I’m back in the saddle again
I’m BAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK!

Wake up your neighbors, lock up your children, dress up your cats, and start frying the bacon.

JD IS BACK (and better than ever? YES, duh!).

Phew. So, how do you blog again? I know it has something to do with words and pictures.

Deep-fried Twinkie

There! Am I done? Geez, that was easy. Why the huge delay? Except it literally took me 10 minutes to remember how to insert a picture.

Yeah. It’s been a while. And yeah, I, too, am damn sick of looking at that same fireman post. MOVE IT, fireman post!

I appreciate the thousands of cards and letters and gifts of cash that came streaming in mere hours after my last post. I shan’t bore you with the details of my absence . . . or shall I? No, I shan’t. Mostly because I love saying “shan’t.”

Let’s go back in time, shan’t we? (Doesn’t work — ed.) To an almost interminable (for you) three months and 11 days ago:

OCTOBER 17, 2010

At the time, I didn’t realize it would be my last post of the year. I also didn’t realize I’d get 92 comments on that post — most of them bitching about where was I and why wasn’t I doing things? No worries, I thought. I was sure I’d post again . . . any day now!

Every now and then, I’d peer into my drafts folder for inspiration. Ooh! Here’s “Ideas for Return Post.” Bingo how fun! I knew it would be jam-packed with funny and cute and sparkling gems and bon mots and such. Here’s a screen-shot:

No, you’re not blind. There’s nothing there. Why I felt the need to save a draft post filled with pure emptiness is a question for larger brains than mine.

Oh but then OK! I found “Ideas for NEXT Post.” Whew, this is it. Anticipatingly(?), I opened it to find an array of one-line ideas for posts:

• I can’t find that one gray shirt (insert photo of other gray shirts)
• I have a superefficient method for storing cords (photo of tangled cords in basket)
• I hog all the dressing (photo of tiny amount of dressing I left for Dave. Dressing vs. stuffing?)

. . . ?

After a while, I was afraid to even go to my site, for fear I’d see something like this:

Time passed. My brain grew emptier. Even my Facebook updates were lame:

Julia DeGraf is thankful she didn’t throw up in a hot yoga class of 50-plus.

Hahahahahahaha . . . ha . . . ha . . . no.

But comments and e-mails continued to roll in, like this comment on my Mad Cow post:

hey b**ch mad cow disease aint funny people die from it b**ch i hope for all you do get the disease you stupid uneducated sl*t

to which I gleefully responded:

The very fact that you are unable to see the humor in Mad Cow Disease is clear evidence that you, in fact, suffer from Mad Cow Disease.

Then there was this perfectly reasonable e-mail from a disgruntled Kindle user:

I love your blog, but I’ve had to drop it from my Kindle since you haven’t posted anything new since October! Even a dollar a month is too much to pay for nothing. Hope you start posting again, soon.

to which I gleefully responded:

The very fact that you would even pay a dollar a month to read my blog is clear evidence that you, in fact, suffer from Mad Cow Disease.

NO! Kindle users, please come back! Those dollars pay for my much-needed sushi! I love you — I love you all!

And I’m sorry.

Sorry for not being here to do things so you don’t have to.

Some of my Facebook friends (who apparently weren’t completely repulsed by my lame status updates) came to my rescue with suggestions of things I could do: Eat some mealworms! Go into outerspace! Learn German! Pee your pants during Laughter Yoga! (done, only it was Bikram yoga), Skydive! Ride a motorcycle! Interview a clown (aw hell no). Eat crickets! Eat by yourself! EAT A DONUT CHEESEBURGER!

Whether or not I will do any of these things remains to be seen. What is certain, however, is that I will continue to do things.

Things!

Glorious, stupid, frantic, sizzling THINGS!

Wondrous, magical, fantabulous, cray-zay things, the nature of which . . .

OK, I’m probably just gonna write about that time I ate a deep-fried Twinkie.

But admit it: You’re glad I did it, aren’t you?

I give my complete attention to a very good friend of mine
He's quadrophonic

This is the story of a laptop who died and the brave woman who struggled to find meaning in a life with no laptop.

(Hint: I am that brave woman. And the laptop who died? WAS MINE!)

(Yes, I refer to my laptop as a “who,” not a “what.”)

I believe it was the wise-beyond-her-years Cardiogirl who once said, “Trying to blog on a strange computer is like trying to take a crap in someone else’s bathroom.” Or she might’ve said “dump” instead of “crap.” Or she might not have said this at all, but someone did. And it’s true.

