Archive for the 'I Am Grossed Out' Category

I Ate a Chicken Foot

Chicken in the bread pan, pickin’ out dough

Chicken foot, chicken foot, I ate a chicken foot (to be sung to the tune of “Lollipop.”)
Sooo, what’s up, chicken butt! Did you ever say that as a child? I said it often, as a college student. I still think it’s funny. People’s reactions to this perfectly reasonable [...]




56 Comments

I Ate Cat Puke

Ooh, that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?

OK, I didn’t literally eat cat puke, but by the end of this post . . . well, you’ll see.
(”NO WE WON’T” proclaim 10,000 grossed-out-already readers.)
Oh, yes. You will.
So it was on daylight savings night that we learned the lesson again: Cats cannot tell time. It was 5 AM [...]




57 Comments

I May Have Mad Cow Disease

All aboard . . .

Mad Cow Disease is no joke. Especially when it’s happening to me. Really, only when it’s happening to me, otherwise, it’s pretty damn funny, let’s be honest. I mean, it’s called “Mad Cow,” which is hilarious. And, yes, I realize the scientific name is something like “Bovine Spongybrain” or something, but [...]




50 Comments

I Will Be Cremated

Baby, who turned the temperature hotter?

Oven guy came from here
______________________________________
What’s your take on ashes?
I mean, of the human kind?
Should the “cremains” of your loved ones be scattered or stored? Perhaps you’d prefer to eat them or shoot them off into space?
Cremains are the cremated remains of a dead body. These flecks of burned-up skin and [...]




67 Comments

I kinda like that
I wanna tap that

Recently I discovered a fun-filled Web site that’s all about SEX only funny.
It’s called Can I Tap That, and for those of you who don’t have a copy of Urban Dictionary handy, that phrase simply means “Can I have sex with yo’ ass?” Uh, not literally the ASS part, [...]




51 Comments

I Was Attacked by Birds

The young ones are hungry
Their nests are so bare

Even today, I wake up screaming.
That doesn”t happen, actually. The “wake up screaming” part. But I thought it’d be a more dramatic way to start this post than “One day I was walking along and a bird attacked me.” Yes. Singular bird. Also less dramatic than the [...]




72 Comments




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