And the worms ate into his Head (brain)

Hello, and welcome to yet another (FREE!) installation of Dr. JD diagnoses and cures the sickly people of the Internet!

My esteemed colleague Professor JD recently took the blogosphere by storm when she appeared over at Cardiogirl’s VIP Lounge to help a bunch of people with their inane questions. Dr. JD was not at all miffed that SHE wasn’t invited. After all, she has her own forum right here. Harumph.

Dr. JD approves of this practice. It is unwise to deal with the full-fledged stench of two whole armpits at once, therefore, one armpit = half the stench. But Dr. JD is curious. Why exactly do you need to know what you would have smelled like? I can pretty much guarantee you, it would have been bad. Spaghettios-bad.

Er, perhaps you should start using deodorant under both arms. Also, potato chips? This is a new one. Dr. JD has heard of chicken soup, Spaghettios, and even that bacon mayonnaise everyone’s talking about. Potato chips? Huh.

Dr. JD does not know where one might find such videos. Honest. Never has Dr. JD EVER been the least bit tempted to seek out bunion fetish videos. Or (shudder) toe corn videos. Now, if you’re talking about hammertoe fetish videos, Dr. JD is all ears. Like, seriously. Send links. And screencaps.

Are you a female? A drag queen? A hermaphrodite? There are many reasons a person is minus a bulge. Perhaps you’re a man with a pathetically small penis. If that’s the case, well, not even Dr. JD can help you.

First off, do you have a bulge? I would imagine a six-foot male would have a fairly decent bulge. And you know what they say: the bigger the bulge, the longer the intestine. Dr. JD is not sure “they” say that, but it sounds about right. So to answer your question, yes.

Look, Dr. JD is sick and tired of all the queries about colonoscopy-as-weight-loss tool. And don’t try to get all sly about it either. You will neither lose nor loose weight after a colonoscopy. Unless . . .

Sigh. You are not supposed to drink the shitting water. That’s what you flush down the toilet. Are you drinking the shitting water in an attempt to lose or loose weight? Because if you are, Dr. JD guarantees instant weight loss due to the intense vomiting that will occur after drinking the shitting water.

Because you drank the shitting water, duh.

For crying out loud, will you people leave your penises alone? The gristle part is not supposed to be removed. If you keep pulling random gristle out of “spots” on your penis, you’re not going to have a bulge. You DO want a good bulge, don’t you?

Uh huh. You pulled too much gristle out of there, didn’t you? You have only yourself to blame.

Dear god, I hope you’re not talking about the penis whole that appeared after you pulled out all the gristle causing the purple lump to burst. That’s the wrong whole! Don’t put it in there!

Thank you for clarifying that you are referring to the brain part of the “Head” as opposed to, say, the nasal cavity or the eyeball socket. Worms in the Head (brain) are very rare and you wouldn’t know you had them until you were dead. Dead men tell no tales, so I guess no one would know if you had Head Worms. How exactly do you think you contracted these worms?

Aha. Yes. Raw Poptarts are the number-one cause of Head Worms in the US. Everyone knows an uncooked Poptart not only tastes nasty but will give you an instant case of Head Worms. And please don’t give me the tired excuse that you don’t have a toaster. JD’s robot husband simply puts his under the broiler. (The cause of his Head Worms is none of your business.)

You can never truly get the smell of suffer off your hair. Once the hair has been through trauma, the smell of suffer lingers, often for years.

You’re welcome. And no, it was not a pretty thing to see, nor was it a pretty thing to smell. But it was better than the smell of suffer.

Well, it’s horrible dead skin, isn’t it? Really, there is no need to bother Dr. JD with questions you’ve already answered yourself.

Dr. JD tries to avoid dealing with elderly patients. Come on, they are almost always querulous and crabby. Who needs that? There is not much you can do with your stubborn old mother, altho you might try asking her why the hell she’s wearing a colonoscopy bag in the first place. You don’t need a bag! The shitting water goes straight down the toilet! Geez! Old people!

Indeed.

The answer is an emphatic YES but only if you tend to use a concrete block for a pillow and begin your sleep routine by slamming your head onto it.

Well, you obviously slammed too hard. Try switching to something less pointy.

That was no dream. That was Dr. JD, trying out a new procedure. Your friend will thank me . . . some day. Also, remind her to buy some more mustard.

