I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

Why, even the muggers are off The streets by eight Oh, relax, y’all. I’m still alive. Bikram yoga hasn’t killed me yet, tho it is seriously cramping my style. How so? From the Bikram Web site: You might find yourself feeling extremely energetic and experience difficulty sleeping. Don’t worry—you don’t have insomnia. You just have [...]

But I know I’m gonna change that tune, When I’m back on top, back on top in June It’s been like Freaky Friday over here in I Do Things Land. For years, I’ve nagged my mom to watch American Idol, and she has steadfastly refused. Then all of the sudden, she became a rabid fan, [...]

Don’t be jealous of my boogie Really, tho, I love ALL drag queens. I would love to hang out with a drag queen. If you are a drag queen, please call me so we can be best friends and also so you can show me how to create a cleavage shadow. Drag queen boyfriends are [...]

I’ve kicked the habit Shed my skin This is the new stuff I go dancing in If you know nothing else about me, know this: I like to move it, move it. I don’t care how and I don’t care when. My parts must jiggle. My heart must pound. My sweaty ponytail must swirl. But [...]

The way she powders her nose Her vanity shows and it shows ‘Tis the season not to hate people Tra la la . . . OH MAN HOW I HATE THAT ONE LADY! She’s so selfish! So jerkass-ish! So STOOPID! There aren’t enough exclamation points in the world to express how much I hate her. [...]

Stud hunters, c‘mon, drop your pants Stud hunters, here’s your big chance I know Stud Hunters sounds like a reality show where teams of TV fame-whores vie to find the stud of their dreams and then shoot him in the head BUT! it’s actually a porno movie from those sex-ay folks at online adult toy [...]