Turns out I cannot blog anywhere but on my laptop (who is not only a “who” but a “she”). I sat at my decrepit desktop computer (definitely an “it”), and the words just wouldn’t come. So I couldn’t blog. I couldn’t even read other blogs, because that decrepit desktop? Is really uncomfortable to sit at.

I couldn’t watch my beloved Hulu, listen to Mel Gibson’s mad rantings, or watch Lindsay Lohan beg for mercy. Because that decrepit desktop? Has no sound.

Why don’t you just put me in one of those sensory deprivation boxes and LET ME DIE???

Because I cannot die. I have things to do. So you don’t have to.

Like what, you ask? Well, when you don’t have a laptop, you watch a lot of TV. That’s just basic math. I believe the equation looks something like this:

no laptop = more TV

If that equation is too complicated, just move on.

TV comforted me and showed me many wondrous things.

• VH1′s Two-Hit Wonders reminded me how cute that guy in Jesus Jones used to be and how awesome that OTHER song by Fine Young Cannibals is.
• BBC’s Kitchen Nightmares taught me that Gordon Ramsey’s f-bombs get bleeped, but he can apparently call someone a “limp dick” with no repercussions.
• The Game Show Network has the “new” Newlywed Game! Sample question: “Men, if your wife was a car, and you had to follow the rule of putting your hands at 10 and 2 on a steering wheel, where would your hands be?” All men: “SIX!!!!!!!” (Really, “six”? I would’ve thought, like 9 and 3.)

But the most awesome TV experience had to be my discovery of On Demand. Oh, I knew you could watch movies via this magical channel named “1,” but I did NOT know I could catch up on Top Chef, rewatch old Mad Men episodes, or grind along to (head explodes) EXERCISE TV!!! With each click of the remote, a new and awesome choice revealed itself. Choices I felt compelled to scream at Dave every five seconds as he tried to work in the office.

“OHMYGOD you can watch Naked News!!!”

“OHMYGOD you can watch Styx! IN CONCERT! Wait. They only do one song. BUT IT’S ‘RENEGADE’!!!”

“OHMYGOD you can watch MTV’s True Life! And it’s the one about the porn industry!!!”

And it was all free! Well, except for Naked News.

• I also read. I slurped up the 2d and 3d books of Stieg Larsson’s trilogy like delicious melty ice cream.
• I contracted Humidity Sickness.
• I managed to get covered in tar (more on that later).
• I put up a new shower curtain and is it just me or is that the most horrible of tasks? The standing! The raised arms — aching for relief! The things that won’t poke through the little holes! Oh, my patience was tested that day, my friends.

But mostly I watched TV.

And now I’ve got some big decisions to make. Hulu’s Hell’s Kitchen? Or On Demand’s The Sperminator?

It’s going to be a busy day.

*        *        *

Can YOU write or be creative on a strange computer? Does anyone use pen and paper anymore? And what about Mel Gibson? Crazy? Racist? Misogynist? (Answer: ALL OF THE ABOVE.)

AND! Coming soon on I Do Things: “How to Get a Lot of Comments.” (It has something to do with leaving the same post up for three weeks.)

___________________

Dead computer came from here

I walk and walk, do nothing

OK, so . . .

Do you ever get fabulous offers from marketing wizards who are simply dying to promote your site for absolutely nothing in return? YES? Good. Send ‘em over to me, would ya?

Because I seem to attract a lot of dumbasses.

Why, just this week, I received this tempting query:

Would you be interested in exchanging 2 free weeks of advertising for a blog review of our website? [My site] has a humorous feature where you rank pictures of girls based on which you think is hottest.

We’ll put a  link to your site in our column for 2 weeks if you are willing to write a short blog about our site. If you would like, we’re willing to write the blog for you to save you the time.

Not so bad, you say? Well, behold the subject line:

“Cross-Marketing for Your I Do Nothing Blog“

Nicely done, asshat. Because, yeah. I do nothing. Good research skillz. That’s the name of my blog. Right? I DO NOTHING! It’s a blog about nothing! What a great idea! NOTHING!

I was steamed, my friends, and I’m sure you can understand why. I do EVERYTHING! What don’t I do? And if I haven’t done it yet . . . I WILL!

