I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

Please, don’t wake me, no, don’t shake me Driving to Starbuck’s while you’re still asleep is a bad idea for several reasons. But who can think reasonably when you’re asleep? Oh, don’t worry. I survived the trip, and I’m pretty sure everyone else on the road did too. (Sidenote: I don’t like the taste of [...]

It’s easy when you got all the information I’ve bought some very cool stuff online recently. I got beautiful artwork from Kelly at Aerten Art, a kickass pair of Zumba shoes, and . . . pills! (link deleted) Yup, drugs by mail! That’s the way I roll. Recently I made a rather ill-advised purchase (I [...]

I want candy I want bacon I want . . . bleeeuuurggh Every time I’m at Whole Foods, I see these enticingly packaged toy-sized candy bars. They are so wee. The brand is Vosges, and the label tells me they are “haute chocolate,” which is French for “pay out the ass.” Intrigued by their size [...]

Wait in line ‘Til your time Every now and then, I like to do a nice thing to balance out all the not-so-nice things I do on a daily basis. One of the nice things I do is obey the “No turn on red” signs. I believe this makes up for the fact that I [...]

Guys with name tags walking down the aisles Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles Wait! Where are you going? Don’t leave me here alone with my door story. Haven’t you heard? Doors are actually very funny and exciting to read about! You can tell, because I put an exclamation point [...]

And baby there’ll be Dancin’ in the streets For the miracle I hope all my readers will experience a Christmas miracle. To some, a miracle may take the form of an unexpected kindness from a stranger. To others, it might involve a baby in a manger. And to others, it might be simply be a [...]