I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

We gotta get out of this place Soooo . . . it’s been a while. I know. Get over it. Hey, did I ever tell you I used to suffer from panic attacks? NO? Well, no wonder. Panic attacks aren’t very funny. Oh, sure, it’s funny when it happens to someone else. HAHAHAHA! Can’t walk half a [...]

  Do you ever remember me, baby? OK, so a decade has passed since my last post. And that’s the closest thing to an apology you’re gonna get. More to the point, what have I been doing all this time? Oh, lots of stuff. I’m still doing the torturous Bikram yoga. I celebrated Dave’s birthday [...]

Long stem roses are the key to your heart But he needs to start with your head That’s right, SUCKAHS! 50 years of awesomeness, wrapped up in one gorgeous package. You can look all you want, but no you may not touch. 50-year-old JD is fragile, y’all. 50-year-old JD is also somewhat bewildered as to [...]

Hungry for the meeting The dinner we’ll be eating All this recent talk of mealworms made me remember one of my bucket list entries: Purchase and eat a McDonald’s Happy Meal — without getting caught! Because you have to have proof of child, right, to legitimately buy a Happy Meal? I mean, there’s a reason [...]

I’m back in the saddle again I’m BAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK! Wake up your neighbors, lock up your children, dress up your cats, and start frying the bacon. JD IS BACK (and better than ever? YES, duh!). Phew. So, how do you blog again? I know it has something to do with words and pictures. Deep-fried Twinkie There! [...]

You’re poison runnin’ through my veins So I just discovered that there’s this thing called an “alarm” and it gets you out of bed! Oh, STOOPID JD, I can hear you yell. Everyone knows that an alarm clock will wake you up. Well, who’s stoopid now because it was NOT an alarm clock that got [...]