I was so mad I decided to forward the e-mail to my friend, Junk Drawer Kathy, who gets her share of idiotic “offers.” I wrote her the following imaginary reply:

WHAT. THE. F@#^$&@*$@#$%????????????????????

You don’t even get my freaking blog title right?

Ranking hot girls?

Write my blog for me for your crappy site?

WTF?????????????????

Swear-y!

Except then I hit “reply.”

So, instead of a typically hilarious and indignant response from Kathy, I got this from the would-be cross-marketer:

Go on . . .

Oh. Oops. Well, he deserved it. Kind of. No. I felt bad. I would never use that many swear symbols on even the most heinous of spammers. So I apologized, and he was cool.

But secretly, I admire myself for accidentally telling him off.

*        *        *

In related news, I just got a spam comment on a post I don’t even remember writing. Which is weird, since the post includes a photo of me in my underwear. You’d think I’d remember that.

I guess spammers are useful after all.

__________________

To-do list came from here

Share on Facebook

Vote, baby, vote

UPDATE!

I won!

Can you freaking believe it? I couldn’t have done it without YOU, my non-dorky readers. Thank you for voting. I will now carry on my dorkly duties with pride and a little bit of embarrassment. Thanks, Lin!

And as Margaret from Nanny Goats once said, “We’re ALL dorks . . . I mean, winners.”

*        *        *

Some of you may have seen this photo recently. Oh, I’m not talking about its recent appearance on THIS blog but at Lin’s Dork Off II over at Duck and Wheel with String.

Yes, I am competing with other dorks (including the mysteriously named “Baby Corn”) for the title of . . . dork? Hmmm. How did I get roped into this one? Anyway, I guess it’s an honor to be a dork, so won’t you please vote for me? If you don’t think I’m dorky enough, there are plenty of other good dorks to choose from.

If I win this prestigious title, I get the honor of . . . sharing it with Lola, who won the first Dork Off.

And the glory of beating Baby Corn.

But you must vote by the end of today!

Lin made this contest real easy-like by just asking people to submit their dorkiest photos. But to give you more reason to vote for me, I submit:

The 4 Most Dorky Things I Ever Dorked

• When I was 11, I loved looking up big words in my thesaurus and using them in sentences for vocabulary exercises. One such word was “ejaculate.”
• Those orange elephant pants? They were part of a three-piece ensemble. Orange vest, orange elephant pants, and patterned blouse. I wore this proudly through the halls of my junior high school. Somehow I didn’t get beat up.
• I almost got beat up by one of the tough girls in junior high. No, not for the elephant pants but for imitating how she squinted her eyes. Those squinty eyes fell on me at the wrong time, unfortunately, and I was busted. “Meet me on the hill,” she said ominously and extra-squintingly. I ran home bawling to my neighbor to protect me.
• While all the cheerleader-types were doing their modern dance routines to “Beach Baby” and “Who Do You Think You Are,” my friend Sheri and I were busting out the moves to Alice Cooper’s “You Gotta Dance,” complete with inappropriate grinding movements. Yes, I still remember the routines.

*        *        *

And now I have some sad, non-dorky news.

I am leaving.

This Friday, Dave and I will board a plane headed for Jamaica, where we will stay forever. No, not forever, exactly. Maybe just a week. Can we stand to be parted from each other for a week? I can’t. I’m not going! Wow, I really am a dork. No, of COURSE I’m going, and you’ll just have to deal with it. I’m not even sure I’ll have a post to

Wait. I stopped mid-sentence to let a howling Prudence into the bedroom, where Dave is trying to sleep. When I came back, I read that above fragment as “I’m not even sure I’ll have a potato.”

Oh, my GOD! I hope they have potatoes in Jamaica! I’m pretty sure they do. But what if they try to feed me sweet potatoes? Man, I hate those!

OK, obviously, I’m quite upset. I’ll miss you. I hope you won’t mind if this site gathers dust for the next week or so while I gather skin cancer and eat non-sweet-potatoes.

You KNOW I’ll be busy doing some good “things” so you don’t have to, right?

I may get another post (or potato) up between now and my return. If not, fly your dork flags high!

And don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

Christmas time is here
Something . . . something CHEER!

Wow! It’s time for . . .

10 Mysterious Christmas Facts about JD!

1. I once “ruined Christmas” by finding an unwrapped Crissy doll in my mom’s closet. Crissy dolls had hair that you could make longer by pulling it out through a hole in the skull. I pulled a little too hard.
   