Well, perhaps it’s because you’ve got a bunch of hotdogs shoved up in there. Dr. JD recommends a colonoscopy (NOT a colonoscopy bag) and plenty of shitting water.

That’s the spirit! Dr. JD likes porn too. Especially hammertoe porn.

Oh, yes! The ER nose snot story! Every doctor knows about that. Oh ho hohohohoho! It’s a good one, I tell you. HAW! Oh, dear (wipes tear from eye). Heh.

Aw, thanks, Mom.

*        *        *

Do YOU have a question for Dr. JD? Well, there’s no special treatment here. Google your question and pray you get lucky.

Come on, let’s find a way to be happy
Not like Plankton, he will never be satisfied

Well, the Arte y Pico and Proximade awards seem to have run their course. For now.

In addition to those auspicious prizes, I’ve received lots of cool stuff from my fellow bloggers over the years.

BEHOLD!

A spritely gift basket from my friends Tim and Ernie at Redneck Bar & Grill.

You can’t see them, but there were red velvet CUPPA-CAKES in there! Sadly, there were also cherries. I don’t drink much, but I made an exception in this case. So, a big, drunken thanks to  Tim and Ernie!

*

LOOK! It’s a lifelike (heh–I almost wrote “lifeSIZE”) Xena doll!

Xena will not judge you. But I will.

This awesome item came from Meg at Prefers Her Fantasy Life. She ran a caption contest and I freaking won. Since the caption had to do with Fonzie, Michael Jackson, and Sonny Bono, it should come as no surprise that I cleaned up, caption-wise.

*

No, you’re not seeing things. That is a GREEK Spongebob Squarepants comic book, direct from Greekland. Also known as Greece.

With real Greek coins! I haven’t tried to use them yet. I’m sure they’re worth MILLIONS!

I received this coin-laden comic AND a cool magnet and shot glass from none other than your favorite Greek and mine: Canucklehead! OK, he’s not Greek, but his lovely wife is, and while visiting her family in Greece, C-head gathered together this fun-filled prize package for the winner of his contest, which I can’t find now. Happy Greaster!

*

OMG! It’s my Jerry Springer not-at-all-crappy bottle opener! You can tell it’s genuine by the logo. Right? Anyway, all I had to do to win this sweet prize was tell Anne of Small Town Mommy that I really wanted it. AND I DID! The finger puppet is on hand to show you how small . . . er, big it is. Thanks again, Anne. And thanks for going to the Jerry Springer show so I don’t have to.

*

Feast your eyes on these beauties! Three (3) highly desirable magnets from Junk Drawer Kathy, Babs Beetle, and Maureen from I’d Rather Be Blogging. Uh, I can’t really remember how or why I won these, but I DID and if you try to take them away from me, I will bite you.

Ah, but look carefully, Junk Drawer fans. If you’ve been lucky enough to win one of Kathy’s magnets, you’ll notice that this one is different.

That’s right! Blurriness aside, I received the PROTOTYPE for the current Junk Drawer magnet. What do you think of THAT?!

*

And now, because I went to the trouble of uploading these photos, here’s some other stuff.

Zombie Mardi Gras Alligator Head (it’s a magnet)!

Blurry camel figurine STRAIGHT from Turkey (featuring Daisy the Curly Cat)!

Frog sponge holder that my mother-in-law let me take withOUT approval from the other daughters-in-law!

What’s the best prize you’ve ever received?

__________________

Award came from here

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What a lovely, lovely picture
You’re my treasured work of art

So, as you may recall, there was this contest at I Do Things regarding candy bars. There were also interminable videos featuring some stupid camera effects and lots of nervous twitching. There was soap. There was poorly cued music.

But most important, there were winners. Four of them, to be precise, and if you didn’t know there were four, then YOU didn’t watch all the videos!

Tho I can hardly blame you.

Anyway, as the winners checked in to claim their prizes, I offered an alternative in case they really didn’t care to have a melted, smashed candy bar show up on their doorstep. If you don’t want the candy bar, I said, I will put your ad in my sidebar for a week. If you don’t have a button, I will make one for you!

All accepted the candy bar eagerly.

All but one.

I suspect she’s regretting her choice.

I was sure I could design a button. How hard can it be? Plop in the name of the site and throw in some color and graphics, right?

Her response to my offer to create an ad was as follows:

JD,

I trust you implicitly.

