Archive for March, 2008

I Have Scoliosis

Tweet Whatchya doin’ on your back? You should be dancing No, no, that’s not me in that picture. I’m tanner. Plus, my spine is a lot curvier. Which, when it comes to spines, is not desirable. As a kid, I had bad posture. “Stand up straight!” still rings in my ears, and if anyone says […]


I Have a Crush on a Cartoon

Tweet I like to live like I’m in a cartoon Yes, I’m chasing you all around the room I have a crush on a cartoon. But it’s not some dumb Looney Tunes character. It’s one of those crazy Charles Schwab commercials. They took what must’ve once been a real guy and then cartoonized him. He […]


I Take Pix

Tweet Could you take my picture ‘Cause I won’t remember How often have you said to yourself, If only pictures could talk. Never? Well, pretend you said it. What would pictures say about you? More importantly, what would pictures say about me? For today and today only, I will open up my home to the […]


Tweet (Deafening roar of cheering crowds followed by stunned, awed silence) The Vocabulary Skillzzz Contest(s) is/are over, and we have our winners! From the original contest Kathy from The Junk Drawer: The people who can’t understand JD’s invidious tendencies toward bananas and pickles are the same ones who are puzzled why similarly-shapen hot dogs make […]


Tweet Whee! It’s Judgment Day for all of you who entered my revised Vocabulary Skillzzz contest. As you may recall, the original contest featured words that were probably too obscure to be fun, yet! There were two worthy entrants and therefore, two winners. I revised the contest to include the much more familiar words Vicodin, […]


Tweet Don’t believe what you read Do you believe what you read? No, I don’t believe what I read There are a lot of food myths and urban legends floating around out there. What to believe? Whom can you trust? By God, is anything safe to eat in these troubled times? The answer is yes. […]



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