2. I don’t like A Christmas Story.
3. I don’t like Crissy dolls.
4. Although I can’t remember the year I learned there was no Santa Claus or even how I felt about it, I do recall with frightening clarity the exact moment I discovered that the Partridge Family didn’t all do their own singing. Devastating. “I MUST sleep over at Marcia’s!” I dramatically proclaimed to my mom.
5. My favorite gifts are cash and, apparently, foreign cake:

Is that only 5? Well, look, y’all, this is my busy season. I’ve been donning the halls, walking in a winter wonderland, asking people, “Do you hear what I hear? (the voices . . . THE VOICES!), going to a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray (it really was the perfect ending to a perfect day), eating figgy pudding (thanks, HEATHER!), checking my list . . . oh, wait, that’s Santa.

My point is, this is no time to be ungrateful. Lookit all I’ve done for you over the years!

Since July 2007, your JD gave to you:

12 strips of bacon

11 lawsuits pending

10 eargasms

9 rock star bulges

8 meaty prime ribs

7 hairy inches (EW!)

6 cookies baking

5 VI-CO-DINS! (X 5,000)

4 cat puke hash browns

3 Bumpits bumping

2 sardines stinking

And a JD on a nude beach!!!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

[Edited to add: I am an idiot. Thank you to Junk Drawer Kathy for dragging around that damn video camera and filming my reading. I had such a blast and can't imagine BlogHer without you.]

[Edited AGAIN: I am a dumbass royale. Kathy not only filmed the video, she is the one who suggested the "Concussion" post and persuaded me to submit it. NONE of this would've happened without her.]

Well, you didn’t think I was going to do it without my anxiety meds, didya?

Because that wasn’t going to happen, my friends.

So while I was talkative and receptive and vivacious and “on” for most of the wonderful BlogHer experience, there was a brief period, about an hour before the Keynote, when this happened:

A Drugged-Up JD Wanders Around Aimlessly, Looking for Her Free Poken and Saying Stuff

Part 1 (1:34)

Part 2 (0:16)

Part 3 (0:36)

But amazingly, I pulled it together, because then THIS happened:

Click here to watch JD Share Her Post “I Faked a Concussion So You Don’t Have To”

Did you see what I did there? I didn’t read my post. I TOLD it. I worked hard to memorize it, because I felt it wouldn’t be as funny if I read it. Still, I was nervous, because telling rather than reading means you stumble over words, forget, or blank out. But it went surprisingly well. Thank you to everyone who came up to me afterward and told me you’d had similar experiences. I’m glad I wasn’t the only faking, selfish, lying monster of a child.

That was Friday. Saturday was Tim Gunn Day. But that’s another post.

Maybe.

A happy JD waits for Tim Gunn

_____________________________________

Congratulations to Maureen of I’d Rather Be Blogging, for guessing the correct post! Maureen, please visit the I Do Things store and pick out your prize!

_____________________________________

SEE! Photos from BlogHer Day 1

SEE! Photos from BlogHer Day 2

SEE! Photos from Kathy’s Visit to Chicago

_________________________________

A HUGE shout-out to my fellow Keynoters, all of whom were awesome.

1. Georgia Getz of i am bossy kicks things off with some poetry: Dr. Seuss’ ode to a Blog Conference

2. Issa of Issas Crazy World blogs about her Uncle Marky

3. Karen Walrond of Chookoloonks reads Reflections on why the election of Barack Obama affected me so deeply

4. Sheri Reed of Today Is Pretty speaks on making amends

5. JD of I Do Things So You Don’t Have To tells BlogHer I Faked a Concussion

6. Mike Adamick of Cry It Out asks, Don’t all kids play in vacant warehouses?

7. Pam Mandel of Nerd’s Eye View has the Wheelie Suitcase Blues

8. Amy Turn Sharp of doobleh-vay ruminates On September 3rd 1973, at 6:28pm and 32 seconds, a bluebottle fly capable of 14,670 wing beats a minute landed on Rue St Vincent, Montmartre

