Archive for 2011

Tweet We gotta get out of this place Soooo . . . it’s been a while. I know. Get over it. Hey, did I ever tell you I used to suffer from panic attacks? NO? Well, no wonder. Panic attacks aren’t very funny. Oh, sure, it’s funny when it happens to someone else.┬áHAHAHAHA!┬áCan’t walk half […]


I Ate a Jordan Almond

Tweet   Do you ever remember me, baby? OK, so a decade has passed since my last post. And that’s the closest thing to an apology you’re gonna get. More to the point, what have I been doing all this time? Oh, lots of stuff. I’m still doing the torturous Bikram yoga. I celebrated Dave’s […]


I AM 50

Tweet Long stem roses are the key to your heart But he needs to start with your head That’s right, SUCKAHS! 50 years of awesomeness, wrapped up in one gorgeous package. You can look all you want, but no you may not touch. 50-year-old JD is fragile, y’all. 50-year-old JD is also somewhat bewildered as […]


I Scammed a Happy Meal

Tweet Hungry for the meeting The dinner we’ll be eating All this recent talk of mealworms made me remember one of my bucket list entries: Purchase and eat a McDonald’s Happy Meal — without getting caught! Because you have to have proof of child, right, to legitimately buy a Happy Meal? I mean, there’s a […]


I STILL Do Things (damn it!)

Tweet I’m back in the saddle again I’m BAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKK! Wake up your neighbors, lock up your children, dress up your cats, and start frying the bacon. JD IS BACK (and better than ever? YES, duh!). Phew. So, how do you blog again? I know it has something to do with words and pictures. Deep-fried Twinkie […]



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