I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

Tweet You all, everybody You all, everybody And you know, now that I think of it, it wasn’t even ME who gave away the ending. It was the barista. Anyway. Rewind to two years ago, the season 3 finale of Lost. Remember? Desmond kept trying to save Charlie, but no matter what he did . [...]

Tweet Get on your bikes and ride Not my actual legs ________________________ My foot is doing great, thanks for (NOT) asking. Lookit. You can barely see the scar (thanks to blurry photography): Just a little swelling: And no more—PRUDENCE! Anyway, after three long months, my foot is healed and ready for weight-bearing exercise. Way back [...]

Tweet Caption contest? Haiku? LOL-ephant? Fail photo? W.T. Fuck? Where in the hell . . . ? What is the elephant thinking? What is the elephant drinking? I don’t know. It’s up to you. Just be gentle. The nice lady in the photo is my beloved aunt.

Tweet Well, the tongue inside my mouth is not for sale Thanks to little pixie for the photo. ______________________ Recently I was told I had a flat throat. After a sleep study and CT scan, a diagnosis has been made. But I think I would’ve been better off not knowing. It’s not my enlarged thyroid. [...]

Tweet The soup was hot and split pea and on the stove This pea came from nataliedee.com Apparently people eat pea soup. I’ve always been aware of this on some level. Recently I bought a can of Progresso split pea with ham. I even ate it. I don’t know why. There are certainly other ways [...]

Tweet I don’t remember, I don’t recall I got no memory of anything at all OK, you know how it is. You do a lot of drugs, specifically amyl nitrate (otherwise known as “poppers,” which, according to the directions, are to be uncapped and left open so that the fumes can waft around the room [...]