2009 archive at I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

Archive for 2009

I Hate That Lady

77 Comments Published by JD December 30th, 2009 in I Watch Stuff.

The way she powders her nose
Her vanity shows and it shows

‘Tis the season not to hate people
Tra la la . . . OH MAN HOW I HATE THAT ONE LADY!
She’s so selfish! So jerkass-ish! So STOOPID! There aren’t enough exclamation points in the world to express how much I hate her.
!!!!! (see?)
Anyway, this lady. You [...]

77 Comments

I Wish You a JD Christmas

59 Comments Published by JD December 24th, 2009 in I Am Kind of Awesome, I Blog.

Christmas time is here
Something . . . something CHEER!

Wow! It’s time for . . .
10 Mysterious Christmas Facts about JD!

I once “ruined Christmas” by finding an unwrapped Crissy doll in my mom’s closet. Crissy dolls had hair that you could make longer by pulling it out through a hole in the skull. I pulled a [...]

59 Comments

I’m Getting Death Threats

67 Comments Published by JD December 20th, 2009 in I Enjoy the Internets.

If you give in to these people, then . . . you give in!

Cor dear, as Gordon Ramsay and other British people say.
I always knew it would happen some day, I just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon.
Yup. Your beloved JD has received a death threat. I’m sure it’s the first of many.
According to TV [...]

67 Comments

I Announce the Winners of My Contest

30 Comments Published by JD December 16th, 2009 in I Give and Receive.

But glittering prizes
And endless compromises
Shatter the illusion of integrity

It’s TIIIIIIIIIIIIME!
Time to announce the WINNERSSSSSSSSSSS!
Thanks to everyone who played, even when it was pretty obvious that the contest was WON and DONE. I think maybe I suck at contests. I always seem to leave out an important rule or caveat, and someone goes home in tears. [...]

30 Comments

I’m Throwing a Contest

31 Comments Published by JD December 13th, 2009 in I Give and Receive.

WOOOOO!!!
It’s a contest!
And it has nothing to do with the holidays or homeless cats or raising money for victims of snow-shoveling-related injuries.
It has EVERYTHING to do with ME, JD!
All you have to do is answer the questions below. These questions will test your knowledge of all things JD. How well do you really know me? [...]

31 Comments

I Got My MRI Results — and Possibly a Lawsuit

56 Comments Published by JD December 9th, 2009 in I See Doctors.

I don’t want to hear it
‘Cuz I know what I’ve done

OK! So I went to see my orthopedist for my MRI results.
BUT FIRST!
Like everyone else, I had to wait. In a packed waiting room. Christmas carols blasting over the speakers and small children running around. A woman hacking WITH PHLEGM into a worryingly flimsy tissue. [...]

56 Comments

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Archives

▼2010 (45)

▼September (1)

I Sweat My Ass Off in Bikram Yoga so you don't have to

▶August (4)

I Went to a Polish Wedding Reception so you don't have to

I Got Covered in Tar so you don't have to

Some Lady Removes a Skin Tag so you (and I) don't have to

I Take Muscle Relaxerrsssss

▶July (4)

I Create (and Eat) The Strandwich!

I Saw Dennis DeYoung

Professor JD Answers Your Questions

I Had Some Downtime

▶June (6)

I Smell Like a Power Surge

I Am a Frightened Nerd

I Take it Orally

I Raise Animals from the Dead

I Went to College

I Will Have a Bacon Cremation

▶May (6)

My Mom Watched American Idol

I Watched Last House on the Left REDUX

I Am Going to Forget I Ever Saw This

I've Been Married for 20 Years

I Make Fruitless Fruit Salad

I Love Puerto Rican Drag Queens

▶April (7)

I Love Karen Carpenter (in a Non-Sexual Way)

I Hit "Reply"

Dr. JD Diagnoses Things

I Might Be a Secret Agent

I Compare Hoboes and Gypsies

I Go Braless

I Win Stuff

▶March (6)

80s Music Videos Saved My Life

I Ate Spaghetti Squash

I Am a Woman of Color

I Spent 5 Days and 4 Nights at a Luxury . . . Hospital

I Eat Alone

I Will Stick to My Day Job

▶February (6)

I Ate a Chicken Foot

I Announce the WINNERS of the Simply Caramel Milky Way Contest

I Am HOME from the Hospital

I Am in the Hospital

I Give Away THREE Simply Caramel Milky Ways

I Dream of the Milky Way

▶January (5)

I Blew the Nostril in Jamaica

I Went to Jamaica and All You Get Are These Lousy Photos

I Am a Dork

I Hit the Panic Button

I Throw Kisses

▶2009 (96)

▶December (9)

