I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

Tweet Better watch out for the skin tag 0 o o o o o o WEE-OOO WEE-OOO WEE-OOO WEE-OOO WEE-OOO WEE-OOO FIRST-EVER GUEST POST AT I DO THINGS! My policy on guest posts has always been a big selfish NO! because it’s my blog and get your own blog. But then this poor soul reached [...]

Tweet One pill makes you larger And one pill makes you small Something’s been bothering me lately and, not surprisingly, it has to do with butts. Butts. We all have one. Hopefully only one! Wait . . . nope! I knew it. There’s at least one poor guy out there with two. Anyway, for those [...]

Tweet If you go down to the woods today You’d better not go alone Hey, let me ask you guys something. Has anyone ever chased you around with a whisk broom? While you were naked? And giggling? I’m willing to bet this has happened to maybe 1% of our population, and yet this is the [...]

Tweet The mush was as tasty As tasty could be Hey, y’all! It’s another food post! Should I just bag the whole I Do Things concept and rename this blog “JD’s Dumbass Emporium of Food and Medical Procedures”? You can get back to me on that. Anyway, for about a hundred years my mom has [...]

Tweet Chicken in the bread pan, pickin’ out dough Chicken foot, chicken foot, I ate a chicken foot (to be sung to the tune of “Lollipop.”) Sooo, what’s up, chicken butt! Did you ever say that as a child? I said it often, as a college student. I still think it’s funny. People’s reactions to [...]

Tweet Ooh, that smell Can’t you smell that smell? OK, I didn’t literally eat cat puke, but by the end of this post . . . well, you’ll see. (“NO WE WON’T” proclaim 10,000 grossed-out-already readers.) Oh, yes. You will. So it was on daylight savings night that we learned the lesson again: Cats cannot [...]