ..Drumroll please… =-.

  11. 11 carissajaded

    What I wouldn’t give to see a video of your dance to You Gotta Dance!!And for your sake I hope they do have potatoes in Jamaica for your potato eatin ass!! haha You definitely have my vote for the dork off…. Have a blast on your trip!
    .-= carissajaded´s last blog ..Post it note Tuesday : and how Ethan Hawke stole my heart. =-.

  12. 12 Jenn of Many Cabbages

    Aw, but you were such a CUTE little dork!

    If it makes you feel any better, I had an elephant sweatshirt. I wore it proudly. It wouldn’t have looked great with your orange elephant pants because it was pink and blue.

    But since we were both dorks, we might not have noticed. :)

    Cheers to your dorkdom, my friend!
    .-= Jenn of Many Cabbages´s last blog ..The Second-Degree Murder of Raggedy Ann (BLOG-OFF ROUND TWO ENTRY) =-.

  13. 13 Grace

    Ah, Jamaica – used to my winter vacation spot too – a small out of the way place in Negril – peaceful, quiet – perfect spot to veg for a few days. Have a safe trip and enjoy!
    .-= Grace´s last blog ..Are you an insomniac if =-.

  14. 14 maggie

    Thank goodness there are no middle school photos of me, because my favorite outfit was a pair of overalls I made for myself out of denim that had racoons printed all over it. (yes, I said racoons) I usually paired that with a pink tshirt that had purple sleeves and a decal of that hang in there Friday’s coming kitten on the front. (Since I was wearing overalls, only the claws on the limb showed, not much cat!)
    .-= maggie´s last blog ..Happy Holidays =-.

  15. 15 Buggys

    I already voted for your dorkiness! Have a blast in Jamaica, can’t wait to hear about what we don’t have to do there.
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..2010 Census Cautions =-.

  16. 16 Surfie

    Well that is one Alice Cooper song I’d yet to experience. Wow. I think that gives HIM the dork award, but since you DID have a dance choreographed to said song, I’ll have to give this some more thought. :) I have to disagree about that photo. It’s downright cute compared to most of my school photos. No cowlicks or post-recess-and-gym-class tangles? No wonky smile because you weren’t ready for the picture yet? Hmmm…

    I do believe going to Jamaica for a week is one thing I’d rather do for myself than have you do it for me. But I’ll settle for second best and live vicariously through your travels. So I hope you find some good blog post ideas during your trip! Have fun and be safe!
    .-= Surfie´s last blog ..My Junk Drawer Prizes Are Here! =-.

  17. 17 dcr

    If I were more competitive, I’d possibly consider giving you a run for the money, er, title, in the dork contest. But, there are things I prefer to think never happened and my will-full amnesia trumps my competitive drive, so you’re safe.

    By the way, please double-check your eMail the next time you leave a comment on my blog. I have two different addresses showing up in my comments admin and I don’t know which is correct. Ordinarily, it doesn’t much matter, but I need to eMail you a question.

    Of course, if you don’t want me eMailing you a question, just confirm the wrong address. Then I’ll fire off my question to the completely wrong person and the response could be interesting…
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Late Night TV by the Charts =-.

  18. 18 absepa

    Oh, man…I wish I had known you were willing to be a dork for me! When I was in 8th grade, I went to one of those screen-printing places and ordered a pink sweatshirt vest (!) that said “Thriller” on the front, then proceeded to wear it nearly every day. Add in the rainbow-striped jeans, pink Converse sneakers, and horrible curly hair, and I was pretty much the queen of the dorks. I still am, really, except now I have a decent haircut and better fashion sense.
    .-= absepa´s last blog ..In which I discuss the harshness of reality =-.

  19. 19 dcr

    Oh, yeah, I would have wished you a safe and fun trip, but I know you’ll have another blog post before you leave. Probably.

    Okay, I just forgot, but I totally meant to, but got sidetracked by the wrong eMail paragraph.

    Oh, and sweet potatoes are better for you anyway. Just learn to like them. Spice them up with cayenne pepper.

    Cayenne pepper is good for you too, so it’s a win-win.

    Of course, I’m not a doctor or a nutritionist, so take what I say with a grain of salt. Or not, because too much salt is apparently bad too. That’s how you know I’m not a doctor. A doctor wouldn’t tell you to take it with a grain of salt.