9. Black Hockey Jesus of Wind in Your Vagina talks to his daughter with 5

10. Danielle Henderson of Knotty Yarn gets stuck in the middle with you

11. Tanis Miller, the Redneck Mommy, announces Dear Internet, I’m Placing You on Notice

12. Tarrant Figlio of Retro Food sings a Love Song in a Foreign Language

13. Grace Davis of State of Grace finds Forgiveness where it belongs

14. Melissa Ford of Stirrup Queens tells a story of Updating the Donation Room Porn

15. Pauline Edwards of Classy Chaos explores Finding my place in the world, as an immigrant

16. Wendi Aarons of Wendi Aarons confesses her Coke dependency

17. Nina Gotua of Laughs! Thrills! Pathos! opens Memory box 1

18. Kelly Graham-Scherer of Don Mills Diva says Privacy? Schmivacy

19. Corynne Corbett of That Black Girl Site looks at what happens When White Women Become Experts on Michelle Obama’s (And Our) Hair

20. Catherine Conners of Her Bad Mother pays tribute to a Lost Boy

21. Finishing the evening, Heather Spohr of The Spohrs Are Multiplying reads Known

_________________

Thank you again to Fiona from Bantering Blonde and StartPoken for the free Poken.

And thank you, Ree, from The Pioneer Woman, for sending me the above photo.

JD and Kathy with Tim Gunn

_________________________

Oh, my Zod.

It was fun.

It was exhausting.

It was inspiring, exciting, and colorful.

It was a bit overwhelming.

I met wonderful new people and connected with bloggers I “know.”

I didn’t puke.

I hugged Tim Gunn.

I ate a lot.

I didn’t go to any after-parties.

I did my thing at the Community Keynote.

I did it rather well.

I picked up some good blogging tips.

I laughed a lot.

I talked a lot.

I looked fine.

My throat hurts.

My feet hurt.

I didn’t drink enough water.

I didn’t forget anything or lose anything.

It was awesome.

I am going to BlogHer 2010 in NY.

I’ll write a real post tomorrow (I think), but for now, please enjoy my photos and this short film, which was taken at the cocktail party, end of Day 1. It might help you to know I was still pretty doped up from my reading.

Day 1 photos

Day 2 photos

JD Post Keynote Reading

The files in your head, you take them to bed
You’re never ever through

Would it surprise you to learn that brilliant blog posts don’t pop into my fertile brain, fully formed and ready to publish? Yes? Well, guess what? I’m just like you. I have tons of ideas sitting in my drafts folder. All, obviously, are brilliant. I just haven’t had the time to develop them. Maybe I never will. Oh, don’t say that! Of course I will. They just need to simmer a bit longer. Maybe you can help me turn some of these brilliant ideas into actual posts.

Some of my drafts have only keywords for titles and a few sentences:

Nut Box

So now there’s this thing where we’re supposed to carry our nuts in a box.

No, this is nothing like Dick in a Box.

The people at Real Simple magazine, in an effort to keep things Real and Simple, have decided that the best way for us to make sure we eat our nuts is to have a special box to carry them around in. (Note: This would’ve been brilliant if I had found the link to prove I wasn’t making it up).

Halloween

Tonight I will be that mean old lady who doesn’t turn on her porch light and refuses to answer the door. I may even put up a sign: “No Candy Here—Not Even the Crappy Kind.”

Giving Up Potato Chips

Oh, crabapples! This is harder than I expected. I’m one day in, and I want my salty fix.

Mother-in-Law/Tomato

Very lucky in the in-laws department.

But there is one area over which my MIL and I clash and will always clash: the cold tomato

Rock Star Bulges

Recently, I told Dave about Adam Lambert’s performance on American Idol‘s “Rock and Roll” theme night. While there was, sadly, no Zepplinesque gong-on-fire ending during Adam’s awesome rendition of “Whole Lotta Love,” there was a whole lotta crotch. Now, suddenly, Adam’s crotch is upon us, so it’s time to talk about it.

Chicken in a Can

Damn. I should have struck while the iron was hot, but after just a few weeks, everyone was blogging about this.

The Day After Christmas

Hmmm. This had potential. But what rhymes with “curlers”?

‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house
Not a cat toy was played with, not even Pink Mouse!

The presents were hidden in closets and drawers
In hopes that wee Prudence wouldn’t scratch them with clawrs

The cat beds were laid on the foot of the bed
In hopes that the cats would there rest their head(s)

And visions of iTunes . . . JD’s head (?)

And Dave in his bathrobe and I in my curlers

Some drafts actually progressed to the point of earning a title

I Went to the Ballet

This idea was based on a sole quote from Dave: “Where will you be dining? You at least have to have a scone. Every ballet has to have a scone stand.” Sadly, that’s all I had.