I Hate That Lady

I Wish You a JD Christmas

I'm Getting Death Threats

I Announce the Winners of My Contest

I'm Throwing a Contest

I Got My MRI Results -- and Possibly a Lawsuit

I Had an MRI

I Make Announcements -- About CATS

I'm Pretty Busy

▶November (8)

I Go Moji so you don't have to

I Am Thankful

I Am Suing

I Was Interviewed

I Have Great Ideas (Redux)

I Watched "Stud Hunters"

I Ate Cat Puke

Ay, Loca! I Do Cosas

▶October (8)

I Got a Shot

My Mom Shakes It so you don't have to

I Bought a Bumpits

I Judge Things

I Eat Sardines

I Reveal the Results of the Top-Secret Rock Star Bulge Contest

I Lose Things

I Pay Tribute to Rock Star Bulges

▶September (7)

I May Have Mad Cow Disease

I Do Nude

I Cut Hair

I Played Sex Casino

I Kept a Diary

I Have Four . . . er, Three Phones

I Get Zapped

▶August (7)

I Honor My Family

Old People Are Ruining My Life

I Help the Masses

I Will Be Cremated

I Can Tap That so you don't have to

I've About Had It with That One Lady in My Pole Class

I Was Attacked by Birds

▶July (8)

They Call Me Julia

I "Read" at BlogHer (Drugged)

I Am Recovering from BlogHer

I'm Wearing Clothes to BlogHer

I Met My Creepy Neighbor

I Buy Quisp

I Got a New Camera

I Have Brilliant Ideas

▶June (9)

I Embarrass Dave

I Wash Myself with a Rag on a Stick

I Watched Mr. Sardonicus

I Am Speaking at BlogHer

I Ate 100 Calories

I Saw Kobe Grimley First

I Make Acute Observations

I Watched 5 Minutes of a Movie

I Vacuum My Hair

▶May (6)

I Gave Away the Ending to "Lost"

I Ride the Bike

I Am Wordless on Wednesday

I'm Aware of My Tongue

I Ate Some Pea Soup

I Forgot

▶April (9)

I Have Upper Airway Resistance Syndrome

I Was a 10-Year-Old Stylista

I Married a Robot

I Remembered Prudence's Birthday

I Find It Kinda Funny, I Find It Kinda Sad

Am I an Idiot?

I Snapped That Fetus

I Asked "Cake or Death"

I Did a Sleep Study

▶March (8)

I Got a Tube Shoved Up My Nose

I'm Watching the Chicks

I Will Make a Match

I Do Focus Groups

I Crush Children's Dreams

I Have a New Foot

I Eat Expensive Ice Cream

I'm So Vein

▶February (7)

I Had a Bunionectomy

Musing Does Things

I Am Deformed

I Was Scarred for Life

I Get Hurt

I Will Continue Dancing

I Hate Moths

▶January (10)

I Reveal Dave's Snail

I Enjoy Exotic Caribbean Cuisine

My Brother Does Things

I Am Wordless (and Topless) on Wednesday

I'm Going to Eat Some Jerk Chicken

I Watched "The Golden Globes"

I Put Bacon in It

I Got My Ears Flushed Out

I Grow Potatoes in My Ears

I Do Things in 2009---By Request!

▶2008 (111)

▶December (10)

I'll Say "No" to Drugs

I Thought I Had a Holiday Bladder Infection (but I don't)

I ATE Braunschweiger

I Eat Braunschweiger

I Faked a Concussion

I Suffer for My Hair

You Named That Toy

I Eat Cereal Marshmallows

I Steal Ideas from Other Blogs

I Am Done with the Californian

▶November (8)

I Improvise

I (Probably) Have a Worm in My Brain

I Fantasize About Tim Gunn

I Was a Dumbass Hoosier

I Am Car-Illiterate

I'm TRYING to Sleep Late

I Announce the Results of My Terrifying Contest

I Make Fun of People's Afflictions---in Song!

▶October (9)

I Do TERRIFYING Things

I Go to the Spa

Gus Does Things

I Know Fred

I Am FORTUNEate

I Done Did My Jury Duty (PART II)

I Done Did My Jury Duty (PART I)

I AM SICK

I Graciously Quote Other Bloggers

▶September (8)

I'm a Carnivore

I Welcome the Living Dead

I Had a Perm

I Get Free Stuff

I Make a Good Thing Better

I'm Moving

I Research Kittens

I Invented a Disease

▶August (12)

I Wrote an Entrecard Song

I Cut My Hair

I Did Things in Canada

I Buy Stuff Online

I TALK

I'm Going on Vacation

I Am Wordless (on Wednesday)

I Had a Colonoscopy

I Am . . . ALIVE (and hungry)

I Am Being Poisoned

I Like the Previews

I Take Requests

▶July (14)

I Am LATE

I Dare You

I Bought Some Cherries

I Am Fat (and Disgusted)