    Well, on the other hand, he might. After all, a grain of salt is less than a pinch of salt, so if you’re heavily into salt, he may advise you to cut back, thus taking things with a grain of salt rather than just dumping a whole tablespoon of salt over your slice of pizza.

    I went to school with a guy that did that. Salt on everything.

    He’s still alive. I know because he has a blog.

    Okay, I’ll stop now.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Late Night TV by the Charts =-.

  20. 20 dcr

    Uh-oh. He hasn’t blogged in months
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Late Night TV by the Charts =-.

  21. 21 Deb on the Rocks

    I’m conflicted. Jamaica is entirely not dorky. But then, thesaurus, yes, dorky. Alice Cooper, totally cool. But bawling, yeah, OKAY, I’ll give you dorky.

  22. 22 LJ

    Blame it on the glasses and the era. Without those you would have looked fine. You wouldn’t have been able to see, but thats a finer side point. Today, however, you would be a fashioneesta suprema! Either way – you’re still cute as a button.
    .-= LJ´s last blog ..Little Life Lessons =-.

  23. 23 Daisy's mom

    I voted for you, on account of your awesome glasses!

    DON’T LEAVE US!!! A week is almost forever!
    .-= Daisy’s mom´s last blog ..How We Stay Warm =-.

  24. 24 cardiogirl

    I love the thought of you scanning the pages of your thesaurus as a kid looking for, uh, big words.

    I think you have cute dork wrapped up. You have my vote, now go enjoy some sun!
    .-= cardiogirl´s last blog ..Lace up your shoes, we’re going to pivot and jive today =-.

  25. 25 Puglette

    aww, you were a cute little dork. your picture reminds me of my niece in kindergarten. she had a pixie haircut, cateye glasses and home trimmed bangs that crawled rather unevenly across her forehead. i must find that photo!

    hubby lived in jamaica for about six months when he was a teen. his parents were missionaries. his suggestion is to listen to bob marley and follow his instructions, smoke two joints.

    i am pleading the fifth on my dorky moments. however, we did find a talking dictionary one time and set it up to repeat daughter’s name and the word dork over and over. it was good, wholesome family fun.

    have a fun trip!
    .-= Puglette´s last blog ..Vicious Pug Attack!! =-.

  26. 26 Margaret (Nanny Goats)

    Have a fantabulous time in Jamaica. And I wish I’d known about this dork contest, but I will most surely vote for you!
    .-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Another Slight Case of Murder =-.

  27. 27 JD

    Lola: Aw, thank you. And you know, even if I win, you’re still the number-one Dork. I’ll always be the runner-up. No one can beat your adorkable dork photo. (You know, I probably DID wear clogs. Oh, my GOD!)

    Walter: Why, thank you, sir! How kind. Winning isn’t everything, but losing would suck so bad.

    Stephanie Barr: Well, where’s your photo then? We need proof of this so-called dorkiness. Your description is convincing, but how do we know this really happened?

    Anne: Thank you! I’d love to take you ALL with me. I’ll take a bunch of photos so you’ll feel like you were there. (And thanks for the vote!)

    Maureen: Thanks! No, I am not a fan of the sweet potato OR the yam. Even the thought of delicious cinnamon and butter doesn’t help. And they’re really good for you, too. I’ll stick with my pale, not-that-good-for-you russet. No cinnamon, but plenty of butter. (YES! The winter vacation is fantastic.)

    Cassandra: You are as sweet as a yam with cinnamon and sugar. Thank you. Jamaica DOES need me, so I must go. And I will reject the sweet potato. Politely.

    moooooo35: HA! You’re right! And I used to have a weird crush on Rick Moranis. What does THAT mean, I wonder? Hey, I’ll see you and your orifices there!

    Tim: I instantly became a know-it-all when I got those glasses. And thank you. I’m hoping the whole potato situation isn’t too perplexing.

    Lidian: Aw! I want pictures! A tennis hat? EVERY day? That is pretty dorky. I think you should get an honorable mention. (I’m picturing all of you sitting in the dark, with your hands clasped politely in your laps, waiting patiently.)

    Spot: Ah, yes. There’s no end to my sacrificing myself for my bloglings. And I used “ejaculate” in it’s 2d meaning: “to utter suddenly and vehemently.” But still.

    carissajaded: Thanks for the vote! The dance to the Alice Cooper song was definitely a duet or else I’d video myself doing it RIGHT NOW! (Thank goodness there’s no way I could do it alone.) I can’t wait to eat and take pictures of Jamaican potatoes for y’all!

