I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

Tweet Shot through the butt And you’re to blame You give butts A BAD NAME Hi! I had to get a shot the other day, and I thought I’d share my experience with you. I know many of y’all are squeamish (I first typed “squeamous”!) about getting a shot, so let Dr. JD take you [...]

Tweet Years from now when you talk about this —and you will— be kind. My mom is 74. She has COPD. And a few other issues. This week her COPD rehab class is having a Halloween party. My mom is going as a belly dancer. And she will dance. You got a problem with that? [...]

Tweet She had hair like Jeannie Shrimpton Back in 1965 It’s Bumpits! The famous as-seen-on-TV “hair volumizing leave-in inserts! (Careful. When you visit the Bumpits site, a loud voice tells you that “Bumpits is PUMPING UP the volume!” That may be your cue to turn your volume off.) Anyway, for the two of you who [...]

Tweet Who are you to judge me? I know I said recently that I’m not the type to judge, but I NEVER said I was not the type to LIE, so that stuff about not judging was a big lie. Sorr-ee. You’d better believe I judge. And most of my judgments end in a dramatic [...]

Tweet Packed like sardines into shiny metal boxes I don’t even remember why, but one day, I bought some sardines. I must’ve been reading an article about sardines and happened to be ravenous at the time. The combination of hunger and what I imagined sardines to taste like churned away in my brain, until the [...]

Tweet Sacrilicious Ah HA! You didn’t even know this was a contest, did you? Well, neither did I, until I checked out my stats program to see who was clicking on what. And I can’t say I wasn’t a little bit surprised at what I found out. You thought no one would know, didn’t you? [...]