Aw. It’s nice to be trusted. I went to work and created the ad. Hmm! I thought. Not great, but not bad, really. I bet she’ll like it.

Her response:

You know what? I think I should make a button anyway. I will get one to you soon.

Yours is AWESOME, but this is a perfect excuse for me to just make a button already.

Oh. OK. Gotchya. No problem. Really. No big deal. She did say “awesome.” I’m sure she’s not just being polite

She e-mailed me her button, and it was fine and everything, but it BUGGED me, because it wasn’t 125 x 125. It HAS to be 125 x 125, doesn’t it? So I messed around with it a bit. Surely she would see how superior mine was to her original.

SERIOUSLY, no offense. I just like consistency.

OK! Geez! But shouldn’t it be a bit bigger? I enlarged it, which had the unfortunate effect of making it all blurry. Still. Bigger, right?

Wrong.

Smaller. Don’t you love how I’m all “WHATEVER, SERIOUSLY” and then have opposing/definite opinions?

Yeah, I “love” it. Anything else, your highness?

Before you get the wrong idea, I love this woman. We both thought it was pretty funny that what started as “I trust you implicitly” ended up as “I’ll do it myself, thank you very much!”

Regardless, I get the message. I am not a graphic designer. Not even of simple blog buttons. Don’t believe me? Here’s the final product:

And here’s what I created:

I didn’t even spell her NAME right!

I’m waiting to see if she comments on this post. I’m sure she’ll suggest a few revisions.

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So, needless to say
I’m odds and ends
But that’s me stumbling away

Subtitled “I’m Better on Paper; Or How Not to Use a Webcam”

So!

Technical difficulties? Check

Lots of “and um’s”? Check

Fabulous hair? Check

Shrill voice? Check

Poor quality? Check

Too much rambling? Check

Weird facial expressions and fidgeting? Check!

YES!

It’s another video from JD, this time announcing the winners of the Simply Caramel Milky Way contest — LIVE, kind of, or really more just on video but happening RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES!

You are seeing correctly. There are four videos because I’m an idiot. Please forgive me.

But each video is terribly exciting and provides plenty of opportunities for you to laugh. At me.

All that aside, congratulations to the winners and thank you to EVERYONE who commented.

Aaaaand . . . roll ‘em!

Simply Caramel Milky Way Contest: Part I

Or click HERE to watch!

Simply Caramel Milky Way Contest: Part II

Or click HERE to watch!

Simply Caramel Milky Way Contest: Part III

Or click HERE to watch!

Simply Caramel Milky Way Contest: Part IV

Or click HERE to watch!

Winners, please send your address to idothing@gmail.

That’s it!

Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might’ve know what you would find

WOOOOOOO!

You read that right. I am giving away three of the rare, hard-to-find Simply Caramel Milky Ways to three lucky, LUCKY readers.

Can you believe my generosity? It knows no bounds, srsly.

It all began yesterday, when I went to PetSmart. On the five-minute drive, I experienced a cold feeling of terror in my empty Milky-Way-less belly. Was it PetCo or PetSmart?

I’d have to wait and see.

I approached the candy display. More cold terror. I didn’t see them. I saw regular Milky Ways but no . . . oh, wait! There they are! Oh, phew. Oh, thank Zod. Oh my stars. Bless my soul. And so on.

I scooped up eight Simply Caramels and left three. I don’t know if there are any more in the stockroom, but who cares. I have mine. Milky Way will just have to make more.

I also bought a cat toy. True, it was the cheapest one I could find, but Gus and Pru seem to like it:

WATCH THE VIDEO!

Gus and Pru play with their cheap cat toy!

I know Dave will be asking, “Where’s MY Milky Way?” Don’t worry. They’re carefully hidden, and he doesn’t know my secret hiding place. Oh, apropos of nothing, Dave, please don’t bother ever putting away my cereal when you do the shopping. Just leave it out. I’ll put it away myself. Really, I don’t mind. I swear, if you open that cereal cabinet . . .

Oh, but it doesn’t even matter, because Dave has some kind of weird crevice between his teeth that forced him to stop chewing gum (“Everything tastes like spearmint”) and switch to sugar-free Starlight mints. That Dave. He knows how to live.

On to the contest!