    Jenn of Many Cabbages: No, I bet we would’ve matched that elephant sweatshirt with my elephant pants and worn them proudly. For such is the way of dorks.

    Grace: Yes, we’ll be near Negril. The resort has it’s share of noisy and raucous areas, but I’ll be far away from all that. Reading, dozing, eating potatoes.

    maggie: AH HA HA HA! Racoon overalls! Man, how I would love to see a photo of those. Can’t you please double-check?

    Buggys: Thank you! Yes, there should be some good blog fodder in Jamaica. Just because I’m not here doesn’t mean I won’t still be doing things so you don’t have to.

    Surfie: The dance was awesome. You’ll just have to take my word for it. It’s not one of Alice Cooper’s best-known songs, but it’s fun to dance to. Even today. Thank you for the good wishes! I’m not bringing my laptop, but I am bringing a notebook to scribble ideas. And my camera, of course.

    dcr: The only “picture” I’ve ever seen of you is your caricature on your blog. How close is that to you? You don’t look dorky as a caricature. Please publish some dorky photos. I don’t know what’s going on with my e-mail. But you can reach me at idothingATgmail.com. I doubt I’ll get another post up before I go, but I may try to get one written and ready to post while I’m gone. And NO! I will not learn to like sweet potatoes. I’m too old to learn new things. Except when it comes to salt. What is this salt guy’s blog address? Even if he hasn’t posted in a while, I’m curious.

    absepa: Pink Converse sneakers!!! Those are the opposite of dorky! I bet you wish you still had those, right? And the “Thriller” sweatshirt vest? How awesome! Boy, you don’t need ANYone to be a dork so you don’t have to. You seem to have it covered.

    Deb on the Rocks: Alice Cooper IS totally cool, isn’t he? Our dance routine was not, I can assure you. And neither was running to the safety of my neighbor’s house. I should’ve fought that tough girl. As squinty as she was, she probably wouldn’t even have been able to see me.

    LJ: Aw, thank you. I hate to confess this, but I didn’t really need those glasses. I lied about not being able to see the blackboard. At that time, glasses — yes, even THOSE glasses — were considered cool. Not so much today, I’m afraid.

    Daisy’s mom: Thank you so much for the vote! Those glasses ARE awesome, aren’t they? I wish I still had them. I don’t want to leave you! Isn’t there some way you can all come with me?

    Puglette: Hee! You crack me up. “Bangs that crawled rather unevenly across her forehead.” Yes, I’d love to see that photo. It’s pretty easy to follow Bob Marley’s advice. The ganja “salesmen” are everywhere. I’ll think of you when I puff away.

    cardiogirl: Thank you! I can’t wait to feel the sun on my dorky face. (Once a dork, always a dork.)

    Margaret (Nanny Goats): Thank you! I bet Lin will hold another Dork Off. It’s pretty popular. Lots of us dorks out there!

  28. 28 ann

    Jamaica? Well aren’t you the luckiest little dork. Dang. I would go even if all they fed me was sweet potatoes.
    .-= ann´s last blog ..Go away, I’m watching football =-.

  29. 29 babs - beetle

    Oh you look so sweet – even if you do look like a ‘little madam’ (Snotty, daddy’s girl, princess, brat-like.) Of course, I know you were not that. I’ll vote for you anyway :)

    Have a great holiday!
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Please let me out! =-.

  30. 30 dcr

    The caricature is based on an actual picture of me, so it’s pretty close.

    As for real pictures, well, I keep those hidden away and use copyright and/or right of publicity and privacy rights threats to keep them appearing anywhere. ;)

    An eMail is on its way to you. I’m quite proud of the subject even though it is completely unoriginal.

    You know what’s good? Seasoned salt. Especially the seasoned salt at Red Robin.
    .-= dcr´s last blog ..Late Night TV by the Charts =-.

  31. 31 Stephanie Barr

    I don’t have pictures, but I guarantee my sister, Shakespeare can vouch for my former (and continuing) dorkiness.

    Or, if she won’t, I’ll have to tell you about the tea towel hung about the neck after watching Yentl.
    .-= Stephanie Barr´s last blog ..For Soubriquet: Reconciling the Mystical and Science =-.

