I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

The way she powders her nose Her vanity shows and it shows ‘Tis the season not to hate people Tra la la . . . OH MAN HOW I HATE THAT ONE LADY! She’s so selfish! So jerkass-ish! So STOOPID! There aren’t enough exclamation points in the world to express how much I hate her. [...]

Christmas time is here Something . . . something CHEER! Wow! It’s time for . . . 10 Mysterious Christmas Facts about JD! I once “ruined Christmas” by finding an unwrapped Crissy doll in my mom’s closet. Crissy dolls had hair that you could make longer by pulling it out through a hole in the [...]

If you give in to these people, then . . . you give in! Cor dear, as Gordon Ramsay and other British people say. I always knew it would happen some day, I just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon. Yup. Your beloved JD has received a death threat. I’m sure it’s the first of [...]

But glittering prizes And endless compromises Shatter the illusion of integrity It’s TIIIIIIIIIIIIME! Time to announce the WINNERSSSSSSSSSSS! Thanks to everyone who played, even when it was pretty obvious that the contest was WON and DONE. I think maybe I suck at contests. I always seem to leave out an important rule or caveat, and [...]

WOOOOO!!! It’s a contest! And it has nothing to do with the holidays or homeless cats or raising money for victims of snow-shoveling-related injuries. It has EVERYTHING to do with ME, JD! All you have to do is answer the questions below. These questions will test your knowledge of all things JD. How well do [...]

I don’t want to hear it ‘Cuz I know what I’ve done OK! So I went to see my orthopedist for my MRI results. BUT FIRST! Like everyone else, I had to wait. In a packed waiting room. Christmas carols blasting over the speakers and small children running around. A woman hacking WITH PHLEGM into [...]