I’m giving away three (3) of these sweet little babies. And, yes, Mr. and Mrs. Mathematician, that DOES mean I’m keeping five for myself.

If you want one—R-E-A-L-L-Y want one—all you have to do is say so! In a comment. So easy. So sweet. So chewy. So . . . NOM NOM NOM! OK, now there are seven. We’d better get this contest on the road. Just drop a comment on this post and tell me that you want a Simply Caramel Milky Way. OR a Milky Way Simply Caramel, for that is the official name.

There are no tricks or gimmicks. Your comment can be a simple statement, a poem, a diorama, or even an animated GIF. You don’t HAVE to include the phrase “JD, thou art so pretty,” but I can’t say it won’t help.

The contest ends on February 13 at 6PM. The winners—drawn randomly—will be chosen by a LIVE (well, what that means is I plan to film it on my camera and post the YouTube link) drawing the following day.

Are you excited? Maybe not. A lot of you, frankly, were all, Oh, I only like dark chocolate. I don’t even like caramel. I hate Milky Way. Blah, blah, blah. So maybe there won’t even BE three entrants.

Or maybe there will be thousands.

Winners must be prepared to cough up their addresses via private e-mail. I will mail these precious bars ANYwhere: England, Canada, The Land That Time Forgot, even the Planet of the Apes!

Good luck!

And hurry. They’re going fast.

CHOMP!

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But glittering prizes
And endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity

It’s TIIIIIIIIIIIIME!

Time to announce the WINNERSSSSSSSSSSS!

Thanks to everyone who played, even when it was pretty obvious that the contest was WON and DONE. I think maybe I suck at contests. I always seem to leave out an important rule or caveat, and someone goes home in tears. Perhaps the rest of you can do contests so I don’t have to? And then I can focus on winning stuff instead of forking out prizes. Yes!

But regardless. There were two winners of this contest, and those two winners ARE . . .

First-place winner: SURFIE from Surfie Says!

Second-place winner: BUGGYS from Cute As a Buggy!

Congratulations!!! You two got in there fast and used that “search” box like there was no tomorrow. That makes no sense. But you know what I mean. Way to go!

Honorable mention to Jackie Schklar who runs Funny not Slutty and who got 9 and 1/2 out of 10. Pru started out her life as Mary Jane, but we renamed her when we adopted her. Otherwise, excellent job!

Oh, So Close!

Lola: Woo! You got ‘em all right but came in just SECONDS too late. I may be making that up for dramatic effect.

Maureen: Another close one! I’m crying with joy that some of you actually bothered to look up all this crap!

Erin: Great job! You got all the correct answers AND meaningless bonus points for funny commentary!

Meaningless Bonus Points for Creativity

moooooo35: I think you might’ve been guessing answers for a different contest, but at this point, who cares?

V: “Pan something purple”? “Really small bulge”? The first is confusing and the second is confounding (why would I EVER write about a really small bulge?). Otherwise: great job!

babs – beetle: Thank you for understanding when I deleted your first comment AND for going to the trouble of submitting a second round of fun answers.

Jay: Despite having the memory of a stunned fish (still laughing at that), you guessed “Really Sexy Bottom” and THAT makes you a winner in my book.

More Shout-Outs

Jaffer: You made some good guesses, my friend. Unfortunately, Bumpits cost WAY more than $4 (and yes, they do smell).

Stephanie Barr: Excellent job, considering you guessed AND you’re acronym-challenged. You probably did better than I would’ve done if I’d had to guess.

Adele: Ooh, almost. You only missed two! Good job!

Katherine: Heh! You remembered “Friar Longwood”! That oughtta count for something. Unfortunately, it doesn’t.  But thank you so much for playing!

______________________________________________

Surfie and Buggys, please send your 125 x 125 logo to IDoThingATgmail.com. Let me know if you’d like me to make one for you.

Your ads will be displayed WITH PRIDE in my sidebar for one month!

Thanks again, everyone!

WOOOOO!!!

It’s a contest!

And it has nothing to do with the holidays or homeless cats or raising money for victims of snow-shoveling-related injuries.

It has EVERYTHING to do with ME, JD!

All you have to do is answer the questions below. These questions will test your knowledge of all things JD. How well do you really know me? How thoroughly do you read this blog? Just how bored ARE you?