I Announce Gus's Results

I Wordle

I Am Old and Wise

I Sneeze

I Made a lolcat

I Am Quotable

I Went BACK to the Ponderosa Sun Club

I Got Drunk

I Have a Square Head

I Ate an Expensive Candy Bar

▶June (7)

I Have a Shiny New Header

I Lived with a Rat

I Got a Shiny Award

I Am Quirky

I Eat (some of the) Lucky Charms

I'm Seeing a Therapist

I Got a Kitten

▶May (10)

I Have Insomnia

I Am a Good Samaritan

I Cried When David Cook Won American Idol

I Am a Redhead

I Listen to Commercials

I Got Torn Apart

I Threw Out My Wedding Dress

I Flush

I Will Pimp My Snack

I Queue It

▶April (7)

I Bought a Door

I Am Famous (and More!)

I Hulu

I Delete Spam

I Eat the Whole Donut

I'm Going Back to the Ponderosa Sun Club

I Am a WINNER

▶March (11)

I Have Scoliosis

I Have a Crush on a Cartoon

I Take Pix

I Announce the Winners of the Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest!

I'm Finally Wrapping Up this Vocab Contest

I Get to the Bottom of This Green Potato Business

I Give Out FABulous Prizes

I Cook Things

I Put My Clothes Back on

I'm Still Rewarding Vocab Skillzzzz

I Have a Suntanned Butt

▶February (8)

I Reward Good Vocabulary

I Am At This Moment Lying on a Nude Beach

I Make Your Day

I Won't Do These Things

I Am Honored

I Got The Look

I Am Easily Annoyed

I Am Kind of a Big Deal (Confirmed!)

▶January (7)

I Love the 80s

I Sat Through Cloverfield Without Puking

I've Seen David Strathairn in His Underwear

I Take Drugs

I Am Distracted

I Have Google-Induced Brain Damage

I Play the Telephone Game

▶2007 (62)

▶December (6)

I Like Porn

I Love Christmas

I Had Surger . . . a Procedure

I Enjoy Holiday Music

I Experienced a Christmas Miracle

I Saw U2. IN IRELAND!

▶November (11)

I Do (Picture of Scary Rabbit)

I Clean My House

I Am My Blog

I'm Fat and Weak

I Embrace My Randomness

I Mishear Lyrics

I Have Great Ideas

I Drink Bugs

I See Things

I Play in an Imaginary Band

I'll Stumble 4 Ya

▶October (14)

I'll Eat All Your Halloween Candy

I Watched Alligator

I Am Kind of a Big Deal

I Had a Needle Stuck in My Throat

I Read Books

I Grow My Own Hair

I'm Going Back on Weight Watchers

I'm Having a Super Seven Saturday

I Skipped the Chicago Marathon

I Went to Vegas (part 2)

I Got Tagged with the "7 P Antonym" Meme

Hold On! I Announce the THIRD Winner of the Haiku Contest

I Announce the WINNERS of the Haiku Contest

I Saw Viggo Mortensen Naked

▶September (11)

I Make Announcements

I Had an Allergic Reaction

I Went to Vegas (part 1)

I Got Tagged

I'm Goin' to Vegas

I Won an Award

I Saw Led Zeppelin

I Went to the Ponderosa Sun Club

I Have a Goiter

I Am a Half-Breed

I Made a Video of My Cats so you don't have to

▶August (13)

I Like Lyrics

I Make Announcements

I Am Working My Way through 31 Days of Blogging Tips

I'm Going on a Crazy Diet

I Watched "Shark Week"

I Go Viral

I Scattered My Dad's Ashes

I Love E-mail

I Have a Big Butt

I Make Announcements

I Got Some Teeth Yanked Out (part 2)

I Got Some Teeth Yanked Out (part 1)

I Hate Fruit

▶July (7)

I Punctuate Things

I Wasted My Weekend on Cloverfield

I Zumba

I Walked 60 Miles for Breast Cancer Awareness

I Watched Last House on the Left

I Went to a Nude Beach

I'm Writing a Blog

U COMMENT

I FOLLOW

You Said Things

absepa: I’m really glad that the yoga and rolfing are working for your back pain! If you’re going to...

Surfie: I’m about as flexible as cold steel, so I’d need all the help the heat of The Room can give me....

Kathy: I concur. Patricia needs a blog. .-= Kathy´s last blog ..Where to Find Big Girl Panties =-.

Patricia (Feelin' hot, hot, hot): I just thought of the perfect match for this ‘Bikram Yoga’ experience,...

Margaret (Nanny Goats): Holy crap! I’ve heard about this this hot yoga thing, and there is no way in...

Daisy the Curly Cat: I think the worst part would be that all that heat and humidity would totally ruin the hair-do!...

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