Archive for the 'I See Doctors' Category

I don’t know where I’m running now
I’m just running on

First, let me say that colon cancer is serious stuff. In no way do I mean to make light of this disease OR the procedure that is so important to early detection. Doctors say you should have a baseline colonoscopy when you’re 50 (I AM NOT [...]

73 Comments

I Am Being Poisoned

Such a good actress, hiding all her pain

Don’t look so shocked. Do you know how many people are poisoned every day? Based on my sources, I’m guessing a lot.
What proof do I have that I am being poisoned?
Simple: I have a stomachache.
HA! You think I’m overreacting, don’t you? Perhaps, but ask yourself this: why do I have [...]

37 Comments

I’m Seeing a Therapist

Gonna need a shot of vitamin E
By the time you’re finished with me

As in physical therapist. Oh, I’ve seen brain therapists too, but that’s another post. Or posts. Or blog. And, no, sadly, my PT doesn’t look like the one in the picture, but I don’t look like that girl, so we’re even.
Soooo, my back still hurts, [...]

36 Comments

I Have Scoliosis

Whatchya doin’ on your back?
You should be dancing

No, no, that’s not me in that picture. I’m tanner. Plus, my spine is a lot curvier. Which, when it comes to spines, is not desirable.
As a kid, I had bad posture. “Stand up straight!” still rings in my ears, and if anyone says it to me today, [...]

16 Comments

I Take Drugs

And the ones that mother gives you
Don’t do anything at all *

Oh, not those kinds of drugs, you big ninnies! At least, not anymore (that’s a whole ‘nother post). No, I’m talking about strictly legal but nevertheless potent and delicious drugs—the kind your doctor (if your doctor is a drug pusher, like mine) is more than [...]

15 Comments

You want to trust the doctors
Their procedure is the best
But the last try was a failure
And the intern was a mess *

I don’t like the term surgery, so for the purpose of this post, it’s a procedure. Got it? Good.
And don’t worry—everything went fine, except for one aspect that is almost too horrifying to relate. Due [...]

19 Comments




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