The prize is pretty fabulous. Two lucky winners will win free — FREE! — ad spots in my sidebar. See, over there? To your right? Where it says “Your Ad Here”? Yes, two lucky winners will have their 125 x 125 logos plopped into the top  and bottom slots for a whole month. FREE!

If you don’t have a logo, by god, I’ll make you one. FOR FREE!

If you don’t have a blog to advertise, don’t worry: you can still play! You just won’t win anything.

The first person to answer all questions correctly in a comment on this post will win the top slot. The second person to answer all questions correctly wins the bottom slot. If NO ONE guesses all the answers, I’ll shut down this blog in despair. Or make the questions easier. Or pick two people at random. Or answer the questions my own damn self and put MY ad in all THREE spots. That’ll show you.

OK, let’s play!

1. Fill in the blank: I Played _________ Casino So You Don’t Have To.
2. What kind of flowers did JD’s creepy neighbor give her?
3. How much did JD shell out for those stupid Bumpits?
4. True or False: In the recently reviewed film “Stud Hunters,” there is a character named Mr. Nibbles.
5. What does “RSB” stand for?
6. Which celebrity rudely interrupted JD’s “I Do Nude” debut?
7. Quick! Name JD’s two cats.
8. With what phrase did each of JD’s three “Can I Tap That” exchanges end?
9. Ay, loca! Who is JD’s drag queen hero?
10. What post did JD “read” at BlogHer?

Remember, you are playing for one month of FREE advertising on I Do Things. The stakes are high. Think carefully before submitting your answers.

I do not expect you to know the answers off the top of your head. Use the “Search I Do Things” box liberally.

And good luck!

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IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!!

Lucky and Minnie have found a home!

“Spot” from What Passes for Sane on a Crazy Day has graciously and kindly and fantastically offered to take Lucky and Minnie into her home. Lucky and Minnie will join Spot’s four other rescue cats.

Spot, there is a special place in heaven for you. To offer to adopt two older cats — together — is such a beautiful act of kindness. You are an angel.

Thank you again to everyone who helped spread the word. You’re angels too!

Ahhh. Nothin’ like a Christmas miracle, is there?

__________________________________________________

We interrupt JD’s regularly scheduled blog post (the em-ar-eye post WILL be up tomorrow) to bring you this news:

Two Chicago-area cats, Lucky and Minnie, need your help.

Their owner is moving into a home with an allergic child and cannot take his beloved pets with him.

Minnie!

At about eight years old, Lucky and Minnie may not have a good chance of being adopted if they have to go live at a shelter.

Lucky!

According to the owner, Lucky and Minnie are loving, sweet, and snuggle together.

Blurry proof of snuggling!

If you would like two beautiful cats for Christmas—or know someone who would—please contact me at idothingATgmailDOTcom.

The owner is throwing in FREE food and litter for a YEAR plus a cash incentive.

Bloggers around the world are sharing the story of Lucky and Minnie!

Daisy the Curly Cat!

Karen & Gerard Zemek!

Amy and the House of Cats!

Kathy from The Junk Drawer!

Ty from Puppy on a Roomba!

Please consider helping to get the word out by Tweeting or Facebooking. Daisy’s post has been Stumbled, so why not give it a thumb’s up? Or Stumble this post? Whatever you can do will be much appreciated.

Tomorrow we will return to the usual porn, drugs, and nudism.

Who are you to judge me?

I know I said recently that I’m not the type to judge, but I NEVER said I was not the type to LIE, so that stuff about not judging was a big lie. Sorr-ee.

You’d better believe I judge. And most of my judgments end in a dramatic thumbs-down.

But not THIS time!

Because I have been selected to judge some really fun and cool and SCARY stuff. Just wait till I tell you!

I Hate My Message Board’s First Annual Scary Product Contest

My good friend Tracy, over at IHMMB, has decided to throw a contest for the scariest, weirdest, freakishest, and/or creepiest product you—yes, YOU!—can find, photograph, and submit.

You need to check out Tracy’s post for all the deets, but lemme say just this. The prizes are beyond awesome. First prize? An IHMMB T-shirt AND the much-coveted Cheeseburger in a Can mounted in a Lucite box WITH the winner’s name engraved on a (faux) brass plate.

Whew. It doesn’t get much more exciting than that.