  32. 32 Barb at WillThink4Wine

    Oh, you certainly have my vote! Of course, if I had a picture of me in my red boots with fake black fur I could totally ROCK that dork contest!

    Have fun in Jamaic, mon. Take me with!
    .-= Barb at WillThink4Wine´s last blog ..Prancing Pony? =-.

  33. 33 Regan

    I’m sure your teacher was a bit scared when they saw you used the word ‘ejaculate’. I just hope it wasn’t in the wrong context. :/

    I’m a dork because when I went to my dad’s work on Saturdays when no one was there, (I still do, but now I just hang in the lunch room with all the pretty vending machines.) I would ask him to look up words so I could have a mini spelling bee of my own.

    I remember in elementary school I was a biiiiit of a teacher’s pet too. I liked to answer lots of questions.

    I guess I’m still a dork because I *GASP* actually enjoy reading. But I don’t do spelling bees anymore. Although I don’t answer every single question, teachers still tend to love me. :)

  34. 34 NanjoDogz

    We must have had the same optometrist because those glasses look mighty familiar :) — have a great holiday!

  35. 35 tashabud

    A very funny post. Ejaculate? Bwa!ha!a!ha! Hope your mother didn’t find out about your newly acquired vocabulary at that time?

    Enjoy your time in Jamaica.

    .-= tashabud´s last blog ..28. Clint and Makenna =-.

  36. 36 Chris@TheSnackHound

    Don’t feel bad, JD. Your parents were at least 50% culpable. Unless you reveal information that you were somehow drawing an income independently and therefore were in control of fashion related purchases.
    .-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Fudgie the Whale =-.

  37. 37 Bingo

    I just voted for you, I think you are winning, yeah! Have a great time in Jamaica hun!
    .-= Bingo´s last blog ..Bingo Caller Turns 100 =-.

  38. 38 Ron

    One such word was “ejaculate.

    HAHAHAHHA….you kill me, girl!!!

    Hey listen, I absolutely LOVE your eyeglasses in that photo. I kid you not. They’re adorable.

    And I will definitely go over and vote for you right after I finish with this comment.

    Have an faaaabulous time in Jamaica!

    And don’t forget your SPF30 while on the beach.

    See ya when you get back!
    .-= Ron´s last blog ..More of Goodbye Hello Kitty =-.

  39. 39 GoingLikeSixty

    Jamaica me crazy… so many things there to do so I don’t have to:
    Cliff Diving
    I forget.

    I <3 Negril.

  40. 40 JD

    ann: I am very lucky. However, if the only thing on the menu is sweet potatoes, I’ll have to come home to my beloved Crackerfuls and Weight Watcher’s ice cream cones.

    babs – beetle: Ha! “Little madam.” I was definitely none of those things, except maybe a daddy’s girl. I appreciate your vote.

    dcr: The subject line was awesome! And I do love a good seasoned salt. I should’ve had some on my baked potato tonight, but I only had regular salt. Next time.

    Stephanie Barr: All right, I’ll wait to hear from Shakespeare. Are you sure SHE doesn’t have any photos?

    Barb at WillThink4Wine: Oh, I hope you’ll enter Dork Off III — if there is one, which there SHOULD be. I have GOT to see that photo. You wanna come with to Jamaica? I can leave behind my beach towel and 5 pairs of flip-flops and cram you in there instead.

    Regan: I don’t know what the heck my teacher thought. Hopefully she just laughed and called me a dork. Never say you’re a dork because you love to read. Reading is anti-dork! But being a teacher’s pet? That’s kinda dorky.

    NanjoDogz: Yeah, they were pretty popular at one time. I loved them dearly. And I didn’t even need them. My vision was perfect.

    tashabud: I don’t remember if my mom knew about my using “ejaculated” in a sentence. But it was all aboveboard, I promise. Thanks for stopping by!

    Chris@TheSnackHound: I’m pretty sure I picked out the outfit, but no, I didn’t pay for it. Perhaps my mom tried to talk me out of it; she had a lot more fashion sense than I did.

    Bingo: Thank you! Yes, we’ll have a great time, as long as no one calls me a dork.

    Ron: I know! I love them too! I wish I still had them. They’d go so well with my Hello Kitty purse and car. Thanks for your vote!

