Archive for the 'I Am Grossed Out' Category

Better watch out for the skin tag

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FIRST-EVER GUEST POST AT I DO THINGS!
My policy on guest posts has always been a big selfish NO! because it’s my blog and get your own blog. But then this poor soul reached out to me and said, “Wise JD, your readers — and [...]




48 Comments

I Take it Orally

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small

Something’s been bothering me lately and, not surprisingly, it has to do with butts.
Butts. We all have one. Hopefully only one! Wait . . . nope! I knew it. There’s at least one poor guy out there with two.
Anyway, for those of us who have only [...]




54 Comments

If you go down to the woods today
You’d better not go alone

Hey, let me ask you guys something.
Has anyone ever chased you around with a whisk broom? While you were naked? And giggling?
I’m willing to bet this has happened to maybe 1% of our population, and yet this is the scenario dreamt up by the [...]




107 Comments

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be

Hey, y’all!
It’s another food post! Should I just bag the whole I Do Things concept and rename this blog “JD’s Dumbass Emporium of Food and Medical Procedures”? You can get back to me on that.
Anyway, for about a hundred years my mom has been rhapsodizing about the virtues [...]




50 Comments

I Ate a Chicken Foot

Chicken in the bread pan, pickin’ out dough

Chicken foot, chicken foot, I ate a chicken foot (to be sung to the tune of “Lollipop.”)
Sooo, what’s up, chicken butt! Did you ever say that as a child? I said it often, as a college student. I still think it’s funny. People’s reactions to this perfectly reasonable [...]




57 Comments

I Ate Cat Puke

Ooh, that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?

OK, I didn’t literally eat cat puke, but by the end of this post . . . well, you’ll see.
(“NO WE WON’T” proclaim 10,000 grossed-out-already readers.)
Oh, yes. You will.
So it was on daylight savings night that we learned the lesson again: Cats cannot tell time. It was 5 AM [...]




57 Comments




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