I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

And all the pain Only after the rain Can you live again Have you tried buying unscented deodorant lately? Such a product has become increasingly hard to find, as the makers of personal hygiene products seem to think we all need to smell like scented carpet cleaners. Man, I would rather smell like my own [...]

A living box of candy wrapped up so very fine Do it to me chewy chew me out of my mind I thought I’d dreamed it. I saw it. I bought it. I ate it. I loved it. And I dreamed about it. But then, was it all a dream, after all? NO! Because my [...]

She had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton Back in 1965 It’s Bumpits! The famous as-seen-on-TV “hair volumizing leave-in inserts! (Careful. When you visit the Bumpits site, a loud voice tells you that “Bumpits is PUMPING UP the volume!” That may be your cue to turn your volume off.) Anyway, for the two of you who haven’t [...]

Call me now baby, and I’d come a running Have you bought a phone recently? It seems you can’t buy just one phone anymore. You automatically get all these extra bonus phones. I could see the point of more phones if we all weren’t using cordless phones already, but now with the technology that allows [...]

And oh, what heights we’ll hit 0 BACKGROUND For years, Dave has been searching for Quisp. THE PRESENT I’m leafing thru a flyer for a high-end grocery store called Fresh Market. They’re known for their produce, deli section, and incredible baked goods. Apparently, they are now also known for selling Quisp, because there it is. [...]

Pour a little sugar on it, honey Oh, boy, oh, boy, OH, BOY! My new cereal marshmallows are here! Remember that whole cereal marshmallow debacle? You can read about it here, or you might prefer to enjoy this brief summary: I ordered some cereal marshmallows online, and they sucked. And, of course, I had to [...]