    GoingLikeSixty: Yeah . . . so many things. Reading, dozing, floating in the water, ganja . . . ya mon.

  41. 41 Jane Dawson

    That picture doesn’t look so dorky, but those mini stories should help you win.

  42. 42 Roschelle

    You were the cutest little dork, ever! I so voted for you. Anxious to see how it turns out.

    .-= Roschelle´s last blog ..Post-Avatar Depression – Why Am I Not Surprised… =-.

  43. 43 vanilla

    Wowie! Be sure to wear your tiara to Jamaica! Congrats on your crowning as the Queen of Dorkdom!
    .-= vanilla´s last blog ..Cash at Folsom =-.

  44. 44 Lola

    .-= Lola´s last blog .. =-.

  45. 45 ann

    just stopping back to congratulate you on being the biggest dork. Way to go!!!!!
    .-= ann´s last blog ..Duke day =-.

  46. 46 Pricilla

    …and now you can wear your tiara as Queen Dork on the plane!
    Enjoy your vacation. I am sure there are goats on Jamaica. Say hi to my cousins for me, will ya. I am sure it is much warmer there than here.
    .-= Pricilla´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Winners!!!! =-.

  47. 47 meleah rebeccah

    You really ARE a dork, and I love that about you! Sorry I am late to this post and missed the voting deadline. Have a wonderful time in Jamaica!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Contextual Intelligence =-.

  48. 48 Lin

    HEY! THAT wasn’t the crown you won!!! Talk about spicing it up. Sheesh.

    And no, I’m not a sorry loser either.

    Thanks for playing along, JD! And have fun on your trip. Remember to take the crown off while you go swimming–you don’t want to make folks jealous. :)
    .-= Lin´s last blog ..We Got Ourselves a Winner! =-.

  49. 49 Lauren

    Congratulations on your Dork award. After reading your list, I’d say that the award was well deserved.

    Have fun in Jamaica. My husband and I were there in August. We stayed at Couples in Ocho Rios and had a great time! Warning: the Bob Marley shots are deadly. If I could attach a picture, I would include a screen shot of Google Jamaica.
    .-= Lauren´s last blog ..The film babbler – When watching a movie just isn’t good enough. =-.

  50. 50 JD

    Jane Dawson: Thank you! Yes, I threw those in just to make sure. You can’t use “ejaculate” in a vocabulary lesson and NOT be a dork.

    Roschelle: Aw, thanks! Thanks for voting and ESPECIALLY thanks for eating sweet potatoes so I don’t have to! You are a VERY “sweet” person!

    vanilla: Yes, I’m definitely packing my tiara, even if it means I have no room for my prescription medications. Thank you! (You made a real good dork, too!)

    ann: Thanks so much!

    Pricilla: I know! I’m so excited. Everyone on my flight will be so jealous. It’s all I ever wanted. I’ll try to find some Jamaican goats and say hi for you.

    meleah rebeccah: Whee! Thank you! No worries about not voting. Just keep an eye out for Dork Off III.

    Lin: HEY! You know, I DID e-mail you and ask if I could use the photo on your blog (with the REAL crown) but I didn’t hear back from you. Perhaps I was spammed? Anyway, thanks again for holding the contest and for being my blog pallie.

  51. 51 Bingo

    Yuy!! Congratulations! I knew it, I knew it!

  52. 52 Buggys

    Congratulations! I bow to you Oh Supreme Dork!
    .-= Buggys´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.

  53. 53 Your Daily Cute

    Congrats on your dork crown! May you wear it loud and proud. :)
    .-= Your Daily Cute´s last blog ..Kitten Makes a Dramatic Entrance =-.

  54. 54 Maureen

    Congratulations JD! I just KNEW you would win! (Love the tiara)

    Are your plans still on for Jamaica? I have a co-worker who is in the DR right now, and I am wondering about her and how the neighboring areas are handling everything right now…
    .-= Maureen´s last blog ..Perfectly Imperfect =-.

  55. 55 Yum Yucky

    NO fair! I wanna be a dorkstress too! No fair!
    .-= Yum Yucky´s last blog ..Fitness Tips for Lethargic People =-.

  56. 56 Mr. Stupid

    Congrats on your win! Well, now I realize why you won on reading your list…:)
    Hip, Hip…. Hooooray!