And, yes! I’m one of the judges, along with:

• David of Blogger Dad
• Sean of Writer Dad
• Margaret of Nanny Goats in Panties
• Ron of Clark Kent’s Lunchbox

You’ve got until October 29, 2009, to submit your original photo of a freaky, scary, weird product.

Or, you can just sit back on your lazy ass and let the placenta shampoo win. It’s up to you.

The Funny Not Slutty Blog Book!

Are you funny? Great! Are you slutty? Then you are disqualified! I’m kidding. I think you can be funny and maybe a little slutty. The important thing here is funny.

Jacki, at Funny Not Slutty, is compiling the first-ever Funny Not Slutty Blog Book: a downloadable e-book featuring the BEST of the BEST blog posts featured on the FnS site.

If you’re a member of FnS (and if you’re not, join today!), then all you gotta do is submit the link to your favorite post (limit 2 posts) included on FnS. Act fast, because only 250 posts will be considered, from which between 16-32 will be chosen for this one-of-a-kind collection. Submissions will be accepted ONLY until November 15. You do NOT want to be left out of this book! Check out the rules on the submission thread here.

Joining me in the judging of the funny are:

• Ann of Ann’s Rants
• Blythe of The Bean
• Terese of The Witchy Chicks

I  hope you’ll check out both of these sites TODAY, because I’m sure, unlike me, you’ve got nothing better to do. Me? I have to catch up on my reality TV.

And now! Lest you think I’m going to deprive YOU of the fun of judging ME, here are some recent additions to my Netflix queue.

Judge away!

• Entrails of a Virgin
• Baptism of Blood
• Empire of the Ants
• I Spit on Your Corpse (NOT to be confused with I Spit on Your Grave)
• Blood Car
• The Death Factory: Bloodletting
• The Curious Dr. Humpp
  
• Let Sleeping Corpses Lie

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]]> http://idothings.info/i-judge-things-so-you-dont-have-to/feed/ 38 http://idothings.info/i-reveal-the-results-of-the-top-secret-rock-star-bulge-contest-so-you-dont-have-to/ http://idothings.info/i-reveal-the-results-of-the-top-secret-rock-star-bulge-contest-so-you-dont-have-to/#comments Sun, 11 Oct 2009 15:07:18 +0000 JD http://idothings.info/?p=4075

Sacrilicious

Ah HA!

You didn’t even know this was a contest, did you?

Well, neither did I, until I checked out my stats program to see who was clicking on what.

And I can’t say I wasn’t a little bit surprised at what I found out.

You thought no one would know, didn’t you? You just assumed that a simple mouse click, performed in the darkness of your bedroom late at night, would never be discovered.

Well, I know what you did. God knows, too. And God is pretty disgusted. How do I know? He appeared to me on a frozen waffle. And he was not happy, especially when I slathered him in butter and took a big bite.

But, luckily for you, I am not quite so judgmental. I am simply . . . well, let’s allow the results to speak for themselves.

• WHICH RSB had you the most tantalized, curious, mesmerized . . . wanting MORE?
• WHICH RSB was the most popular among clickers? Clickers who just HAD to see the photo?
• WHICH RSB did YOU, the unsuspecting readers, click on the most?

The runner-up:

!

!

!

ROD STEWART!

Oh, dear.

Even Britt Ekland is disappointed in you. She’s disappointed in herself, too, I think. She’s all, I left Peter Sellers for THIS?

All right. Let’s see if you showed a little more taste and refinement in your first choice for most clickable RSB.

First place:

!

!

!

JOE JONAS!

You guys! How COULD you? Yes, Joe Jonas was the clear front-runner in bulge-clicks. It was not even close. Now I can see why God was so disgusted. Well, that’s between you and him. Maybe you should stay away from frozen waffles for a while. Anyway, as I said, I do not judge. (But I do not forget, either.)

Sigh. Sadly, there really are no winners in this contest. But! There is a consolation prize for your poor, traumatized eyeballs. Hopefully this will ease your shame and help to start the healing.

It’s me! JD! And my new hair.

I promise. Clicking on THESE thumbnails will bring you only joy and peace and perhaps a slight touch of bitter envy.

(Don’t remember the “before” JD? Click here for the infamous “mermaid” photo)

Do we have a winner?

________________________________________

Photo credits

• Waffles: JD
• Joe Jonas: Too embarrassed to still exist, apparently.
• Rod Stewart: Steve Aoki
• JD: Dave
  

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