I’m Going Cold Turkey

You read that right. Cold turkey. I’m going.

I Hate Things

Milk flakes. Oh, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. Milk flakes gather at the rim of the milk jug and sprinkle into your coffee when you pour. You can’t get them out either. (I find it hard to believe I couldn’t come up with more things I hate.)

I Have Mad Cow Disease

encounter with stranger at Barnes & Noble (ummm . . . ?)

And some never progressed beyond the title

• Old People Are Ruining My Life
• I Like to Move It, Move It
• I Eat Healthy (what the hell?)
• I’m a

Yes, I actually felt the need to save an empty file with the title “I’m a.”

So? Which of these tender young seedlings deserves to grow into a beautiful, brilliant, blooming I Do Things tree of brilliance?

What are some of your brilliant draft ideas?

By speaking, I mean reading. And by reading, I mean puking.

Who wants to come and watch me puke?

It all started as a harmless joke. Junk Drawer Kathy sent me the link from BlogHer asking for bloggers to submit a favorite post. The chosen posts would be read by their authors at the Community Keynote on Friday, July 24, of the BlogHer Convention. We laughed about how if either of us had to actually stand in front of people and talk, we’d puke, have a panic attack, or die. Or all three. Kathy urged me to submit a post, so, jokingly, I did.

And . . . OH MY ZOD! They picked me! What do I do? I guess I show up and read my damn post. It’ll be terrifying but fun. I’ll have to sleep on rollers for a week and lose 50 pounds in about a month. My mom’s advice: “Buy a nice dress. And not on ebay.” But what if I puke on it? Oh, come on now. I haven’t puked in public in months. It’ll be fine.

Seriously, I’m thrilled to be participating in the company of so many awesome bloggers. There are five categories—Epiphanies, Commentary, Family, Travel, and Humor—and four speakers for each category. Please check out my fellow Humor speakers:

• Wendi Aarons from Wendi Aarons
• Georgia Getz from I am Bossy
• Danielle Henderson from Knotty Yarn

Crap! I just peeked at their blogs. They are all funny.

Read the entire list of keynote speakers here

Are You Going to BlogHer?

Please come watch me puke—I mean, read. The Community Keynote starts at 5:00 on Friday.

Find me! Or tell me how to find you. The first ten people who come up to me and say, “You do things so I don’t have to” will be handed a FREE I Do Things sticker.

How will you know me? Oh, my darlings, have you not been paying attention? I’ll be the one with the big butt, the snarly hair, the huge honker, the scarred foot, the curvy spine, the bulbous goiter, the missing tooth, the mutant tongue. I might be eating bacon. I will not, however, be nude.

Also, I’ll be carrying a tote bag with my Sleeping Cat logo and I’ll be with Kathy, whom you will all recognize by her fabulous hair and and the constant stream of hilarious snark coming out of her mouth. I may also have a giant novelty flower in my hair. I’ll let you know.

Can’t Make It to BlogHer?

I have a fun, play-at-home game for you. The post I’m reading? Is a secret. So . . . you get to guess. GUESS THE POST! That’s it! The first person to guess which post I’ll be reading at BlogHer will WIN an item of their choice from my I Do Things store. Please write the title of the post in your comment. I cannot accept vague descriptions like “That one where you’re naked.” The contest will end at midnight, Thursday the 23d. After BlogHer, I’ll announce the winner.

I’ll also post the video. I’ll be the one puking, and Kathy will be the one holding my hair.

Yesterday morning, I published a post comparing photos of Kobe Bryant and Ed Grimley. The timestamp on my blog is messed up, but the post went up around 8AM Central Time. I shared the link on Facebook (note time):

LATER THAT DAY, eagle-eye reader absepa sent me this:

Wow. USA Today‘s sports blog “Game On” posted something VERY similar to my Kobe-Grimley post here, a good two hours after my post went up.

Coincidence . . . or THIEVERY?

Eh, probably coincidence. But it could be thievery! And wouldn’t that be exciting? Either way, I saw it first. You guys will back me up, right?

I would greatly appreciate your support in publicizing this egregious . . . coincidence. PLEASE Digg, Stumble, Reddit this post. Send it to your local newspaper! Paper your neighborhood with flyers. Comment on the USA Today blog. I seek neither revenge nor remuneration, only recognition.

I SAW KOBE GRIMLEY FIRST!