    Anyways, have a wonderful time in Jamaica.
    .-= Mr. Stupid´s last blog ..Bwaaaa… Zombies! =-.

  57. 57 V

    have a safe trip. keep your clothes on. stop dreaming about mr. potato head and don’t talk to strangers.

    i’m tempted to ask you to use that word up there in a sentence, but i bet you could, so never mind. hey that’s one thing you can’t do! HA!

  58. 58 FishHawk

    Yep, I just left a comment on Lin’s post about me wondering if you won this so Chuck wouldn’t have to. I also said that I smelled a conspiracy, and here you go openly claiming that you did win so that he wouldn’t have to! Well, not in so many words, but you know what I mean. Anyway, FOR SHAME! FOR SHAME!! FOR SHAME!!! Please, don’t get me wrong. For I would not want to begrudge of anything, but he has so little, and winning the dork off would have been something.
    .-= FishHawk´s last blog ..An Appalling Tennessee Waltz =-.

  59. 59 Anna

    When I was around 10, I told all my friends that my true hero was Nicholas Culpepper, the founder of modern nautropathy. Um. Yeah.. dorky. It still didn’t get me to Jamaica though. *pout*

    Have a fabulous time!
    .-= Anna´s last blog ..Caring for Bonsai Geraniums =-.

  60. 60 Jen

    Congrats on your win, I always knew you were a dork of the highest level. Master Dork maybe?

    Have a great vacation but let us know about the potato.
    .-= Jen´s last blog ..Almost Wordless =-.

  61. 61 Anne

    Congrats on what I have to admit is a somewhat dubious honor. Now you can proudly wear your tiara on vacation.

  62. 62 Secondary Roads

    I kneel before you my Dorky Queen.

    – Baby Corn
    One of the Children of the Corn.
    .-= Secondary Roads´s last blog ..Cool Mama Contest =-.

  63. 63 Chris@TheSnackHound

    Congratulations on the win. Or, is this a win that we shouldn’t congratulate you on because it means you were dorky?? Hmm..where is my etiquette book?
    .-= Chris@TheSnackHound´s last blog ..Which Betty Are You? =-.

  64. 64 JD

    Bingo: Thank you! (I didn’t know it — how did you?!)

    Lola: Thanks! But you’ll always be Queen Dork to me.

    Buggys: Rise, my blogling! The Supreme Dork thanks you!

    Your Daily Cute: I plan to! No one’s gonna take it away from me unless they want a fight.

    Maureen: Yes, we’re still going. I haven’t heard anything about changes, etc. Our flight is on schedule. I feel bad going on vacation when not far away so many people are suffering.

    Yum Yucky: You can enter Dork Off III! And really, we’re all dorks, you know. Some of us just get to wear a crown.

    Mr. Stupid: Wheee! Thank you!

    V: Your comment has made me ejaculate with pleasure! EWWWWW! Not really. But I do tend to get very excited over Mr. Potato Head. As for the clothes? You know the drill.

    FishHawk: Oh, now I feel bad. I’m happy to share my crown with poor Chuck, if he doesn’t mind that I’ve already bent it a little.

    Anna: Aw. That’s pretty dorky all right. Do you have a tiara around, anywhere? If so, I suggest you wear it with pride.

    Jen: Thanks. Yes, I’m happy that my dorkdom has finally been revealed. I’m going with Queen Dork for now, but that could always change. (Yes, I’ll be taking a lot of potato photos for sure.)

    Anne: Yes, I do plan to wear it. And thank you. I know how jealous everyone will be when I explain why I’m wearing a tiara.

    Secondary Roads: BABY CORN! It’s you! Someday will you tell me why you were named after a small vegetable? Oh, and please get up. Kneeling is totally unnecessary.

    Chris@TheSnackHound: I’m a little unsure about the guidelines, but I’ll happily accept a congratulations. Especially from you,

  65. 65 Kathryn

    Honey, I dropped the ball on this one.

    But please note that dorky, non-dorky, naughty, nice, regular porn or Thai porn, you are ACES in my book!

    You were an adorable little girl (LOVE the sparkle on the glasses!) and you’re a beautiful girl now!

    Jamaica! Whee! My favorite vacation was in Jamaica…Puerto Rico is a close second. I’m soooo jealous! Catch some serious rays for ME and pulease hug a palm tree…just one…for me as well.

    Have an amazing time!
    .-= Kathryn´s last blog ..Just…Gone =-.

