Archive for October, 2009

I Got a Shot

Shot through the butt
And you’re to blame
You give butts
A BAD NAME

Hi!
I had to get a shot the other day, and I thought I’d share my experience with you. I know many of y’all are squeamish (I first typed “squeamous”!) about getting a shot, so let Dr. JD take you through it in a non-squeamous way.
First, [...]




47 Comments

Years from now when you talk about this
—and you will—
be kind.

My mom is 74.
She has COPD.
And a few other issues.
This week her COPD rehab class is having a Halloween party.
My mom is going as a belly dancer.
And she will dance.
You got a problem with that?

‘Cuz she doesn’t.
DANCE, MOM, DANCE!
// Share




58 Comments

I Bought a Bumpits

She had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton
Back in 1965

It’s Bumpits! The famous as-seen-on-TV “hair volumizing leave-in inserts!
(Careful. When you visit the Bumpits site, a loud voice tells you that “Bumpits is PUMPING UP the volume!” That may be your cue to turn your volume off.)
Anyway, for the two of you who haven’t heard about this fashion [...]




79 Comments

Who are you to judge me?

I know I said recently that I’m not the type to judge, but I NEVER said I was not the type to LIE, so that stuff about not judging was a big lie. Sorr-ee.
You’d better believe I judge. And most of my judgments end in a dramatic thumbs-down.
But not THIS [...]




38 Comments

I Eat Sardines

Packed like sardines into shiny metal boxes

I don’t even remember why, but one day, I bought some sardines. I must’ve been reading an article about sardines and happened to be ravenous at the time. The combination of hunger and what I imagined sardines to taste like churned away in my brain, until the day I [...]




80 Comments

Sacrilicious

Ah HA!
You didn’t even know this was a contest, did you?
Well, neither did I, until I checked out my stats program to see who was clicking on what.
And I can’t say I wasn’t a little bit surprised at what I found out.
You thought no one would know, didn’t you? You just assumed that a simple [...]




42 Comments




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