  66. 66 Katie

    OOoh Jamaica…I want to go! Get a sunburn for me, and maybe eat some good food.

    See, I love kids because they are all dorks. The outfits, the dance routines, the weird (squinting) quirks. This is why I laugh all.day.long. I wish you were in my 3rd grade class when you were 8.

  67. 67 Mike

    awesome )))
    glasses rocks :)

  68. 68 Lily Johnson

    The pic is cute in a….nerdy kinda way.Lol. You are lots of fun girl and i enjoyed reading every line. Take care.

  69. 69 Jaya

    I’m not sure if they gave potatoes in Jamaica, but I’ll bet they have computers, and if you really loved us you would keep posting, even if you are in Jamaica. Uhmm… you DO love us, don’t you? Isn’t that why you do all these things so we don’t have to?
    .-= Jaya´s last blog ..With Dad, In The Past… =-.

  70. 70 babs - beetle

    Congratulations! Little princess :)
    .-= babs – beetle´s last blog ..Where am I? =-.

  71. 71 Jeff

    Have fun! I sure wish I wasn’t eating sweet potatoes with you in Jamaica. You do live the charmed life my friend!
    .-= Jeff´s last blog ..MN discriminates against vampires =-.

  72. 72 Corrina

    Congrats on being Queen Nerd!

    Have a STUPID amount of fun in Jamaica, take LOTS of pictures and come back with fun stories!

    Happy Vacation!
    .-= Corrina´s last blog ..Why I Love Blogging =-.

  73. 73 David

    Have a great time. We’ll all look forward to your potato when you get back.
    .-= David´s last blog ..First Lines Meme =-.

  74. 74 meleah rebeccah

    Congrats on your WIN!
    .-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Unjustifiable Fears And My Wild Imagination =-.

  75. 75 Texas Divorce Online

    The cutest dork ever, congrats for winning. Hope you will enjoy your vacation to Jamaica they one of the most beautiful beaches in the world IMO.
    .-= Texas Divorce Online´s last blog ..Can I avoid child support by signing over my rights? =-.

  76. 76 Dorothy Stahlnecker

    Just wanted to stop by and say just got back from Chicago sunday and I loved it however, it’s always great to get home as well..

    Dorothy from grammology

  77. 77 Jewelz

    I was a dork back in school too!! Made a complete 180 in adult life, but still miss my dorky days. :)
    .-= Jewelz´s last blog ..San Juan Mini-Vaca Confirmed =-.

  78. 78 Deb of Divorce Lawyer Austin

    So hows Jamaica? Hope your having a blast down there, congrats for winning the contest.
    .-= Deb of Divorce Lawyer Austin´s last blog ..Do parents have to take parenting classes? =-.

  79. 79 Dave

    Dork – but dorks are cool.

  80. 80 Justin

    I guess as far as being a dork or being crazy, I figured for sure I was on the right track when in college I told a friend not to do anything I wouldn’t do, then she laughed at me and said “yeah, that really limits my options.” All about the dork contests. Not sure if I am now, but I can quote long passages of episodes from “the Simpsons” so I guess I’m a niche dork :)
    .-= Justin´s last blog ..Rubber Snake Boots | Snake Proof Rubber Boots =-.

  81. 81 Master Dayton

    Enjoy your vacation where the weather is nice, sunny, and probably way above what it is here in Iowa right now. Brrr!
    .-= Master Dayton´s last blog ..50 Things Beginning Writers Should Know =-.

  82. 82 The Bee

    Congrats on winning the Dork-Off! Have a great time in Jamaica :)
    .-= The Bee´s last blog ..Restaurant Week in Charm City! =-.

  83. 83 Brian h.

    Congrats on the win and the travel to Jamaica. You’ll have to guest blog for me on your Jamaica experience. I couldn’t pay you but I’d give you more glory than you could ever imagine (yeah, right).

    Again, congrats!!!
    .-= Brian h.´s last blog ..World Class Tahiti Hotels =-.

  84. 84 Lauren

    I’ll send you a private note at Blog Catalog with my email address. If you send me an email, I’ll shoot you back the picture of my back. I still haven’t figured out yet how to link to my public Picasa album.
    .-= Lauren´s last blog ..WTF Friday: Golf Lessons – Tiger’s Bawdy Bogies. =-.


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